The Way I Am (DreamNotFound)

7

TW's:
-Mentions bullying
-(Child) abuse (cuts)
-Aggression/tantrum (anger issues)

Clay's POV

I woke up early that next morning, but I felt a little better. I slept for three to four hours this night and I hadn't had any sleep in days now. I looked at my phone and saw the call with George was still going.

I held my phone against my ear and I could hear George softly breathing, they were asleep. I smiled slightly and I stood up to take a quick shower. Luckily my aunt and uncle had a big house, I had my own bathroom so I could go whenever I wanted to. My door was locked so I wouldn't be able to go shower somewhere else in the house.

I took a quick shower and returned to my room. I suddenly heard George softly speaking to someone.

'Maddie, I just woke up. What do you want?'

'I couldn't sleep last night so I also painted my nails in the rainbow colour. I'm not letting my little bother be alone, if someone makes fun of you, I'll stand up for you.'

I heard George softly giggle. 'I'm used to it, I'll probably get beaten up again.'

'I'm getting all my friends to beat them up. By the way who were you talking to at night?'

'Uh- none of your business.'

'Oh, secret crush? He has to be accepted by me, just saying.'

'I don't have a secret crush.'

'But you stay up for him at midnight.'

'No, I-.'

I suddenly heard her grab George's phone. 'I see,' she said, softly giggling. 'Hi, Clay. You better don't be a dick to my little bother.'

'Uh- no no,' I giggled. 'I won't.'

'I'll get out lighters otherwise.'

'Maddie!' I heard George yell. 'Freak.'

'I'll protect my little bother with my whole life.'

'I won't do them anything,' I giggled.

It went a little quiet. 'You used my pronouns,' George whispered, slightly moved by the fact someone respected their pronouns other than their parents and friends.

'That's one plus point, Clay,' Maddie said.

'If George wants to be called they and them, I'll call them like that.'

'I would hug you,' George said. 'You're the first one to respect it, even though I must be honest. You were the biggest arsehole in the school.'

'I'm probably still the biggest arsehole, because I'm an idiot.'

'Well, you two have fun. I'm going to shower.' I heard Maddie walking away and I was left with George.

'Thanks for uh- helping me tonight. I fell asleep pretty quickly and I haven't had any sleep in days now.'

'I'm glad I could help.'

'George?'

'Yes.'

'I'm sorry for being so mean to you for years. I know I have been an absolute arsehole for maybe even years, I know I have hurt you a lot and I'm sorry.'

'It's fine, I forgive people really quickly anyway.'

'You're really uh- s-sweet.'

'Not going to lie to you, but you're really homophobic and I'm still gay. I would rather have you to decided for yourself right now if you want to talk with me, because I will stay gay. I will keep wearing nail polish and whatever.'

'I know it's weird that I suddenly changed and such, but this is real me. I accept you, I just kind of act like I don't.'

'You don't have to act differently, Clay.'

'I do,' I whispered. 'I don't want to- you know leave it. It's stupid, I'm not ready to tell it.'

'That's fine, I won't force you into anything. Do I see you in school in a little?'

'Yeah. Is your hand okay?'

'It's blue, but it's fine.'

'And your cheek?'

'Don't worry, it's fine. I think I'm going to have some breakfast and I'll see you at school.'

'Okay, bye. See you.'

'Bye.'

I ended the call and knocked on my door. 'Aunt? Uncle? Can I eat some breakfast today?'

It stayed quiet and I sat back down on my bed, my stomach was hurting because I was so hungry. I felt myself getting extremely mad again and I jumped up, hitting the wall multiple times.

'I'M HUNGRY.'

I started crying out of anger and I started hitting my door. 'PLEASE.'

I got so extremely mad that I started screaming really loudly. My voice cracked multiple times and in the end my voice stopped. I had no voice left, I had bruised my hands by hitting the walls and the doors and I cried my eyes out.

I sat down on my bed, hiding myself under my sheets. I looked at the picture of my parents on the wall and I grabbed it, hugging it close to my body. I started quietly talking to my parents, even though they would never hear me.

Suddenly my door opened and my uncle walked in furiously.

'How dare you scream like that, you idiot?'

'I was mad.'

'You are always mad, but you messed up now. Now you've made me mad.'

He grabbed the photo frame out of my hands and looked at it.

'They didn't love you.'

'They do.'

My uncle lifted up the photo frame and before I could even realise what happened, I felt an extreme pain coming up. I looked around me in confusion and I saw the whole room full of glass now.

'Did you just break my photo frame?' I whispered, looking down at my arm which was bleeding. 'That was the only picture I had,' I whispered really quietly. I stood up and started grabbing all pieces of glass, trying to put them together.

'My only picture,' I whispered, tears stinging in my eyes. I tried not to blink to not let the tears roll down my face.

'You're just a pussy, okay? That stupid picture is still fine, you can just buy a new frame.'

'My dad bought me this photo frame.'

I crawled through my room, having glass cutting my knees and hands unintentionally. I stood up and ran away to the bathroom to take care of my cuts and wounds. It didn't take me longer than ten seconds to burst out in the most tears I had ever had.

1023 words