the album over view ( called - shush)
1 - shut the up
this song calls out people who comment on pictures and posts. it also comments out on betrayals i have had in secret ways. the chorus says 'so if its not nice , shut the fuck up'. it received a lot of minor controversy at first. but then it received a lot of praise for its direct call out and the last line. the last line was really dramatic , it says ' no really , keep commenting until you are sued or your comments are tattooed in my mind as i lie in my grave."that caused so much stir up. the members really liked it and a lot of my friends said they really liked it too.it had no singing parts , it was all rap.
2 - i see you
this song was just for sasaengs and reporters. a lot if the lines were direct references to articles. with quotes such as ' the two were seen in seoul' or ' thousands turned up at the airport'. it also had references to when people were found in my hotel room and balcony.in the bridge of the song , it also says ' you call yourself a fan , so why do you make me so unhappy. if you really care for me , you would give me space. and hey you, yeah you who tries to ruin my career , no one cares for your shitty article, we all know who paid for you to release it". when i tell you i nearly drove all my sasaengs insane. one of them even called me out on her social media, but fans reported her account to twitter and they got it removed.
3 - diamond challenge
this was specifically for the people who showed up at the hospital that night. only for them. it was a song that had no rap , just singing. it mentioned parts such as 'lets turn this into a fashion show if you care that much'. it also had quotes such as ' here's your seat , here's your popcorn , my concert will begin here at the doors of a hospital' or ' dont send undercover nurses , no ones is dumb enough to not see'.but my favourite quote was ' next time , come , you can see me as i get dragged out to the cemetery, would that bring enough views and click to make you realise how stupid you look or will it boost your greed'.i am telling you now , i was shocked by the response.
4 - inure
the word itself means to grow accepting of what something is, despite its negativity.this song was about flowers...but in reality it was about how i presented myself. it said that 'the thorns are fake , the rose is weak'. it meant just that , this facade of happiness , friendship and who i am as a person in the media....isnt it. ' water the rose , watch it break apart whilst you frantically try to stick it back together'. this part was to explain , that maybe if you listened to me as a person and watch what i release , it would help you realise who i acctually am.
5 - me?
this song is the opposite of everything i have worked for with bts. the entire love yourself series. the song is an epitome of self loath and she esteem issues.but most people dont even realise that , that was the meaning of the song.the lyrics were mostly about how i felt as that i cant practise what i preach and it was true.i think the line that stuck out the most to me was ' i would slap you but i dont know in which face'.here i meant to myself.i would do that to myself , but i dont know which side of me...the public side or the real side to me. most people thought the song was about how harry had betrayed me , but the song had nothing to do with him.
6 - Ineffable
girl let me tell you , this song was just calling out most interviewers i have ever had. it had lines such as ' why am i famous in your country? shut up, you just want me to smile at your racist mind" or " an entire album in your language? i can speak 8 languages and you cant even say hello in my korean or any other language'. it had korean and english wordplays and rm said it was his favourite song on the album.the word itself means 'too great or extreme to be expressed or described in words' and it relays directly to the main line that says ' there are 2 million words i know but none can describe how much i hate you".
7 - Hiraeth
this is a welsh word that means ' homesickness for a place that does not exist". it spoke about a girl who just kept running whilst looking back.the girl was going somewhere , but wanted to go back, each destination unknown.it was the song that jungkook and taehyung overheard. i sent jungkook and 20 second teaser of it when he asked me for it later on that day , it was the song he cried to. he said "eunha , this is spring days and eights child".
8 - Clinomania
this was a one minute long song that was mostly piano and violin and only about 20 seconds of vocals.i remember making this at like 5am after not sleeping for three days.the word itself means the desire to stay in bed
9 - komorebi
this is a japanese words that means 'the sunlight that filters between the trees'.the song had a small rap section in it .it was mostly about finding the light in forests of darkness which relayed to how idols see fans as their 'light' in their forest of darkness. but also how fans see idols as their 'light' in their forest of darkness.
