The Way I Am (DreamNotFound)

16

TW's:
-Tantrum/aggression (bad abuse)
-Homophobia/bullying (f-slur)
-Death threats (knife)
-Suicidal thoughts

Clay's POV

I started crying as I ran off, everyone now knew I was gay and I wanted to keep it a secret forever. It was my own fault, I kissed George in the school and that was dumb. But I didn't know someone would go this low and make a picture of us kissing.

I was extremely scared and sad as I ran away, I passed some people who looked at me in disgust. I didn't know how everyone suddenly knew I was gay, but they did.

'Hey faggot,' someone said giggling as I ran by.

'SHUT UP,' I yelled, crying my eyes out. I couldn't resist myself anymore, I turned around looking at a boy. He was giggling when he saw me cry and I hit him in his face multiple times. He fell on the ground and looked at me in shock.

'DON'T YOU DARE EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN.'

'I was just greeting you the way you need to be greeted, you are a faggot. You're the one making out with that other faggot in this school. It's pretty much you're own fault.'

'DID I CHOOSE TO BE GAY?'

'Yeah.'

I kicked the side of his chest and he winced. 'Dang, you have problems.'

'SO DO YOU, MAKING FUN OF SOMEONE WHO IS GAY.'

'You're just gross and a psychopath.'

I completely lost it, I didn't know how to handle myself anymore and started beating the guy up completely, just as long as his face was bleeding and he begged for me to stop.

'CLAY, YOU IDIOT,' I heard a voice scream.

I turned around and looked in the face of George.

'What the hell are you doing?' they yelled, grabbing my shoulders to pull me away.

'George, I'm warning you. LET GO OF ME OR I WILL HIT YOU.'

'Fine, no worries. I'll let go of you, but you calm down right away. You can't beat the crap out of him.'

'He was really mean, he deserved it,' I muttered.

George helped the guy standing up and the boy struggled to walk away. George grabbed my hand as soon as the boy was gone and they looked at me.

'Clay, everything is going wrong this way. Please, seek for help.'

'I just need time alone.'

'That's fine, take as long as you need,' George smiled. 'You want a kiss?'

I smiled shyly and nodded, having George kiss my lips really shortly after. I really wished to be able to grab their shoulder to pull them in for a long and passionated kiss, but I couldn't. If not because of all homophobes around me, then because I was way too scared of anything.

George kissed me another time and kissed my hand after. 'Take your time, Clay. I'll be waiting for you whenever you're ready. Just come to my place, everyone will welcome you happily.'

I smiled softly and started walking away. I wanted to be gone, I wanted to be gone forever. I was even planning on never coming back. I turned around, looking at George with tears in my eyes. I had to say goodbye to them for when I would never come back and never see them again.

'George, I-I love you,' I whispered.

George smiled and they blushed brightly. 'I love you too, Clay.'

I smiled as I walked off for real now. I was going home to grab some stuff and I was leaving. I wanted to go away forever and not care about anyone or anything anymore.

I went home and I sneaked upstairs, not expecting what I saw at all. My uncle was sitting in my room and as soon as I came in, I got hit in my face really hard.

I held my hand on my painful cheek and looked at him in shock. 'Why?'

My uncle held my phone up. 'What have I done this time?' I whispered.

He turned the screen to me and I looked at our school group chat. My eyes widened and my face heated up as soon as I saw what he meant.

'Uh- I can explain,' I started.

I looked in shock at the pictures of me and George kissing in the school and I fought against my tears. That was why everyone knew it, they spread the pictures everywhere.

'Clay, there is nothing I want you to explain. You have been kissing with a boy, you're a faggot. I don't want you here anymore, leave before I'll kick you out.'

'Can I grab some stuff?'

'You mean this?' my uncle said, holding up the photo frame my dad gave me.

I nodded slowly and I wanted to grab it, but he threw it on the ground, stamping his feet on it. I could hear it break and I looked in shock at my photo frame.

'How could you?' I whispered.

'Your parents are DEAD, okay? You will never see them ever again.'

'You're hurting me,' I whispered.

'They didn't love you either, Clay. No one loves you. Love between two boys is fake, you have no one. And actually no one would care if you would die here right now, so why not?'

'Die?'

'Yeah, I was prepared, because I don't want a faggot in my house.' He turned around to my desk and grabbed something. I looked at it in shock and my face heated up.

'I will uh- call the police.'

'With what, Clay? With your phone which I'm holding here?'

He threw my phone on the ground, making it fall apart. I kneeled down to grab my photo frame and my phone, but I got pushed on the ground, my uncle holding the knife he brought with him above my head.

'No one likes you, Clay.'

'You can't just kill me,' I whispered. 'Please, let me go. I'll leave, I promise you.'

My uncle was literally holding the knife on my neck now and I was shaking out of fear. 'Please, let me go. I promise you, I will leave.'

I looked in the eyes of my uncle, they stood so incredibly mad. I was so scared, I was sure. He was going to kill me here and now, it was over.

1036 words

I'm so sorry for this horrible cliffhanger, but yeah you have to deal with it LOL

Also I used to write thrillers and I guess my murderous vibes came out again.