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apparently, will's fear wasn't as deep-rooted as he had thought- because all it took for it to completely dissipate from his body was a single glance at mike wheeler.
mike wheeler. his dark curls messy, his dark eyes cloudy with sleep. wearing gray sweatpants and an oversized red t-shirt- and still somehow looking completely, entirely gorgeous.
will hadn't realized quite how bad he had missed him. he hadn't realized how much one single look at this boy meant to him. just one look, one second standing in front of him, and everything already felt better.
he knew that the sheer force of his emotional reaction to mike was ridiculous. he knew he shouldn't feel this way about a boy he had only met weeks ago... but he just couldn't deny it. he couldn't deny that seeing mike made him so happy a smile started blossoming on his lips. because how could anything be really wrong when there was mike wheeler? when he was so close, when those dark eyes were focused on him and just him, when (if he had the courage) he could just reach up and kiss him, right there and then?
and then mike's eyes widened, his mouth opened slightly, and will was at once brought back to his miserable reality.
the smile dissolved before it was even really formed.
"will, i-" mike started, his voice thick with the same sleep that was still evident in his eyes. he must've heard it too because he cleared his throat, trying to rid his voice of the strange thickness.
"can i come in?" will asked. he didn't know what he expected mike to do, he didn't know why he wanted to go into mike's room at all- but he did. he just did.
there was a second of stunned silence and will saw mike's eyes scanning his face, and every time they landed on one of the bruises a bit of the sleepiness cleared from them, making way to a fog of fear. or maybe it was sadness, or anger- will really couldn't tell- but he did know that the new emotion in his eyes wasn't sleep at all.
"y-yeah, of course," mike finally said, moving to the side to let will enter.
and there it was: his room. looking exactly identical to the last time he had seen it, and yet feeling so different.
blue walls, posters, television. the glass wall was so dark it seemed almost like metal, and the black bedsheets were messy, the dark duvet was hanging half off the bed, thrown away in a haze. clothes were scattered on the floor and on the bed, practically everywhere possible except for the empty laundry basket sitting by the bathroom door.
same exact room. a room he had visited once, in an experience that was less than positive. the last time he was in here he had felt so out of place: the room was surprising and busy and he had been humiliated and really, all he wanted was to dash out.
now, he wanted to stay here forever. just as with mike, just being in the room for a second made everything feel a little better. this time, being in this room, being here with mike, he simply felt... he didn't know exactly what he felt. just that it was so, so much better.
"here, you want to-" mike asked, gesturing towards the messy bed. will nodded silently, and walked over to the edge of the bed. mike followed him, tossing clothes into a messy pile as he went. he was tydeing up... for him.
finally, will got to the edge of the bed, and just stood there, not sure whether he should ask permission or just sit down or...
"sit down, you dummy!" mike rid of him of his awkwardness with a swift smile and will sat down, feeling his cheeks burning up. could he even blush when his cheek was such a mess of bruises? will wondered idly, a strange and very badly-timed thought: and without even thinking about it he raised his hand and touched it to his cheek lightly as if he could determine its' color from a touch. a very stupid step, for multiple reasons:
1. obviously, he couldn't.
2. he probably looked like an idiot.
3. it hurt, quite badly: it actually felt almost like he was being punched again.
and so he removed the hand from his face as gracefully and quickly as he could- a hand that was now stained with blood. for some reason, the presence of the thick substance actually surprised him. blood felt too... mundane, too normal. you bleed when you fall off your bike, when you peel a scab off a bruise you really don't remember getting. you bleed in normal, everyday situations: not when you have just been punched by your boyfriend and are now sitting in the early hours of the morning in the bedroom of a maybe-nerdy-maybe-douchebag teen you may or may not be in love with. only, apparently, you do.
"just- umm- i'm going to get some stuff. sit tight for a second, okay?" mike said, his eyes darting around the room as he threw one last hoodie into the pile.
will nodded even though mike wasn't looking, disappearing through a door into what will could only assume was the bathroom. leaving will alone-
but before he could even fully realize mike was gone he was back, carrying a bag of ice and a small stack of towels, thrown over a first aid kit and a hoodie. he waled quickly to the bed, sitting in front of will. close, so close he could smell his oceany scent- god, how did he always smell like the ocean- turning his body towards will.