10 - retroubailles
this was a french word that meant 'the happiness after meeting again after a long time'. i just spoke of happy times i had with fans. i mentioned how i missed concerts or the chanting before i went onstage. i said that i missed the fan meetings and seeing the lightsticks.
overall - the album did really well. it blew off all other songs off the charts world-wide.it also made an extreme amount of money, i nearly made directly 2million dollars profit within the first week or release alone. i was the only person who had heard the songs and made them , so it went directly to my account.the company staff were pleased with it and so were critics.netizens began dragging a few of the lyrics and said that it was too much or that i was just acting fake...fans didnt take it well and shut that chat forum down immidiently.
june 14 2020
i spent most of today at a studio with bighit staff members. i was overviewing the entire live recording of bang bang con. i was behind the camera crew and i was just watching as yoona stood behind me overviewing statistics on her iPad.
it was fun , i was practically one of the few live audience members...as in me and the other staff.
i was standing the entire time , whilst in fucking heels. i was too busy watching i didnt even realise.once the shoot ended , i walked to a green room and sat on the sofa.
yoona: here are the reports on the album drop and current statistics for the ........
i listened to her as she spoke for about ten minutes , she then hands me her iPad and leaves the room on a phone call. i try reading through everything , but i was so tired i just sent it to my phone and got up to head the camera crew with the wires.i spent about thirty minutes just clearing the main studio then i was taken by a few photographers to have photos taken on the set of the concert.
once the boys finished getting changed and mentally prepared , i went to see them and congratulate them on the success. i spoke to jin hyung for a bit in private and i even spoke to the 'bangtan bomb' cameras.
yoona: all the reporters are outside.are you guys ready?eunha , we need you to leave first ,the van will be pointed out to you by jaejoon. david is driving and jaejoon will go with you to the office.
i nod and follow her out after saying goodbye to the everyone.
i walked outside and put on my face mask and hat . i waved to the cameras and heard jaejoon call my name
jaejoon: here follow me.
he stood in front of my and i kept my head low as i followed his shoes.we got to the car , he opened the door and held it open for me whilst i got in. he followed by afterwards.
we began driving and weren't straight to the office. i waled directly into a meeting on the concerts success and effects. we began off with the usual , revenue and profit . then we moved onto different things like , how will my concert be effected by this concert after about three hours of sitting and talking the meeting was dismissed with a round of applause.
i went up to my office and slouched in my chair. a knock on the door followed by footsteps.
me: yeah , i mean you can come in i guess or just walk in .whatever. dont even knock next time.
jaejoon: ugh , be quiet no one cares. haha
i laughed at his sarcastic comment
jaejoon: we haven't ate and we have been up since like 3am.
me: correction , you have. i didnt sleep.
jaejoon: i saw a really cool restaurant in gangnam last week when i went with david and security team 4. wanna go ?
me: private booths there?
jaejoon: no , but it is really empty at this time.wanna go?
me: i dont know i have loads of work to do , i have to talk to that japan vogue again as well as those american artists who have been pissing me off.maybe later?
jaejoon: do you want to do that in the car? we can take my car and i will drive. its been years since we last had like a company dinner with each other or even hung out alone. pleaseeee, for me.
me: fucks sake , thats emotionally manipulative and practically guilting me into going. its not cool. i will bring my computer and laptop. you call yoona and inform her and david.lets go then.
i got up and followed him out of the office and to the car park.
jaejoon: i got a new car. isn't it nice?
me: ahhhh the black mercedes. it is nice. congratulations.
i got into the car and immidiently got my computer out as i began writing and reading .
me: hyung , hyung stop the car real quick at the upcoming petrol station please.
he pulled over and i opened the car door.
jaejoon: ah , you feel sick? this happens all the time , just do the work later..
i rolled my eyes in frustration that this would be put back. i closed the door and put away my computer.he started the car and we drove. we got to gangnam and after , what seemed liked , hours he finally found parking.
i got out of the car and closed the door behind me.it was currently work hours , so apart from a few people , the area was mostly empty. i realised that there were mostly families and older people. it also means i am less likely to get noticed. jaejoon led me to the restaurant whilst i was talking to jungkook over the phone about the songs he had sent to me a while ago.
jaejoon: yes a table for two please...please can you make it somewhere discreet and less noticeable. thank you.
i followed him and thanked the staff member who took us to our seats.i sat down and said goodbye to jungkook.
me: well then... hello. what are you getting?
we talk a bit about what we were going to get and then a staff member came to take our order.
jaejoon ordered a dish and then came my turn to order.i swear i practised ordering my dish like ten times in my head and once out loud. it was so embarrassing.
me: uh , umm...i will have a bibimbap please and a bottle of lemonade and coke...thank you.
