Brooklyn's POV
So Ethan and I had a conversation about if I love Grayson. I honestly don't know because I have feelings for both the twins and it kinda hurts. No boy has ever made me feel this way and it's just amazing. But love? I don't think I love him...
I like Ethan because he's sweet and outgoing and funny.
I like Grayson because how he looks at me makes me tingle inside and makes me feel loved, same with Ethan. AHH it's just hard for some reason.
I asked God the other day and it was a night time, I was laying in my bed and I asked.
"God, is there a reason this happened. That my father died. With the twins, with everything?" I said laying in my bed. "Why are the twins in my life, what did I do! I mean I always felt lame and boring and these boys came into my life and I'm starting to get all confident. What if they crush that? I like Grayson and I like Ethan. When I kissed Grayson it felt amazing and I loved it. Grayson makes me feel like I'm important and Ethan makes me feel loved!!!! Why, what If something happens with the twins and I and everything goes down hill. I don't want that to happen..... please don't let that happen. Please?" I said and cried a little bit because I've never felt this way about a boy, boys* before. What am I gunna do?!!?
I fall asleep after about 6 minutes and next thing you know I wake up because I had a horrible dreams about the twins. They both told me that they hated my guts and I fell of a cliff, I didn't comment suicide, I just fell off of it, out of no where. And right before I hit the ground, I woke up.
I got up and wanted a drink of water. I went down stairs and got a water bottle from the fridge. I took a sip and turned around to walk back upstairs but I almost jumped out of my skin. Ethan was standing there watching me.
"Oh my fucking--" I said but got cut off my Ethan
"Shhhhhhh brooke" Ethan said towards me to the fridge.
"You scared the crap out of me dude" I said putting my water bottle on the counter.
"I'm sorry" he said "can't sleep?" He asked.
"No just woke up from a bad dream and then needed some water then was about to go upstairs to go back to sleep" I said and then pulled out the chair underneath the counter and sat there.
"Were you watching me?" I asked
"No" he said turning back around and closing the fridge behind him.
"Umm" I said quietly.
"I was already down stairs, you were just to tired to see me I guess" he said standing on the other side of the table.
"Oh sorry" I said. Looking down at my water bottle, thinking.
"What's on you're mind?" Ethan's asked me and I looked up.
"Stuff" I said
"Like what?" He said after about 3 seconds.
"My dad, life, things" I said
"I'm really sorry about your father, he was a good man. Life is worth living and does has has its ups and downs but--" he said but I cut him off.
"That's what I'm scared of" I said quietly
"What?" He said
"That's that's I'm scared of" I repeated myself.
"What do you mean" he said. Coming closer to me.
"It doesn't matter, I'm gunna go back to bed" I said getting up.
"Brooke, it does matter" he said
"It's fine" I said walking a little further away from him.
"No" he said grabbing my arm gently to turn me around.
"Ethan it's not that big of a deal" I said looking straight at him, about 5 inches away from his face.
"To me it seems pretty important, please tell me I wanna know" he said
I sign and turn back around to the couch. I sit there and about 20 seconds Ethan finally got the message of me wanting him to sit next to me.
He sat down and stared into my eyes and I started to speak.
"I realized something about you, you and Grayson" I said
"What?" He said concerned
"About how you guys treat me, have you ever treated any other girl like this before? Even if you do notice how your treating me?" I asked.
"I mean... now that I'm thinking about it, no.... well not for me, I dunno about Grayson but for me I have never been this close to a girl before and now that your saying that how I treat you, what do you mean by that?" He asked
"You treat me like I truly matter" I said
"Well you do, That's the thing" he said
"What?.." I said
"That's the thing, I know that I shouldn't say this because you and Grayson but I, I have feelings for you. Deep feelings, I just feel as though you care more about Grayson then you do with me. I know expect you to feel the same way but---" he said but I cut him off
"Ethan, I like you to but your brother and I. We aren't official and he has been acting really weird lately. I just don't know how to explain it but you too are very sweet and nice guys and you two mean so much to me. But now sense you told me this... it makes me---" I get cut off by Ethan smashing his lips on mine. I wanted to kissed back. I kinda puckered my lips but not enough. Then he pulled away.
"I'm.. I'm sorry" he said getting up from the couch and walking to the stairs.
I sat there, not believing what happen. I was shocked and happy and angry and confused.
He ran upstairs and I herd him slam his door, hard. Good thing everyone was asleep.
I layed back onto the couch and sat their for about 30 minutes wondering why I didn't kiss back... I'm such a bitch.