It goes with the book's vibe, is simple and well edited. Though, the title and subtitle font size can be increased a little.
Title: 04/05
A good title to go for a fantasy book, I cannot say much on this since the book has so much more to come. The title does fail to give a peek about the female protagonist getting sucked in a book.
Synopsis: 7.5/10
The blurb is short and gives enough details about the plot. Although the dialogues are too many and are too confusing, I'd suggest you use two dialogues spoken by different protagonists in the same scenario instead.
Execution: 07/10
The book is average paced, it would be better if you describe the scenes a little more.
Plot: 09/20
Good one, there are many books which go with the overall plot of a girl getting stuck inside a book. I'll be looking forward to better plot twists and scenarios in the upcoming chapter because the 7 chapters didn't give me enough idea about what could be ahead.
Writing Style: 09/20
You need to work just a little more on your descriptive writing and there are times when you could've described stuff in a better way but you didn't. I'm not sure if that was done to maintain some suspense or you just missed out providing details. Especially when It's about the 8th member, Luke and Y/n's encounter with the boys, it did seem a little rushed.
Please avoid using pictures, try to describe the picture in your own words instead.
Avoid adding random author's notes in between the story, it disturbs the flow of the book. However, you can add them at the end of the story.
Grammar & Vocabulary: 09/20
You don't use commas after the end of dialogues at all. If the sentence is ending with a dialogue you add a full stop at the end.
Ex: she left the room before muttering, "I'm going out."
If the sentence is continuing after a dialogue with action tags and such, then you use a comma at the end of the dialogue.
Ex: "I have an appointment today," she said.
To sum up, use a comma when a dialogue tag follows a quote. While your character may have just spoken a complete sentence, you may not need to end it with a period. When dialogue is followed by a tag (for example, he said, asked, replied), then use a comma before the closing quote when you would normally use a period.
2. Improper explanations
ex: "...she even has the mark has" : What is this supposed to mean? Maybe something like "she even got the mark I have" ?
3. Spelling mistakes
Ex: worm out instead of worn out
4. Do work on your vocabulary.
Characters & Development: 03/10
There is so much more to happen and since this is just the beginning, I don't expect the characters to change. It's better if the characters develop more and more as the book reaches its end. I like how the female protagonist doesn't fail to keep herself strong even in the worst situations. I also liked the idea of using Greek gods names as that of each member. The characters are realistic and they maintain their personas except Namjoon who is trying his best to control his feelings and emotions.
Total: 52.5/100
Final Note: Make sure to proofread the chapter before uploading it and do work on the dialogues, they can be written in a better way.
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