[The art belongs to me!
Today, we discovered that Lee has a really hard time describing what's going on with his mental, and contrary to the show, Lee has actual emotions, and isn't just comic relief!! enjoy :))]
Dinner was going well, to say the least. Kakashi is really good at cooking, and after a little small talk I had learned a few things.
Kakashi went to culinary school and worked as a head chef at some place downtown. But not any restaurant downtown. Before moving to a different restaurant, Kakashi worked at Breakfast Palace. That's where him and Gai met.
Gai was a single father at the time, taking care of Lee while simultaneously working three jobs to support them. Out of those three, Gai said he liked teaching self-defense. That's what he talked about most.
At some point after everyone had finished eating, I started to feel just a little sick to my stomach, and my head started to hurt. Then it was my left eye. I was seeing weird blotchy patterns, and there was a lot of pressure. I didn't say anything at first, because of course, I didn't want to bug anyone.
Then, twenty minutes into the conversation about I can't even remember what, Lee noticed that I hadn't said anything. I really don't want to ruin everything again. I can't let a headache get to me and ruin this.
"You're looking pale, (y/n)," Kakashi pointed out as I held my head. "Are you feeling alright?"
"I'm okay, really. I think it's just a headache. Please, just continue your conver-" My whole body flinched for no reason, then I shivered, "- Don't let me ruin the conversation."
Kakashi continued to stare at me. I kept my eyes on my empty plate. "You look like you're getting a migraine," He said.
"I- what?"
"Yeah. It's normal, but they can be extremely painful if you don't take some pain meds and rest. I can go grab you some Tylenol. After you take that, and it's really not because I want you to leave, you should probably head home and get some sleep."
"Mr. Kakashi, I'm really alright. I don't want to... ruin the night, so-"
"My Lotus, if you are not feeling well, it is okay for us to head out," Lee explained softly, then placed his hand over mine.
"But I keep-" I started, but a sudden pounding in my head started, which interrupted what I was saying for a moment. I lowered my voice, hoping it was quiet enough just for Lee to hear. "I keep being the reason we have to leave places early. I don't want to ruin this."
"You aren't ruining anything, (y/n)," Gai said suddenly. "We can always have you over again when you're feeling well. It's not like we don't like you. You're pleasant company, and we'd be happy to have you back here soon."
"...And is not going to ruin my first impression?"
"This was not a first impression, with as much as these two talk about you. You're really okay to leave, I know how bad migraines can be. Let me go grab some medicine." Kakashi got up and immediately left to the bathroom where I assumed they kept their medicine.
He emerged a minute later with a bottle that was labeled as Tylenol, and gave me it. I downed two, and gave it back to him. Lee helped me to my feet, only to be stopped by Metal.
"Papa! Can I spend the night here?" His question was silently discussed amongst the adults. Lee and I looked at each other with a small nod, and then Lee's gaze cut to Gai and Kakashi, who both nodded, Gai seemingly excited.
"Sure buddy. If you want to."
"I do!"
I laughed slightly at this, before I remembered that my head was still pounding. I winced, which Lee noticed because I was in his arms, leaning on him slightly.
"I think we should go now." Lee ran his hand down my back quickly before everyone exchanged good-byes and hugs goodbye. That was mostly Lee and Gai though. Kakashi and I were comfortable with a handshake, and the same with Gai.
"Bye Metal!" I forced a grin, not wanting to seem so bad. "Love you buddy, see ya later!"
"Bye Mama! Bye-bye papa!"
And with that, we left out to the car. We let it stay silent all the way until the medicine I took kicked in, and my head didn't hurt. Depressed - Lee?
"Lee," I called quietly. He hummed as a response, asking me to keep talking. "Are you okay?"
Lee coughed once at the question. "Why do you ask?"
"You ask me how I'm doing, or if I'm okay way more than I ask you. I feel like I'd be... a better partner if I asked more often," I sighed. "So... how are you doing?"
"..." I let him think for a moment.
