21st - 23rd december 2019
the sore pain in my legs were practically gone and i had the doctors clearance to stand up and be able to walk around .
i had rehearsals today and i couldnt do the leg movements properly but i tried my best and everyone understand and helped me out where they could.
most of the time i was rehearsing , but often i had meetings with "line friends" , "fila", "nike , " "samsung" and a few entertainment companies. for the new year , i needed to complete all sponsorships and brand endorsements as soon as possible. im leaving in a few days.
24th december 2019
i woke up at around 4am and i was ready to head off to the sky dome .as i was about to call for the car i realised i forgot what jungkooks mum left for me, the kimchi. i should go and get it before i forget.
i called for the car to arrive in fifteen minutes and i walked to bts' house to go and collect it.they should just be waking up by now , i knocked on the door and after a minute or so a gruffy sleepy jimin opens the door.
me: hey , are you all awake?
jimin: yeah , sekin hyung just came over.
me: ah , cool. i need to grab something from the kitchen real quick.
i walked in and he closed the door , i went into the kitchen and saw jin making eggs.
me: yo
jin: oh , you're here? i hoped you'd forget so i could eat the kimchi myself.
me: nah , ms jeon's kimchi is amazing . id never forget it.
i opened the fridge and look at how packed it was
jin: not that fudge , the other one. the new samsung one that they sent us .
me: ah , right.
i opened the fridge next to it and saw boxes of kimchi stacked with other side dishes
me: oh my goodness , thats a lot of hard work
jin: tachyons mum came over too last week. she wanted to see you for something but at the time you were flying back. i think she labelled your box too
me: ah , i see. i wish my parents did this for me...but they dont really care about me
i went quiet after thinking about how badly my parents tried to get me out of the kpop industry , the ridiculous comments and blackmails that they did
jin: hey , thats why we all love you so much. we are your family and your grandmother called me last week . she said that she was sending over gifts for us .
me: how nice of her . i might see her tomorrow before i leave.
i saw the two boxes with my name labelled on them , it was divided on the inside to hold other side dishes.
jungkook: oh ,hello. did think you would be here
me: hey , im just here to get the gift your mum left me
jungkook: thats a lot to carry , let me help you.
he held one of the boxes and i held the other
jin: wheres snow?
me: with her trainer and caretaker , they took her out and i think she will join us today at the rehearsals.
jin: yeontan's sleeping right now and sejin hyung is trying to wake up taehyung.
me: hyung can you help me take these to my house ? i cant hold both of them and it would just kill my legs more
jungkook: sure , ill be back. tell sejin hyung for me.
we walked out of the house and after thirty seconds we arrived at mine , i opened the door and the gaurd was shocked to see me
me: hey i just went to get some gifts that were left for me.
gaurd: ah , yes miss. let me help you
me: nah , its cool
i went to the kitchen and opened the fridge door as jungkook fitted one of the boxes in
me: acctually , i want to take this with me today to rehearsals. i might eat it there because i dont want to waste it.
jungkook: fair enough.
i heard the gaurd shouting "miss , the car is here for you"
i walked back out of the house and sat in the car with my bag and the gift next to me.
jungkook: we will be there in an hour or so , depending on how quickly the others wake up. bye
he closed the door and waked back to his house as i drove off to the sky dome
once i arrived , yoona and david were waiting for me and they helped me with the massive dishes that were left for me. once we got into the green room the cameras were already filming . i bowed and greeted everyone as they began to help me get ready for the first recording.
the cameras carried on filming
cameraman: what are those dishes , talk about it a bit and how you woke up and your day . you know , the average
me: hello , guys . it's rehearsal day for SBS GD. the day before christmas. are you all well , are you all eating healthy? i woke up at 4 and then i went to collect 2 gifts that were left for me at a friends house.they were side dishes. since i am leaving tomorrow i want to use them as fast as possible. so i have one of them here with me , i walked in with it . it was from a close friends mother , she has always been really nice to me. if you watching , think you so much. i will eat them well.
the cameraman nodded and ushered "that was good "
makeup artist: close you eyes please
after half an hour i was ready for the first performance ,i finished it quickly but i noticed that the soreness in my legs was back and i was quickly tired. i headed backstage to get ready for my next performance and i completed that too after two takes.
pre recordings are essential to artists.
for the rest of the day i was either recording , practising or watching others. bts and txt joined later on and i helped their prerecording. i even got close to sarang , she was a nice girl but a bit sassy and what seemed like rude sometimes...but i think that was just her being really happy and confident misunderstood.her mum seemed chill.
at the end of the day i spork bit with the diamond diaries camera and i went home. i even managed to finish eating the side dishes through out the day. i sent a picture of myself eating it to jungkook's mum and she replied quite happily.