"turn," he instructed only it wasn't really an instruction: his voice was gentle, quiet... not forcing, requesting. so will did, crossing his legs on the bed so that he could face mike completely.
mike grabbed some of the ice from the bag and put it into one of the towels, and handed it to will.
"put this to your cheek, it's swelling pretty bad," he said, his voice calm now. still full of that same, strange, gentleness.
"thanks," will mumbled as he grabbed the towel, holding it to his cheek. it was cold and it made his bruise burn, but he knew mike was right, and that it would help, so he swallowed down his wince.
and now mike was opening the first aid kit, his fingers moving swiftly across the array of medicine until he found what he was looking for, putting a bit of the blue substance onto a different towel. both of them silent, everything silent, until mike's impromptu medication was complete.
"disinfectant," he finally explained, "it may sting a bit." will just nodded as mike moved the towel to his face, dragging it across the cuts with an unexpected delicacy.
they were silent again, and will was trying not to show how good it felt to have mike's hand on his face even if it was to spread a burning substance to his cuts... and suddenly that fleeting feeling he had sensed when just entering the room returned and he was finally able to identify it.
he felt safe.
sitting here with mike he felt safer than he had in a while. safer than with max and jane, safer than with the police.
sitting here with mike he felt like no one could hurt him, and that was the best feeling he could hope for.
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"can i ask?" mike said after a silent while when he seemed to be almost done and the ice in will's towel more water than anything solid by now.
of course, will knew exactly what he meant, and as much as he didn't want to talk about it he knew he kind of had to. it just seemed so strange: tyler didn't seem real. he didn't seem to exist in the same reality as mike, he didn't seem to exist at all right now. that fear he had felt, the pain- they all seemed fake. he just felt like some bizarre nightmare he was yet to completely shrug off...
only he wasn't. and avoiding the fact that he was very much real and very much a threat to him wouldn't do any good.
"y-yes. it was him," he said quietly.
mike pulled the towel away at once, looking to the side so that his face was hidden from sight. will knew he was probably going to be mad, bracing himself for whatever sign of anger the dark-haired boy may display- but when mike turned back, the only feeling in his face was pure hurt. pain, even.
"i knew it. i'm so sorry, will. god, i'm such a moron!" he said, clasping his hands to his forehead, letting the towel fall to the bed.
his reaction was far from what will was expecting. "it's not your fault. how could it be?" it was so peculiar he even had to say it in the first place, but mike seemed to actually think this had something to do with him.
"it is though," mike said, "it is and i'm so, so, sorry." he removed his hands from his face, his eyes anguished.
"no, mike, it's not-" will tried again, but mike cut in before he could complete his sentence.
"it is, because i knew what he was capable of and i still did nothing to protect you. i'm sorry will, i'm so so sorry."
"what- what are you talking about," will's voice turned quieter, weaker: how could he know? there's no way he knew, no way anyone had known- and then, a memory hit.
of being asked out, of flowers for algernon. of mike's eyes, exhibiting distress so similar to the one staining his expression right now, telling him tyler brady green wasn't a good guy... and him writing it off as pettiness.
only, turns out it wasn't.
"well," mike said, taking a deep breath before continuing, "you see, there was sort of an... umm... incident with tyler two years ago."
mike stopped for a second, evidently trying to gather his thoughts. will kept silent, waiting- and finally, mike spoke again.
"you've met my friend lucas, but what you don't know is that there used to be a third member to our friend group. well, i guess it's more of a friendship now... nevermind. what i meant to say is that we used to have another friend named dustin."
at the name, mike averted his eyes to the floor.
"dustin was the first guy to come out at school, telling everyone he was pan all the way back in 8th grade. no one bullied him or teased him, because no one could ever be mean to dustin. he was the best, honestly. always had a joke, always in a good mood." he smiled lightly, and will could tell he really loved that dustin guy. but he also knew this story wouldn't end well, and so he wasn't surprised when the smile collapsed at once.