"Well... I think... if I am being completely honest with myself, and you, maybe I am... not the best I could be," he said quietly. "But I do not want to bother you with that."
"Lee, honey, I think we've both established we want to stay together, right? I don't want you to think telling me how you're feeling personally bothers me. You almost always know how I'm doing, I think it's okay if I know about you. So please, Lee. Tell me how you're doing."
"(y/n)... I-" Lee bit his bottom lip nervously. "I keep... I keep lying to myself and you, I think." he gripped my hand a little tighter. I held his hand back, trying to get him to relax. "I am not even sure anymore. I think I feel so lucky to be with you for a lot of reasons. But most of all, I think you keep me grounded. You are something I know. I know I love you, and you love me. It is... helpful on the days that I am feeling particularly- well- uhh, down? With you, I feel like I finally stand on solid ground. I do not know how else to describe how I feel."
We were going to be home in a few minutes now, but I was nowhere near ready for the end of this conversation. He continued speaking a second after my thought.
"I think of you a lot. And if that is creepy, I apologise. Sometimes at work, while watching the cameras around campus, I feel empty? -I think that is what I mean- Well, that is until I remember I have you. Once I think of you, I feel whole again. I know that people should not feel like they need someone to feel whole, but I do not know what I would do without you."
The car went silent for a moment, before I fixed my hand, so instead of his being over mine, I could comfort him with mine over his.
"I feel like you fell in love with just me, being happy, and I guess... if I stop being the way you have seen me the past few months, you- well, you won't want the part of me that isn't happy," he explained. I was... astonished. I wished I would have asked him about this sooner. I never meant to make him feel like that. Maybe it wasn't me who made him feel that way. Was it an ex? Did someone fall in love with -just- him being happy? did they not let him feel real emotions?
"It's okay, Lee. I guess... I'm glad that I'm that person to you. But I want you to know that you don't have to pretend to be happy all the time. I want you to be happy, yes, but I definitely don't want you to think that I won't love you if you're not." I held his hand up to my lips, and kissed the back of it. "It's okay not to be okay around me."
Lee took a deep breath and parked in his driveway.
"You are, without a doubt, the person I love the absolute most, my Lotus," he said quietly. He began to shake slightly, and tears started rolling down his cheeks. "You will stay with me forever, right?"
"As long as you want me, Lee."
"Y-you are... amazing." I pulled his face from his hands, and wiped his tears away. "Thank you for... letting me feel things."
"Who wouldn't? It's important that we understand what each other are feeling."
"I feel like- like I should not feel this way. I have such an amazing girlfriend, I have a great son, my dads are well. I have nothing to feel-"
"Hey, hey, quit that. Lee, your emotions are real, and it's okay to feel what you feel, as long as you know that it won't ever change my perspective of you. You'll always be my love, no matter how you feel emotionally." Lee placed his hand over mine on his cheek. "So let's go inside, and we can watch a movie while we cuddle, or we can talk. How's that sound?"
"It sounds wonderful. Thank you, my love. Thank you for listening."
"Thank you for listening when I need to talk too. It's good for us."
Lee leaned in, and kissed me for just a second, then got out of the car, and without giving me an opinion, picked me up and carried me inside.
"I could just use my crutches, you don't have to carry me everywhere, Lee."
"But I like too. I know crutches are not very fun to use, so it is my pleasure to help you around."
After getting inside, Lee and I changed into our pajamas, and got ready for bed, and cuddled up close.
"Lee?" I had my head resting on his chest as we laid there comfortably in the silence that had been broken.
"Yes my Lotus?"
"Is there anything else... you want to get off your mind? I'm here to listen if you want to talk about... well, anything I care about you, and if something is bothering you, I want to know. Maybe a past relationship, or-"
"I think I am okay for tonight. But thank you so much for caring, and telling me you care. It means the whole world to me."
"You mean the world to me, Lee." The way his heart began to race made me happy. But only because Lee was happy, or excited. Any good thing he felt, I felt, as long as it was real.
[Happy Thanksgiving for my readers in America!! it's currently 1 am, so it counts!!
-304]