"what minced meat would you like?there is lamb , pork or craw fish instead. for vegans we offer tofu"
i looked at jaejoon awkwardly. i never knew that there could be options in restaurants
me: just the lamb please.
" your order will be with you shortly. but , miss , you can take off your mask now. we are hygeinic and it will make it easier for you to eat."
me: ah , of course. i will do, dont worry.thank you , haha
the staff member bowed and left.
jaejoon: did you hear what happened to the security guard you kicked out on LA? he got a job in yg entertainment. he works for maya now , as her top guard.
me: really?
jaejoon: yeah , i couldn't believe it. the yg entertainment staff know he has sassing connections so why would they let him work there?
me: beats me.
the staff member walks out from behind a door and comes to us with our drinks. he places a lemonade and glass bottle of coke in front of me. then follows up with placing a bottle of sprite in front of jaejoon.
the staff member leaves again. i look around the restaurant. there was a girl by herself sitting eating some dish, she seemed young. i looked around and saw a family of four , two young kids, probably barely toddlers.i was facing jaejoon and the wall behind him.
jaejoon: its okay , when we walked past i saw the girl texting on her phone. she had a super junior member as her wallpaper. you cant take off your face mask.
i hesitated before taking off my face mask. i placed it on the seat to my right and relaxed a bit.i switched to english to continue talking to him.
me: if some delulu takes pictures and dispatch says we are fucking married i might just kill my self i swear to god.
he laughed
me: your laughing , but boy , my entire career is on the line. stop laughing you are getting attention on yourself and me.
he couldnt stop laughing. his laugh was contagious and i could stop myself.not until we heard a crash and glass shatter .i got really shocked and i was startled.
jaejoon: are you okay? what happened? do we need to leave?
i looked up and saw a waiter on the floor with glass shards around him as well as a tray.his mangers and colleagues were staring at him. but he was staring at me.i grabbed my mask and put it back on before rushing to him.
me: get up , you are going to get hurt.
the managers ran up to me , as did jaejoon.he helped up the waiter and told me to get back to my seat.
i sat back down as they took the waiter to get changed and check if he is hurt or not.
jaejoon: are you insane? you could have gotten hurt!
me: he was just trying to bring glasses to us for our drinks. i didnt mean to scare him like , wow , am i that ugly?
jaejoon: hahahahah , no its not that. i think he was just startled to see you.like...you are diamond...thats not the average person....we can leave if you want.
i looked at him and saw how sincere he was with the look in his eyes.he dragged me out here for my benefit and tried to be as nice as possible , despite how rude i was at times...
me: no its fine. you like this restaurant , right? so lets stay. i will just keep the mask on until we start eating.
his face lit up. we carried on talking for a bit about the bangbangcon until the waiter reappeared.
he avoided eye contact at all times and silently placed our food on the table.
me:i am sorry for startling you earlier.
" no , its really not your fault.i didn't recognise you earlier, but i knew you looked familiar"
me: is it because of how ugly i am in real life or how i dont have filters on? hahahahaha , i am joking
"no , its just that i am a really big fan of you. i even have two tattoos of you"
me: what! no way , could i see?!
he rolls up his sleeve and shows me a lyric tattoo("the thorns are fake and the rose is weak").
me: oh , this is from the new album i dropped
"yes , the one where you had a live with jungkook and v...yes. i got it as soon as i heard the song. i really liked the album , i hope you drop more songs that call out the wrong things with our world more often in such a direct way...this album was needed."
he showed me the other tattoo and it was a small coloured one of the vogue cover . it was really small and plain but it was stunning.
me:holy shit , that is the nicest tattoo i have seen. could i take a picture of this , please?
he agreed , i handed him my phone and he took a picture of the tattoo himself.
