Wist
What I read in books about love was like a total language to learn, a language that would make you learn how to make your beloved person happy, satisfied and feeling being loved correctly, feeling appreciated.
It was written in a book
"We have long known that in early childhood development each child develops unique emotional patterns. Some children, for example, develop a pattern of low self-esteem whereas others have healthy self-esteem. Some develop emotional patterns of insecurity whereas others grow up feeling secure. Some children grow up feeling loved, wanted, and appreciated, yet others grow up feeling unloved, unwanted, and unappreciated.
The children who feel loved by their parents and peers will develop a primary emotional love language based on their unique psychological makeup and the way their parents and other significant persons expressed love to them. They will speak and understand one primary love language. They may later learn a secondary love language, but they will always feel most comfortable with their primary language. Children who do not feel loved by their parents and peers will also develop a primary love language.
However, it will be somewhat distorted in much the same way as some children may learn poor grammar and have an underdeveloped vocabulary. That poor programming does not mean they cannot become good communicators. But it does mean they will have to work at it more diligently than those who had a more positive model. Likewise, children who grow up with an underdeveloped sense of emotional love can also come to feel loved and to communicate love, but they will have to work at it more diligently than those who grew up in a healthy, loving atmosphere."
From the book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts.
It was all true but, is that why I never fell in love? Insecurity?
But there was something happening, the moment I hear Prouker's voice the world stop, I freeze, I don't get why but maybe I want to break this shell and know the real Prouker; because what I knew about him seemed mostly everything and its opposite; like hypocrite and gentleman, smiling and smirking, willing and ignoring. I was interested in getting to know this mystery, this total weird case no one ever knew. Will he break my heart? But Loncent he is kind and amazing, what about him? Do I like 2 guys? I am in big trouble.
Since they left, I had been online reading books and taking favourite parts to put it on my blog with another identity, till notifications popped up; a friend request. Guess who? Loncent, of course, I told you the nice one, I thought and then asked mom, she told me to accept, they are your neighbours after all. I accepted.
A minute after that he texted
"Free tomorrow to go out? "
"Nah. Can't have some papers to sort out in the government and I don't go out with guys. "
" Okay, then it's a yes. your mom won't refuse me helping 😜 ; we are neighbours and I have my ways and I will go with you, it won't take 5 minutes and we could get some coffee together. "
For me, it would take ages, but he could what he wants with his bribe and authority, it was so damn easy " Okay, see you at 8. "