The next day, I stop by the laundry room to buy a 7up from the vending machine before I go to uni. Nox is in there before me and I don't really know how to approach her after what happened yesterday. I stalk past her quietly her back facing me as I adjust my bag back that hangs over my shoulder. She's sitting on a table in the middle of the room and it looks like she's texting someone. A yellow laundry basket is placed next to her feet. She seems too absolved in the conversation that she barely notices me.
Or so I thought.
"There's no need to be awkward Apartment Seven." Nox mutters as I push a quarter in the slot. "A good morning would suffice."
I turn around to face her even though she remains focused on her phone. It almost looks like she's in actual pain just by looking at the screen, her thumbs slowly tapping on her keyboard. "Good morning!" I greet loudly and she flinches. Her phone almost falls from her grip. Nox tilts her neck glares at me with an aggravated expression laced in her features. The 7up falls from the shelf and into a box as it gets transfered to the exit like a mini elevator. When I retrieve the cold beverage, I pop another coin in the slot and press the digits for a Reese's. When the candy falls into the box I take it and set it on the table next to Nox' arm.
"What's this for?" She asks.
"A 'thank you' would suffice." I return and she opens the candy. She takes a bite and then looks at me.
"Thank you." She says and I take a seat next to her on the table. Her eyes follow me dumbfounded. "Look I know you want to talk about yesterday, but I don't and getting me candy isn't gonna make me open up about it so I'm sorry. Your effort was in vain."
"But he's been harassing you for a long time." I say. "And I-I want to help."
"Jimin," she starts "you don't even know me. You don't know anything." Oh but I know everything. "I really appreciate you for not letting him in but you're not obligated to do anything for me. Please, just forget what happened and-"
"And?"
"If Apartment Eight asks you about Elijah don't tell him anything." She says quickly.
"Apartment Eight?"
"Yoongi." She clarifies. "Your neighbor. I know you guys hang out so don't let anything slip out. He can be nosy sometimes. "
Well shit.
"Why are your eyes so wide?" She inquires. "You're looking at me strangely." When I don't speak she just takes another bite from her Reese's and casts her phone aside. The dryer's alarm goes off and Nox gets up after picking up the yellow basket. She shashays towards the machine, opens the door and begins emptying the contents.
"How often does Elijah come here?" I ask and her hand freezes while holding a couple of shirts.
"Don't worry." She says. "He won't be coming by any time soon."
"So that means he's coming later." I state and she tosses the articles of clothing in the basket. She spins around and gives me a warning glare.
"This is none of your concern Jimin." She retorts. "What i'm doing or what Elijah is doing is none of your business. Whatever you're thinking that happened or had happened forget it. I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."
"I know you can take care of yourself, but if anything like this happens again-if Elijah raises his hand at you-"
"What did you just say?" She cuts me.
"What?"
"How do you know?" She asks sharply. "How do you know he has-" Another lady enters the laundry room with a cart filled with dark clothes and that's all it takes to make Nox stop talking. She quickly tosses the last of her laundry inside the basket and holds it in front of her chest with a frown."This conversation isn't over Apartment Seven." She strides past me and before I manage to say something she's long gone.
"She calls you by your apartment number too doesn't she?" The woman comments slightly after Nox leaves. She has caramel blond hair that reach her collarbones, olive skin and intense gray eyes that almost look silver. The faintest lines form near her dimple area and near the corners of her eyes signifying that she's must be a smiley person and perhaps a few years older than me.
"Yeah," I reply and she chuckles. "Does she call everyone by their numbers?" I question.
"I'm starting to think that she doesn't know any of our names here."
And I think you might be right.
"Is Nox always this-" I begin but she interrupts me.
"Antisocial?" She chimes.
"Cool and collected."
She chuckles once more and this time an accidental snort slips out. "If you put it that way then yes. She's not the most approachable person even though she's manager. But she's the one keeping this place up and running. I'll give her that. She's one hardworking young woman."
The elevator though is still out of order, I think to myself.
