The Way I Am (DreamNotFound)

13

TW's:
-(Child) abuse/homophobia (f-slur)
-Disrespect pronouns

George's POV

I was really confused when I didn't hear anything of Clay anymore. It made me worry at lot. What if his uncle did something to him, or what if he regretted that he kissed me? I sighed deeply and tried to fall asleep, but I couldn't.

I had sent him multiple texts and I even tried to call him, but his phone wasn't on. The messages wouldn't sent and I got his voicemail immediately. I was worried, I was this worried that I bursted into tears and curled myself up like a ball.

I sobbed softly as I tried thinking of what I could have possibly done wrong. He didn't seem to be mad at me after we kissed. He was really happy when I had even printed the photos of his family. He kissed me multiple times, he wanted it too.

Apparently Maddie heard me cry and she ran into my room, kneeling down next to my bed. She grabbed my hand and hugged me tightly. 'What's wrong, George?'

'He doesn't reply at all anymore,' I whispered.

'Are you talking about Clay?'

I nodded. 'We kissed today and I fell in love with him completely, but he uh- he told me his uncle and aunt are abusive. I didn't want to send him back there, but he insisted on it. He isn't replying to me at all and maybe he just regrets the fact we kissed.'

Maddie rubbed my back and kissed my cheek. 'Come, I'll help you fall asleep and he's just at school tomorrow. If not, we will all go to his house or we will call the police, okay?'

'What if he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore? Maybe I'm not a good kisser or something, maybe I made him feel uncomfortable.'

'Don't worry about that part, I bet you did great and if he leaves you because of something like that, he's a true bitch.'

I giggled softly and Maddie wiped my tears away. 'Come, go lay down comfortably.'

I nodded and did what she told me too. She started rubbing through my hair and started softly talking.

'I heard you talking with Clay on the phone. Making him imagine you were on a beach, the sun going down, the waves softly hitting the shore. Imagine the birds flying through the air, looking for their nests. Since you can dream about anything, just imagine Clay being with you, him holding your hand.'

I imagined anything she told me to and I smiled as I got a little more sleepy.

'Imagine him softly rubbing your hand with his thumb, hugging you tightly. Even though everything seems to go wrong now, you can imagine anything, George. What would you want him to do?'

'Kiss me,' I whispered.

'Imagine Clay kissing you again in the sunset, together.'

My eyes kept shutting and I was fighting against my sleep.

'Relax, George. Just relax and fall asleep.'

I listened to what she said and started dozing off.

'It will be alright, maybe not immediately, but it will someday. I promise you, George. If Clay isn't the true one for you, you will find someone else. Don't worry about it at all, there are enough sweet and handsome boys on this earth and I bet someone will like you too.'

With that I fell asleep.

Clay's POV
(Back to when he got home)

I entered my house and I looked around me, noticing my uncle and aunt were sitting on the couch, watching some television. I sneaked around to the stairs, but it was already too late.

My uncle stood up and he grabbed my hand. 'What is this?'

'Uh- n-nail polish.'

'Are you a faggot, Clay?'

'N-no.'

'Who did this?'

'A friend.'

'WHO?'

'G-George,' I whispered.

'Oh, so you sneak out of our house and you go to see a faggot who starts painting your nails?'

'We just had fun and they liked painting my nails too.'

'They?'

'George likes to be called they.'

'Literally, Clay. Our world has gone to shit. People don't even see the difference between a boy and a girl anymore. George is a HE, nothing in between, even though he acts like he's a girl.'

'They,' I whispered.

Before I even realised I got hit in my face and pushed to the stairs. 'TAKE OF THAT NAIL POLISH NOW.'

'I kind of like it.'

'Oh, I see. You want to look like a faggot? Are you also going to use different pronouns now? You get influenced by his diseases.'

'Being gay is not a disease,' I whispered.

I got hit again and grabbed by my shoulders. 'Go to your room, if your nail polish isn't gone within ten minutes, I'll beat you up completely.'

'But uh- I have school tomorrow.'

'So? I don't care, you always lie to us anyway, you can make up some excuses. Also, give me your phone, I don't want you texting anyone. I'm going to check your whole phone.'

'Please, don't,' I whispered.

'Do you have something to hide?'

'N-no.'

My uncle grabbed my phone and know I became really pale.

'You're texting with that faggot?'

'They are my friend.'

'Why do you have a hidden album in your photo gallery?' my uncle screamed.

'Uh-.'

'I see,' he said a minute later. 'An album with random guys, pride flags and even a few pictures of that George guy.'

'Uh- someone must have uh- joked with me. I'll delete that album, I have never uh- seen it.'

'To your room, NOW. You're never getting your phone back, definitely now I also see you've called for five whole hours with that faggot.'

'We fell asleep,' I whispered.

I got pushed really hard and I fell down on the ground, bruising my knee really badly. I crawled up and I tried going upstairs, but my knee hurt too much.

My uncle kicked me. 'WALK.'

I bit my lip to fight against the pain in my knee and I went upstairs. Before my uncle shut the door behind me, he hit me in my face really hard and locked me up again.

I started crying and I curled up like a ball, noticing my nose was bleeding. I grabbed a napkin and held it against my nose, crying my eyes out.

I was so happy after I kissed with George, but I couldn't do anything like that ever again. I had to break contact with them immediately, I couldn't be in love with a guy, even though I was hopelessly in love with them.

1098 words