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Shinra Electric Power Company
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The Final Verdict
Spelling and Grammar (5): 3.3
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15): 9
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc] (20) 11.7
Plot (30) 12.2
Fan Votes [should be the same for every judge] (10) 9
Judges Vote (20) 10.8
Total: 56
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Individual Judges' Votes and Comments
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Spelling and Grammar (5): 3
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15): 10
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc] (20): 15
Plot (30):15
Fan Votes [should be the same for every judge] (10): 9
Judges Vote (20): 15
Total: 69
Additional Comments: So I really like the idea for the story and the character dynamics, but you just didn’t really give us very much to work with. It was just a short page that only really gave us a small glimpse that didn’t really show any kind of plot or drama. Like it was fun to read, but it didn’t really feel like there was anything at stake, like it was just a day in the life of _______ that was the same as all the days before it, and probably all the days after it, because you gave us nothing to indicate that something was going to change. One last thing, it’s okay to swear. You can censor it, but I’m still going to think the real word when I see it, so having something thrown in there like an ‘@’ sign only interrupts my thought process as I’m reading because I see something odd on the page.
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Spelling and Grammar (5): 3
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15):10
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc] (20): 13
Plot (30): 10
Fan Votes [should be the same for every judge] (10) 9
Judges Vote (20): 10
Total: 55
Additional Comments: You gave us nothing. Sorry to drop you right off the bat, but that’s the cold hard truth. Yeah, it’s a cute start. But the thing is, it really isn’t even a start. You didn’t move the story anywhere. You gave us a sneak peak of the character’s work life, and that was it. Also, Cloud’s portrayal was just… no. Cloud wouldn’t respond to someone whistling at him, much less obey that person without so much as a grunt of protest (or a “not interested,” because he said a lot of that in Advent Children). This was also very boring, in my opinion. I’m not really pumped for the next part or anything because you didn’t build anything up for us to want to see. Okay, and another thing was how you censored out the swear words. Either you let that shit fly, or don’t put it in there at all. There’s no in between, alright?
BẠN ĐANG ĐỌC
'Best KH/FF/Others Story' Competition Judgment Book
FanfictionWhere all results, feedback, comments, judges input, and scores will be posted. If you're in this competition, this book is your lifeline. It's how you can connect with the judges, the other writers, and the other stories.
