The cover is eye-catching, the dark theme gives off mysterious vibes. The font style used for title and quotes are attractive, making the cover look more appealing. The cover interprets the plot, judging by the attire women wore and her surroundings that resemble royalty. So the reader can correctly guess the genre of the story, hence it matches the plot.
Title: 3/05
The title is simple and relevant to the plot. But it doesn't grab attention.
Synopsis: 2/10
The description is short, revealing the main protagonist's feelings through dialogue and other struggles she has gone through. It isn't so attention-grabbing probably because of the writing style. There are ellipsis mistakes too, I suggest writing a thrilling description with good suspense that encourages the viewers to read the book.
Execution: 4/10
The beginning chapters need to be edited. They aren't executed well compared to new updates which shows your improvement. Make sure narration about feelings or inner thoughts should be separated from action tags. Like in the same long paragraph she thought about her family and then wiped her tears, that wasn't pleasant to read at the same time without any line break.
Plot: 15/20
The plot is rare and intriguing. I really love the plot twist when it turns out Jihun was the ruthless king. The plot idea is pretty creative and thrilling, you just need to put more effort in every other aspect too like exposition and rising action, small events and incidents.
Writing Style: 9/20
You missed to describe important details which help readers to feel the character's emotions, or something else to feel or relate with them. Your writing style actually improved in other chapters, but the problem rises if the exposition is not good enough because the readers may lose interest and leave. Readers imagine everything an author writes. To create a better world in their mind through your writing style, you have to make sure you don't ruin it by rushing things. In the prologue, what do you expect the reader to imagine when you narrate how she walked through "kingdom" while being chained. Instead of a kingdom you should have described an area or place. Also in chapter one, she slept on hard rock but didn't face any kind of back pain or body pain. It was kinda unrealistic, the reader can't emphasize the character's pain this way. Moreover, It would be much better if you describe her appearance and also Jihun's when he first met her to let the reader know what made her assume he is a royal person? His clothes? Personality? Vibes? Also the kingdom is known as paradise but the actual kingdom name?
Grammar & Vocabulary: 9/20
Ellipsis:-
Ellipsis is three dots used at the end of a sentence to indicate nervousness or trailing off. You have made this mistake by adding more than three dots throughout the whole book.
Prologue,
I set my foot on a territory which was not mine....
Chapter 2,
I wonder if I will meet that handsome guy ever again......
Chapter 3,
As if, you casted some kind of spell on me......
Vocabulary:-
I suggest reading many books to improve your vocabulary style.
Chapter 1,
Why are his eyes keep looking at me like that?
Correction: Why does his eyes keep looking at me like that?
Chapter 3,
I looked around (me) and saw houses, people, guards, animals.
Correction: Myself
Punctuation:-
Don't give space before punctuation such as quotation or exclamation marks. Also avoid adding commas right after the dialogue ends for example: " Just a little bit more Ara, hold on for a bit. ",
This kind of mistake caught my eye many times in your book.
Cliche:-
When you repeat sentences or words twice, it becomes cliche and annoying.
Chapter 9,
"Ah! You can take her. We are done looking at the palace for today anyway. (Can you take her) to the king?
Chapter 9,
She said as she walked away. I looked at her as she (walked away), her finger fading slowly from my sight
Characters & Development: 4/10
The emotions weren't well-explained before. I love the chemistry between Ara and Jihun but it would be much better if you have described their moments together or later as a memory to show the readers the difference between old and new Jihun. Also when he gave her useful tips at their first meeting but at the same time he said he doesn't take advice from strangers. Ara didn't even react to it, It was pretty weird. Also right after she passed out in his arms, you should have given a hint of time skip, I was confused for a second. Overall, the narration of Ara's thoughts regarding Jihun is very beautiful and well-written.
Total: 50/100
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