" i , i need to hide them again , because my managers could fire me if they saw me parading it to customers. "
'ah excuse me , could we get a bottle of sprite please?'
he got called away and me and jaejoon were left alone to eat in private.
jaejoon started talking about tattoos and how he wanted one someday.
me: i really want tattoos. i will definitely get them some day , i have already planned them out but i am not getting them yet.
jaejoon: i might get one sometime this year. i don't know what though.
me: yo , but jungkook hyungs tattoos and jimin hyungs tattoos are so nice. oh and hyung unnie and chaeyoung unnie. jk hyung has like really meaningful tattoos and them jimin hyung has tattoos of era's he really liked , i think. i never got to task him about it. but hyuna unnie and chaeyoung unnie have colourful tattoos that are so pretty. i really like them.
we finished our food after talking about car brands , weirdly enough and then i got up and payed for our meal.
jaejoon: you should have let me pay.
me: dont even have the everyday asian adult argument with me on who pays and who doesn't. you said it was a company style dinner. so i am paying. now can you go and grab your stuff so we can leave.
before i left the waiter ran up to me and asked for a photo.
jaejoon: lots of people might see you , its not safe.
me: uhh , its okay , can we just do it over there whilst facing the wall so no one will see
he obliged and i went and quickly took a photo with him.we then left and walked towards the car.
me: hyung....something feels off....i feel like we are being followed.
jaejoon; i didnt notice anyone in the restaurant...why?should i can for a security team? or david?
me: i dont know, i think someone is trailing us.no , no its fine. it just feels off.can we stop by that store first? i want to buy some face masks and a ice lolly.
he took me inside the store and i bought what i went for. we went back to the car, in there i opened the ice lolly and ate it whilst he drove me back to the office.i went up to the dance practise rooms and greeted staff before watching an overview of the stay gold performance.yoona then came to my room and told me to go with her to the next meeting which was all about the series i just released on Weverese , as a continuation of the film.
they began off with the trends and money made from it, the to the impacts on the kpop and documentary industries and how it competes with twice documentary. we wrapped up the meeting soon and i was the last out of the room as i was still typing up stuff.
after that i went and spoke tot he marketing team about i-land and the posters...they were off and i didnt even know what to say about it because they were already printed and ready for release...like how do i even?we decided just to leave it and deal with the after effects instead of taking them back in.
it was almost 6pm by this time and i went downstairs to the practise rooms , i watch as trainees or members danced. i went into the artist lounge room (the one with the blue sofa). i sat on the sofa and stared at the empty distance. i began thinking about some stuff and then th door opens. namjoon and yoongi walk in.
they sit down with me and we get into a deep conversation about white privledge and white saviorism. then we went on and spoke about how our fans had effected the racism in america and worldwide, like the who hashtags.i got really passionate about it and i was ranting and venting about how fed up i was with the world, up and until the door opens and yoona walks in .
me: i swear on my life , i know that look and if some says that i have a bullshit scandal or some next up pointless rumour i might just loose the remaining braincells .
namjoon and yoongi laughed at what i said and yoona handed me her iPad and it showed an article that stated that maya broke up with harry
me: oh , okay that's cool. anyway , so i saw a few tiktoks about how the clown of american is going to tulsa and kpop fans are going to -
yoona: oh and you need to hold a live sometime today because you told me to remind you of it.
i sighed and turned to her and nodded.
yoona: do it okay! I'm going upstairs then , bye guys
we said bye to her and i forgot what i was saying.
i spoke to the members and we decided that we wanted to hold a live now, but they decided to stay in the background and silent as they watched
i got my phone out and went live on my channel.
me: hello , everyone its me diamond. how have you all been?
i read a few comments then said ' should we do a q and a'
i got a few questions and i aswered them
me: my current playlist? well i got my phone in england and i downloaded spotify there, hopefully spotify launches in korea too soon. if they open it here ....that would be very smart because streaming culture is big here.oh isn't the launch date this year though?
namjoon nods behind the camera
me: ah it is, well i would get it. now i organise my playlists by emoji.i have ten playlists but i mostly listen to four of them. i have a sad playlists with this emoji. a sleeping playlists , a purple heart playlist, a music note playlists (its just the songs or instrumentals).oh and i have a movie playlists that has movie songs and barbie songs , a kpop playlist with 700 songs and a non kpop playlists. i also have a playlists dedicated to an artist i really like. but the one i listen to all the time is the one with the bread emoji.its got my current favourite songs.
i wanted to show them the playlists, but my phone was recording.
me: i would show you but , my phone ...anyway , i remember the songs on it.there are 14 songs on it."wannabe' by itzy, 'blinding lights ' by the weeknd, g idles' 'oh my god', 'okay dokey' from show me the money 4, 'eight' by iu untie and suga hyung....." daechwita" ,"what do you think?" , and "strange" from agust d 2 . but my current favourites are "sweet night"(by v ), "urs" (by NIKI ), "me and the moon" (by tatiana maenza ), 'red moon'(by kard ) and 'bad habits ' (by shaun. )now you must have realised , oh there is one still left? well my current favourite song is "who are you?" by lauv hyung , jungkook hyung and jimin hyung.
i read a few comments before continuing
me: my favourite food? recently i have been obsessed with this pizza from costco , its a frozen pizza and its the only thing i can be bothered to prepare and its taste professional.like what? normally frozen pizza tastes cheap and basic , but this one tastes fancy and its soooo nice.i recommend it 100 percent.
