"Spence, are you sure you're okay with me going out?" I asked as I picked out an outfit.
He flicked me, "That's literally the thirteenth time you've asked. You deserve a break and I can handle the kids. Have fun with your friends, jeez."
I pulled out a strapless dress with a corset-style top and a knee-length skirt, one of Spencer's favorites.
"Tease," he muttered.
I smiled and pulled it on, turning so he could zip it up for me. He did, then trailed his hands down my chest and pulled me back against him.
"My wife." He growled.
I smiled and turned around to kiss him, "Yours."
"Don't have too much fun tonight." He teased.
***
Of course, we couldn't just go out for a normal drinking night, so we ended up at the club where Jenna worked, the Camelot Showbar (even though it was a longer drive than most other bars we could've gone to). Garcia had booked a table right next to the stage, giving us a perfect view.
"JJ, calm down," I slid her a drink as a girl who I didn't recognize came onstage. "Just because you're not into chicks doesn't mean you can't look at their asses."
"I'll drive home, Jay," Garcia leaned in, "I'm happy to enjoy this sober. Just relax a little."
She sighed and downed the drink. "Just give me champagne or something light for the rest of the night, okay?"
We all agreed. I pulled out my wallet and pulled out the bills I had; although you could tip with your card, I knew from talking to Jenna that the girls preferred cash. I leaned back and sipped my drink, knowing Garcia had picked something I liked.
We all lounged over each other, throwing cash at the stage, whistling, and making jokes. Even JJ got in on it, somewhat timidly admiring the looks of the girls; but as the night went on, she became more confident, to all of our amusement.
"Do you know if Jenna's dancing tonight?" I asked Garcia over the music.
She nodded, "Yeah, she should be on soon."
I smiled, satisfied, requesting another drink as one of the waitresses came through. I smiled at her – we'd met when the team was here for the case. I was sure there was some comfort in knowing there were FBI agents there, albeit slightly drunk FBI agents, for if anything went downhill.
Garcia leaned in, speaking loudly into my ear to be heard over the noise of the club. "Okay, so last girls' night, you kissed me. What's going to happen tonight?"
"We've already fucked, Pen, I don't know what you're expecting." I laughed, "Or are you that forgetful?"
"Oh, I'm not forgetting that any time soon." She assured me, "But I do have a question."
I finished my drink, passing the waitress a drink and she brought me another. "Okay, shoot."
"Why are you so willing to be in power and have responsibility over the mental and physical health of one or more people during scenes, but you won't give up that control to others? Isn't the whole thing that people in power like giving it up?"
I took a large drink and passed some cash on stage to avoid responding, but I knew I could only evade the answer for so long. "People trust me because I have the training and reputation in the community. They have low standards and less trauma. That's not me."
"Why not me?" Garcia pouted dramatically. "Haven't I earned your trust?"
I looked at her seriously, turning away from the stage. "This is different, Garcia. This is my mental health and privacy in intimate ways beyond any career or individual. I've been burned before."
"I know." Her tone matched mine, growing more serious. "Part of what Hotch has me do is a full search on anyone joining the team. Beyond the normal scope of the FBI. I find everything there is on everyone."
"So, you saw me naked before I even met you." My voice was cold, and I suddenly felt stone-cold sober.
"I didn't see the pictures. Just the digital footprints they left." She answered. "And I purged those as much as I could. I found the legal side of things, I found all the documents."
"You spied on me."
"That's what we do as careers!" She protested.
We take down criminals. Not spy on our colleagues." I could feel my anger boiling. "Why are you telling me this now, Penelope?"
"Because you have a team on your side now. If that ever happened again, it would be down in an instant. I have flags set up for the entire team for anything... unsavory, and I'd never judge you for that." She leaned closer. "You have a family with the FBI, and we're always going to protect you. I still have flags on everything to do with Gideon, just to make sure he's being remembered in the right way. You're not alone, so stop thinking you are."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. "You still do that for him?"
"Every past agent, every alibi they've used, all of it." Garcia confirmed. "You're my family, and no one hurts my family."
"Without consent." I teased.
Penelope nodded sagely. "Precisely, young padawan. Now, let's enjoy the view."
The lights darkened as she said that, with spotlights sweeping onto the stage. Jenna's performing name was announced, and the music began, and she started dancing out, spinning around the pole and winking at us when she spotted us. Jenna was one of the most flexible people I knew; that, combined with her upper body strength allowed her to dance elegantly around the pole, including turning fully upside down, her skirt flipping up around her hips.
