10th November 2020
Today is the day after my final reharsals on the award show season performances. This ranged from MAMA to MMA to the new years performances.but I woke up with immense muscle pain(as mentioned in the last chapter). My back muscles were tensed, my legs were in pain with each movement. But more importantly, my stomach was in utter agony. I could feel each muscle cell scream in pain as I attempte to move. I woke up on the sofa at around 4am , after two hours of sleeping. My managers were minutes away from arrival , before they were to drive me to the set of my first shoot; but I called yoona and told her to send medics over asap.the medics arrived in time with my managers but when I asked lone (my security manager for home and hotel) to open the door she was confused as she had just woken up. My managers and medics came in and saw me , practically paralysed on the sofa.
Head medic: what happened?
I explained and they brought a masseuse out. The masseuse is the same one who was with me on tour for the past few years and she did her regular routine and my back and legs calmed down a bit. But my stomach....i got up and winced in pain from the constant stinging in my stomach.
Yoona came in as I was getting up. She came over to me and held my hand and shoulder , helping me stay up.
Yoona: she cant record , can she?
The head medic and masseuse began explaining how I had just overused my body for too long and that I needed rest before continuing.
Me: unnie , lets do it. I cant mess up my schedule and with the rising cases it will be harder to record as time goes on.
They went quiet.
Yoona: eunha , no , diamond...I am speaking to you as an elder when I say this...but you need to stop and rest.you might literally ruin your muscles for a long time if you record today and we cant force you into doing that at all.
Me: I know , but it messes with everyones lives and schedule and I cant do that, especially not with corona adding to the situation. We all know that the shooting sites are unable to be rented out at any other date...we kind of have to do it. I will be fine.get the cars ready and yoona unnie , please get me my small suitcase , it's a black ted baker one upstairs...carry on size...you know the 'emergency bag'. I cant go and get changed but it will help with the next day or so.
Yoona: she wont listen to any of us no matter what we say , so get ready I guess.
I walked towards the door and grabbed a mask and hat. I hid my face , I literally just woke up and you could tell.yoona helped me into my car and I was driven off to the first location.i sat through hair and makeup, after I did my basic morning routine in a tent and I shot the first video. We had fifteen takes and I had thirty dancers behind me , each exhausted and cold. My lips went blue halfway throughout recording and they had to change the planned makeup look and put on a bright red shade from dior (shade 999) just to hide the blue. My nails went blue too , but in the middle of hair and makeup they noticed and painted it cream pink. We shot it about fifteen times before they called for a break and I just collapsed , I couldn't hold myself up anymore. The behind the scenes cameras that were filming me caught it and I just lay on the concrete floor of the pavement near the han river , grabbing my stomach in an attempt to calm myself.
I was helped up and I was taken to a tent for the masseuse to deal with my muscles again.it got a bit better and I put on muscle pain relief patches everywhere, after that I stretched and had my hair and makeup touched up. I didn't talk much, it took up too much of my energy.yoona left after a bit because she had a meeting and I was alone L...but its fine Im vibing...in pain.
Once the final shoot was approved , it was almost midday and I was driven to the next site. It was a recording studio and I was filming over three performances here. I couldn't even begin to explain how much I hated being there. Aside from the obvious , I was filmed constantly and I didn't like showing my weakness.the performances went well , in some shots but it was when I overused my streght and body. When I got my breaks I was informed that the nearby studio had maya in it and she was recording something.i didn't mind , but their staff would constantly bump into our staff and like seriously? They have two other entrances , you could literally avoid us , especially with corona going on...but they didn't.so I told all staff members to use the other entrances for outstudio and avoid using the corridor. The understood and accepted.
