Chapter 36: I Dream, A Dream

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   I open my eyes and see Millie and Mom over me, but I still can't hear anything. I don't think they know that I can't hear them, since they keep talking to me. My mouth is wired shut, I have a cast around my leg, my nose is back in place and my wrist is fractured. I'm trying to make out what they are saying but, still nothing. 

  They gave me a mini whiteboard to write on since I can't talk. I wrote "I can't hear anything" and they gasp in worry. My body still aches badly and I know I have been here for a few days now. In comes Dad, Jace, and Chris happy to see me awake, but my body becomes filled with fear by just seeing men. I start to panic and everyone looks at me confused. I point at them and Millie understands why I'm crying quickly. She walks them out of the room and I don't feel good at all.

 I doze back into a deep sleep, and I am suddenly sitting in a white room. 

  Looking around, it is completely empty where I am. I have no idea what's going on but, all of my pain and injuries are gone. I begin to cry, endlessly. I have no idea what came over Zane that night, but the trauma from it hurts, I just want it to stop. 

 "Karmaa? You shouldn't be here," a familiar voice speaks. 

"Troy? What are you... I don't even know what here is, Am I dead? Is this heaven or something?"

"Something like it, but no, you're not dead. You're giving up and I don't think you should be,"

"I'm tired..." I cry. 

"I know you are, you have been through enough, I get it. Think about what you'll be leaving behind though. When I was dying in that jail cell, my only thought was forgiving myself for what I did to you,"

 "It hurt when I found out what happened to you. You were a shitty person to a lot of people, but I wouldn't wish that on anyone, including you,"

"Karmaa...stop. I don't understand how you forgive me or even can stand the sight of me. I hurt you and tons of other girls,"

"You think it was easy Troy? I moved to Fiji and took myself off the grid. I alienated myself from my family and friends just to getaway. I had to take 2 years of therapy because every time I closed my eyes I saw you on top of me. It wasn't easy at all, but I didn't let it take over my life that I have worked for every day. But I have a question for you..."

"What is it?" he wonders.

"What would make you want to sexually assault and abuse innocent women?"

"I never talked about this with anyone... I owe it to tell you. When I was younger, my dad paid a woman he was dating once to take my virginity. She was twice my age, and not to mention, she did things like this for a living. She and her husband who orchestrated this business molested me and I was only 10 years old. When people hear a guy being molested, they ignore it. The lady wanted to sue my dad because she saw he was getting more money and he stopped paying her to have sex with me, so he beat me, day in and day out. I know it doesn't make what I did right, but-" he cries.

 "You thought it would help you get over the trauma..." I replied. 

 "I am so sorry for what I did to you Karmaa. You trusted me the most and I thought it was okay to spread the same abuse that happened to me, to you... and I'm so sorry,"

  When I see him cry, for once, I believe his words, and I needed this closure from him. It has been years since, but that kind of hurt will follow you for the rest of your life if you don't forgive and get the closure you need and deserve.

 "Thank you for this, I really needed this from you," I replied.

 "I know you did, and I'm thankful to deliver."

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