25th december 2019
today was gayo daejun.
i got there at around 6am and i slept in the car and it took yoona a lot of shouting to wake me up.
i had a rehearsal left and i did it in normal clothes and when i finished i watched others perform.
yoona: you have some time before they need you backstage .
me: okay , i will watch this performance whose is it?
yoona: i think thats wendy
i took out my phone to film her as she began rehearsing "speechless" as she stood on top of a platform.
yoona: why is she walking forward there is nothing there?
me: unnie , UNNIE .WENDYYYYYYYY
i filmed her as she fell 2 metres flat onto the hard floor .
i put my phone in my pocket and ran to the main stage as i got closer to her , oh my goodness the horror.
she her face was bleeding , the mic had flown somewhere else , her hips looked dislocated , her wrist was already bruised and swollen , she was wheezing and it was just a mess.
everyone began running over and the red velvet members saw the horror of what had happened.they ended up taking her away and she went to a hospital, with her members.
once she left i was really angry.
me: what is going on?
the staff members looked confused
me: the stage and rehearsals are a mess? every year there is a problem. every single year . this time someone almost died. solar unnie fell over , twice were barely dancing because the stage was shaking , bts were more focused on not falling through the platform holes that their performance , txt managed to get a few minutes of rehearsing yesterday because it was sp unorganised. what in the actual fuck is going on?
the staff members looked down
me: every year , its something new. every single year. i cant blame the staff members so dont get worried or upset, but who ever organises it , this is an embarrassment.
director: well , the 'person who organises it' is going to arrive in a few minutes miss.
" no need , i am already here"
i turned around
me: tae joo hyung?
he smirked as he walked forward
tae joo: lets take this somewhere else , shall we?
me: yes , i wouldn't want to publicly embarrass you for how you caused someone to lose their career
tae joo: no one wants to see my girlfriend angry , now would they?
me: what?
yoona: what?
david: she is not dating you , why are spreading something that isn't true
tae joo: well she could be
me: i dont want to and i never will
a light chuckle was heard amongst the spectators
yoona: diamond , we need to get you food , you are behind schedule. please follow me.
yoona and david grabbed me by each arm and forced me out of there.
we went to the green room and i was fuming.
me: i want him out of my life for ever. even as a friend. i dont care who he is , what he does , the fact that he likes me so much and is obsessed with every move.
yoona: oh my god .
me: what?
yoona: you know that photographer at the airport that you said has no company , i recognise her!
me: who is she?
yoona: his secretary, the one that was just there with him
i switched to english , so no one would understand me.yoona followed
me: you are fucking kidding right?
yoona: dead ass , it's her. look at the photos.
she showed me pictures from her at the airport and pictures of her on the company website
yoona: thats why there were never any photos released.
*knock knock*
yoona: please come again later , we are busy right now.sorry
the door opens.
yoona: how did they get passed the door guards?
a guard had opened the door and let the person enter
tae joo: eunha , it's me.dont worry
me: can every one leave please?
the stylist and staff members look at me in confusion
me: go on your lunch break now.
the staff members drop their stuff and leave
me: unnie the room's sound proof right?
yoona: yeah , ill check no devices are here
tae joo: eunha , i -
me: no.not now
yoona: there is nothing here.
me: okay , you leave too. if david comeback from talking to manager sejin , dont let him in.
yoona nodded and left, she closed the door behind her
me: you piece of shit
tae joo: what did i do?
me: what did you not do?
tae joo: oh , the girlfriend thing?
