The Way I Am (DreamNotFound)

19

TW's:
-Mentions abuse
-Homophobia (f-slur)
-Mentions missing person
-Mentions death family member

George's POV

I woke up late the next morning and I hurried downstairs. I remembered myself dreaming about Clay the whole night and I didn't want to wake up.

I hurried myself downstairs, sitting down to quickly eat a sandwich. My mum looked at me and she smiled. 'Did you sleep a little?'

'Maddie helped me fall asleep and I slept the whole night, dreaming about Clay apparently.'

'Aww, that must have been an amazing dream.'

'I have a really short day in school today, mum. Two of my teachers are sick and one is of PE and the other is my last class, I'm home before lunch.'

'That's great! We will go to Clay's house after that, okay?'

I nodded, Clay had once told me his address, because I insisted on him to give it to me for if something would happen. I knew where he lived.

I left to go to school half an hour later and basically ran inside, looking for Clay. After fifteen minutes I gave up looking for him, he wasn't here. I was even more worried than this morning and I walked to my first class, sitting it out.

What if Clay wasn't okay? What if he had an accident, or what if he was hurt or sick? Maybe he was even-, I stopped myself quickly and tried concentrating on my class.

The whole day passed by extremely slowly and after school I had never been home quicker than I was today. My mum was standing in the kitchen, preparing lunch for us both. She looked up at me and she smiled. 'How was school?'

'Terrible, Clay wasn't there and I'm so extremely worried, mum,' I yelled, but I started talking quieter and quieter as I realised the boy I loved so much was missing. He was actually gone.

I looked at my lunch which my mum gave me and sat down on the couch with tears in my eyes. I took a small bite and completely froze after.

'Mum, I'm so incredibly in love with Clay and now he's gone. I really wish I wasn't this in love with him, but I guess I am and now he's gone.'

'We are going to his house after lunch. Is that a comforting thought?'

'A little, but what if he's also not there?'

'Then we will call the police.'

'But what if they can't find him too? He can't survive that long without water.'

'We are going to find him, sweetie.'

'I honestly have never felt more down than I do now. I may sound so over dramatic since we weren't even a thing and I just fell in love with him since a few days, but I genuinely love him, I genuinely miss him.'

'You don't sound over dramatic at all, you are in love, sweetie.'

'Why is life so complicated suddenly? I don't want to be in love and I-.'

I suddenly felt a tear rolling down my face as I kept eating small bites of my lunch. My mum sat next to me in silence and I looked at my hands.

'I just had already made plans on how I could ask him to be my boyfriend,' I whispered.

'Do you want to tell me those ideas?'

'I wanted to go to the beach in the evening at the sunset. And then I would want to wrap my arm around him and ask him to be my boyfriend. Maybe I would kiss with him after,' I said, smiling shyly.

'That sounds beautiful.'

'But I don't think I ever will. He hit me again yesterday and I don't think he will ever love me the way I love him.'

'I think he will, but he's really scared of showing that. He is really closeted, well. He was really closeted,' my mum said, finishing her last bite.

She stood up and grabbed my hand, putting my plate on the table. 'Come, does Clay live close?'

'Yeah, pretty close,' I nodded.

'Shall we walk there together? The sun is shining a little, you liked walking with me a lot in the past.'

I nodded and I smiled. 'That sounds great.'

'Come with me.'

My mum grabbed her and my coat and we walked outside. I calmed down a little because of the sun, it wasn't warm or anything, it was just nice having the sun on your face. We walked for twenty minutes and my mother rang the bell.

It took a little before the door opened and I guessed Clay's uncle opened up. He smiled at my mum and then looked at me, having his smile immediately drop.

'Please, don't tell me you're that faggot.'

'Hey, don't you dare ever call my son that again.'

'He's disgusting.'

'They,' my mum correct him. 'Is Clay here? We want to talk to him immediately.'

'Nah, he's not here. I kicked that faggot out after I found out he is making out with guys. That guy who is standing there to be clear.'

'Can you stop calling people who are gay that slur? I don't appreciate that at all,' my mum said. 'Where did Clay go?'

'I don't know, I kicked him out.'

'Because he's gay? Are you kidding me?'

'Yeah, he got sent here after his parents died and I have never cared about him.'

'How can you be this harsh for a boy who already lost his parents.'

'It was his own fault, if he would have gone downstairs helping his parents escaped, no one would have died. But no, he sat in his room calling for help, of course they would come too late.'

'He did what he could,' I whispered. 'It's not his fault.'

'I don't want a faggot and a murderer in my house.'

'He isn't any of those things,' my mum said. 'When did he leave the house?'

His uncle shrugged, not caring about anything we were saying. 'I guess yesterday morning or something.'

'And you don't call the police?'

'No, why would I? I kicked him out, I'm happy to never see him again.'

My mum couldn't handle it anymore and slammed the door shut, grabbing her phone.

'No worries, I'll call the police, sweetie.'

1035 words