Things took a drastic turn for the worse when I saw that idiot. Harry. So basically , I was shooting the photos for the thumbnails and the end of year series , right. We had practically finished and everyone was packing up , it was nearly midnight.then , as I am putting my coat on whilst talking to the 'diamond diaries ' camera , my youtube chanel. Then as I am saying the 'final words' I see harry walk in with his friend looking for someone. He notices me , obviously , I mean I am literally being filmed by five different cameras and my mood changed. Drastically , everyone could tell. I was smiling and then I saw him and my mind and body just went numb. I didn't even hesitate to end the video sooner.staff realised too and they went up to him to ask why he was here and where he was going. They guided him out , but I was staring at him as he stared at me. He wasn't even WEARING HIS MASK!!! This bitch had his mask under his nose.
The camera cut and two staff members came to help me stand up but holding me up.
I walked up to him as he crossed over the studio and he stopped in his tracks. He stood with his friend right next to the table that held my stuff. I grabbed my bag and looked up at him.
Me: put your mask on right , you look stupid. I cant believe I dated a guy who wears his mask under his nose...how humiliating.
His eyes widened in shock and his friend cracked up laughing at what I said.me and my staff left after that.
As we were about to leave , security guards came up to me and informed me that my location was leaked.i just gave up.today is not my day.
The doors opened and I put my hat on. There were fansites and fans here. Guards held them back and I looked down as I was helped walking towards the car.
It is not a good look. 'diamond in pain , cant walk'...'diamond physically unable' 'is diamond okay'. The problem didn't end there , there was at least two hundred peope here. Most of them had masks on , but it was far too many people within one location.
Not only that , but as I was half way towards the car , a few fans broke loose from securities control and the ran towards me. I looked down and closed my eyes as guards held them back from me.they were less than a metre away from me and one fan reached her hand out and grabbe my hair and pulled it. bitch if there was no one else here I would deadass send you to your grave, that hurt...a lot. She screamed " I HAVE HER HAIIIIIRRR".
By then it was just too much and one of my guards grabbed my waist from behind , with three guards holding me up I was transported to the car. They helped me in and locked the door behind me. I fell back into the chair and turned my phone off. I cant deal with this right now. I cant even be bothered.
I arrived home and was helped into my room , I took a shower and came out before one of my managers helped dry my hair because I couldn't raise my arm too much. I fell asleep in the vanity chair and she woke me up once my hair was dried.
I thanked her and ordered food in for the staff that were still with me.there were about trhee of us and some left before the food arrived because they had previous plans.
I turned my phone on and saw that the PR team had left me messages. I answered them and told them what to do in response to what could happen in the next few days. I turned it off again after that.
When the food arrived my managers and staff ate with me and I felt much better by then. i spoke to them on what should be done in regards for tomorrows shoots. i have a few hours to sleep and then i am going to three sets and then sleeping on the way to the last set.
11th November 2020
my body was not in a better condition that the day before. i managed to get to the three sets and film quickly for them each as my makeup and hair didn't vary much. but the last set was a mess. we were at a ice skating rink and my ice skates needed to be sharpened and my hair needed to be re done.
i fell asleep at my chair until i was woken up to get warm and go on the ice. i stretched my legs and arms and did a few laps on the ice.i practised the first video with the cameras twice before getting a touch up of makeup and filming the official thing.
the dress i wore was from channels haute cotoure collection that was recently revealed and i managed to get the dress ordered made and shipped in time for this performance. it literally arrived this morning.
i filmed the first video which is the black swan video. once i finished it i skated over to my stylists to get out of the dress and get ready for the next video.
the 'diamond diaries' camera came up to me as i was talking to the stylist and choreogropher
me: skating in that is impossible. i want to do the dance right , but i dont want to ruin the dress either. so i am stuck in between the performance and fashion.
skating choreographer: the next filming is even harder though.
me: yeah and i am just meeting my partner today too. so ... it will either be amazing or a failure.
head stylist: well your outfit is relatively more wearable and so are the moves for that video.
me: i guess so , but i am just worried , because you know what we are doing with that dress right? yeah so i dont want it ruined in any way possible.
there was a knock on the door and a few people came in , i saw a guy holding a skating bag and i went to greet him.
me: hello , i am eunha , or diamond to most people. nice to meet you.
changdong: hello i am kim chang dong , i am the partner for todays video.