me: you are insane . you get into a fight with harry , another piece of shit.then i tell you to leave me for a while but you send people after me, i mean you own fucking secretary? what are you , stupid? then i just found out she even got a plane ticket to come to LA and on set , but she only just managed to not be let anywhere near the set because of my security. you crazy bitch! then you come here , and say this bullshit about "girlfriend". I WAS YOUR FRIEND TAE JOO HYUNG. YOUR FRIEND.not you girlfriend , why don't you get it?
tae joo: because i like you.
me: well , im sorry but i dont like you as a crush.
tae joo: BUT I DO!
me: what and you are the only one with feelings?
tae joo: eunha , i have never had a girl reject me before
me: hyung , how old are you?
tae joo: im 20 , why?
me: how old am i ?
tae joo: i dont know , no one does
me: there are people who know . our age difference is quite a concern. our personalities clash , our interests and hobbies clash.we wouldn't even go well together
tae joo: NO.
me: we dont get along. your demanding and so am i. you dont let others have their freedom , i do. you are a control freak who lies to verpowere everyone , im not, i like to work with people. you are obsessive and you have tabs on me 24/7 , i let you do whatever you want. you want to make me do things that i dont like and make me uncomfortable a-
tae joo: BUT I LOVE YOU
i stopped.
me: what?
tae joo: i love you
me: no , no. what makes you thing that i fucking care?
tae joo: what?
me: oh my fucking goodness , i was holding back on what i was saying but not anymore you psychopathic son of a bitch. if you dont stop leaving me alone , i am gonna get a restringing order. stop it , stop thinking about yourself only. your selfish , self centred and egotistical.im heartbroken that i have to do this. you know , i acctually wanted to become really close friend with you and even to the point where we were like siblings , thats what i saw in you...but you just had to fuck it up
tae joo: am i not good enough?am i not good looking? am i not rich?
me: BRO WHO FUCKING SAID THAT? you are overthinking it. why do you like me ? tell me
tae joo: what , well your gorgeous and strong and independent and you stick up for me and -
me: you dont like me for me , you like me because i represent hope over what your father does.
tae joo: what?
me: i am the reason you dad doesn't fuck you over anymore , because we both know he is a stuck up selfish prick who would willingly fall to his knees for me and thats why he doesn't abuse you anymore. that day when i stood up for you , you saw me as a beacon of hope. thats what you like. not me .
he went silent and he closed up
me: look , im sorry but i cannot and will not date you ever. after whats happened , i think it is best if we parkour friendship and never speak again. when we see each other lets be civilised and dignified .
he stared at me and he was raging at this point , he walked forward and reached his arms out and grabbed my face
Me : get the FUCK OFF OF ME
he held on tighter and moved his face forward, demanding a kiss
me: dont do it , oh for fucks sake
i kicked his shins and grabbed his arm , twisting it and throwing him to the ground.
me: you are really a fuck up huh? i have evidence of this and i am going to sue you. you must have forgotten that i know how to take care of myself.
i let go off his arm and walked towards the door.i opened it and turned back, he was crying
me: there's a first aid kit on the sofa , use it. i will give you fifteen minutes before everyone comes back
i closed the door behind me.
yoona: what happened?
me: you put the camera down right?
yoona: of course
when i asked yoona to "check for cameras" , its a code. it means check that no one else has left electronics here and leave a camera because something is about to go down
me: watch it and prepare for a restraining order.
david comes running down the corridor
david: i heard you kicked everyone out?
me: yoona will explain , but can you guys take me to bts' room , i cant go by myself after what happened
they walk me to the the members room and i walk in .
jungkook: yo yo .
i smiled before lunging onto the sofa .
yoona: i will get a blanket , are you okay? no injuries? are you bleeding?
me: can you send someone to wendy's hospital with flowers please.
yoona: i will but did he hurt you
me: unnie , we are in a public place
david: im going to kill him
me: HEY ENOUGH .get it together for fucks sake . i can take care of myself
everyone in the room was staring at me
yoona grabbed david and took him outside.
jimin: did something happen?
me: not really
jimin: come on tell me
i handed him my phone with the video
he watched it and got angry
me: i know , i know.
jimin: why didn't you hit him in the penis , what a prick.you should have beaten him up , black and blue
the others become increasingly curios
manager sejin: okay guys , the staff members are going to out to eat , i brought food for you here.
