seventy four
all of them were already stuck together. their sights never leaving hyunjin who was in the middle of a trance.
subconscious.
hyunjin was subconscious.
and he was also subconsciously crumbling. crumbling to pieces as the thoughts of jeongin had flashed again.
should he be the one to get in?
a doctor had came out of jeongin's room, with a clipboard in hand. "i am doctor lim, may i ask who the relatives of yang jeongin are?" the doctor called out. they all turned their heads to hyunjin, who only sat unmoving without anyone knowing how to approach him.
leo sighed under his breath. "me," he says. "i'm the one as close as a relative to the patient, doc."
doctor lim nodded as he hummed. "yang jeongin's..?"
"close friend. i'm his close friend, kang leo. he has.. he only has us left." leo utters. he was already getting nervous once again. the calmness that chan helped him develop through time of breathing exercises being long gone once the doctor showed up. and the unreadable expression on the doctor's face didn't help the way that woojin's heart was already gonna fly off of his chest.
the doctor glanced at him with a look, patting leo's back as he walked with leo following him, just to be away from the crowd of teenage boys.
"well, mister kang leo, yang jeongin was in critical condition but has fortunately survived the accident. though, he did have thirteen large shards of glass pierced on his skin, mainly on his foot as a large truck had hit the taxi. and a few more small shards as the police had said that yang jeongin had sat in the passengers' seat making his injuries multiply in number. his head also faced a hard hit, so there is also a wound around his forehead area. but during tests, chances of memory loss are very low so there is not much to worry about. the only problem here is that his foot has faced most injuries and the joints on his knees had twisted, it'll most likely result to the usage of a wheelchair." the moment doctor lim had uttered the last sentence, he looked at leo and his reactions. but the young boy only had a blank look on his face, despite the corners of his lips raising up just a bit, his face was mostly blank.
thank God.
doctor lim sighed, "have you kept up with what i just sad, mister kang?"
the slight smile on leo's lips had abruptly disappeared as the color on his face had drained to white. "w-what?"
doctor lim frowned slightly at the reaction. he ripped a piece of paper from his clipboard, folding it into four and giving it to leo. "here. i knew that you and the other acquaintances of jeongin are shaken up so i decided to list down and take note of his conditions just to make sure that all of you will get how he really is. there's also additional information on there like blood donations and all. and oh, you are now allowed to get inside the room, jeongin shall wake up in a few minutes." those were the last words that doctor lim had uttered before patting leo's shoulder and leaving.
"huh."
chan jogged to leo's direction. a worrisome expression painted upon his face. "how is he? is he fine? are you fine?" chan blabbered in between pants from pacing back and forth clashing with his heavy breaths from his nerves.
"he- he's fine." leo's words almost lacked in emotion at first, but the expression on his face opposed his tone. "he's f-fine, chan! he's fine!" leo was now almost howling in happiness, with tears of joy flowing down his cheeks as he jumped on chan and hugged him tightly.
the other boys sat on the bench could only smile, relief finally washing upon them. they all stared at hyunjin, who was now hugging his knees, a smile crawling up his face as he covered his mouth to prevent a whimper from passing by his lips whilst his eyes were filled with orbs of his tears. "you made it, love."
felix leaned on changbin's shoulder, a small smile plastered on his lips. "he made it, hyung." felix looked up at changbin who had been staring at him. changbin only nodded, nuzzling his face on felix's hair and kissing the top of it. "our jeongin is strong, lix."
seungmin could only sigh in relief, running a hand through his hair as he ruffled it. his stress had already gotten the best of him and everything on him was disheveled, from his hair to his clothes — he was the whole definition of 'mess'.
"finally," he looked to his side, with minho and jisung uncomfortably cuddling on the small bench. minho looked at him as he rolled his eyes. "you need a hug, minnie?" seungmin only stared at them both, his lower lip sticking out as he nodded, the tears of joy finally coming out as he jumped on minho and jisung, a tight embrace filling him with warmth.
chan stared at hyunjin who was now smiling. he might look crazy but chan found it endearing. that despite the chaos that hyunjin had running through his head, he was still able to smile.
chan kneeled in front of hyunjin, tapping on his knees to catch his attention. it took a lot of tries before hyunjin could finally look at him. "hyung, he made it." hyunjin smiled through his quiet, short laugh. "yes, he did, hyunnie. would you want to go and see him?"
hyunjin looked at him, mouth slightly opened, as his puffy eyes widened to the very slightest. "r-really, hyung?" chan responded with a nod, ruffling hyunjin's hair as he stood up.
"the door's free for you." hyunjin stared at the door, with the numbers 372 carved on a wooden nameplate.
hyunjin stood up, his shaking legs not going unnoticed by his friends. he walked slowly, assuring his mind that it was fine and jeongin is finally safe. his hand gripped on the doorknob, twisting it with a click, the usual smell of lavender hitting him almost immediately from the air freshener.
the more he walked, the more he saw jeongin's condition. there was a bandage wrapped around his head and a few disinfected wounds and slits on his face. only that was what hyunjin could see as the lower half of jeongin's body was covered with a blanket. the heart rate monitor was also beeping in a normal pace, enough to make him anxious and calm at the same time.
his feelings were all clashing, crumbling to mass pieces once he saw jeongin in that state.
he took a chair from the side, pulling it near jeongin's hospital bed. he stared at jeongin. he was still the pretty boy that hyunjin stumbled upon instagram. the fennec fox like boy that he found adorable despite him insisting he was straight. the boy whom he spent endless nights with at the rooftop of park jisung's café. this boy.
this boy is yang jeongin.
the boy he had fallen in love with. and he didn't really know how to deal with the situation. the fact that hyunjin was only having fun during a normal afternoon with his close friend lee chan then the chaos of now had happened – it was almost a joke.
but it wasn't.
though, the whole 'car accident' still had hyunjin shaken up, he just can't help but smile. the fact that jeongin was strong enough to withstand something that tested his strength, it added more to the list of why hyunjin had even fallen in love with this boy laid in front of him.
yang jeongin is strong.
"hey..." hyunjin's voice was merely a whisper. his voice was hoarse despite it being quiet as a result of his endless crying. "thank you for coming through,"
"you know, you really scared me. just the thought of you in danger already put me into tears." it was quiet. no response at all. the sound of hyunjin's words and breaths, plus the monitor beeping was the only sense of sound ringing through the room.
"seungmin told me everything and why you went here to busan in the first place, and i-" hyunjin paused with a sigh. "i guess i understand that you at least wanted to see your father... you know, before it's too late."
"but- uh, don't you hold any grudges? that he made you suffer all those years when you were still with seungmin? just so that he could get the money you got from seungmin? you know you deserve better, right?"
hyunjin looked down, with jeongin's hands being frail, cold, and pale – he took jeongin's hands and interwined it with his.
"i love you," the words were shaky, as if hyunjin still hadn't got enough of crying that his throat still closed up, ready to release another river of tears. yet it was also vulnerable. like he was hanging on such a thin thread that he could barely hold onto but he still refused to let go.
but it seemed as though everything would be fine if he said those three words. that he finally let go of the resistance that was holding him by the neck for so long.
"so much. i love you so much, jeongin."