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✴ℴℎ, ℴℎ, ℴℎ, ⅈt's ℳαℊⅈc❣✴
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The Final Verdict:
Spelling and Grammar (5): 4
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15): 12.6
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc] (20): 15.3
Plot (30): 23
Fan Votes [should be the same for every judge] (10): 9
Judges Vote (20): 18.8
Total: 82.7
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Individual judges votes and comments
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Spelling and Grammar (5): 4
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15): 14
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc] (20): 15
Plot (30): 25
Fan Votes [should be the same for every judge] (10): 9
Judges Vote (20): 20
Total:87
Additional Comments: Seifer? NOT being a tool, picking fights, or bossing someone around? ...well, maybe a bit bossy still, but at least he’s not being a prick for once! Thank god, finally a portrayal of Seifer that doesn’t leave us feeling like he’s a tit. Anyway, I wish that you would use the names of who said what after each quotation mark. Sometimes--at least to me--it got a little hard to tell who was speaking when, like at first I thought it was ‘he’ (cuz you didn’t use a name until later) who was practicing, and didn’t figure it out until a few lines later. I also know that this is only chapter one, but I wish that it felt like there was more at stake for these characters. Like...people are being taken off the streets, being experimented on or even killed, yet these two both seem totally chill about everything. Still, I’m looking forward to seeing exactly what kind of story this turns into since you didn’t really clue us into whether or not it’s reader insert, told from Seifers perspective, Ultimecia’s, etc. It’s all very mysterious right now, and I want to see more!
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Spelling and Grammar (5): 4
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15): 14
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc] (20): 17
Plot (30): 25
Fan Votes [should be the same for every judge] (10): 9
Judges Vote (20): 20
Total: 89
Additional Comments: I like the idea of the reader being a kickass sorceress (who doesn’t really know how to control her powers, but that’s okay), I really do- but I didn’t really understand where you were going with the first part, which was less of a chapter and more of a longer version of the description. I docked off a point in Character Portrayals because we all know that canon Seifer is a dick. Let’s face it. But I do have a soft spot for him, and I’m glad that you didn’t make his character in your story a total ass.
In the dialogue, I was a bit confused as to who was speaking when. You didn’t clue us in more often than not, and it got a little cluttered and hard to understand. I almost thought that it was Seifer doing the whole “nOPE THIS TIME I GOT IT” thing, but then I read through it again and saw that it was actually [Name].
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'Best KH/FF/Others Story' Competition Judgment Book
FanfictionWhere all results, feedback, comments, judges input, and scores will be posted. If you're in this competition, this book is your lifeline. It's how you can connect with the judges, the other writers, and the other stories.