"Damn, now I'm jealous she's married." Emily laughed.
"They're not monogamous," I reminded her, "It's worth a shot."
***
After Jenna finished her dance, she began walking the floor, stopping by our table. I was mid-conversation with Emily, but Jenna got my attention when she ran one hand down my arm and leaned down to whisper in my ear.
"Hey, sexy, you come here often?" She said, somehow both laughing and maintaining her 'seductive voice'.
I turned and raised an eyebrow, "I thought we couldn't touch the dancers?"
"Dancer's choice," she answered, "You're not touching me, honey. Hey, Penelope, Emily, JJ."
Emily turned, whistling quietly. "You're a damn good dancer."
"Happy to provide your fantasies," Jenna grinned. "There are private rooms, if you're interested."
"Just tell me when, cutie." Emily answered, winking.
"Em, you don't need to fuck all my friends." I cut in.
"Yeah, and you don't need to fuck the entire team." She shot back. "But I'm not stopping you."
I decided not to dignify that with a response.
***
Closer to the end of the night, Emily had actually gone back to get a private dance from Jenna, and JJ wandered off to the bar. Garcia and I stayed at the table, talking.
"I'm sorry about getting mad at you." I said. "I understand why you had to scourge the internet for anything about me, it wasn't fair to get mad at you."
"I should've told you." She shrugged. "Hotch didn't even see it, if that helps. He just has me give him a report, it's mostly just to understand everyone that's coming onto the team. When I realized what happened, I just included it as something like 'Victim in a revenge porn case, resolved'. He didn't ask more about it."
"You really keep flags on all of us?"
She nodded. "Like I said, I still keep tabs on everyone, even Gideon. Anything that comes up about any of us, I check."
"You're an angel, you know that?" I asked. "Seriously, no one expects you to do that."
"Like I said, you're my family. The whole team is."
JJ walked back to us, "Hey, I think there's a guy at the bar with roofie pills."
"Fuck." I muttered. "Did you get his name?"
"No, but I think I saw him drop something into a girl's drink. I warned her, but..." JJ shrugged, "It's probably good to double check."
I stood, "I'll go see if I can figure anything out, and I'll ask the bartender if they saw anything. Garcia, keep an eye on JJ and the girl."
JJ pointed out the guy, who was talking to the girl she'd warned. I stood and walked over to the bar, pretending to be more drunk that I was, pushing in right next to him and requesting another drink. I sighed, mentally apologized to Spencer, and leaned close to the guy.
"Hey, you." I smiled, taking my drink from the bartender and sliding her a large tip.
He turned to me, "Do I know you?"
I shook my head, leaving my drink uncovered and in front of him, "No, but I thought you looked pretty cute."
"Who are you here with?" He asked, looking around.
"Just some girlfriends." I shrugged. "You?"
"No one I can't leave alone for a night." He dismissed.
I leaned forward further, one hand resting under my breasts to push them up further, "At least tell me your name first."
"James," he offered his hand.
My eyes were trained on my drink. There it was, the tiny splash, the white pill at the bottom of my glass, the slight fizz. It was barely visible since the drink was cloudy already.
"(Y/N)," I introduced myself, shaking his hand. "Do you want to step outside?"
He raised an eyebrow, "Finish your drink first, at least. Wouldn't want to waste it."
"I should probably tell my friends where I'm going, just so they don't worry." I said, picking up my drink. "Don't run away, James." I walked back to JJ and Garcia, maintaining my drunk act, but dropped it as soon as I sat down. "Do either of you have a bottle? We should take a sample, I watched him drug it."
"Lean to the side, I'm going to swap your glass with my empty one." Garcia nodded. "I always keep an extra sample bottle with me. Go outside with him, I'll call the cops."
"JJ, you take care of the other girl." I suggested. "Only approach after I take him out, though."
She nodded and I picked up the empty glass, pretending to finish it. I stood and 'waved goodbye' to the girls, walked back to James, and took him outside, keeping up the giggly act. I kept one hand on the bracelet I had that matched Spencer's collar, reminding myself that I was doing it for the girl inside. Within a few minutes, the cops pulled up, Garcia rushing outside to meet them. James was confused, but as Garcia handed the sample bottle over, he realized what was happening, quickly becoming angry.
"You lying bitch," he growled at me.
I smiled, "Yep! That's me. Enjoy prison, asshole."