yoona: there was an issue with parking because of all the vans outside which is why we are a bit late , sorry about that. eunha this is changdong , he is a ice skater and is 17 years old. he just finished school so we picked him up from there and his parents will be arriving soon.changdon this is diamond , she is well...to be honest i introduced you in the car and you both know about this , have know for a few weeks now. so , lets not waste anytime. changdong , your changing room and staff are in the room next door and david will take you there i will come speak to you about todays itinerary in a minute i just need to catch up with diamond about something real quick.
the cameras followed him into the other room as yoona pulled me to the corner.
yoona: talk to him later but for now get a massage and replace the muscle relief patches. the thing that happened yesterday is being pulled out of context and now there is a lot of anger around it from netizens.more towards you , surprisingly.
me: oh for fucks sake
yoona: we are having an emergency meeting tonight with the heads of departments. midnight. i will be at yours with you.for now focus on this.
i nodded and followed her to go greet changdong. i went in and saw him warming up with the choreographer.i greeted all the staff in the room and noticed the cameras were filming us. i went up to him and our skating choreographer
me: hello , i feel like i can properly introduce myself this time hahaha. i am diamond. you can call me eunha or whatever you like i dont really mind. so far i have practised with the coach on the moves and with a stand - in skater. but of course you are the chosen skater for today, the official thing. as already explained to you , i assume. we will practise it five times , then twice in outfit and once with the camera and then the final filming.so 8 practises in total basically.
yoona: but you guys are to rehearse for a long time before we do the official '8 practises'.
me: but i am not a skater. i did ice skating for three years before i quit and its been a year , so i have only been trained to do this for a month. i am not perfect yet because , i am not a skater so i will probably mess up and fall a lot , but i will get there
choreographer: she has worked a lot , too much if anything. but she will get a massage because she has a lot of muscle pain and then she will join you on the rink.
20 minutes passed and i joined changdong on the rink. with a massage and new muscle relief patches on me , i went on the ice and we began doing some of the moves.
he was confident but quiet and i was awkward and loud. it didnt make sense , but we had a weird dynamic. the dance begins off with contact straightaway and i was just awkward.
choreographer: you guys can touch each other its fine hahaha
i awkwardly laughed before the music began and we started.we went through it and it was okay , but no where near perfect. i stumbled a lot and even fell once , but i got up and carried on. my moves were easier than his. but the lifts were hard , he managed easily but i found them really hard to do and sometimes we would fail on the moves.i was at fault.
we practised again and again and again and after the third try , we took a break.we were both exhausted . we went back on the ice , we still hadn't had a proper conversation yet , but we were dancing once again. on the life were i stand on his thighs and lean backwards (2.40). i slipped from his grasp and smashed against the floor.
my back hit the floor first and then my head. i just sat there for a bit as everything went quiet.i got up and stood for a bit as my hearing came back.
changdong: are you okay?
me: yeah yeah im fine dont worry.lets do it again. from the top.
one final practise before we began the '8 practise'
we did the five official practises and went to get changed.
he wore a tom ford trousers and a turtleneck and we went back on the ice.we did two dress rehearsals and two camera practises before we filmed the final thing
once we filmed the final thing all the staff members clapped and began to pack away all the equipment we had out .
i fell to the floor and lay there for a bit just trying to come to reality that i still have to film more performances in a few weeks.the ice began to wet the outfit i was wearing and changdong told me that they wanted to ask a few questions for the cameras.
i got up off the ice and skated to the side lines with him and greeted the cameras
cameraman: we are just going to ask a few questions and you guys can answer them for the 'diamond diaries'. one , how was it working with each other?
me: it was nice to work with a skating professional. i just felt bad all the time because you could tell i am not as good as him hahaha.
changdong: ah , dont worry you did really well. but i heard you did ballet for a few years and roller blading as a child. so you were set up well for this.
me: oh how do you know that? yeah i did roller blading from two years old to four years old and i did ballet from a very early age until i stopped for my debut. then i did ice skating for three years until i stopped last year. but i am really bad at ice skating , i just had to learn that chores off by heart for a month so that's all i can do .
