Keenan's POV
She was in a robe.
She was staring at me, cheeks tainted red, her mouth hanging slightly open.
I could smell the soap on her skin, the banana shampoo in her hair which was still damp. I could tell she had just taken a shower.
Made a lot of sense why she didn't pick up when the receptionist called.
Seven months and she was still the same.
Yes, her hair was shorter now, but she was still my Kimberly. Still the same shy, brown eyed girl that had walked into my office that day.
And it was overwhelming, seeing her after all this time.
Finally seeing her after all this time.
I was itching to touch her.
To reach out to her and touch her, to hug her, to pull her close and tell her that I had missed her.
But doing that right now would have been extremely awkward considering the time that we had spent apart.
I could tell that she was holding her breath. I could tell that she was waiting for me to say something, anything to ease the tension. I could feel the anxiety steaming off her, the tension between us causing a tingling sensation on the palms of my hands and on the skin behind my neck.
I drew in a deep breath and then lowered my gaze, flicking my tongue quickly over my lower lip.
"I," I breathed. "I hope I'm not too late." I started. I wanted to tell her to breathe but it might have embarrassed her. So I drew in a deep breath and then exhaled, hoping that she would catch on and mirror my movements.
At first she didn't.
But then after a moment that seemed like forever, she drew in a deep breath and then exhaled softly.
"H-Hi. Hey." Hearing her voice again sparked something in me that I couldn't explain. "Hey." She breathed again, softer this time, offering me a small smile. And like a moth drawn to a flame, I wanted to be closer to her. But I could only stare at her from where I stood, watching her appear so close, but yet so far.
She, who was mine, but wasn't really mine if that made any sense.
I realized that time apart had been worth it.
I had needed it.
Needed the time to heal, to gain control over my life again.
It was the only reason why I was able to face her today, to stand before her and not be a complete and utter mess.
"Keenan," She breathed. "You're here." I could see her chest heaving heavily as she took a step backwards, opening the door a bit wider, offering me a silent invitation. I could hear the tremble in her voice . It was almost as evident as the the sight of her hands shaking as she held on tightly to the doorknob.
She was nervous.
I took a step inside and then another, my hand accidentally brushing against hers as I walked past her. I heard her inhale sharply and then I heard the door shut softly behind me.
For a moment, silence dominated.
It was piercing white noise against my ears, and it was squeezing the oxygen right out of the room, screaming out for me to say something.
"I didn't think you were going to come." She started softly, breaking the silence, causing me to turn around. "I mean," She continued, fidgeting with the sleeves of her robe. "I'm glad you're here but I didn't think you would show up but you're here." She said, her voice thinning. "Uhm... you should sit." She said, motioning to the bed. "You can sit." She added quickly before she bit down on her lower lip.
Kimberly's POV
My heart was racing.
And I was beginning to feel lightheaded.
Keenan was here!
He was right here in front of me. I had thought about this moment everyday for the past seven months. I had put all the words together, all the words that I was going to say to him.
And now that he was here, I couldn't remember a single thing, hell, I couldn't even think straight.
I became really aware of the fact that I was in just a robe. All my senses were heightened. Despite the cool air from the air conditioner, it was hot in the room, suffocating even. I watched him walk towards the bed and then sit down slowly. I wanted to sit too.My legs were shaky and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to keep myself standing for too long if I continued breathing so quickly but I was too nervous to move. To scared to sit close to him.
I drew in a deep breath.
It had been seven months.
I didn't want to lay myself bare in front of him. I didn't want to appear as the naive, desperate girl who had clung on to him seven months ago. I told myself that I wouldn't be that person. I told myself that if we ever met again, I would be stronger, firmer. I wanted to show him that I was better now.
And even though waiting for him in the hotel every month for the past seven months kind of killed the whole motive, I had practiced in the mirror over and over again. The only significant difference was that I didn't think he would show up. I didn't think he would ever show up.
Love and pride were incompatible .
I realized that now.
That even if seven whole months had passed, if there was a possibility that Keenan and I could work this out, I had to lay myself bare once again.
And then it hit me that he mightn't even have showed up because he missed me, or because he wanted me back.
The last time I saw Paul, he had come to me with divorce papers from Keenan. I realized that Keenan could have showed up to deliver the papers himself. I realized that this could be the last time I would see him.
I opened my mouth to say something but the words just wouldn't come out. He was watching me intently, his eyes never leaving mine.
I felt weak at the knees, my breath hitched.
And when I found the courage to finally speak, my voice was soft and low, barely above whisper level.
What do you say to someone you haven't seen in seven whole months?
I wanted to get mad.
Maybe if I did, then I wouldn't have to do all the talking. Maybe the tables would turn and I wouldn't have to cry my heart out at the outcome.
But I didn't even have it me to act like I was upset.
I had turned my back on him first.
Even after he begged me to stay.
And I knew that if I had stayed like he wanted, if I had assured him that I wasn't going anywhere, then maybe the last seven months of my life wouldn't have been so lonely.
But I am human.
And I was hurt.
All I could think about was how embarrassing it would be if I poured my heart out and he didn't give two fucks about it. I drew in a deep breath, this time closing my eyes before I exhaled.
"Kim,"
"Keenan,"
We both started, and I watched him lean in, placing his elbows on his legs to support his weight. His eyes watched me intently, urging me to go ahead and I felt my heartbeat pick up its pace.