'diamond your blazer is sold out online!!!tell fans to stop buying it!'
me: its sold out? what?
' who was the fight with?'
i ignored that comment
'noona you look so pretty'
i smiled at that and then answered another question before reading more comments
me: film a vlog? what do you mean by that? like a day in my life vlog? or one when i go outside and i show you how i spent my time outside?ahhhh, the outside one...okay. i promise you i will get to it and release it soon.are you guys ready for the concert? its in two days time.i hope you guys like it , we spent a lot of time into preparing it.
' tell us about the album please!!!'
me: umm... so someone asked me to talk about the album that i just dropped.i dropped that album , like some do with mixtapes. it isn't a professional album with shootings and promotions and tours and everything like that. it is just some songs i released and that's that. i hope that those curious will just listen to the songs and the lyrics. actually i spoke about this once to a friend , i said that i wanted to drop this album and never talk about it. i also said that to the company and other friends. so i will do that.
'can you sing please!!!'
me: should i put on a song?i don't have a phone or a device with me.
yoongi waved his arms in the background and pointed to his phone. he opened the phone and handed me it.
he had a samsung in his other hand , i had his real phone..the iPhone.
where's the music app? uhhh? ah here is a youtube. i opened it and searched for "who are you" lauv ft bts lyrics...i pressed the first one and a bts and samsung advertisement came on...whilst i was holding a iPhone.
i turned down the volume and faked talking to the cameras as the two buffoons in the background died laughing.i skipped it as soon as it got to the five second mark and then i played it and sung along. it is one of the most beautiful songs i have ever heard. half way through singing , the room's door opened and soobin and kai walk in with papers in their hand.i stopped my singing and said "im holding a live right now , thank you" and then namjoon went and told them to just be quiet whilst i finish up the song.
i read a few more comments and then answered the final questions
me: my most played songs?for now , i would say the songs on my bread playlist. i dont even know why i choose that emoticon , hahaha i know its a bit weird....'diamond what would you do if one day you were born as a boy?". i dont know specifically?
i knew what i would do in real life , but i could say it- use the privileges i would be given by society
me: maybe just continue with my day."what drama have you recently watched?" ohhh i watched a film on netflix recently, it was a awakening i swear to you. but i cant say the name of the show...oh my favourite drama is sky castle though! you must watch it ! i also watched friends , around january , the entire series in a month or so because i thought they were removing it from netflix.but they didnt , but it was still fun to watch. this week i watched hassan minhaj's new series of patriot act , its really really good. its number one for me, always will be. i am a huge fan of hassan minhaj. please watch his series please!!!
DEADASS WATCH IT IF YOU HAVE FREE TIME IT TEACHES YOU SO MUCH MORE ABOUT THE WORLD THAN SCHOOL OR NEWS!!!! WATCH IT !
me:ahh , thats a interesting question, something i really want right now? i really want a nintendo switch. i had a nintendo game console thing , the burgundy one when i was younger and i lo ed it so much and recently i have seen loads of people with it and i watched youtube videos of people playing with it and i really want one. but i always forget to buy it , maybe when i do the day off vlog , i will go and buy one.
i need to tell yoona to reschedule my meetings tomorrow for another day then or earlier in the day so i can film the vlog that the fans want.i will tell her as soon as this is finished.