changdong: my friend is a big fan of you and when i told him i was going to meet you today he didnt believe me.i asked him if you learnt ice skating as a child and he basically told me your entire life story.
me: ah , i see hahaha. i will give you a signed album to give to him. he will believe you then.
cameraman: question two , was it awkward to film the skating despite meeting each other today?
changdong: a bit , but we got more comfortable by the end.right?
me: ah yeah i agree. ice skating is a very hard sport. the hardest i have done. but the thing is , with couple dancing , you need to have a lot of trust. but we met each other today , twenty minutes before we got on the ice.during that twenty minutes we only saw each other for two minutes and then we only introduced each other.so it was a bit awkward when we began and you are meant to lift me and we are meant to get close to each other.
changdong: yeah , that was awkward , but we managed to do it. in three hours too.record timing.
me: yeah , if its not good i am sorry , i really tried.but i am not a profession skater , so the moments of me wobbling in the official thing ...sorry. at least i am not dead hahaha. but when they release the behind the scenes videos in diamond diaries and the year end film ....ohhh... it will just be a compilation of me falling and falling and falling back to back whilst you look like you are one with the ice hahaha.
changdong: dont worry, you did really well today.
cameraman: three , do you wish to explore more into ice skating after this or not?
me: ah , so basically every year i try to promote different forms of art. i tend to do ballet or contemporary or new musical genres or dance styles...but this year i switched up to ice skating. although ice skating is fortunately really popular here because of miss Yuna Kim , i still wanted to use my position to promote it to those who are not aware across our borders. i did the solo black swan performance as my favourite song of this year. black swan was a genuine work of art and the way it just...the way it just captures my breath and heart and gives me physical pain because i can't begin o describe how utterly amazing it , i choose that as a song to dance to aside from my songs. then i choose between ballet , which i have already done , and ice skating. the partner dance , with the legendary sam smith song was out of honour to the original dancers. we used their moves and ability to dictate this dance. i remember when i saw the original video i just played it non stop for a week and with the idea of ice skating it was the first thing brought to mind. so we used that and i have spoken to the original skaters and their team and they are amazing, i really wish them the best for the future. as for me...next year i am not sure yet
changdong:well , i have done ice skating since a young age and will continue to do so for another few years i think.but, if you do it again please pick me as your partner , i enjoyed working with you and your team very much.
me: ah hahah , i will do , i promise. i dont know though. nothing is set in stone , right? especially with corona changing the world every second. gems , he is a professional skater and he has done loads of competitions , please support him in his work too.
cameraman: closing statement please.
changdong: should i ?
i nod
changdong: thank you very much for giving me this opportunity , it was an honour to work with you and your team. i hope your fans enjoy both of the performance. thank you and stay safe
me: umm , gems i really hoped you liked the performances. this one was harder than the black swan performance but both were equally as amazing. i am glad to have had Mr changdong professionalism outweighs my incapability , so when watching please focus on him and not me hahaha.i hope you guys thoroughly enjoyed it. thank you.also , wear your masks please and stay safe.
we walked towards the green rooms.
me: that was the most we have talked this entire three hours to be honest.
yoona came up to me and pulled me into my room as i changed back into my normal clothes and took off all the makeup and extra stuff.
i grabbed my bags and was texting people on my phone.
yoona: we brought a wheelchair because we know the muscle pain is hurting you. sit down and wrap yourself up with the blankets.
i thanked her and sat in the wheelchair.i sank into the chair and covered myself in the blanket that david gave me. we began to leave and as we went down the corridor , changdong and his parents bumped into us. i struggle to get up off the chair. i stood and bowed to them.
me: hello , you must be his parents. its nice to meet you i am diamond.
the greeted me and changdong focused on the wheelchair.
changdong: why do you have a wheelchair?
me: ah well -
david: she has had constant rehearsals for two months and non stop rehearsals for two days before these two days of continuous filming.this is aside from her other schedules.diamond woke up with intense muscle pain two days ago, massages and muscle pain relief patches dont help much either. this is her last physical schedule until tomorrow after noon so we need her body to rehabilitate as soon as possible so we are ensuring she doesn't do much outside of the shoots.