The cops guided James to the back of the squad car, James cursing and spitting the entire time.
"Well, this isn't how I expected tonight to go." JJ laughed as the car pulled away. "I'm glad I noticed."
"Let's at least go back inside and get one last drink." I said, "Besides, Emily's dance should just have finished."
We all walked back inside. The bouncer recognized us, letting us back inside, where we spotted Emily at our table.
"Hey, what happened?" She asked.
"Found a shitty guy trying to roofie a girl." I answered. "Just passed him to the cops."
We stayed for a few more dances before leaving, piling into the back of JJ's car.
"That was a great night," I sighed, lounging over Emily's lap. "Good drinks, pretty girls, and an asshole went to jail."
"Absolutely." Garcia agreed. "And Emily got a dance."
"Hell yeah I did!" Emily cheered. "Jenna's fucking hot, seriously. Worth it."
"Remind me to invite you to a party sometime." I looked up at her. "You'd enjoy it."
***
"So, any proposed orgies this time?" Spencer asked as I stripped and pulled on an old sweater of his.
I shook my head, "Nah, we got a guy arrested and Emily got a dance from Jenna instead."
"Why did you get someone arrested?" Spencer asked.
I shrugged, "Tried to drug another girl, I managed to get him to drug mine so we could get a sample and called the cops."
"You could have just tried to have a normal night, y'know." He laughed. "You don't always have to be an agent."
"JJ saw someone doing something shitty, we weren't going to let it happen." I said defensively.
Spencer pulled me close to him, "I'm not criticizing you."
"I know, I'm just tired." I sighed. "And I got pissy at Garcia earlier, which didn't help."
"Do I want to know?"
I turned to face Spencer, hiding in his shoulder. "We talked about my subspace and Garcia apparently found what my ex posted online."
"Oh, fuck." He muttered.
"I knew that they did extended background checks on us, but still." I could feel the lump building in my throat again. "I wanted to put that behind me."
"She's not going to judge you for it, none of us would. All of us have been through shit, you know that." Spencer reminded me. "She just had to do the check."
"That was the worst part of my entire BDSM career." I tried to cuddle closer to Spencer, even though I was fully pressed against him. "I was so scared to get back into it."
"Why did you?" Spencer asked, wrapping his arms around me.
I took a shaky breath. "Jenna and I dated for a while, she slowly helped me back into it as a coping mechanism. I needed it for my own mental health, it helps calm me down."
"You do realize that's why Garcia likes it too, right? And why Morgan and Hotch and I like it. We understand why you use it." Spencer reminded me. "We're not going to judge you for that."
I was silent for a few seconds.
"Hey, Spencer?" I asked.
He hummed.
"I love you." I whispered into his shoulder. "I never want to lose you."
"I promised myself to you, and I meant it." He answered. "I, Spencer Reid, will stand by your side and support you in all that you do. I will remain faithful and true, act honestly, and continue my unwavering love for you until my last dying breath. And if there is, as unlikely as it is, a life beyond this one, I will uphold my vows then and there too."
I smiled, "Your wedding vows."
"I will always come home to you." He promised.
"And I you," I answered, moving up to kiss him.
He kissed me and smiled. "Better?"
I nodded, "Better."
***
"Are you sure about this?" Spencer asked me.
I nodded. "It's just to see how I feel about it."
Spencer guided me onto my knees and allowed me to breathe, calming myself down as he knelt in front of me. He cupped my face, meeting my eyes as I slowly opened them.
"Color?" He asked gently.
"Green."
Spencer reached forward, wrapping the collar around my neck, clasping it in the back. It sat gently around my neck, the weight comforting me. Spencer leaned forward to kiss me; one finger wrapped around the warm leather.
"You can relax, pet." Spencer's voice washed over me as I breathed. "That's it, let go for me."
His other hand was on my back, allowing me to relax. I tried to focus on Spencer's voice, reminding myself that I was safe with him. Spencer's protecting me. I heard Spencer shift, cradle me between his legs.
"Lean back on me, baby, it's okay." Spencer coaxed. "Deep breaths."
Spencer's protecting me.
He ran one hand up my hip, other hand still putting weight on my collar. He kissed behind my ear, and I hummed happily and leaned back further, putting my weight against him.
"I love you," I whispered.
I could relax, I could feel safe in his arms. I'm safe. The weight on my collar of his hand grounded me.
"I'm in love with you, and that's not changing." Spencer promised. "You're mine."
"Yours." I agreed. "I'm yours."