The woman starts sorting out her clothes and while she does that she bends slightly over the machine, her back facing me. I lower my gaze as my eyes size up her hourglass figure. She's wearing a formal gray jacket, black jeans and stilleto heels. My guess is that she has an office job. Before I leave the room, she suddenly asks "What number are you?"
"I'm in No 7." I reply pausing in my tracks.
She draws a deep breath and bends further down to grab some lacy black underwear then tosses them in a machine. When she bends down her jeans lower a bit revealing a generous amount of her black thong. I would be lying if I said I wasn't turned on, because that's exactly what I am right now.
She's doing this on purpose.
"So you're right on top of me." She breathes and her saying those words makes my dick rise under the fabric of my jeans.
"W-what?" I stammer almost choking on my breath and she tilts her neck a bit. Her profile is so beautiful. Her facial features are so strong and the thickness of her lips shows from how they're naturally protruding.
"You live on the floor above." She says with a grin, her silver eyes catching my brown ones. She knows she's affecting me in some type of way.
Fuck she's hot.
"So what's your name No 7?" She inquires. Even her voice is alluring.
"I'm Jimin." I reply. "Park Jimin."
"I'm Bethany." She moons and I smile. When she empties the rest of her basket in the machine she puts in a quarter and starts it. After that she slips the rest of her sorted clothes in additional machines and when she finishes they all start spinning simultaneously.
"Hmm, you have an exotic face." She comments and I smile awkwardly. "I haven't seen you around why is that?"
"I just moved here." I explain.
"Interesting..." Her eyes fall on the backpack that is slung over my shoulder and her brow arches slightly. "So you're in university?" She asks while twirling a lock of her hair with her forefinger.
"Yes,"
"What's your major?"
Shit, I'm fifteen minutes late, I suddenly remember. I was already delayed because I wanted to confront Nox. If I were over Evelyn, I would probably fuck her on the laundry machine while her black lacy thongs spin around in there along with the rest of her clothes.
"Journalism." I say quickly and before she proceeds any further I cut her "I'm sorry but I really have to go now."
"Wait what?" She chimes confused.
"I'm late for class! Have a nice day Bethany" I say before storming out of the laundry room.
Evelyn
I am not used to driving alone.
It has only been a few days ever since Jimin left without further notice and even though I have gotten used to the idea of us being broken up, there were these moments that only added salt into my wounds. It's hurtful and the uncomfortable feeling of this emptiness began to overwhelm me once I caught up with all of the signs. I have yet to get used to having no one to wake me up at morning with a kiss on my forehead. I won't get the chance to eat the special Saturday pancakes ever again or hold Jimin's hand on our drive to uni.
Nostalgia creeps into me as I remember the times Jimin used to toss the car keys to me and then he would rub my thigh-sometimes we would get sidetracked and I would pull over to finish what he started and damn do I miss some of that. I miss having someone to hold and cuddle with. I miss the sweet nothings he used to whisper in my ear or the dirty things he wanted to do to me. I missed the texts he would send to me from time to time during lectures and he would be on another building and I would make him go to the restroom (via text) to do some inappropriate sinful things behind a random stall. I miss having someone to control and to have. Someone I can rely on. A person that would always have my back. Someone that brings me back when I am in a dark place.
I miss Jimin.
I still love Jimin.
Whenever I was with him, I felt normal. Ordinary. He accepted all of my flaws and he would view me as this perfect human being, this tranquil and confident woman who knows what she wants. I never told him that none of his impressions of me are actually true, because in his eyes I am an angel when in reality I'm not as perfect and pure.
I considered telling him how I feel about myself, but the way he smiled when he was with me changed my mind every single time. When he writes an article for the companies that hired him or when he reads an interesting book there's this glint in his eyes-and tiny crinkles form around them that resemble smiles. That glimmer in his eyes is always there when Jimin looks at me and if I revealed all of those dark things about me, he would never look at me with shining eyes ever again and I would be all alone in this world.
I am alone now. I fucked things up with him and he if he's smart he will steer clear away from me. As much as I want to be with him, I know that us being together would cause more harm than good. I can't help it-I need ultimate control in a relationship. Without control I am powerless and vulnerable.
