----------------------------------------------Alright, part 3. God, you guys are the best. Thank you to @Hufflegay27 for the suggestion- please leave requests on my conversation page- without them I'm lost. I mean I have a vague plan for the next two chapters and I have one request, but after that I have nothing but my own mind. K. Let's do this.----------------------------------------------
Techno's POV(italics)
Recap: Part 1: Techno goes to a party, has a panic attack and falls unconscious, Wilbur helps him.
Part 2: SBI discuss Techno's coping mechanisms
Part 3:
Things had become a bit better around the place. I've started settling into a schedule (One which Phil practically forced upon me) and my mental health is doing a bit better.
There were, of course, off days and good days- As is the case with almost anything. Today...Was an off day.
I just didn't know it.
The day had started as usual; Tommy was being the annoying child he was, burst into my room and woke me up, I got up, had a shower and ate.
So, pretty normal.
Looking over it...It wasn't until about midday that I started feeling pretty bad.
Things that I've learnt to ignore like the rips in the wallpaper, the cracks in the paint and small, almost unnoticeable things began to bother me.
But I always tried to ignore them and sped on my way. Then the other things got to me.
All my senses decided to go on overdrive, gradually, til' it got to the point where everything was just jumping out at me, and I couldn't handle it.
So, I turned to my own, private world: Minecraft.
I was losing at Minecraft.
After 5 deaths, I couldn't stop my brain from yelling at me.
Even in your domain, you fail at everything.
No, that isn't true- I can still farm potatoes.
I weakly protest.
Mhm, sure you can. But... you decided to mock a small child and take away the only thing they had. Joy in Minecraft. Poor Squid.
I had no answer to that. My brain, taking advantage of the silence, flooded my head with harsh truths.
But it didn't stop there. I was noticing the inconsistencies of the patterns and blocks, and everything I could sense was sending me into overdrive.
I take a deep breath like Phil told me and tried to calm my senses.
"TECHNO! PLAY MINECRAFT WITH ME!" Tommy yells from behind me. I jump in my chair, whirl around and pull my pocket knife out, pointing it at the blonde, about to demand what they want.
Hey, what can I say, I was highly strung.
Tommy slowly raises his hands. "T-Techno? Hey, uh...It's me, T-Tommy.."
I relax when I hear his voice, but I don't put the knife down. I instead stare at it, admiring it's blemishes and steel. And there was another emotion that I...
..couldn't quite place.
After a time, I push it back into it's holster, on the side of my leg. Tommy snaps out of his reverie. "You....good there?" He asks nervously, eyeing me.
He's scared of you.
"Leave." I say, my voice devoid of any emotion.
I could feel it. The overstimulation. It was coming for me.
i start breathing deeper, almost unconsciously.
"But... But Techno, I just wanted to play-" He states.
"Leave!" I snap, narrowing my eyes as he puts down his hands, his nervousness fading into anger.
"Alright, I can see when I'm not wanted." He murmurs. "I can see what's happening."
My mouth seemed to move on it's own. "Do you? Care to enlighten the rest of us mere mortals?"
No, stop. Stop, why am I saying this?
His face hardens. "It seems, Technoblade, that you clearly don't want me to even be near you. It seems you don't even want to interact with me. As i remember, we're brothers. You can't even put aside time to talk to me. You are a pathetic waste of a man."
Hm. See, even an outside party agrees.
Tommy's anger, his real anger, was always cutting. He knew where to strike. He strides out of my room, and the waves of emotion roll over me, threatening to engulf me, drown me.
Everything hits. I quickly get off my chair onto my ready-made bed. I curl up, my voice dying as I try to call for help.
I thought I had control of these. It hurts. I feel raw pain, my thoughts incoherent and jumbled.
I can't breathe...again.
I realize, detached, that I'm, crying, hot tears spilling over my eyes. I gasp for air, and those DETAILS that I try to ignore gape at me, open and wide and a constant reminder of things that need to be fixed.
I can't contain my thoughts, and that wonderful black tinge, the one that appears when I'm near a dreamless sleep, appears in my sight.
But I shouldn't. I have people, now, right? With the rest of my energy, all I can do with the air being choked out of my by my own self, I scream.
I'm vaguely aware of a liquid soaking through my clothes, the metallic smell ticking my sense of smell. It keeps me awake.
Faintly, I hear footsteps. I feel a cold liquid, different from the rest, constantly dripping on my head, a constant beat, as arms envelop me.
"Te......ok, i.."
"Tech...it's..i'm he....won't let you go.."
"Techno," a sniffle. "it's me, Phil." a sob. "I'm here." another tear. "you're ok, I won't let you go."
This repeats, again and again like a mantra. His speech is broken by sobs.
And I grow more and more aware, until I can muster up the energy to hug him back.
"I'm her-....Kid?"
I grin, albeit weakly. "Hey there." I murmur.
He lets out a cry of joy, pulling me closer. "Oh thank god you're ok."
I sniff weakly, wiping my tears, when a pain shoots up my arm.
I frown down at the thin red lines, which was still producing that metallic twang. Realizing that in my fever, I must've run my arm along my pocket blade while I was struggling and wriggling. I twitch.
A minor inconvenience- I've had worse. I use my other arm, to wipe that blood off, then my already blood-ridden shirt to hold against it. Phil notices, and his sobs increase. He calls for Wilbur, who seems to be bearing bandages because he probably expected this.
"Techno.." Wilbur sighs. "Why do you continue on doing this?" I shrug. Can't control it, really. And they sure as hell won't be taking my knife away. Standing up, I reach for the medial supplies. i apply the needed and grunt. Not the best, but it'll have to do for now.
Wilbur looks on. "Why do you know this?" I sigh, and look at him.
"Wilbur, use your brain for once, please. I'm used to this, I'll be fine. It's just that you guys are noticin' for once."
I hear a soft padding noise, the polished wood of the floorboards in the hall creaking. Tommy, unusually nervous, pops his head in. His eyes were red, like he'd been crying.
"Is he-" His eyes widen at the sight of me, and he barrels towards me, burying his head in my shirt, soaking it with his tears. "I'm so so so sorry!" he manages to get out. I grunt at the sudden weight. then I awkwardly ruffle his hair. "
It's ok, Tom's, you're fine."
He looks up at me with tear-filled blue eyes. He scowls, wiping his tears. "You all- You all saw nothing." he growls, flushing slightly.
"Techno, I thought you were getting better?" Phil inquires, turning back to me. I sigh in exasperation, closing my eyes. guess it's time to explain the up and the down days. Yet again, I was not looking forward to this.