"Why didn't you tell me?" Solange asked in a hushed tone. The question lingered in my mind as we sat with our legs crossed enjoying our own personal favorite Ben and Jerry's ice cream.
After leaving our parents' home I was tempted to pack my belongings and catch the very first flight out of Houston to Chicago, but other factors prevented me from doing so. Mainly because of Solange. We rarely spent time together, but despite the traveling distance we always had a great bond. I was very aware that she had a ton of questions and it was only right that I spent some time with her to get those questions answered.
I sighed when I realized that I lacked the ability to even form words. There were so many things I had rehearsed in my mind what I would say whenever she asked, but now I couldn't even think straight.
"Not that I didn't want to tell you," I said before coming to a long pause, "Angel being taken away from me was a very hard pill to swallow. Mom and dad had, in a way, made me stay quiet. Though I was hurt that they treated me that way, I couldn't really leave. I was 15 and still being financially taken care of by them so if they didn't want to speak on it, I didn't speak on it.
"We have always been close Solange and you were a baby at the time. I felt that you wouldn't understand or maybe when you did understand, you would look at me differently... But I hate I didn't tell you this sooner. This has been eating me up for years and maybe telling you would have helped me after all."
She never looked in my direction but I could tell by the tone of her voice that she was a little disappointed in me. "It hurts that you didn't, but I understand where you are coming from and I'm proud of you and your strength, sis. I know it couldn't have been easy going an entire nine months carrying a child just for him to be snatched away from you."
It was a few seconds of silence until Solange finally looked at me, "I'll never look at them the same." She mumbled.
"No, I don't want my issues with mom and dad to affect your relationship with them. Regardless, they're your parents and I know you are extremely close with them. Please keep that bond."
"But how?" She questioned. Her eyebrows furrowed together as her eyes watered, "Look at how they did you. You were always the good kid Bey! You never got in trouble, was always respectful, did everything they asked of you, unlike me. I was suspended from high school so many times, broke all of their rules, and then I get to college and play around – not even taking this shit serious, and you think mom and dad won't treat me the same? You never gave them a reason to treat you like that. They're horrible."
She quickly wiped away her tears and I instantly pulled her closer to me for a hug. I hate that she has come to the realization that our parents are indeed the devil in disguise, but it's important that she see their true colors. If I would have known back then what I knew now, I would've been cut all ties with my parents. But everything happens for a reason, right?
"So," She said with a small chuckle, "What now? Have you spoken to your son? It sound so weird saying that."
I playfully rolled my eyes but couldn't help the smile that appeared on my face, "I haven't had an actual conversation with him, but I'm excited to do so. I hope he doesn't hate me."
"Of course he's probably going through a lot of emotions just like you are, but he could never hate you. Once he gets to know you, he's going to love you to pieces. I always knew you would be an amazing mother. Look at how you are with Josh's daughter."
I clinched my chest as I visualized myself with Angel. Though he was practically a grown man now, I couldn't wait to do all of the fun activities I missed out on with him as a kid.
Morning soon came and I found myself saying my final goodbyes to my sister. We were in the middle of the airport exchanging I love you's before she finally departed, leaving me to busy myself on my phone as I waited on my flight to be called.
"I knew that was you," I heard someone say from behind me, "Don't ask how."
Turning my head in the direction of the masculine voice, I was pretty shocked and a little creeped out to see no other than Shawn Carter approaching me. He carried his Louis Vuitton duffle over his shoulder with a bright smile plastered on his face.
"Are you following me?"
An immediate frown appeared on his face as he made himself comfortable in the chair next to me, "Don't flatter yourself. We're both hopping on a flight – just a crazy coincidence."
"A very crazy coincidence," I said with an eye roll, "Hell you going anyway?"
"Business?"
"Oh, please. Fuck you."
He chuckled, "Damn, I was playing. I'm heading back to Miami. I was just here for a few days to help a friend wrap up her debut album. What you doing here?"
I sighed and looked around to make sure no one was possibly watching us. Not that we were doing anything wrong, but a coincidence could lead wandering eyes to get the wrong idea.
"I finally confronted my parents."
I let out a sigh of relief I didn't even realize I was holding in as Jay gave me a few handclaps. "And how did that go?" He asked.
Shrugging my shoulders, I stared over at him and put my head down in defeat, "I mean, what did it change? They still the same Tina and Mathew, seeing no wrong in their actions. Well, my mom at least, but it's too late for the apologies. She had 19 years to do so."
Things between us fell silent until I felt his hand on my shoulder, "But doesn't that make you feel better? I'm glad you was able to somewhat talk to them. I know this hasn't been easy for you, and again, I apologize Beyoncé. I feel like the worst parent for leaving you like that."
I stared into his brown eyes and found myself smiling a little at his growth. I didn't know much about him, but I knew enough to see that he wasn't the same Jay from years ago. His mindset was different and I'm happy that he has finally come to the realization on how important being a parent was.