me: a problem i have?? this is a serious problem , please dont laugh at me when i say this. i swear to you i never have a working card....like ever. i have loads of bank cards because my dad is in charge of it for me right now , but i have a 'main' one that i use. so when i leave the house , i take my phone , that card , maybe a bus pass and thats it.when i have bag , its normally empty and its just for the look or outfit. but this card just aggravates me so much. the first time i got it was in may of 2019 i think and i didn't put any money in it and i took it out and i went to pay for something and i forgot there was no money so the card got blocked. then after like five months i finally went and got another one, then i use it in paris for fashion week when i wanted to buy a bag and it gets blocked again because that store didnt use that card and the company thought it was stolen. so i got a new one in january , i thought it had the exact same pin and i go out to get coffee before going back to my hotel and ready for this event and the card gets blocked....AGAIN! i didnt even know why , i put in the password and it declined, three times , whilst i was buying drinks for all the staff...it was so embarrassing i think about it at night sometimes. then around april , i was talking to my parents on the phone and they tell me that a separate letter came to their house with the new pin and they forgot to tell me about it for five whole months!!! anyway , so i need to get another card , maybe i will do it today once i finish the live.
the viewers began laughing at the story and so did the four idols who were in the room with me. they held their laughs in and
me: "why dont you get a new phone? the iPhone 7 is so old!" i dont even know, i probably should but i have grow attached to it, it never breaks no matter what i do to it . like sometimes i drop my phone down stairs and on marble floors and it is fine. it still works and somehow i am still happy with it , i might get a phone later this year because recently whenever i use my phone it has this problem...its not good. i promise i will , if you guys dont like it.
"wahhhhh , it never breaks!!!!"
me: well actually , one time something happened....i accidentally dropped it down the toilet at a restaurant when i went into it just to get tissues. i swear to you , i have never had such a fast reaction in my life. i grabbed it straight out and washed it.then i used a antibacterial hand gel and tissues to clean it. thankfully the water in the toilet was clear , if you know what i mean. then my closest friend came into the toilet saying her parents were worried i got lost or something , but no , it was just that i could get tissues like a normal person...i just had to drop my phone into it. but its okay , once i was home i left it to dry and turned it on after a lot of contemplation and it still worked...maybe thats why it hasn't broken really badly since i got it.do not try to drop your phone into the toilet though , its not ideal.
yoongi held out his phone and showed me the time. i might be late , i need to end this soon.
me: everyone , i hope you had fun today. i miss you all too much , especially concerts and seeing you guys worldwide. its been a while since i have spoke to you and i really hope that i somehow manage to regulate our lives. oh and i promised to do that vlog that you all wanted , so i will do it straight away okay?!!! byeeeeee.
i ended the live and texted yoona about the vlog i had promised and asked her to reschedule my meetings for later today instead.i only had one meeting tommorow and that was with the PR team about a few of the trends in the past few days surrounding our artists and recent political activities. she texted me back saying that the team were ready for a meeting right now , to that i said i would be there soon
me: guys, i have a reshceduled meeting from tommorow to now , so i will see you guys tommorow , or whenever.
soobin: are you filming that vlog you talked about?
me: yeah , i promised. also namjoon hyung tell jungkook hyung that i am sending him an email with his songs and what i am adding to it later tonight. ask him to look through it tommorow morning...oh and i added the song we talked about to the album officially , it will be in the briefing tommorow.
kai: you seem so busy now a days.
me: its the same as usual , just now its all in this office...acctually no , because now we have you guys and seventeen , guest w and gfriend too...ummm , a big difference from when we weren't even given changing room sin the award shows or music shows.
soobin:i fell bad for you guys back then , especially you because it was all on your hands. i wish the industry was nicer
me: the kpop industry was threatened and fearful of bts and i. we just wanted a seat at the kpop industry table. just a single seat , we would have shared it and been contempt...but they didnt let us , so we built out own restaurant and it has millions of tables. also the restaurant is worldwide. they blocked us from everything , so we paved our on path ...now they want to walk it. embarrassing really.
namjoon: wise words , oh and i sent you a few demos for the other thing we talked about.
yoongi: i sent you that song too , please look at it.
me: okay , i promise i will look at then all tonight.im off then.bye
i went up to the meeting room ad bega off with an apology about the reschedulation and then we continued. we finished within four fucking hours , FOURRRR HOURS. as soon as it was over i got a driver to take me to my house straight away. i was so fucking tired i nearly cried.i hung out with serin for a bit before she went to her room to do school work, i played with snow and took her on a walk and then she came with me to my room .
i went up to my room and did loads of work , including the work i was meant to do tommorow. i finished at around 11. i even did what the members wanted me to do.
