The minute I was able to finally get it close enough to what Alec wanted I had called it out and threw the tape measure away from us like it had burned me, tossing it back at him... maybe aiming at his face just a little... And then snapped my sweet Bean back against my chest where he belongs and the snuggle I had received for being the one to resume our cuddly position is still happening and making it oh so impossible to try and focus on what's going on at the front of the room, let alone the words coming out of Alic's mouth at the moment.
I hadn't even retaliated when he made that snide comment about needing it in centimeters instead of inches so he could be exact... Telling someone to screw off isn't being snide it's simply me refusing to make the mother of my child uncomfortable again for no reason when he can look down at the tape measure himself and see exactly how many centimeters are in eleven and a half inches. He had started to try and push me... But all it had taken was a clearing of Pop's throat and Alic swallowed his pride and whatever it was that he was about to say and refocused his effort on his... Parting speech? I think?
But I am more interested in stroking my sweet Mama's hair and listening to all of his teeny tiny whimpers as he recovers from feeling so on display...
I love it when he plasters himself against me so tightly... To the point where we can feel each other's every breath and minute movement... I love my stunning Addy's static cling and I wish we had more moments where people would let us be like this instead of giving us shit for being so affectionate with each other and making jokes about it... I know our friends don't mean anything truly negative about it... But a lot of the time it makes my Sweetpea feel so self-conscious that he always tries to hold himself back a tiny bit...
Right now he isn't holding himself back and as much as I know I should probably pay attention with it being the last day... I just... I can't... And Lukas and Harper can sit there and clear their throats all they fucking want... I'd rather be caught up in the feel of Addy mouthing my neck for comfort... And the feel of his beautiful raven curls under my palm as I let my fingers drift through his strands with no real destination in mind.
I just want to love on my Bean and continue to make him feel nice and safe and warm just like he should always be...
And I just keep having to remind myself that this week is nearly over and that if we don't want to we don't have to stay for the last night and head out in the morning... If Addy is up for it we can be packed and out of here before the rest of them can even figure out where or what they want to eat and never look back at this damned hotel and most of the people in it that have been stuck here with us for the past week.
...
Adrian
...
I had originally thought that I would get sleepy again when Daddy was done measuring my hair... But even though I feel safe I don't think it can be naptime...
I got too self-conscious and now my nerves won't let my consciousness fade...
It's okay though because it just means that I get to actually enjoy the feel of Daddy continuing to play with my hair... And I get to be nibbly and feel the way he squirms just a bit when my teeth get involved in the way I keep my mouth attached to the very first mark I gave him what feels like forever ago...
It's so cute when Daddy can't help but let out quiet grunts in response to the feel of my mouth on such a sensitive area, my own noises flowing as a nearly silent stream from the back of my throat as he holds me close and keeps me warm in his embrace... And there isn't any place I would rather be than in his arms... Though I do wish that I was in his arms at home... Where we could be nakey and comfy and in front of the fire with the nearly finished couch blankey and hot chocolate and Daddy's hand on my bottom instead of around my waist... And we could have it be storytime right now instead of listening to Alic drone on and on about the sense of community we should continue to foster amongst each other as leaders, and as packs which is something that we all already know...
I would much rather be winding down with Daddy and listening to the rest of that story with the ex-communicated priest as the love interest in it while I try to show Daddy again how to do the shell stitch so he can help me with the blanket like he keeps saying he wants to, even though I'm not sure I'm the best teacher... No matter how many times he tells me I'm a great teacher he never seems to really pick up on crocheting... But with the internal chuckles floating from his mind to mine at the moment over my train of thought I think maybe I really am not a bad teacher... And that maybe he might be purposefully not learning so I have to show him over and over again because he thinks it's cute when I get focused on stuff... Something he may or may not be guilty of when it comes to a few other things... Him and his intense eyes always on me ready to watch me whether it be reading, or creating some snuggly winter clothes for our future Beans so they can be ready for crisp Massachusetts falls and the freezing winters...
And I don't ever want him to stop... Even if I have to show him the shell stitch every single day until the blanket is finished... I'll teach him with a smile and he knows it.