Pathetic.
As soon as I reach the university' parking lot, I park my car and reach for my laptop bag. I open the glove department looking for my sunglasses only to find a pack of Lithium pills along with some arranged papers. Shutting the box quickly, I exit. After locking up, I begin walking towards the Business Administration building. There are still people out here meaning I'm not as late as I thought I was. It is a known fact that the Economy Studes professor is always late for morning classes. I was late, on the other hand because I didn't have my loved one wake me up for me. This break up is gonna whip me back to shape and hopefully make me more responsible.
My eyes happen to catch this familiar figure a few feet away. He's walking quickly with his black bag pack slung over his shoulder. One hand hooked on the strap while the other is stuffed in his jeans jacket pocket. His dark hair is unruly, the messy bowl cut complementing his face shake and making his features stand out. He doesn't see me yet as his gaze is focused on something else other than me. My heart is hammering against my chest as the love of my life-my ex is unintentionally walking towards me hurrying towards his building which is nearby. His chocolate brown eyes finally meet mine and he stops in his tracks utterly shocked. His mouth is agape and despite the bewilderment going on here all I want to do is pull him close to me and kiss him until we make up.
Just when I thought that he was going to speak to me, he brushes me off by walking away from me.
I grab his arm just in time and he tilts his neck a little.
"Are you seriously not gonna speak to me?" I say in my calmest voice. I'm giving it my all to not weep in front of him right now.
Jimin's eyes soften just a tiny bit. "I don't know what to say."
"A good morning would do." I mutter and he chuckles.
"Did I say something funny?" I inquire confused and his face becomes more serious.
"No, it's nothing." He says with a cryptic attitude. "I just remembered something."
Whatever it was it must have been something pleasant because that shine appeared again just when I thought I would never see it again. "Okay," I say. "How are you doing?"
"I'm doing fine." He answers shortly. "You?"
"I'm still trying to get used to the fact that you're not around." I admit and he sighs. "What?"
"It's nothing." He says.
"You say nothing a lot." I point out. "Am I not aloud to ask you how you're doing?" I'm concerned of course. I still love this man and even though we're not together, I want to make sure he's safe and happy wherever he is.
"Last I checked we were broken up." He retorts.
Ouch. "So... I can't know anything about you? I just wanted to ask you if you're comfortable with your new apartment."
"Evelyn," he starts, his eyes rolling up slightly. It looks like he wants to say something mean but he holds back and sighs. "The new apartment is nice."
"What about rent?" I inquire. "Is it cheap?"
"It's a good deal." He replies. "The neighbors lead pretty interesting lives too."
He's still concerned about others. How sweet.
"Huh," I breathe. "You're still you."
"Why wouldn't I be myself?"
"I don't know, I guess I expected you to change somehow."
"Well, I'm not gonna change."
I hope you won't. You're adorable the way you are.
"Any chance I can come visit?" I ask him with a sliver of hope and his mouth tightens.
"I-I don't think it's a good idea." He says carefully.
"Oh." At least he's being honest about it. That doesn't mean it's less painful. My eyelids are in constant battle with the tears that are building up in my eyes. "Even though we're over, I still care for you."
"I care for you too." He says in a soft tone. "You will always be a part of me Evelyn. You're the first woman I ever loved." Jimin takes a step closer to me and his takes his hand out of his pocket. For a second there I figured he would take my hand and comfort me. Instead, he freezes.
"This is so fucking difficult." I rasp. "I still love you."
His eyes twinkle. "I still love you."
"I miss you every single second of the day." I confess. "I miss you waking me up in the morning. I miss you making pancakes with maple syrup on Saturday. I miss kissing you. I miss having your arms around me." I miss everything that is connected to you.
"I'm sorry." He mutters lowly. "I wish we could make this work but-"
I don't want to hear it. If I stay for another second, I will only become a crying mess in front of him and everyone else that's out here.
"I am sorry too." I say and take my leave while tears stream down my face.