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Jack of All Trades
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Final Verdict
Spelling and Grammar (5): 4.7
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15): 13.3
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc.] (20): 14.7
Plot (30): 26.3
Fan Votes (10): 10
Judges Vote (20): 18.3
Total: 87.3
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Spelling and Grammar (5): 4.5
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15): 13
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc.] (20): 12
Plot (30): 28
Fan Votes (10): 10
Judges Vote (20): 18
Total: 85.3
Additional Comments: I still like where this is going. The chapter gave enough to keep me interested and make me look forward to the next chapter. However, I will admit that I didn't like the pace of this one. I found it to be really, really slow. Maybe you made that choice to still give it that rural, traveling feel, but it kind of got old fast. So my only real suggestion for you this round is to make sure you keep that pace at a level that keeps things interesting. I'm not saying you need action, and explosions, or anything like that, but try not drag it along. Keep up the hard work though!
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Spelling and Grammar (5): 4.5
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15): 14
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc.] (20): 17
Plot (30): 26
Fan Votes (10): 10
Judges Vote (20): 20
Total: 91.5
Additional Comments: Welp.
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Spelling and Grammar (5): 5
Character Portrayals and Story Canon (15): 13
Writing [Dialogue, description, etc.] (20): 15
Plot (30): 25
Fan Votes (10): 10
Judges Vote (20): 17
Total: 85
Additional Comments: So...real talk, I don't really know how I feel about this story. It's well written, has great spelling and grammar, the character seems well rounded, and Boko...well, Boko is a bonus in herself...but there's just something about the pacing and the setting that I find really...(and I don't mean to sound harsh) boring. Like it's almost too rustic and calm. Until the other characters were introduced, to me, it felt like it was progressing really slowly, like we were going to be spending the entire chapter just sitting there on a grassy hill in the sun eating a sammich the whole time. I got this sense in the first chapter too, but I was kinda hoping that this feeling of a lazy afternoon in the country would go away a bit as she got out onto her adventure (which, granted, it did towards the end). It's relaxing, I'll give you that, but like...I don't always want to be super relaxed when I'm reading. The action in this chapter was alright, like it made up for the slow start, but at the end of the day--until that helicopter showed up--it was still kinda like...farm drama.
Now, you may be wondering why I'm bitching so much whenever I gave you a pretty good score, and that's because I really do like and am interested in where this story is going. I'm just saying all this with the hopes that you will try to improve on some of the slow dragging elements of the pace in the next chapter, because that's really the only thing that I've got to say about this story that's negative. I know it sucks a little that I'm only saying negative things to you, but that's just because I'm trying to give criticism for where I think there's room for improvement. I don't think you need me to hold your hand and tell you explicitly everything that I loved and point out all the good things because you probably already know that, and know that you need criticism for next time more than praise about how good it is. If you want that, just look at your comment section. xD
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'Best KH/FF/Others Story' Competition Judgment Book
FanfictionWhere all results, feedback, comments, judges input, and scores will be posted. If you're in this competition, this book is your lifeline. It's how you can connect with the judges, the other writers, and the other stories.