changdong's dad: ah i see , sit down then please. i dont want to make your pain worse.
me: its fine thank you. honestly we are going to a restaurant right now and i would love to invite you three to it. if you are free?
the agreed and the drove behind the company car to my house.when we arrived , we were taken into the private room and we sat down. i sat in between yoona and changdong. opposite me was changdongs father who sat in between david and his wife.we began talking about ice skating and the sports like it.
yoona: changdong is very good at ice skating and his is very polite , you raised him well.
me: to be honest he was doing all the ice skating i was just being thrown around and following his moves hahaha.
by the time we finished our food yoona was in a deep conversation with changdongs parents and changdong asked for my number. i hesitated.
me: i dont really use my number much. but you can follow my private instagram.
changdong: you have a private instagram?
me: yeah , i do hahaha. whenever i meet people and i get on well with them i follow them on there.i only post on my public one , but i sue this account to keep in contact with people that i know and like.
i gave it to him and accepted the follow request.
changdong: woooazah , you have over a million requests!!
me: some sasaengs leaked to fans that this could be my private account hahaha. so it will only get more requests once people see the performance and find your instagram account.
yoona: we need to leave now , we have a meeting to get to.
david came back from using my card to pay and we left after that.
once i got home , i turned off all the cameras and recording devices in my room and i began the meeting.
me: i dont know how to respond to the scandal. people are angry at me for being attacked and having over two hundred fans there...but the think is we never leaked it, so...what are we meant to do.
head of PR: dispatch emailed us and notified us that they are looking into the timeline of events, i dont know why they decided to get involved but we may swell let them do the work i guess.
yoona: well , the hatred is dying down and it is not as bad as the 97 club scandal.so , i dont think we need to do much other than to issue an apology.
we ended the meeting soon after that and then i went downstairs to find my accountants and lawyers there.
me: ah hello , its great to see you all , sorry for how late it is i was extremely busy today.
the followed me up to my office and sat around the meeting table.
head lawyer: we have formalised each payment and it has been sent. we have tried everything in our power to prevent it being publicly announced.
head accountant: to summarise the details of the past few months. there was the money that was sent to BLM and the tour crews.but this past month has shown one million British sterling pound used to provide masks to the elderly and poor in seoul and busan. an additional one million British sterling pound has been distributed to key hospital across the country to deal with the lack of equipment.the list in front of you shows the confirmation from each hospital. One million British sterling pound has also been distributed to all tour crew members from across the world who were meant to be on your tour in order to help them with the pandemics effects. five hundred thousand British sterling pound has been sent to two art museums in seoul as a donation. five hundred thousand British sterling pound has also been sent to specific independent fashion designers world wide as a donation.their confirmations are all in that folder that we have handed to you.
head lawyer: to conclude , this month you have sent over 4 million British sterling pound in charity to others.this is all under your new charity, " Diamond Donations".
me: thats good , i just hope it is not exposed to the public.
head lawyer: we have worked with your accountants in great sport to ensure the smooth transition of each donation.the taxation on each payment has been paid in full too and we worked well with government official on that too. those two folders show how each payment has been given to each receiver and the receipt of it.
me: i see , thank you so much for your hard work. i have emailed the next charities i want to work with next month , i hope you have began looking into them. i want to know if any of them are tied up in corruption or white collar crimes or tax evasions or money laundering. send each detail to me , no hesitation at all. i will see you guys in two weeks for the finalisation of December's donations
they left after that and i was flicking through the folders to ensure everything was done right.
i went downstairs after that and saw yoona and david talking on the sofa with lone opposite them.
me: is everything okay?
yoona: yeah , we are just finalising the wedding dress.
me: ah i see, send it to me soon because i need to actually get the dress made.
i got my phone out and looked at all the dresses i had sent her and got her to choose between, she liked these herself and are a shortlist of over one hundred dresses.
