Swimming with Asian Sharks - Business Secrets from the Pacific Rim

How to Get Someone to Follow You to Asia

I spent most of the month before I left picking out the clothes I would take with me, and getting ready for my second attempt at China. This time I was determined to go back for four months and really get something out of it. I also realized that I couldn’t do it alone; I needed somebody to be there to give me emotional support.  I set out to find a friend to go with me. I recalled that a while back, I’d heard from my buddy from university, Mr. Mineral, who’s a fantastically smart, outgoing guy.

Mr. Mineral was still looking for work because geologists weren’t in high demand at the moment. I went to him and we had a cup of tea. I knew Mr. Mineral could be influenced to do this. After a brief chat, I extended him an offer: I would pay for his ticket and pay him a monthly salary to come with me to Hong Kong.  He would benefit by getting a lot of new experience, and basically a paid trip to Asia. I spent extra care ensuring he would see the direct benefit to him.  At the end of the meeting, he was convinced that he would go.  The only remaining hurdle was to convince his parents.

Mr. Mineral had never been introduced to the lesson my wise aunt taught me many years ago.  They were not as easy to convince. They had laboured so hard to get him away from China. He left when he was nine years old and had never been back. Here I was telling their son to go back to learn and grow. They were really opposed to the idea, but I told them that I would take care of his expenses and his accommodations if they would just agree to let him go. I managed to convince them by speaking about the benefits to Mr. Mineral of making this trip.

When I finally managed to convince his mother, her parting words were, “If he gets a Chinese woman pregnant, I’m going to kill you.” This was a direct threat, not in a joking way, and in my mind, I was thinking, weren’t you a Chinese woman at some point? The follow-up thought was, I can’t control your son’s every action. Mr. Mineral’s mother had an antiquated view of the Chinese population—that everyone’s still trying to get out of China and come to the promised land of North America and they’ll do whatever they can, even get pregnant with your child and force your hand if necessary. Once this Chinese woman arrived, she would dump you and run away with all your money.

This is no longer true; things have changed drastically since Mr. Mineral’s mother left and people are not even willing to leave anymore. The new generation of Chinese has no interest in leaving, because everything it wants is already there in China. They are far more affluent, and girls especially have very high standards now.

The lesson here is to talk in terms of the benefits to the other person.  And know when to hold your tongue.