The Way I Am (DreamNotFound)

30 (The End)

TW's:
-Mentions of everything that happened

Clay's POV

It was a few weeks later and I was feeling a little better. I had worn nail polish to school everyday and I felt more comfortable now. Sapnap was wearing it too and he had even told his friends to wear it too. That was why Wilbur, Darryl, Zak and Alex were wearing it too now. They liked it too and they wanted to prove everyone wrong.

More and more people started wearing it now in our school being boys and a lot of people had even came out for having a different sexuality than straight.

Niki, George's friend, had painted her nails in the bisexual flag, George had their nails still painted in the gay flag, and I had also already seen a pansexual, an asexual and a transgender flag.

More and more people came out for the way they were and it helped me so much that I also painted my nails in the gay flag now.

It was the break and George, Niki and I were sitting with Sapnap's whole group. We became friends now and every single one of them accepted George's and my relationship, just as they accepted Niki being bisexual.

I had even met up with Niki a few times at her place and she told me she liked Laura. Both George and I have been encouraging her to ask Laura out and so she did one week ago. It appeared to be a really nice date and as they were on the date Laura came out as pansexual.

George and I have been cheering her on the whole day and she went on another date with Laura yesterday.

With George and my relationship everything went amazing, after George walked in on me cutting myself, they were really scared of leaving me alone, so I had been with George constantly for weeks long, something I didn't dislike at all.

I was now able to fully move in with George, their parents and their sister and they did everything for me. They paid me therapy and I went there three times a week at first. I got medication for my ADHD which made me a lot calmer already. My anger issues got a little better and with my other medication I slept way better. Because all that went better, my depression also went better.

I had a lot of therapy to process the loss of my parents and I had finally been able to release all my emotions. I had the worst tantrum and panic attack at once when I came home from therapy and I literally broke everything around me.

George's parents knew exactly what to do, they brought me outside and gave me something to hit. After I had been screaming and hitting for half an hour long, I bursted into tears, having a panic attack. George was there for me to calm me down and no one was mad at me for breaking everything in the house. There was a lot of glass everywhere and I really wanted to clean it up, but I wasn't allowed to.

I got given some extra medication to calm down and after that day, I had finally released all my hidden feelings. I had at that moment also screamed about being gay, screamed about my uncle and aunt and screamed how much I had hated myself. It helped, it really did. It was like if I could finally let all those feelings go.

I had gained back the weight I had lost and I felt really comfortable in my body. George's parents really treated me like they treated George and even Maddie loved me being here.

They did make a whole room for me, but I always slept in George's bed, cuddling or kissing with them. We were in love and I just didn't want to be anywhere else than near them.

George and I often went to the beach as George made me think of when I fell asleep. We just liked watching the sunset and hugging with each other meanwhile.

I had saved up a lot of money to buy George colourblind glasses so they could finally see how their rainbow flag looked. They found it beautiful and a few days later there was a rainbow in the sky. George and I went to the beach and watched the rainbow just as long as it took to be dark outside and to have the rainbow fade.

George had passed their year, but because of everything that happened to me, I did my last year again. That had been hard, but it was way better for me. After a while I had accepted it with a lot of help.

I looked at George and kissed them shortly. 'I love you.'

'I love you too and I'm so proud of you,' George started. 'You've gone through so much, you've experienced the worst internalised homophobia I have ever seen, but now you dare showing who you are and I'm so incredibly proud of you.'

'I'm still so sorry that I have ever bullied you, I was so jealous of you. I wanted to be like you, I found you extremely attractive and I was so in love with you. You dared bring yourself and I didn't at all. I just wanted to be more like you, but I couldn't. I hated you because I loved you so much.'

George smiled at me and kissed me shortly. 'It's totally fine, I have forgiven you years ago already. You changed, you suddenly changed and I didn't know why. I was sure there was something wrong after you broke literally the whole classroom again.'

'I changed when my parents died.'

'Totally understandable,' George whispered, rubbing through my hair. 'Losing your parents is one of the hardest things to go through.'

I nodded slowly.

'But I'm still so proud of you, you know dare showing who you are after all these years of hiding your true self.'

I smiled shyly, kissed them shortly and took a deep breath. 'I'm gay and that's the way I am.'

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