they thank him and the staff members begin to leave the room
i look around and see that there are no cameras left behind
the boys sit down
manager sejin: i have to leave because yoona wants me to run an errand for her real quick , but i have already ate so dont worry too much
he walks out and im left sitting with the boys
me: did you hear what happened to wendy? i got it all on film
namjoon: i heard what happened afterwards , with tae joo
me: wow , already?
jungkook: what happened?
namjoon: eunha got angry about what happened to wendy and she said that "every year something happens here" , which is true . then she said "not the staff members fault" , but the organisers. the director then said "he'll be here soon".
jungkook: and then?
namjoon: then tae joo said" im already here. lets take this elsewhere , no one would" umm.
jungkook: what did he say?
me: "no one would want to see my girlfriend angry".
the boys erupt in angry and dissatisfaction
me: look , i know. then i got angry and said " not your girlfriend and never will be" yoona and david got angry and dragged me off . went to my green room and had a rant with yoona , she found out that he had his secretary trailing me for months
jungkook: even after the fight with harry ?
me: yeah , she was the one at the airport when i left for LA.
namjoon: oh and then he apparently stormed into your green room , then you kicked everyone out and no one knows what happened since
hoseok: what happened afterwards?
jimin: HE TRIED TO KISS HER!
the boys began shouting again
i showed them the video
me: crazy prick.
i was sitting on the edge of the sofa next to jungkook whilst they were eating and watching the video
they got just as angry as me i think and they eventually just went silent
namjoon: why didn't you tell us?
me: i just found out , thats why. he was a friend , a nice one too. the only weird moment was when he wanted me to call him "oppa" and i said no and he got slightly angry until i said it once
jungkook: what a weirdo
me: its annoying , because as soon as i am nice to someone , they begin to demand things from me and i dont want to .then they get angry and do things that i will never forgive and i have to stop being friends with them. every single chaebol i encountered is just arrogant and egotistical. i just want to be friends.
taehyung : you have us and we would never lie or stalk you?
me: they all hide things from me. harry was dating maya behind me back , tae joo was stalking me behind my back .
jimin: we would never hide something behind your back
jin: well what are you going to do?
me: im giving him a week , if he hasn't left me alone , i will get a restraining order. im leaving in 18 hours time so , thats not a big issue.
they began eating and talking about how everyone changes overtime
i was quiet and over emotional because after a minute or so i was crying .
me: hyung , i want it all to stop. i am sick and tired of it all. i dont care about anyone anymore , i want to fo away and never come back.
jungkook puts down his cutlery and wraps his arms around me
jungkook: you dont want that trust me. pain is momentary.
me: why does it seem like my pain is when my skin has been removed and someone had just put me into a bath of salt.its bittersweet.
the door opened
yoona: we are going to need to get you ready for the carpet. the legalities team are ready for when you want to take it to court.
i got up and left. i think it made them really sad that i had to go through that public embarrassment.
i went back to the empty green room and eventually i was called to leave for the carpet.
the carpet event ended , what seemed like quickly. but i was overthinking and not focused.
i sat through the endless performances and i did clap and cheer on the performers.
i did my performances and i went back to sitting down , exhausted and sweaty. when finished my performance i was so tired they had to give me an oxygen tank. but i was still able to go back and sit down. today bts won all the daesangs and honestly they deserved it.
the entire night i was stressed and restless for no reason.
my second last performance was a chirstmas one . bts were performing with sarang and then i walk onstage and do my performance.
i watched from the side of the stage in my outfit and it was really cute , i couldnt stop smiling..their performance ended and i walked onstage.
this song was surprisingly hard to sing and dance to , because the dance made you breathless but the notes needed a lot of oxygen to hold them for long.
there was an orchestra in the background with a choir and the trap remix brought it all together as a symbol of community.all music can be brought together.
i finished my performance and ran offstage to change for my last performance.
i got into the dress as the designers stood by me to help for the final fitting.
the dress is a dior haute couture and the thing is with these outfits are that they are extremely pricey. but they are stunning. the designers fly out to you and they have several fittings and trials before the final event.i sat down and my makeup artists did the simple makeup which was too keep all attention on the dress and the song.
makeup artist: don't cry again , okay! i can't wipe my makeup off as easily, because when you cry i cry.