It was astonishing, how breathtaking he was. How one glance from him still had the ability to knock the air right out of my lungs after so much time spent apart.
"I'm- I'm sorry I'm being so awkward." I said, managing a nervous laugh as I ran my fingers through my hair. "I just-" I breathed. "I don't... I can't tell if you're here to stay o- or if you're here to talk me into signing the divorce papers." I said before I bit down on my lower lip. "If it is the latter, Keenan-"
"It's not." He said softly and for a second, my heart stopped. "I'm not here for the divorce papers." He added. I swallowed hard.
"I'm sorry about Andre." I started softly, the last word drying in my throat. "I- I went to the house and you weren't there." I said. "And your number was unavailable, I couldn't get to you no matter how hard I tried." I paused. "I was going to tell you that I was sorry. For turning my back on you when you needed me." I said and then pursed my lip. "I shouldn't have walked away from you the way I did." I said under my breath, lowering my gaze. I honestly didn't know where to start from.
Too much time had passed.
My apology was seven months too late.
A year ago, when Izzy died, Keenan had told me that no one deserved to mourn alone. He had told me that if there was anything I needed to feel better, anything in the world I wanted, all I had to do was let him know.
I wished that he had given me the opportunity to do the same for him.
"I don't even know how or what-"
"I don't blame you for walking away." He said softly, cutting me off and I froze, feeling my breath hitch. "Kimberly," I watched him flick his tongue over his lower lip as he pretended to look around for a brief moment. "Anybody would have done the same thing. I don't-" He paused. "Hell, I don't know how I would have reacted if the roles were reversed." He said, meeting my gaze.
My heart stopped.
If he understood like he claimed to, then what took him so long? Why didn't he shown up in all the previous months even though he knew that I was waiting for him?
Why show up now?
"Then why?-" I breathed. "What took you so long?" I asked, glancing down at my hands. "You said that you would do absolutely anything for your family, and you said that I was family too." I said, damning the notion of remaining strong when my voice broke. "And I get it. I get that I walked away from you first. But you left me for seven months. I have been waiting for you for seven whole months." I breathed. "Why today?" I asked softly.
I watched him draw in a deep breath and then lower his gaze.
"Because I didn't want to be alone today." He said, intertwining his hands.
Right.
Megan's death anniversary, Roxi mentioned it.
"I wanted to make sure you were doing okay." He added, raising his gaze once more. "And I knew that if you saw me, you were going to be like this." He added softly. "And I didn't want that."
I rolled my eyes, feeling tears cloud my vision.
"Keenan, what do you mean?" My voice quivered. He was quiet for a few seconds, and I watched him chew on the inside of his bottom lip for a moment before he spoke again.
"I don't have what it takes to make you happy, Kim." He said softly, standing up. "All I have done since the day we met is make you cry. I always make you cry." He said, his eyebrows narrowing. "And if letting you go means you get to smile more often, then it's something I'll do over and over again." He said, taking a small step towards me.
I flicked my tongue over my lower lip and then sniffed.
"Do you really believe that?" I asked, raising my gaze to meet his.
"I do." He said, taking another small step forward.
"Then why are you here, Keenan?" I asked, raising my hand to wipe a tear drop from my cheeks. "Of all the places you could have gone to, why did you come to here? Why did you come find me?" I asked and then let out an exasperated sigh.
"I don't-" He paused. "I wanted to make sure you were doing okay."
I bit down on my lower lip and then nodded.
"Then," I started softly. "Have you been happy? Without me?" I asked, my eyes never leaving his. "Keenan, do you smile more often now that I'm not around?" I asked him, my eyebrow raised. And I held my breath because this was it.
Whatever his answer was would be the determining factor of whether or not we still had a future together.
Because whatever his answer was would determine whether or not I was going to cry myself to sleep like I did the last time we saw each other. He took a step towards me, and then another, closing the space between us. And when he looked down at me, I could feel him pull me in. I could feel the heat emanating from body and my breath hitched. I held my breath, my toes tingling.
"Do you?" I asked again, quieter this time and he was quiet for a few more seconds before he spoke;
"No." He breathed and I let out a loud sigh of relief, not really caring how selfish it might have come off as. "I have been all shades of screwed up since the last time we saw each other, Kim." He said and I bit down on my lower lip.
For the first five seconds, I stood still in my spot, eyes locked with his beautiful, brown eyes. I had so many emotions running through me all at once and I had no idea how to express what I was feeling. There was so much I wanted to say, so much. But suddenly I couldn't seem to find the right way to start.
So instead of talking, I let my actions do the work for me.
I stood on my toes and then wrapped my hands around his neck and almost immediately, I felt him wrap his hand around my waist. I heard him sniff as he buried his head in the crook of my neck, his breath rugged.
"I'm sorry I left. Keenan." I whispered. "I'll never turn my back on you again. I promise."
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Our love was not the typical love at first sight kind of love. Our story was not the typical 'boy meets girl,boy loves girl kind of story. It wasn't star crossed love either. I never wanted this to happen... None of us did. But Keenan Monroe stole my heart.
My name is Kimberly H. Monroe, and this is my story.
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If you enjoy mystery or triller stories with a little bit of romance, then Please check out my new story; The Bridge in between. You can find it in my author profile. It's a good read, I promise.
Love, Chay.