-21 days by ririii_v [Rev. Rabi]

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Reviewer: Rabi

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Reviewer: Rabi

Book: 21 days

Author: RiRiii_v

Cover: ⅕

The cover is not related to the story. The story is of romance genres with anxiety, depression and nostalgia used as the story's main elements. The cover is vibrating soft and aesthetic vibes which are not suiting the story's theme well. After that the text is black, the complete opposite of the cover which is not sitting on it well. 

I would suggest you use a bit darker theme with Jimin as a face claim as you are using it now. Burning butterflies flying around as butterflies represent memories. 

Title: ⅖

"21 days' ' as a title,it's interesting and catches the reader's attention. It is unique and sounds beautiful, at least to me. 

However, its interaction with the story is not discovered yet. Why did you use this phrase as a title and whats its relevance to the story is hidden. By seeing the current pace of the story and the last update which was on 9th August, this story is still in the beginning process. 

Therefore, this factor can't be discussed further. 

Synopsis: 1/10

Nothing extra ordinary was seen in this part. It was just a line, it is related to the title but its relevance to the story is not known yet. It is not a perfect synopsis of the book. It is not telling us any of the characters or describing the scene. An extract from a book doesn't make a perfect description. You should give us a little idea about the plot and book. 

Execution: 8/10

I liked how you execute each and every scene. You gave brief explanations, discussing each element. The brief explanations, detailed scenes and character's dialogues with their behavior regarding a situation, the pace of story is slow otherwise everything was well placed. 

Plot: 10/20

I don't think if this story has reached even the middle of its execution. Plot is still to be discovered and more thing have to come. Our main leads haven't started their relationship yet so I assumed from there that its still in the beginning process.

If we talk about the uniqueness of the plot and story theme, then I admit that yes, it is. It is unique in its own way. 

Writing style: 9/20

You lack in the sentence structure and grammar part. Grammar also has 2 parts,which are Tenses and prepositions/parts of speech. You used present tense in your story which is why I cut marks. Keep in mind that story is always written in past tense. You also lacked in using the correct preposition marks. 

We will discuss it all in grammar/ vocabulary sector.

Grammar: 10/20

Only objection with grammar phrase of the see I have is, that you used wrong tenses in story telling. Whenever you write story, it is always written in past tense. Only dialogues and essays are written in present tense. There are many occasions where you wrotr the scene in present. The first whole chapter is written in present tense.

Check the example below:

Slumping down on the chair after working on your project non stop for the past few hours you run your fingers through your hair feeling tired and frustrated. 

Now this whole sentence is wholly avoided of any comma, pause or full stop. This short paragraph can be written into 2-3 lines or made easy for reader to understand better by using preposition marks.

Such as: 

Slumping down on the chair after working for hours on your project non-stop, you run your fingers through your hair, feeling tired and frustrated.

The whole book is filled with little mistakes like mentioned above, not using preposition marks,missing correct phrases etc. Hope you can work on them.

Character's development: 4/10

You focused on their behaviors and inner emotions as well. I really liked the way you explained emotions and character's behaviors regarding a specific situation. You worked hard showing us what they are feeling, what they are thinking, assuming of a situation. 

However, about the development sector, this is not explaines yet. I don't see any noticeable changing in their characters and behaviors. Mia ined girl is still stuck to her boyfriend or better say ex-boyfriend, Jimin hasn't made any move…

But I think there would be a slow burn in this factor and I can predict the changing behaviors of characters in upcoming chapters. 

total: 45/100

total: 45/100

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