me: i mean , i already know which one i would pick out of these , but it really is up to you and david.
yoona: i am so glad i got you to find the dresses for me because i could have never picked them out or found them.
david: we have chosen one. take a guess
me: the paolo sebasitian dresses hopefully and one of the sleeveless ones...right?
she nodded.
yoona: i will send the picture to you now and i dont' know where we go from here.
me: i am so glad you picked that one, i will contact their teaming get them to make one for you size and they will send it in. they have seamstresses here , where you will visit them in the next week to take your measurements and once they send it in by february , if it is wrongly fit in some parts , the seamstresses here will fix it.
david: what about my suits?
me: they are already being made , i sent it all to you last week...are you guys staying? or going home?
david: we need to go home , my parents are coming tomorrow morning.oh , they said they wanted to see you too in the afternoon.
me: tommorow is my day off right? only working at home and doing school work?
yoona: yeah , i sent your timetable. also they are going send the performance videos.
12th november 2020
i never went to sleep last night. i spent all night doing all the essays i had due in forms teachers. i was filmed, as part of the reality show.but i spent half the time trying not to fall asleep or crying. it was kind of embarrassing but whatever. right now it is 9am and i am trying to catch up on all the classwork i need to know. i am behind and i haven't even begun revision....all my classmates have though.
I took a walk around my room and decided to get changed in order to pass the time
once it reached midday i opened the curtains in my room and i almost melted from the sunlight i swear to god.snow was not leaving me and was constantly at my feet so i played with her for an hour or so and then i decided to take her on a walk around the area.it was a brief twenty minute walk and she was off her leash. by the time i retrained i saw yoona and david inside the house with Lone (head of security for home and hotel).
as i entered the living room and took off my mask i saw davids parents. i greeted them with a bow and took them into the living room.
me: sorry i didn't know when you be coming in , i haven't looked at my phone since last night.
david's father: no don't worry we just got here too. we haven't seen you in ages , how is everything.
me: [chuckle] great i guess , i mean we had the IPO and the billboard wins and all the comebacks...now we are just waiting for the grammy nominations.
david's mother: well , we are all so proud of you and your staff. its a big thing. your parents say hi too.
me: i see , well i will contact them later today when i have time.
david's father: how are your family? everything well?
me: my extended family? my paternal grandmother got corona, then never told her though even though she ended up in hospital on life support. so when i got bribed to talk to her , i said " hey i heard you recovered from corona". i was the one who broke it to her and mind you , this is after three to four years of not talking to her...so she was angry with everyone after that because no one told her... then my great aunt for corona and she already have heart and back problems and basically i dont know how they are alive but i am grateful...other extended family members that my parents know of are dying though , like dominos one by one every week i get good of a new person , but none of the deaths are from corona.so, lets just wish for the best i guess.
the looked shocked at my mini breakdown.
me:[chuckle] but they are fine , everything is good....have you seen the wedding dress?
yoona: ah yes , the dress , i showed them and they liked it a lot.
as they spoke to yoona about the dress i excused myself to go and get them tea.i came back and found them talking about brexit.
david's father: but eunha , you are the one who is the best at politics , what do you think?...is brexit good or not?
me: i have read and had enough thoughts about brexit in the past four years , i quit . i can't even begin to describe how i feel about politics anymore.
i looked up at the cameras on the tables and walls and looked at yoona , she understood and changed the topic.twenty minutes went by and they finished their tea and fruit. they left shortly after that and were on their way to see the head of my parents company , the korean representatives. its part of some deal with their company, i dont know much and i dont really care either..
once they left i did some work for the office , mostly reading over contracts and briefings. once it got to 5pm i was on the phone with jimin talking about a few songs he was recording.
me: ah yeah , it sounds great , but if you wanted to you could come to my house to record it because the recordings studios in the office are being used this week.
jimin: I'm only free after 9 , so if you were free , i might come in the time frame.
i heard voices in the background
me: who was that?
jimin: taehyung said he wanted to come with me so he could talk to you about his album.