"Thank you Shawn. Apology accepted."
He smirked, "Shawn, huh? I love hearing you say that."
When our eyes once again connected, I instantly broke away from the intense stare when I felt this weird feeling. Hate to say it, but those damn butterflies. Why am I letting this man send subtle shots at me?
Thankfully, the sound of my flight being called broke us away from the weird eye exchange and I wasted not another second standing to my feet and grabbing my luggage.
"Hey, have you heard from him?" He asked before I could completely walk away.
I slowly shook my head, a little disappointed that I haven't heard from him and when Jay's head fell down, I knew that he hadn't heard from Angel either.
"Maybe we just need to give him time," I said with a sigh, "Just like it's been hard on us, I'm sure it's hard on him too. I'm going to keep the faith and whenever he does reach out to me, I will let you know."
"Yeah, do that! And I mean, you can hit me up whenever you wanna Bey. If you need someone to talk to, anything.. I'm here." I playfully rolled my eyes at his attempt to come at me and gracefully walked away without another word.
_______________
Three weeks later
Angel's POV
"Fuck man!" I groaned, feeling the tightness in my thighs after my fourth set of barbell front squats. I sat on the bench in front of the full sized, wall-to-wall length mirror as I took a few gulps of my water.
Staring at myself in the mirror put me in deep thought. I was thankful for life and breath in my body knowing that the car accident I was in could have taken my life. It even gave me a boost to get a few more reps in, but that was instantly shut down when I stood to my feet and saw my best friend, Chase staring back at me in disbelief.
"Just one more set." I encouraged, but found myself sucking my teeth when I saw him packing his things.
"You can do that shit by yourself," He groaned, "I'm tired as hell bro, and hungry as fuck. Plus I gotta meet this lil' shorty for our group project in an hour. Let's go man."
I would've said fuck him and continued with my workout routine until I realized we rode to the gym together, and I was also hungry too. Not putting up a fight, I grabbed my belongings and followed far behind him to the car.
"I know your bitch ass not upset you had to leave the gym," Chase said once I finally made it inside of the car. I ignored him but of course that didn't stop him from continuing to rant, "We been there for hours bro. We can't get no bitches in there, and I have stuff to do."
I stayed silent, not even caring what he was talking about and kept myself occupied on my phone. That obviously ticked him off and seconds later when we came to a stoplight, he was turning the volume of the music down and staring at me.
"Wow, you're upset? Over the gym?"
I sucked my teeth, "Chase, move the fuck on bro. I didn't even say shit. You know how aggravating that is?"
"No," He said with a slight chuckle, "What's aggravating is you being moody because you can't workout for another hour like you didn't have us in that hoe for two hours already."
Again, I stayed silent which was my usual move when I felt myself becoming annoyed with someone.
"That's that Sagittarius shit!" Chase groaned, speeding off once the light turned green.
I frowned and broke away from my phone to stare at the side of his face, "Why is everything always some Astrology shit for you? What does my zodiac sign have to do with anything?"
"It has a lot to do with everything!" He said with a chuckle, "You're like a fucking female bro, that's why I don't fuck with Sagittarius women. You act just like one."
I couldn't help but to chuckle and sat back once again in deep thought. This was the usual routine for us — Petty ass arguments but laughing about it in the end. We've only been friends for three years but it felt like forever with him. With me being the only child, it was fun having Chase around. He was the brother I never knew I needed and with us being in college and roommates, it only made our bond closer.
"Nah, seriously," He said, taking quick glances at me, "Something is off about you 'Lo. What's good?"
'Lo was the nickname given to me when I joined the basketball team in high school. A bunch of homophobic, immature boys didn't like the name Angel, and felt it was short for D'Angelo even though I told them it wasn't. Regardless, they ran with it and 'Lo has been stuck with me ever since.
I sucked my teeth at Chase actually reading me, "Is it that obvious?" I asked.
"Hell yeah, I'm a spiritual person 'Lo. I feel everything."
Silence took over us as he awaited a response from me. As I usually did when I was in deep thought, I fidgeted with my fingers and let out a dramatic sigh.
"It's fucking with me again bro," I confessed, "Like, I saw her bro! With my own fuckin' eyes."
"So how does that make you feel?"
I shrugged, not really knowing the answer to that. I was feeling a mixture of everything. Of course when I first laid eyes on my biological mother, I was angry. I didn't know what was going on, but that moment has been stuck with me ever since that day. Not only couldn't I get her off my mind, but now I was actually thinking about how differently my life would have been if she hadn't done what she did.
"I have so many questions, Chase," I said, barely over a whisper, "Why she gave me away? And then suddenly appear on my bedside when I'm fighting for my life? Was it genuine or what? What made her even come back for me if she gave me away in the first place?"
We had finally made it to our apartment complex but we chose to sit in the car a little longer as we shared this deep discussion.
He looked at me with a slight frown, "Why are you scared to reach out to her?"
"Because her actions says enough for me."
