The Way I Am (DreamNotFound)

1

George uses they/them pronouns and calls themselves a boy cuz I didn't know enough about non-binary and I didn't want to make mistakes, but be free to say this book is about non-binary George!

Cover by: SxmplyMoxxi YEHEHEHEES, SHE'S AMAZING GUYS, give her credit!

just_Tabby and I came up with this, they are really amazing and talented, give them a follow if you want!

TW's:
-Bullying
-Anger issues
-Homophobia (f-slur)

George's POV

My life had been pretty weird since I was little. I was really young to figure out I was gay and that I was only going to like guys my whole life. I was actually twelve when I knew it for sure, I had always been attracted to only boys and not even a little to girls.

I used to play short stories and I have always played stories with a gay couple. I didn't even know what gay meant at that point, I just liked the idea of two boys together better.

When I was fifteen I came out to my parents and my sister. They replied really well and supported me no matter what. My parents had never been homophobic or whatever. They always accepted everyone the way they were, they didn't care about gender roles.

I got bullied in school for being a little different, I always got called homophobic slurs, even though I hadn't even came out in school yet. Apparently they saw me stare at some guys and just assumed I was gay.

A while back I was completely sick of it. I didn't want to be judged anymore, but I was always going to either way. If I was going to get judged when I wasn't even the real me, why not change to the real me and get judged. I changed to the person I wanted to be and my parents supported me a lot in that.

I started wearing black nail polish and sometimes silver and white. I didn't care anymore and my parents said they liked my nail polish and so did I. I started using the pronouns that fitted me, I liked being called they/them. My parents and sister respected this, in school they didn't, but I told them off as soon as they didn't respect it.

I was openly gay, I had a small rainbow badge on my bag, I dressed however I wanted to and I did whatever I wanted. I had one friend, we were really good friends, she always accepted me and we sometimes talked about boys together.

I sometimes hung out with them, if I did we just painted our nails together and we would laugh or discuss boys. All girls usually liked the same guys in the school. Clay was an example of that.

Clay was a hot guy I must admit, he was only a little weird. Since I got judged a lot, I didn't judge people anymore, it would probably have a reason. Clay could get really, but like really mad. He was kind of a bully too, actually. Not kind of. He was one of the worst bullies, but I just didn't believe he was really like this.

He had the worst anger issues I had ever seen someone have, he once punched his teacher, he hit walls, threw stuff through the classroom. He had beaten up some guys when he was mad, he swore and screamed at his teachers.

I had been in his class for three years now and since two years he completely changed. He didn't get expelled for anything he did, which made me think something happened in his life. I didn't care about the bullying at all anymore, it didn't hurt me, but Clay really didn't do any harm to me. Even though he had beaten me up once, I didn't care. I didn't judge people and I knew something wasn't okay in his life.

Today was such a day again. Clay got told off because he didn't make his homework as usual. He got mad, firstly he hit his table, secondly he threw his books through the classroom and after that he hit the wall three times in a row. He got sent away and he swore the crap out of our teacher.

I pitied him, something went so wrong in his life and I just wanted to help him. Even though he bullied me, even though he hurt me, even though he hated me for multiple reasons, the most common reason was that I was gay. Everyone bullied me mostly for being gay and wearing nail polish, but I didn't care at all.

I lifted my hand up and the teacher looked at me. 'Can I go to the toilet?'

He nodded and I stood up, walking outside the classroom. I saw Clay sitting on a bench and I nodded at him. He furiously wiped tears out of his eyes and looked at me.

'Why are you looking at me, faggot?'

'I was greeting you.'

'I don't want to have any form of contact with you, you're a faggot and you're gross with that stupid nail polish of yours.'

'Okay, thanks for the feedback!' I said confident and I walked to the toilet, but Clay got mad.

He stood up, pushing me against the wall. 'I HATE YOU.'

'I know, you've said that around one hundred times, but thanks for clarifying.'

Clay grabbed my shoulders and I saw him fighting against his tears. I really pitied him, he was so mad that he was shaking and he just couldn't stop himself.

'What went wrong in your life, Clay?'

He startled because of the sudden question and looked at me with hate in his eyes. 'Not your business, you faggot. I actually hate you.'

'I know, thanks for clarifying it again!'

'SHUT UP AND LEAVE.'

'To be fair, I would have left if you weren't pushing me against the wall.'

'I'm going to hit you and I actually will.'

'I know you will. You've done it before, I appreciate the fact you say it beforehand.'

'Just die, you faggot.'

'I guess faggot is my new name now.'

'Why are you this annoying?'

'I don't know actually, good question. I think I just have been born this way. I think I just don't care enough about hate around me anymore. I'm who I want to be, you can't say that.'

'I am who I want to be. I'm a straight guy who is not wearing that womanly nail polish.'

'Did you know that make up was firstly used by men back in the days?'

Clay pushed me away. 'Leave, faggot.'

'Okay! Have a nice day.'

1042 words