me: yeah sure , i dont mind who comes.but if taehyung is coming he needs to bring tan with him otherwise i won't let him in.
taehyung: [shouting from behind jimmies phone] I WILL I PROMISE.
at 9:15 i put away my files and heard the doorbell ring. jimin taehyung and jin came in . i greeted their managers in the background who were dropping them off.
jimin: hey , are you alone?
me:hey , no , my housemate and guard is in her room but she is currently doing something so i dont think we will see her.guys there is hand sanitiser there and go straight and wash your hands and leave your face masks on the hooks on the wall by the door.slippers are there for you guys too.
jin: we brought ice cream and snacks for you.
me: thank you so much. go on the third floor , i left the studio unlocked and open. snow is in the kitchen drinking water right now i think. i will desanitise the snacks and bring them up with me.
jimin: i will help you , but are those the cameras for the reality show?
me: ah , yeah they are .do you want me to turn any of the off?
Taehyung: no it's fine , do we wear microphones though?
Me: no the ones on the cameras pick up noises themselves
We went into the kitchen and I sanitised the snacks and got cups .as I handed them to jimin and taehyung to take upstairs , they noticed the muscle pain relief patches in the bin.
Jimin: did you get hurt?
Jin: eunha? Why?
Taehyung: There are packets full of muscle pain relief patches in the bin.
Me: uh, let's go upstairs for now .you guys use the lift whilst I get snow and tan snacks
I trembled as I held the fruit bowls in my hand , jin took them from me
Jin: we will hold the things , you just guide snow and tan upstairs with you.
Me: ah , okay .snow! Tan!
They ran to my feet and I handed them dog snacks.
I went up to the lift and saw it coming back down from taking the three upstairs
I got in , helped them in and pressed the third floor.
I went up and went into the studio.
Jimin and taehyung were sitting on the sofa of the studio and talking about the songs
Jin was rearranging the equipment
Me: it's been so long since I have been in here .all I do now a days is school work rehearsals and shoots.
Jin: is that why the muscle patches were in the bin?
Me: ah that...you know how I suppressed the shooting time to make most of them within these two days?
Jimin: yeah you spoke about it at the corona meeting
Me : yeah so , the day before I had rehearsals all day and for the last two months I have had intense rehearsals and taekwondo training too.so when I woke up two days ago...I couldnt move at all
Taehyung : at all?
Jimin : but I never heard anything about you cancelling your schedules?
Me: yeah I just got annoyed at myself and did them anyway .the second was harder though because I have that surprise performance
Taehyung: is the surprise performance like ballet or something ? You shouldn't have done that it's hurting yourself
Me: I mean I kind of had to -
Jin: eunha you always overuse your abilities , take care of yourself more often .but what's done is done ...right? How are you know ?
Me: I guess so.now? Well i have been sitting for the past day , literally just at my desk writing so I have been resting in my own way.I feel the same , it hurts to move but it's manageable .
Taehyung : come sit down , we will help you with everything until we have to leave
I smiled but shook my head.I picked snow up off my feet and handed her to jimin .
Me: let's hear the song first. Jimin hyung can you look after her for a bit .
Jin: but will the cameras hear the songs?
Me: the cameras in the recording booth won't so we will only sing and listen to it in there.also I will disconnect the microphone from the cameras and you guys can use the hand held microphones instead.I think they are in my room , let me go get them.
I left the studio and got four microphones from my room.I went back and gave them each one .jimin and Jin wore them whilst me and taehyung went into the recording booth and talked about the songs
I helped him for about two hours and then I helped Jin for an hour and then jimin for an hour .
Once I was done with Jin , he went home because he had a fitting early in the morning .jimin and taehyung stayed
I helped taehyung for another hour on rearranging some music and vocals in his songs . Once we finished that we sat down.they sat on the sofa and I sat opposite then on a chair.
I played with tan and jimin played with snow . Taehyung was on his phone smiling , he showed us his Weverse page
Me: I never see you so happy apart from when you interact with fans
Taehyung : same can be said about you
Me : what are you guys doing for Christmas?
