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Ghost.
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The Final Verdict:
Spelling and Grammar (5): 4.6
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15): 10
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc] (20): 20
Plot (30): 29.6
Fan Votes [should be the same for every judge] (10): 9.7
Judges Vote (20): 19.6
Total: 93.5
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Individual judges votes and comments
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Spelling and Grammar (5): 5
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15): 10
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc] (20): 20
Plot (30): 30
Fan Votes [should be the same for every judge] (10): 9.7
Judges Vote (20): 19
Total: 94
Additional Comments: Let me just say that I love where this story is headed already. The level of detail is just right; enough that we get a sense of where we are and what’s going on, without being over-observant and boring. I also love the idea of the AI type insuit character. It reminded me of Mass Effect’s Edi kinda, but was still original and a nice touch to really make things feel futuristic without you having to go all ‘everything is chrome, technology, hologramssss, flying shipsssss, aliens everrrrrywhere!’ Not that those are bad things, like it makes sense for most of them to pop up eventually, but I liked that you chose not to put them in the first chapter. A lot of futuristic stories try to beat you over the head with the fact that you’re in the future now, and I so appreciate that you didn’t do that here. The only ‘problem’ I have here is the same thing I’ve been whining about everywhere else, that there are only two characters and neither of them are KH/FF. Yes, obviously they are coming later, but when I pick up a KH/FF fanfic story, damnit I wanna see the KH/FF characters! xDDD
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Spelling and Grammar (5): 4.5
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15): 10
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc] (20): 20
Plot (30): 30
Fan Votes [should be the same for every judge] (10) 9.7
Judges Vote (20): 19.8
Total: 94
Additional Comments: This was amazing. I liked it so much, you don’t even know. >.< I’ve always been interested in futuristic sort of sci-fi things, and this sucked me in immediately. A part where you lost a couple tenths of a point was where you misspelled some things/used the wrong word, which is nothing major, but just requires a quick run-through to see what you might’ve rushed over. I’m excited to see how you continue this!
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Spelling and Grammar (5): 4.3
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15): 10
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc] (20): 20
Plot (30): 30
Fan Votes [should be the same for every judge] (10) 9.7
Judges Vote (20): 20
Total: 94
Additional Comments: I have no words for this. It was just too good. The writing was completely well done, the long paragraphs had no run-on sentences and didn’t make me skip them. Then, there was the explanation from Orion, which didn’t even feel awkward at all when explaining the events that got the reader there and who he was. I really enjoyed it, even though I’m not too into Sci-Fi stories, and though you made just a few mistakes in terms of spelling, they were still few, and the reader’s personality was even established. I just have nothing to say, I just can’t wait to see what’s going to happen next.
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Spelling and Grammar (5): 5
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15): 10
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc] (20): 20
Plot (30): 30
Fan Votes [should be the same for every judge] (10) 9.7
Judges Vote (20): 19.3
Total: 94
Additional Comments: How the hell am I supposed to critique something that’s just fucking fantastic?
You would think that with all those body paragraphs I would be getting bored as hell and skimming over them. But noooo, someone had to go and keep me engaged with things like emotional attachment and grammatically correct and perfect descriptions. You despicable cretin. I don’t even know what else to say besides that this was too fantastic. Normally Sci-Fi fics make me shy away and run for the hills but everything is super interesting. I’ve got some theories on what’s happening next, but I can’t wait for this to keep going, SO YOU JUST KEEP DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING.
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Spelling and Grammar (5): 4.
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15); 10.
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc] (20): 20.
Plot (30): 28.
Fan Votes [should be the same for every judge] (10) 9.7
Judges Vote (20): 20.
Total: 91.7.
Additional Comments: I noticed a few spelling mistakes, but when I say a few I really only mean one or two, so they aren’t a big deal! You got more points for story canon rather than character portrayals as we really only met one character which was [Name], but I feel as though her reactions to things such as getting the feeling of her legs back and the confusion and questions of the world around her were reasonable, helping you gain points. I’m excited to meet other characters though, and hopefully they are introduced soon. Plot wise, I am intrigued. I would like to figure out what is going on because I feel as though I am just as confused as the reader is at this point. xD I am looking forward to future chapters. ^.^
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ESTÀS LLEGINT
'Best KH/FF/Others Story' Competition Judgment Book
FanfictionWhere all results, feedback, comments, judges input, and scores will be posted. If you're in this competition, this book is your lifeline. It's how you can connect with the judges, the other writers, and the other stories.