i smiled and gave her a hug before i got into the shoes
yoona: come on , ignore everything that happened with tae too okay. this performance is important.
me: can you help me to the stage , i dont feel too well.
david: me and yoona will hold up as you go onto the stage.come on.
i got up as they helped me walk out towards the stairs. i watched as an award was given out.
i was standing on the side of the stairs
me: water please.
yoona handed me a bottle of water and i took a drink.
the fans who were next to me behind the gate all had their phones out recording.the designers of the dress were just touching the dress and doing something to it as i stood still
me: hey could you get THAT suitcase and the gift bag ready for me , for when the ceremonies over
yoona: of course. just focus on this for now
a staff member ran over to me with a clip board
he whispered something into yoonas ear and ran off.
yoona: once the winner is off stage and the MC's are offstage , the piano will rise and you can walk onstage. just as we rehearsed.dont worry , dont cry.
my hands were shaking and my nails were purple because it was so cold.
the winners walked offstage and the presenters followed them on the other side of the stage.
the piano rises from the platform and yoona taps me , meaning i can go.
yoona and david hold my hands as i walk up the stairs , the dress and heels were quite a problem.
i was onstage and the lights were off , the stage was already shaky and i barley managed to make it to the piano.
i sat down as the lights focus onto me.
me: i want to say something really quickly before i begin my final performance. sorry if it bothers you , but it's necessary.it has been a year and a week since jonghyun hyung has passed away. i have a picture of him , sulli unnie and hara unnie on my fireplace at home. i sincerely hope that each and every individual who wrote a single word that was malicious and mean and broke their hearts understands the consequences of what they did.when commenting , if its not positive dont write it . if you dont like something , dont look at it rather than to tear it down. three of my friends have passed and i refuse to let another one pass.as for those suffering in silence , talk to someone , anyone. me , your friends , your family , a professional , a teacher. more people love you and care for you than you think , please stay with us.
i put my in my ear piece and i look at the piano as i begin playing. i close my eyes and i focus on the vocals.
i tried to get taeyon to come but she was unable to as her company wouldn't allow her to come. she had her own problems too as her grandmother is getting more and more ill everyday.i can only wish her the best and i completely understand why she wouldn't come.
i managed to get through the song without stuttering or my voice cracking , but i did cry.
half way through the song i stood up and held the microphone to my hand as an orchestra was revealed behind me .
the song finished and i bowed before turing and walking off the stage.
i could hold my tears back because as soon as i got off the stairs , before i was even backstage i burst into tears .
yoona and david hid me from the cameras and dragged me backstage. as soon as the door closed behind me i fell to the floor in defeat.
i miss them so much. just hearing their voices and seeing them. or when we went to cafe's and took pictures together . or when we were younger in the dance studios we would stay until early morning just talking and playing around. they raised me and i can never forget them.
i wish they were still here
after a few minutes of yoona trying to getting me back to normal i saw tae joo staring at me from in behind david. i stared at him and wiped my tears.
he had his hands in his pockets and was still staring at me.
i stood up and raised my head
me: unnie , i need a makeup touch up.
i grabbed her and tried to walk back to my room
tae joo clearly kept on staring at me as i kept on tearing up and walking away.
yoona: come in , come in. i'll hold the door. guy , guys , a quick touch up.please.
i walked in and sat on the chair.
i curled up and just cried, ugly cried.
me: i , i , ive lost them.
yoona stood in front of me sitting on the chair.
everyone was staring at me and even the designers who had flown from france were akward.
yoona : its okay , its okay. its not you're fault. dunham , you couldn't have done anything
me: i could have forced hara to stay longer , i could have hung out with sulli more , i could have called jonghyun every night.
yoona wiped my tears and raised my chin.
yoona: raise your head.it was not your fault.now get your makeup dont and get back out there before everyone comes here. there are more performances and awards to be handed out. so get your shit together.
the make up stylists walked towards me and began to do my makeup again.
they finished my makeup and i got back up and smiled at the "diamond diaries" cameras as they filmed me a few steps behind.
yoona: lets go , come on. i have the suitcase and the gift bag for taehyung when the show ends.
i got to the door and i opened it .yoona walked by me as i got to the stairs.
