Short A/N
So guys, in this chapter, you'll definitely notice I used seven months as the time span Keenan and Kimberly have been apart instead two years. That's because I made changes to the previous chapter and changed the two years to seven months. I'm indecisive, I know. Forgive me.
Keenan's POV
"Have a good nights rest, sir!" The doorman greeted cheerfully as I walked out of the company building. I offered him a curt nod, holding on tightly to my leather bag as I walked towards my car.
I reached for the keys in my pocket and then unlocked the doors, pulling the door to the drivers seat open before I climbed in. I fixed my phone onto the phone holder that hung firmly in the center of the steering wheel and then put the key in the ignition,the familiar sound of engine roaring to life hitting my ears as I started the car. I put the car on reverse and began to drive.
The past seven months had been... difficult for me.
From the moment I heard about Dre's death, to the series of interrogations and interviews, to Dre's funeral, and to the moment when I had taken his ashes to the sea.
Life had been a mess.
And I had had tons of regrets in my heart.
At first, there was a voice in my head that said I should have died in place of Dre. I felt like I should have known better.
I should have known that Dre was never going to be supportive of the idea of all of us going down together.
I had spent countless nights sitting on the edge of my bed, wondering if on the night of my graduation I had decided to go home with them instead of staying behind with my friends, all of this could have been averted somehow.
I had thought about how many good people were gone.
Good people like my father. Good people like Dre, and Megan with my unborn child, and Michelle, and Isabel with her unborn baby.
I had been a ship and I had been sinking, the tides and waves threatening to devour me.
And I knew that I was the only one who could stop myself from drowning. I knew that I was the only one who could pick myself up.
And then, one day, it had hit me that I was alive, and that I was alive for a reason. It had hit me that I was alive, and that tomorrow wasn't guaranteed. That I had to live while I still could, that I had to dust myself off.
It was difficult to.
But I was Keenan Monroe and when I set myself to it, I could do almost anything.
And after Roxi and William left New York City, I decided I needed a break from the city too. So I had taken a few necessities along with me, locked the doors to the mansion, and I left the city too.
What was meant to be a two weeks vacation had turned out to be a world tour for me. I had visited countless towns, and cities, and Islands.
But NYC would always be home to me.
My phone beeped and I glanced at it, letting out a soft breath when I saw it was just a remainder.
Kimberly.
It was today.
Not that I needed the alarm to remind me, I had the date etched in my brain.
"On the first day of every month." She had said. "I'll be waiting for you to come find me."
And on the first day of every month since then, I would wake up and all I would be able to think about was her. Kimberly.
I would be lying if I said I didn't think about her every single day, if I said I didn't miss her.
I did.
I missed the sound of her voice, and the scent of her skin. I missed her laugh. I missed the moments when we talked and she would be too nervous to look me in the eyes.
But today was different.
Because today was Meg's death anniversary.
Today made it six years since Megan passed away and today, like all the other years that had passed, I had woken up feeling like shit. I had woken up feeling like I didn't want to be alone.
And today, like all the other years, I had spent hours on the phone with Roxi and Jason, and they had been so insistent on filling me in on everything going on in their lives, even the most insignificant things. I knew it was their way of trying to make me feel better, their way of trying to make the day easier on me.
I had gone to the hotel a few times but I didn't have it in me to go up to her room and knock on the door.
Cause if I did, then what?
What would I say?
How would she react?
So each time, I had told myself 'next month,' 'I would go in next month,' 'I would make a move next month.'
One month turned into another, and another, and other.
And after the first five months passed, I realized that I was never going to.
Because I had realized that she was better off without me.
Seven months ago, I had told her that her life would be so much better without me in it. And now that we were apart, I could see that I had never been more correct about anything.
She looked happier now. She seemed... better. Healthier.
I had visited the bookstore where she now worked a few times and each time I had managed to get a glimpse at her, she wore a genuine smile on her face.
And each time, I would remember what she looked like the last time we saw each other.
I remembered how broken she looked, how sad she looked.
And I would never have it in me to ruin the life that she had now, the peace that she had now.
But on some nights like tonight, I found myself driving towards the hotel, hoping to run into her.
Maybe, just maybe if I bumped into her by accident then it would be a lot easier to start a conversation. How hard could it possibly be to say the words "I'm sorry?"
I bit down on my lower lip as I pulled over in front of Paradise Hotels and then breathed out softly.
