"I feel guilt, I feel guilt.
Though I know I've done no wrong,
I feel guilt, I feel guilt."
***
Finally one normal day in this hellhole of different events known as life.
At least that's what I hope it is.
In the morning, I wake up alone for the first time in a week as Zayn would stay over after walking me to my house. Is it bad if I say I enjoy waking up alone..? Well in my defense now I don't have to act all sophisticated.
I roll out of the bed and make my way to the kitchen to make myself some coffee. I'm barefooted in the kitchen when I hear the back door creak open. It's a bit odd since it's always locked..
I grab a frying pan and turn around to see a figure standing in front of the back door.
I'm about to scream my lungs out and launch on him when he turns to face me and I stop in my tracks as I recognize the bright blue eyes and the thick British accent.
"Oh God, I fookin' tried to not make a sound. Oh well, now that you've already seen-" he shrugs and continues, "Hi love!.. What? Oh don't tell me you forgot who I am!?"
I break out of my trance and open my mouth to say something but no words come out and I shut it again.
"I-I-I. Lou- W-what the hell are you doing here..?", I whisper more to myself.
"Oh come on, It's been months Liz! I at least deserve a hug for coming all the way here!" he says and opens his arms as he motions for me to come towards him.
That's when my brains catches up and I let out a high pitched scream as I drop the pan and run towards him.
I hug him like my life depends on it.
"Ahh! I missed you! I missed you! I missed you so damn much!", I let go and put my hands on his face. "How have you been? Oh my God I can't believe you're here! Wait is it really you!?", I pinch his nose and he pulls my hands away.
"Ouch- Yes obviously it's me! I missed you too. Well the most important day of the year is coming up, so I had to do something," he says as he rolls his eyes.
"What?"
"Your damn birthday's tomorrow, dumbo."
"Oh....Oh shit!"
He makes a confused face and I explain, "Well, you see I kinda had a breakfast date today..."
"Oh with that Zayn guy?"
"How the hell on Earth do you even know about him?"
I furrow my eyebrows at him and he says, "Let's just say that I've been keeping tabs on ya," he laughs.
I squints my eyes, "Who told you? Niall!? Yep, it has to be him! Ohhh is that what he was hiding for like a month now? Don't tell me he knew you were coming!"
It all makes sense now. Niall acting all suspicious whenever Louis was mentioned and Louis having the key to my back door. That bitchass stole it!
"Umm yeah well... kinda.. okay yes. He did know and he was the one to tell me. And he got me the key of the back door.. you weren't even supposed to be up- Ok just try not kill the poor guy."
"Okay... well make yourself at home, which I know you will. There's a guest room upstairs. Make sure you don't end up crashing in the one where Christina lives part time."
"Okay. I'm gonna go get fresh and then we can leave." he says and turns to walk out of the kitchen.
"Wait what?"
"To meet that Zayn guy obviously!" he scoffs and walks away, leaving me confused as hell.
This is bad. Very very bad. Oh God, how do I save Zayn from him...
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As we made our way into the cafe, I spotted Zayn as he waved us over. I heard Louis scoff behind me and mumble something about Zayn looking like fuckboy. I turned to give him a glare and mouthed him words, "Behave." to which he just rolled his eyes.
When we reached the table, Zayn stood to give me a hug and a kiss on cheek while his whispered in my ear, "Intimidating..."
I just gave him a loop sided smile and introduced them two even though I had already texted a synopsis of Louis and his personality before leaving the house.
Had to give a heads up..
Now, after about half an hour, I feel like the tension in the air is so thick that you could just cut it with a knife. Louis has just been sitting there and glaring at Zayn. I have elbowed him a few times but whenever I try to get him to stop, he just passes a rude remark.
I want the ground to open up and swallow me. I can't even look at Zayn directly.. as if the guilt from the previous happening wasn't enough. Speaking of the guilt, I'm not even sure how to bring up that night at club in front of him.. Just thinking about that night makes my heart sink in my chest. Not even a single sign of Harry after that either. I'm just trying to forget that even happened. I still have to ask how Zayn knows Harry. But that's a story for another day.
"Sooo, tell me about yourself," Louis' voice breaks my trance and I look up from where I have been sitting and staring at the table towards him as I sit up straighter.
"Well what do you want to know? I have nothing to hide," Zayn shrugs as he takes a sip of his coffee and smiles at me.
"Umm let's start with, how do you know Liz? How long have you two been a thing? How much longer do you plan on doing this? Or maybe your fuckboy personality. You don't look a relationship kinda guy being honest. No offense."
"Louis....Enough," I hiss at him.
"Oh, it's okay. I get where he's coming from," Zayn says to me and then turns towards Louis to continue,"Well we have the same class. So that's how i know her. It's been a few weeks of us being together and I plan on keeping this relationship as long as she is willing because I really like her. About my fuckboy personality, yes. I do look like one, even was one. But I'm trying to change for her. So, yeah that's it."
"Okay then. I guess we're done here," Louis says as he gets up to leave. "Oh and I hope you don't mind. It's just that I have known Liz since childhood and she is like a sister to me. And do keep in mind, if you're not able to 'change' then leave before you end up hurting her by fuckin' up. Trust me, you don't wanna hurt her or there will be severe consequences."