june 15 2020
i woke up at 6am , took a shower , did my skincare routine , brushed my teeth , styled my hair and got changed. i even asked a my head makeup artists to come to my house early in the morning to do my makeup before i left. i recorded moments of it on a camera that i borrowed from the company and i filmed feeding snow and handing her to her trainer.
i had folded the top into a crop top and showed my stomach. i put my shoes on by the front door.
me: hello everyone , i dont know how to do this.i am taking you all with me today to go shopping and exploring. this was something i wanted to do online , but because you guys requested it , i changed my entire schedule for today to film it because its the last less busy day before i go into mass rehearsals and events. do i look nice? its very warm , so put on suncream ands pf , especially onto your face because the sun dampers your skin otherwise.now i am going to put on a face mask , of course , everyone you should too! and a bucket hat too because its warm. i dont think i won any sunglasses , all the sunglasses i wear belong to the company and they aren't at home so oh well.
i picked up my phone and wallet and put it in my pockets.
me: i dont want to take a bag , because i have no reason too...oh and i will put headphones and antibacterial hand gel in my pockets too....aside from that i am not going to take anything.okay lets go.
i turned off the camera , said goodbye to serin and got into my makeup artists car. she drove me to hongdae. i got off the car and thanked her.
me: im back , so now i am in hongdae , i got driven her by my lovely unnie. but she has gone back home cause she has things to do. i wanted to really spend today alone with you guys. i didnt know where to go so i asked my friend and she told me to just come here because hongdae is never boring...where should we go first? its really early in the morning , so barley anyone is out.
i stopped filming again and then saw a store open.i filmed a short segment on me walking in and looking around at stuff.
me: i like these earrings , lets go get them . its about one pound fifty in british sterlings...or two dollars for international fans.oh i will get these too for my friend, she likes earrings and has cool piercings. i wish you guys could meet her , maybe one day.
i went and bought the earrings for me and seolhyun, it came with a small bag.after that i asked fans on my instagram if they would want a ootd on the vlog and they said ,majority, yes.
me: i just asked you guys on instagram if you wanted a ootd, for the vlog. i am wearing a top , styled from a scarf and stripped trousers.with trainers that have pink on it and its so cute. here are my earrings , my necklace and this one bracelet . i got it as a birthday gift from a friend and i have worn it ever since , because they made me promise that.oh and no bag , because i am lazy and it is too warm.
it was the cartier bracelet from namjoon.
me: guys should we go to a cafe? get a drink? i might just melt from this weather.
i stand in the shade as i open the starbucks app and order a large coffee frapucinno on my phone.
me: okay guys , i ordered it via the app , so i dont have to stand in there in line and memorise what i want to order. lets go inside then.
i went , got my drink and thanked the barrister. i went and found a corner to sit down, it had like this fake wall behind it so it would not expose me to the public. i recorded myself whilst i drank the drink and went onto weverse on my phone. after about ten minutes , i had devoured the drink and had put my mask back on. no one had seen me and the store was empty apart from me and the workers.
me: okay, so i finished my drink and spoke with you guys on weverse. to be honest this is my first time out alone , like properly by myself only ever since .... years. i dont know what to do. normally i have at least one person with me and i ask them what they want , but this is not live so i dont know what you guys want and i can directly ask you...how about we watch , well there aren't a lot of street performers right now. lets walk around a bit.
i walked around and filmed some basic content until i stumbled upon a vintage store.i filmed some content there and bought this necklace for about 5 dollars and then left.i kept walking for a bit and then found a stylenanda. before i went inside i noticed that there was someone tailing me. i ignored it and went inside.
i looked around and found the top i was wearing
me: oh , look its the top i am wearing , what a coincidence. i found a nice silk like dress , in a majestic cream colour. but when i went to try it , i decided i didnt want to buy a dress. the dress was really pretty though . well lets go to the store next door.
i filmed as i entered the chuu store and found clothes (some of it will be edited and cut out). after went and bought a few items of clothing and then got a bag with it too. the store staff didnt recognise me and they werent bothered at all by me filming.but as i turned around after buying the clothes i saw that person again. they were wearing white trousers with a red shirt. i dont know them, why are they following me into every store since the earring store.
i took a 'selfie' on my phone as a fake and sent the picture to yoona directly and told her to see if she knew who this was. when i took the photo he moved out of the way seconds later , but i had already caught him in the picture. she hadn't seen the message yet. i left the store and walked around a bit and recorded it , just in case anything happened.i went to the main road and got into a taxi.