Jimin: SBS Gayo , so do you
Me: yeah but I meant in terms of celebration
Taehyung : probably with the members or with family. I don't know yet
Me: New Years ?
Jimin: New Years performances ?!
Me: celebrations I mean
Jimin: I have plans with the members and my family .but we will see how corona ruins it until then
I laughed at him
Jimin : what about you?
Me: I don't know yet
Jimin: there is still a month left
I got my phone out and began scrolling through Instagram
Me: what's this?
I rolled my eyes and closed the app
Taehyung : what's wrong?
Me: it was an edit shipping me and this other person .I hate those so much , you don't even understand
Jimin : who was it with?
Me : exactly! There are so many ships at this point I don't even know which one people believe in most .it's kind of annoying because you know those people in real life and your friends I'm with them too...so when you see each other and are reminded that a large group of people want you two to be doing other things it makes you both so uncomfortable.
Taehyung ; I learnt to ignore them , I hate them too don't worry
Me: but also , if it's with someone you don't get along with ...that just aggravates you even more
Jimin : I know who you are talking about hahaha
Me : [laughs] I look at some of them and are reminded of how lonely I am .I want a boyfriend , but I can't be bothered for dating and no one likes me either .so another year alone I guess
Jimin : you are never alone , don't worry about dating or men .it's not worth it , love yourself before loving anyone else
Me: [laughs ] well neither are happening so I will just sleep and eat through each holiday
I looked at my phone and saw it was 1am
Taehyung: seriously though, don't feel as though you are alone because you are not dating someone .it's not worth it and focus on yourself first .I know this year has been bad , it will get better .
Me: thank you for the advice . But it's almost 2am now and I don't think you guys should loose anymore sleep
The left shortly after that and they took tan with them
13-15th November
I had been working from home and at the office too .my day typically went from fittings and interviews (7am -12pm).then I would have meetings and briefings (12-5pm).from then on I had rehearsals or shoots (5pm- 9pm).
After 9 I might have met friends up until 10:30 and I would be home by 11.
On the 13th I didn't meet anyone but I was on the phone with seulgi from red velvet for an hour whilst I was at home .
On the 14th I met irene Kim , the model .most people know her as her Instagram username "ireneisgood ".she came by with a large bag of gifts .we hung out for half an hour and ordered cake and coffee to my house.she gave me loads of jumpers and a coat from her brand and rewrote the writing on it from "ireneisgood" to "diamondisgood".I gave her a gift too.a bag and a pair of shoes.
On the 15 I was at home just catching up on schoolwork and crying through it
16th November 2020
I was as home by 10 today because the recording of one of my New Years performances over a bit .but I was at home reading through the reactions to the first two episodes of the reality show
I was still being filmed but it would end soon .
One episode showed me over the duration of two weeks coming in and leaving and constantly rushing to get things done .it mostly showed how I would work at home too sometimes and how my sleeping schedule was fucked up.it also showed me doing school work and being at the studio and home office
The other episode showed me over the course of another two weeks and how I would spend my free time .from drawing to TikTok and Instagram , it showed how when I was alone , I was literally not do anything productive .
As I was scroling through the reactions I saw a gif had gone viral .
I was lying down on the sofa with rose lemonade in my hand and I was scrolling through TikTok . I stop the video and say "I have so much homework and essays to do" before continuing the video.
It was replayed a lot and began to be spread around .a few of my friends sent it to me too .
17th November 2020
Today I had a meeting with a comeant that was going to sponsor me but we were deciding on how much I would be paid for the course of a years sponsorship . We finalised the deal and closed it .
I was to be paid £30 million (british Sterling pound) for the one year .I would only get to keep £5 million and the rest of the money went to my employees and the company .on top of that they sponsor was to cover all costs .I was to be sponsored by Starbucks Korea for on year
Before going to sleep I posted a picture of my with a coffee Frappuccino from Starbucks.
17-19th November 2020
Same usual work day but I had more fittings and recordings to do because of the new sponsor
All I could think about was the Grammy nominations coming up