The Way I Am (DreamNotFound)

2

TW's:
-Bullying+slight abuse (anger issues)
-Homophobia (f-slur+disrespect pronouns)

George's POV

I walked to the toilet and when I came back I saw Clay was crying. He was biting his nails and furiously moving his legs. I walked passed him, but before I knew Clay stood up again, pushing me against the wall again.

'Okay, Clay. I know you hate me, I know my new name is faggot, I know you're going to hit me. What the hell do you want now?'

I looked in his eyes. He had a broken look in them, a completely ripped apart look. He had bags under his eyes, he was always really pale and there was no life in his eyes. I had noticed it before, the broken look in his eyes. He laughed rarely, but if he laughed, he didn't laugh with his eyes. His eyes still stood broken how hard he laughed.

Clay opened his mouth to say something, he was holding my shoulders tightly. It didn't even feel like bullying me anymore, it felt like he needed me. As if he was wishing to hug me and cry in my arms.

I saw him fighting against his tears and the tight grip onto my shoulders weakened.

'Hey, Clay. Listen to me. I have no idea what's going on, but just know this. The bullying doesn't hurt me at all anymore, okay? I'm glad to be myself now finally. I know something went completely wrong in your life, but just know that you can always text me. My number is in our school group chat.'

'I'm not going to text a faggot.'

'That's fine, you don't have to. Just know that you're free to!'

'I'm fine, I'm just annoyed with your existence.'

'Okay, that's fine. Just know that you're the one pushing me against walls the whole time. I could have been gone by now.'

Clay got even paler than he already was and he was fighting so hard against his tears.

'I- h-hate you.'

'I know you do.'

He let go of me and I walked away, but Clay grabbed my hand.

'George, I-.'

'What?'

'I-I'm sor-. Nothing, just leave.'

I smiled at him and he seemed to even smile back very weakly. I walked to my class and I sat down again. The teacher looked at me.

'Are you okay?'

I nodded. 'Yeah, why?'

'I thought I heard someone scream at you.'

'Nah, I'm good.'

'Okay, we are making groups for the next assignment. George-.' He looked around him and pointed to Niki. She was my good friend. 'He can go with Niki.'

'They,' I said, rolling my eyes.

'What?'

'They.'

'What they?'

'How many do I have tell everyone that I go by they/them pronouns.'

I heard some people in the class giggle and rolled my eyes again. I really didn't care about them making fun of me. I felt comfortable with those pronounces.

'They can go with Niki,' the teacher said a little sarcastically.

'How hard is respecting someone's pronouns?'

'You're just a boy,' a guy in front of me said. 'Or maybe you're right. You act like a girl, we should call you she.'

'They.'

'You're so dumb, acting like you have no gender or something,' the guy said.

'I have a gender, I'm a boy. A boy who prefers to be called they/them.'

'Why should we respect a faggot like you?'

'Because I respect you too.'

'You're a faggot, you don't deserve love.'

'You know, just be stubborn and call me he. If that's nice for you.'

'Nah, I'll call you she from now on.'

'Do what you want, I will not bother. My real friends and family will respect my pronouns.'

'You're an attention seeker. You have to be different again, you're always different and annoying.'

'I'm how I want to be, you all are fake. You all follow each other because you think that's cool. And you as a teacher, you have to respect your students, but you're also just a stupid arsehole.'

'George, you can leave.'

I rolled my eyes and sighed. 'Fine, you idiot.'

I stood up and walked away. I slammed the door shut in their faces and Clay looked up at me. He was on his phone and I glanced over it. It was opened on a new chat and when I looked closer I saw my name. He was trying to text me.

He quickly hid his screen and turned his phone off. 'Why are you looking at my phone, idiot?'

'I saw my name.'

'Not everything is about you, selfish bastard. That was just a friend of mine, you will never be anything close to a friend.'

''We don't have to be friends.'

'Why are you here, arsehole?'

'I got kicked out.'

'Deserved.'

'Just as you.'

'You don't know anything about me.'

'Just as you don't know anything about me.'

'I know enough about you. I know that you're a faggot and disgusting.'

'I like boys, I fall in love with boys and I like the idea of kissing of boy more than a girl. What do you have to do with this?'

'It's disgusting.'

'That's fine, but you don't have to do anything with a boy. You can just go and get a girlfriend or kiss some girls if you like that. I like boys and that's it, nothing else is going on.'

'Please leave me the hell alone, I hate you.'

'Clay, you've told me that so many times now. I know that you hate me. It's not hurting me, actually nothing you've said or done has hurt me inside. I know something is wrong with you.'

Clay had a wave of anger apparently and suddenly hit me in my face really hard.

'Nothing hurt you, huh?'

I held my hand on my face and felt a bad pain coming up. 'I said inside. That wasn't necessary at all, Clay.'

'Leave me alone then.'

'I was going to until you decided to hit me.'

He pushed me against the wall and squeezed my shoulders tightly, I could feel his nails pierce my skin.

'I despise you,' he hissed.

'Okay, have a nice day, Clay,' I said, walking off quickly.

1029 words