i turned off the camera and told the taxi drive where to go before calling yoona
me: hey , did you see the picture? who is it?
yoona: i dont know , they have a face mask on so its pretty hard to tell. there is nothing online that suggest fans know you are out .fans are busy right now with the stuff we dropped on youtube and the i land stuff and some bts and txt stuff...i dont think anyone knows. sasaengs are currently nowhere to be seen too. i will send a security team there now.
me: just send two people please. not the entire team , i am currently going to lotte world , make sure they are ready by the door once i get there.thank you.
i got to lotte world and got off the taxi , i went to the main entrance and saw jaejoon and david waiting for me. i walked up to them and i also noticed that moments after i got off the taxi at the parking , so did another taxi that carried the same person.
david and jaejoon were quick to notice.
i turned on the camera and filmed a small segment
me: hello guys ,i am now at lotte world and i am here with two people because something came up. but i am happy because i get to spend time in lotte world with two of my friends, right? they are camera shy so i won't film them out of respect. i bought a ticket for myself last night , but now i need to get two more for them.
we went and bought tickets and then entered the theme park.throught our time there we went on a few rides and after about 4 hours , it wasn't too busy, i told them that i had plans to go to jin's restaurant, which is nearby.
as we were leaving jaejoon got really angry and i turned off the camera as me and david calmed him down
me: dont say anything to the person , for now leave it because i have this to film and if something happens i cant end it like that. also , they might not know i am diamond , its okay.
jaejoon: dont be stupid , its pretty clear you are someone special. haven't you seen twitter? people are taking pictures of you and calling you 'pretty unnie'. there are pictures inside chuu and stylenanda , and they are going viral on korean platforms. people want to find out who you are , they think you are youtuber
david: he is right , but we cant act rash , especially since this guy could be filming , jaejoon this was in our basic training. get it together. i got a car ready to take us to jin restaurant , but i think its better if we go home and order takeout...its not safe.
me: but i really wanted to go to jin hyungs restaurant, please....
david: as your head of security , i advise you not to go.
me: fine , go get the car ready . me and jaejoon will stay here and get some food and drinks instead of takeaway...do you want anything
david: uh sure , get me a hot dog , smoothie from the stand and maybe something from panda express
me: hyung you better have memorised that because my brain just went silent, hahahahaha.
david left and i filmed me getting food from various locations in the theme park and once we had it all we left.the guy was still following us.
once we got into the van i looked out the clear window , took off my mask and saw he was filming. i stuck out my middle finger and said " byeeee".i closed the curtain and laid back as i began filming again
me: okay , so i am now in the car and i am going home. i got takeaway from the lotte world and we decided to eat at home. also i just did something that you guys will know of within a few minutes , i presume...everyone i am sorry but i just wanted to hang out today and film it for you ...but instead i couldn't finish what i planned to do because of that.so unfortunately , the vlog will not be completed as expected and as you guys voted for on my instagram.
my mood was ruined , i turned off the camera and got out my phone to film a time lapse of the journey home outside the window. david was driving and jaejoon was on his phone next to me.
once we got home i saw serin was out , and snow was not dropped off my her trainer yet too.well i am early home.we went to the dining table and i set up the camera as we began eating.i dint film them and i only filmed myself , part of the table and the white background.
after that i said my goodbyes to the camera and officials ended it there.david and jaejoon left soon after eating and helping me clean up. on their way out i met snow's trainer and collected her . i spent some time with snow and then took her upstairs with me and edited the entire vlog. it was about 3am when i finished editing, i took a nap half way in between. i took a time lapse of myself editing and then posted it on youtube (i didnt edit any of it, so it included the nap and parts where i picked up snow and when she fell asleep in my arms). then i set the video the post at 9am KST and left it.
i opened my phone and saw the pictures of my pointing my middle finger at the guy. he posted it on his twitter account , turns out he was one of my sasaengs. he said he was shocked , but " more attracted". what in the fuck? i sent all the evidence of him following me today (from the video) to my head lawyer , even the picture and screenshots of his twitter and asked him to prepare a restraining order.
i eventually went to sleep at around 5am , but serin didnt come home that night, i think she went to her parents house or something. i dont know, its her life.