i walked up the stairs , still in the same dress and heels.
i saw all the artists seated and staring at me , i bowed at them and ran to my seat.it was a massive sofa (it could have fitted ten people at least)and i was sitting by myself lonely. i was freezing , i was shivering and i had goosebumps and purple nails because it was so cold.for the next hour i kept my head down and i was quiet . i clapped and smiled and bowed to the artists and winners , but i was just out if it.
by the last performance the show ended and all the artists were back onstage bowing and greeting fans.
i was the first onstage. i went round and waved and bowed to all fans. i waited for taehyung to leave the stage so i could too , but he wouldn't leave.
i decided i had to wait until they all left so i could leave.
i kept on interacting with fans and artists. i spoke to chungha and the itzy members for a bit . but soon the event ended and we were forced to leave.
once i was backstage i went straight to my green room and saw it was practically deserted. all the staff members had left to go home for christmas and get ready to go to LA.me , yoona , david and a few security guards were the only ones left .
i saw the suitcase and the gift bag yoona had brought from my office. i grabbed my bag and david held my coat . i reached into my bag and got a key out and i put it into the gift bag that had a card in it.
we walked to BTS' green room , i opened the door as they finished getting ready to go home. they did a few more videos and clips then they turned off the camera.
me: yo yo.taehyung hyung , i have this for you
taehyung : oh umm... hey.
me: so its your birthday soon , but i won't be with you guys on your birthday , im sorry . so i wanted to give this to you before i leave for LA.
taehyung: oh , you got me a suitcase.Thanks!
me: well , once you open it , there are some more things in there for you. this year, i got everyone, like a suitcase of items and something else.i cant say it openly , but it's in the gift bag.
*crash*
i turned around and saw yoona stood in shock with her iPad on the floor.
yoona: everyone get out , EVERYONE OUT NOW.
me: unnie , what's wrong?
yoona: EVERYONE OUT RIGHT NOW. GO TO DIAMONDS GREEN ROOM FOR THE MEANWHILE.
what the fuck is going on?
i watched as the stylists and staff members awkwardly walked out of the room .
yoona: you guys get out too.
she pointed at the bts members
yoona: eunha , im sorry to show you this in such a manner and moment...but you need to see this.
she picked up her iPad and handed it to me.
my heart shattered.it physically hurt.
me: everyone out , but you.you stay here
jimin: eunha , i will-
me: i said get out. dont make me angry , you have already fucked up enough. now out
jin: its best they talk this through
jin grabbed them and pushed they out of the room
me: unnie , you too , check for cameras . but dont leave anything to record this time.
yoona: there nothing here
she walked out and closed the door behind her
me: thank fuck the rooms soundproof huh.
taehyung: eunha , i
me: tell me everything , right now.
taehyung: i do use a juul. its true.
me: since when?
taehyung: before the picture of my with that drawing.
me: so you lied to me and said that they were crayons , deceived me for months. EVERYONE knew but me .EVERYONE. the staff members , the workers , the helpers -
taehyung: calm down , we will talk through this
me: no , no we won't.
i was crying
me: hyung you broke my heart.
taehyung: you said you hated people who smoked and drank
me: i said that , yeah. doesn't mean i would kill them or soemthing
taehyung: you-
me: i also said loyalty and honesty are the most important thing to me.you didn't do that either.
taehyung: i-
me: no , i speak. you broke me. on christmas too? we have know each other for about 7 or so years , right? yet you lie to me for months with something that could have ended your career. who knew?
taehyung: not a lot of people
me: who knew?
taehyung: well. people who were your staff didn't.yoona and david didn't know.
me: so everyone knew but us three. the THREE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE in the company. YOUR CLOSE FRIEND was unaware.why didn't you tell me?why? do you know what i have to sacrifice in order to get this out of the news now. do you even begin to understand?
taehyung: eunha , i really -
me: here's your gift . i got you an apartment. don't tell the others . jimin , jungkook , namjoon, jin are the only ones with their apartment and now you. yoongi and hosed haven't got theirs yet. dont tell them. i cannot believe you wouldn't tell me. for what reason ? for what fucking reason? deception , why? for what fucking reason?