"Despite what she did years ago, she came to see you. Those actions says a lot too."
"But — "
"There's really no but in this right now 'Lo," Chase said, immediately shutting me down, "You got questions, she got answers. There's no reason you should be scared. If anything, she should be the one afraid. Honestly, you got full control over this."
I slowly nodded my head, taking in everything he was saying. Reaching out to her could be both the right and wrong thing to do, but I was down with taking that risk. If she didn't want me, cool. Not like I have anything to lose anyway. My feelings wouldn't be hurt because I mean, when was she ever there?
______________
"What you mean no?" I questioned with anger fueled deep inside of me.
My mom, Charlotte stood before me on the other side of the kitchen's island with entirely no expression on her face.
"I mean exactly what I said," She said, looking up at me with a glare, "No, I will not give you her number. For what? That woman is filled with lies and cannot be trusted. I'm looking out for you."
"And how do you know that?"
She chuckled, "Baby, I've known Beyoncé and her parents for years. She gave you away for a reason! She didn't want anything to do with you, and she showed up to the hospital only because I called her to possibly give you blood but she couldn't even do that!"
I sat at the dining table wrecking my brain trying to understand everything that has transpired these past few months. Something just wasn't sitting right with me and I couldn't put a finger on it.
"Why would she give you her number to contact her if she doesn't want anything to do with me?"
My mom shook her head and finally approached me. She pulled a chair next to mine and looked deeply into my eyes.
"People lie, okay? I tell you that all the time. Getting in touch with her will only leave you hurt baby, and I don't want to see you hurting again. That woman isn't in your best interest."
I clinched my jaw feeling myself getting upset all over again hearing that. Why the fuck she didn't want me? I had to know.
"Mama," I said with a sigh, "I'm grown now, aight? I think I can make those decisions for myself. You can at least give me her number and I'll make the decision to call her or not."
"But why Angel?"
"I want answers."
"I'm giving you the answers!"
I frowned, "And I want to hear it from her, aight? I feel like I need this closure and you getting in the way of that doesn't make it any better. I deserve that, at least."
"Okay.." She said, making me sigh of relief. I definitely wasn't expecting her to tell me no when at one point, she was talking nicely about my biological mother. I'm not surprised though. My mom has always been that way and it made me shake my head at her antics.
"If you want to call her, call her," She added, "But don't run to me when she denies access to you."
I remained silent as she handed me the receipt paper that had the number written in a black pen on the back of it. The first few digits were smeared but I could still make out the 773 area code.
Not wanting to make the call in front of her, I stuffed the paper in the pocket of my jeans and stood to my feet.
I could sense the bit of anger from my mother, but I could tell it warmed her heart when I pulled her in for a tight hug.
"Whatever happens, I'll always love you ma. You raised me to be the man I am today, but I really need your support on this. I'm doing this for me, aight? I don't want to lose you, and I'll never lose you."
She sighed and once we pulled away I noticed her wiping away her tears, "I know baby, I'm sorry. I love you."
"I love you more. I'ma head back to my place. I'll text you when I make it."
_______________
"What if she doesn't answer?" I asked myself as I paced back and forth in the living room. With Chase being at work, it left me home alone and pretty nervous for what the next few moments will have to offer.
After receiving Beyoncé's number, I waited a few days before finally making the decision to just call her. I tried so hard to talk myself out of it, but I was dying to have my questions answered. At least I can say I tried and that's all that really mattered.
Leaning against the refrigerator, I stared down at the receipt paper as I typed the number into the keypad of my call log.
"Fuck, what am I going to say?" I questioned myself once again. I groaned and erased the numbers only to type it in again.
"I got this.. Like Chase said, I control this."
The peptalk worked perfectly because in just a few seconds, I could hear the other line ringing and knew the call had went through. I put the phone on speaker and was extremely close to hanging up once I reached the fourth ring and she still didn't answer.
Just before I could end the call, the line connected and the sound of a feminine, yet deep voice came over the line.
"Hello?" She repeated for the second time while I remained mute — too nervous to even speak.
"Beyoncé?" I asked.
"Uh," She said as if she was annoyed someone had called her phone asking who she were, "This is she. Who is this?"
I could feel the chills running down my spine at the mention of it actually being her. The commotion in the background instantly let me know I possibly called at the wrong time, but I was grateful she still picked up.
"It's me, Angel."
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Been a long time coming, but I appreciate y'all being patient with me. I know this not the *longest* chapter, but I wanted to stop right here to leave more excitement for the next update.
Anywho! What are your thoughts?
Jay seemed to be flirting a little. He want that old flame back! Should he keep trying his luck, or?
You guys finally got the first look into Angel's life! Thoughts on him? What are your thoughts on *this* Charlotte?
I promise I'll get better at updating faster. Writer's block is no joke and Wattpad really isn't the same anymore, sadly.
Don't forget to like and comment!
P.S — Game Over 2 will be posted soon😉