𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐣𝐨𝐛; byler

t w e n t y - f o u r

▪ ▪ ▪ 

the next week didn't pass nearly as quickly.

because everything was so unbelievably different- and at the same time, it was all exactly the same. and that sameness, that was the real scary part.

tyler still met him under his house and walked him to the restaurant every morning. he still picked him up at night, still stayed with him until the smallest hours of the night. will still got hot chocolate and books and his hugs and smiles and kisses-

but he also got hit. not many times, but just enough to keep him frozen with fear. and every time tyler had a reason: whether will had taken too long to come downstairs, or his bathing suit was too short, or he had looked at another boy at the beach.

and just as will had predicted, after a few times, tyler stopped even saying sorry.

and yeah, the punches were terrible and the pain was hideous... but they weren't what made will's stomach freeze with fear.

it really was the sameness.  because in many aspects, nothing really changed at all. and that made him realize how blind he had been, how far along he had let himself go down a path he never intended to go.

. how he had missed a million stop signs, and now was too tangled in this horrible, terrifying web to get out.  

it was like he belonged to tyler. anything he did without him he had to ask tyler's permission for: no hangouts with max and jane, no alone time to read, no alone time at all-

but he hadn't gotten that before either. and now that fear that kept popping up in his mind actually made sense, because even before the physical abuse started tyler had been, in many ways, abusing will.

and will couldn't get over how atrociously dumb, how painfully ignorant he had been.

and he couldn't let that frozen fear in his stomach to fade.

and he couldn't get out.

but worst of all, he couldn't see mike. 

and silly as it sounded, this was maybe the most difficult one of them all.
because he knew, he just knew that mike would make him everything okay. that mike would make tyler leave, and hug him so tight there wouldn't be room for the frozen fear.

but he couldn't. he couldn't get away for long enough to see mike, and even when it was early morning and he couldn't sleep and all he wanted to do was tiptoe over to mike's room, knowing the curly haired boy was so close he would be there in a minute if he called out- he just couldn't.

maybe it was fear of what tyler would do if he found out. 

or maybe it was just- he was too embarrassed. he was too embarrassed to admit that he was absolutely, entirely horrified by the brown-haired smiling boy that owned the bookstore.
maybe he was too embarrassed to admit how entirely helpless he was.

but god, he missed mike. he saw mike trying to catch him in the hall, trying to talk to him: he knew mike was confused. after all, one day he had claimed to forgive him and spent an hour, the best hour he could remember having, with him and the next he was completely ignoring him.