"sometime around 10th grade dustin and tyler started dating- only, tyler wasn't out so they didn't tell anyone. except for me and lucas, because dustin just couldn't help telling us. they were so happy, he was so happy, and it was all good. in the beginning, at least."
he took another deep breath, and finally looked back up at will.
"after a few months though, something... changed. dustin didn't really hang out with us anymore, he stopped joking around. he always looked kind of irritated, he'd snap- only now i know he was just scared. we tried to figure out what was wrong, we really did, but how could we know that tyler..." he trailed off.
"he ended up telling us what tyler was doing to him. i won't go into details because it's a very long and messy story, but he was scared and didn't want us to tell anyone. we thought about it, and realized we had to. for him. so lucas and i went to the station in town and told them everything... but it was too little too late."
"they found dustin the next morning. he had-" mike shook his head, and will knew what it was that he wasn't saying, and felt sick to his stomach.
"well, you get it. he didn't die but he was damn close. after that, his mom and him moved away, to new york. we still see dustin from time to time, and he's doing better! he's actually got a girlfriend now, and he seemes happy again so it all sort of worked out but it could've ended horribly just as easily."
now mike was looking at will intently, looking guily and so, so sad. "so i'm sorry. i'm sorry i let him even get close to you, i'm sorry i didn't warn you, i'm sorry i didn't do anything to protect you. i'm so sorry, will."
will was having a tough time digesting all this information. "you did warn me. tried, at least. i was just too petty to listen."
mike shook his head again. "no, i should've done more, i should've noticed sooner, i'm sorry-"
"mike," will interjected quietly, and before he really noticed what he was doing he put his hand to mike's cheek. it was enough to get mike to stop talking.
"don't be sorry because this is not your fault at all. it's his and only his. not my fault, not your fault. just tyler's fault." because it was, it truly was. and mike didnt seem completely convinced but he nodded anyways.
will's hand was still on his cheek, and he didn't really want to take it off and mike didn't seem to mind it either, because he leaned against it and closed his eyes for a second, taking a breath.
"i'm really glad you're here," he said when his eyes opened again, and will nodded, feeling a hint of his smile return. because he was glad too. really glad, and he knew he didn't need to say it for mike to know, and he knew what was supposed to happen now.
he knew mike was going to lean in, and he knew that their kiss would be the absolute best thing that ever happened to him in his life. he knew that kissing mike would be incredible, and he knew how much he wanted to do it.
but he also knew that he didn't want to do it now, because they deserved better. because their first kiss shouldn't be hanging in tyler's menacing shadow, it shouldn't be now when everything was this bad, not when will couldn't feel half his face, not when mike looked like he was going to cry in any moment.
so he acted before mike could, and instead of leaning in for a kiss he removed his hand and leaned his head against mike's shoulder.
mike didnt protest. he just started storking will's hair, not saying a word- and will could tell he got the message, and he got how much will needed this... he got will. he really truly got him.
and that's when will started to cry.
it was the first time he had cried all through this terrible night. first time he cried in a pretty long time, but he couldn't hold it in any longer. he cried because it was so horrible and so good all at the same time, and he cried because his face hurt, and he cried because he was tired, and he cried because he missed his mom, and he cried because he was scared and because he really did want to kiss mike.
mike didn't flinch away, he didn't try to talk him out of crying. he just kept stroking his hair, saying only "it's all gonna be okay. it's all okay now," over and over again.
so will cried until he was all cried out, and when he was done and his eyes were so dry it hurt and his head was aching from all the tears, he felt his eyes fluttering, the exhaustion he had felt before washing over him in a wave so strong he couldn't really do anything to stop his eyes from closing.
and right before he drifted off completely he heard mike add a new component to his calm soothing chants: "you're safe now, will, you're safe with me."
and maybe that's why he was able to sleep finally, feeling calmer than he had in a while: because he knew he was.
he was safe with mike.
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𝐨𝐜𝐨𝐭𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟒𝐭𝐡. 𝟐𝟖𝟎𝟗 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬.
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐬: remember when i was actually good at posting? sigh school will be the end of me. anywayyy hope you liked this:))