"Yes sir." Zayn just nods and gives him a closed lip smile.
I am just sitting there and staring at the two of them. I open my mouths but no words come out of it and Louis just turns to me as he grabs my hand and motions for me to get up.
After saying our goodbyes and stepping out of the cafe I text zayn an apology for how Louis behaved.
Louis tries to talk to me all the way to Christina's apartment and I keep on ignoring him.
When we reach there, we meet her and Niall. I don't utter a word and sit on the couch beside Niall and he cuddles me.
Apparently Louis got here last night and Niall picked him up at the airport. He stayed at Christina's apartment after surprising her.
Louis and Christina are sitting on the couch in front of us and staring at me like hawks.
After a few minutes of deadly silence, Niall speaks up.
"Okay 'Louiss', how did you manage to fuck up so quick?"
"What? I didn't even do anything!"
"Yeah sure you didn't. I can see that just by looking at Liz."
"Honestly I didn't do anything!" he continues to argue which pisses me off more, pushing me off the edge and I speak up.
"Yeah sure! You never do anything do you!? You literally fucking threatened him! I mean yeah you're like a brother to me but that surely doesn't give you the right to just straight up say the shit that you did to someone I'm dating! Not to mention the way you were treating him!"
I get up from the couch and I can't stop the words that leave my mouth next, "But no! You're never wrong! None of you is! Christina and you literally acting like my parents and suffocating me inside this little bubble is totally fine yeah!? I can't even date someone I like without you guys judging and threatening them for fuck's sake! I'm done with this!" I yell and I don't even notice the tears leaving my eyes while the three of them stare at me in shock.
"Elizabeth..." Niall tries to say something but I cut him off.
"I was done with it and that's one of the reasons I left! I left because I'm tired of being treated like this fragile little butterfly! Stop! I don't want to live inside a bubble! That is not freedom! I want- no need freedom! I need air to breath! Please.. Please let me.." I end up losing my breath and fall to my knees as I whisper the last part.
Niall steps forward to pick me up but I stop him as I put my hand up and say, "Don't. Don't touch me."
I get up and walk towards the spare bedroom after giving Louis and Christina a cold stare.
I hear Christina slap Louis' head and say, "The fuck did you do now?" before I slam the door behind me.
"I have to go check on her," I hear Louis' muffled sound.
"Oh no no no. You have done enough for now. Leave her alone for the time being," Niall tells him.
That's all I hear before I drift off to sleep.
I wake up to the feeling of a hand slowly stroking my hair as I open my eyes to see Louis.
"What time is it?"
"10:30 pm"
"Oh..damn. God, my head hurts," I groan as I lay my head back down on the pillow.
"I got you some ice cream..." he barely whispers.
"Uhmm, that sounds nice."
He leaves the room and then returns after a minute with two cartons of ice cream and spoons.
He hands me one as we both sit on the floor at the end of the bed. We eat in comfortable silence for a few minutes before he breaks it by saying, "I'm sorry.."
I keep staring ahead while putting a spoonful of ice cream in my mouth as I ask, "For what?"
This reminds me so much of the nights he used to sneak into my room like this back in Seattle.
Fucked if I say I didn't miss this...
"I.. I didn't know all of this was effecting you this much.. To the point where you felt like you were being suffocated-" He tries to explain but I cut him off without removing my gaze from the window.
"Correction; Am being suffocated."
"Okay. Can you let me finish first?" He continues after I nod, "Look Elizabeth, I never wanted to do this to you. These were never my intentions and you know that. You never really told me that this was all suffocating you.. I'm sorry.. like genuinely. You know me. I get possessive at times. I can't control it. It's just that you mean so much to me. I have seen everything you have been through, I was there right from the start.. I can't help but feel protective of you like you're some precious little thing that I need to hide from the world so that it doesn't cause damage to you.."
"But you see, the damage is done. And I'm trying to recover from it. That would only be possible if you guys let me."
Honestly, I don't get how at one moment you tell a person to move on and at another you don't let them.
"Okay, I'll talk to Christina and Niall as well. We'll stop acting bitchy. That's a promise. You are still my precious little thing tho.. I love you!" He exclaims in a soft voice and hugs me from the side. I hug him back as I say, "I love you too, boo bear."
"Do we have to go somewhere now?" I ask him as I take another spoon of my ice cream.
"Umm, we don't have to. You know we can stay in all night and watch some movies if you want. But we do need to get to your house for that."
"I mean, I don't wanna break their hearts by not showing up to my own surprise birthday party.."
"You always know don't ya?" he smiles as he hits me lightly on my shoulder.
"Umm I just connected the dots. You showed up just a day before and your there is surely a party if you're here."
"Yep. But heads up, all of this heart to heart didn't mean that I like your boyfriend." I roll my eyes at his words as I say, "Yeah I know. You made that pretty clear today."
He rubs his hands on his thighs as he gets up with his ice cream in one hand and brings the other to help me up. "Well, for your first gift, I got you a dress and you gotta wear it to the party since the dress code is fancy I think," he shrugs.
"Yeah yeah, that means I'll have to put effort into getting dressed."
"Yep!" he exclaims as I roll my eyes.
Here we go.
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A/N:
Oh did I just post again?
*fake gasp*
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All the love!
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