I let my eyes scan through the building, placing one of my hands beneath my jaw to support the weight of my head when I leaned down on it.
So much had happened here.
So much.
And still, the hotel stood tall in all its glory, it's dark, shiny walls gleaming against the moonlight like so many painful memories hadn't taken place within its walls.
When I looked at the building, I could see Andre. And I could see Jason, and Roxi.
I could see the memories we had made there play in my head in full speed.
It didn't hurt anymore, no.
I wasn't angry, or hurt anymore.
Right now, I just wished.
I wished that I had done a better job as a big brother. I wished that there was something else I could have done, I wished that there was a way to bring Andre back. I wished I hadn't had to play dumb when Gerald questioned me about Andre's condition after his confession tape got out. Because if I had given the slightest impression that I knew something, then it would have been for nothing.
Dre would have died for nothing.
It still saddened me to think about Andre, about how he left this world. But I wasn't in pain anymore. I had come to terms with everything that had happened around me and my family in the past few years. I had finally let myself understand that dawdling in my misfortune could not change the way things happened.
I could only live.
I turned off the engine and then alighted from the car, glancing down at my wristwatch as I made for the entrance. I walked in and then looked around, feeling my feet come to a stop.
When Jason told me he had made some slight alterations to the hotel, I had no idea he meant that he had changed every single thing in the hotel. Everything down to the tiles on the ground and the flower vases that sat in the corners of the huge lobby.
It was as though he had been trying to get rid of every single thing that Dre came in contact with in the hotel.
But hanging on the wall right behind where the receptionist sat was a painting of Dre. Not just Dre. It was us, all of us.
And I could see the words 'family over everything' etched at the bottom of the paper in small, cursive writing.
I felt my breath hitch and I immediately let out a shaky breath.
"Oh my God! You're K-Keenan Monroe." The lady at the front desk breathed, snapping me out of my thoughts. "I'm-I'm sorry, Mr. Monroe." She said almost immediately, correcting herself. "R-room 444." She stuttered, lowering her gaze. I raised an eyebrow, my forehead creasing and she must have sensed my confusion because she quickly added. "Mrs. Monroe." She added and my eyebrows furrowed, realization dawning on me.
Kimberly.
She was talking about Kimberly.
"I-I'm just going to-" She stuttered, her hands shaky as she reached for the phone on the desk. I watched her amusedly as she pressed some buttons on the phone. "I'm just g-going to let her know you-you're here." She stammered and before I could utter another word she pushed the call button and then placed the phone close to her ear.
Not that I would have stopped her anyway.
It would have been too embarrassing to do so.
I placed a hand on my waist, cursing under my breath as I watched her with expectant eyebrows. She offered me an awkward smile after a moment passed, shaking her head.
"Let me t-try that again." She said and I let out a sigh of relief.
"Thank you," I glanced down at her name tag. "Melody. That's enough." I told her and I heard her stutter an apology as I turned around and then began to walk towards the doors.
Shit!
Shit!
Shit!
It was game over for me.
I knew that even if I walked away, Kimberly was going to find out that I stopped by anyway. And she was going to see me as a coward and a freak.
Shit!
I could have walked back to the desk and asked the secretary to never mention that I dropped by. Hell, I didn't even need even need to pay her off to be quiet. I had a feeling that if I asked her not to tell Kimberly, no matter how shady it was, she would take it to the grave.
But suddenly, I was reminded of the day that Meg died. Suddenly, I remembered the sound of her voice, the edge in her voice when she spoke. I remembered how her voice quivered when she said she had left the restaurant already.
I knew that I should have called her back.
Just like how I knew deep down in my heart that Kimberly didn't deserve the cold shoulder that I had been given to her.
I remembered the guilt I felt as I made for the airport. It was exactly how I felt right now. I had thought that I had all the time in the world. Time to buy her flowers, and her favorite chocolates.
I realized that I was doing the same thing over again. Walking away.
Same mistake, different woman.
I felt a slight pull in my chest, and I felt the air been squeezed right out of my lungs.
All this time , I had been waiting for an opportunity to bump in to her by accident.
And maybe this wasn't an accident but it was an opportunity.
I was already here. And she was going to find out that I had come by.
Suddenly, I was thinking that I could at least give her what I never gave to Megan.
I had to at least give her closure.
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If you enjoy mystery or triller stories with a little bit of romance, then Please check out my new story; The Bridge in between. You can find it in my author profile. It's a good read, I promise.
Love, Chay.