taehyung: eunha , i , i , i
me: hyung , i dont want to see you for a while and i dont know if we can continue to be friends after this , even the others. we had arguments , but we have never lied to each other.ever. especially not with something like this.
taehyung: im sorry, really
me: you had numerous moments to tell me. but now , i have to find out like this.why are you sorry ? do you even have a reason? i can promise you , if this didn't happen , you would have carried on not telling me. tae joo , harry , now you. why do you all lie and hide things from me? oh my god , the members hid it from me too. i feel pathetic . i feel so fucking embarrassed.
taehyung: i told them to not tell you
me: oh and that makes it better doesn't it? im leaving , i cannot fucking take this. dont even dare try to call me or text me. i swear to god i am moments away from fucking throwing myself under a fucking train.
i opened the door and watched as the rest of the members and yoona fell to the ground. they had their ears on the door and were trying to listen.
me: get out of my way.
jimin grabbed my hand
me: dont fucking touch me , i feel pathetic and stupid. especially you. you got into an argument and shouted at me saying that nothing happened...only to expose him like that. if you have secret , at least fucking keep it.
jimin: eunha , i am really -
me: yoona , the cars ready right?lets go , release the trailer for the tour film ...the second version with me and all the injuries. i at least need something to hide the mess that these fucking assholes made.
yoongi: who are you calling an asshole?
me: all of you. how dare you hide this from me. NONE of you came and told me , none a single person. you deceived me for months, yet you acted like you cared about me. who was it that said "we would never hide or lie to you" this morning. yeah you.
yoona: the car is ready and we have camera men planning to go to the airport. it will cover taehyungs scandal
me: also , cancel the therapy appointment
yoona: eunha , this is a problem , but you shouldn't cancel it
the boys began shouting at me
me: yoona , when i tell you to do something you listen and follow. so cancel it or i can ensure you you will regret not listening to me. dont hurt me like they did
yoona: okay, i will do it.
tae joo: i guess im not the only piece of shit man in your life.
tae joo walks down the corridor by himself
me: i know right. if there is anything i should have learnt from you , its that loyalty and trust are an illusion that one will uphold to get what they want.get out of my way , i have a flight to prepare for
i pushed past the members and walked to the carpark.i got in the car and burst into tears.
i feel like shit. i cant believe that he wouldn't tell me. i could have at least hid it from the public. i allowed tattoo and drinking on camera. i hid all reports being ruthless to them. i did everything for them , i put myself at the mercy of society so that they would thrive. i was given the opportunity to speak at the UN , but i gave it to them first. i was given the opportunity to win the BBMA award , but i let them get nominated instead.where i went just as a guest. i did EVERYTHING for their success.the least they could do is maintain a friendship.
david: home?
david was in the drivers seat
me: yeah.
david drove away , i got home after half an hour.
i was so tired and exhausted , i was literally about to fall asleep .once i got inside i closed the door
me: hey can you quickly help me put these gifts into some houses.
guard: yes ma'am . the ones in the bag?
me: yeah. i already put everyone else gifts in their houses. i only have BTS' house left but i cant face going in their.david , you know the pin to the house , help her before you leave. put them in the living room.i had yours delivered to your house whilst we were at the award show.
david: okay thanks, you stay here. i will get a few guards to help me carry these.
david and the guards left for their house and they came back after ten minutes.the gifts i got all my friends this year was individual to them. txt all got new specialised microphones which i designed based on their favourite colours.
bts got individual gifts .
i got taehyung a customised gucci jacket that was solely created just for him. i got jimin a handful of tiffany and co jewellery . i got jungkook a selection of gaming devices , it included a new PC keyboard and a few games that i knew he wanted. i got hoseok a variety of trainers , s a few balenciaga louie vuitton and gucci shoes that all had his name embroidered in the inside. i got yoongi 3 new keyboards and a synthesiser all that had his name engraved on the bottom. i got namjoon a few items , it ranged from Takashi murakami paintings to a new piano that was ordered to be delivered to his apartment. as for jin , i had a struggle choosing what to get him , but i decided on getting him clothing, so he got a suitcase full if designer clothes as he always gets the other members to buy him clothes.
david and the guard came back and they said a few things before leaving.
so im spending my christmas like this then. packing clothes.