"I don't need you up my ass all the time. I can handle myself." Violet muttered angrily, gripping her knife tighter. "Oh, I'm sorry, do I care too much? That's my bad, sorry I don't want you dead." Clementine gritted her teeth, controlling her anger with whatever technique that was supposed to be.
Violet glared at Clementine, not with hate, but desperation. She didn't know how to deal with people caring about her. It obviously would hurt their relationship, break them apart eventually, but they'll find a way right back to each other of course.
"Violet, can we not... Please, don't shut me out again. That walker almost took a chunk out of your neck. I could've lost you. We all could've lost you." Clementine whispered softly, leaning forward in her seat connected to the picnic table. "I know you don't need to be protected, but, sometimes, people make mistakes... and that was just one of many, but that's okay. It just happens."
Violet sat there quietly, carving something into the table with her knife, trying to ignore everything Clementine was saying.
"Violet, look at me," Clementine demanded, still holding her composure.
Violet threw the knife down and looked up with fury.
"I'm sorry, okay?"
"What if it was my choice?" Violet asked with a shaky voice. "What if what was your choice?"
"What if I wanted it to bite me, then what?" Violet furrowed her eyebrows, tears somewhat forming in the corner of her eyes.
"You don't have a choice. That's not happening." Clementine's voice broke, her head falling at the thought of that heartbreaking image.
"I don't wanna be here anymore, Clementine. Look at the life we're living. You really wanna stay like this?"
"You don't get to make that choice. I already lost AJ. I- You know what, go ahead. Do what you want. I'm done letting people hurt me. I'm fucking sick of it. All I do is care for other people, and love unconditionally. In return, what do I get? An asshole of a girlfriend that doesn't give a shit about how bad her death would hurt everyone. I'm done with you, I'm done with this place. I'm leaving. Now. Then, do what you'd like because I won't know, nor would I give a shit enough to even care."
And with that, Clementine got up and walked away. She didn't even look back as she left.
Violet watched her in awe, realizing how much she hurt her. It had never gone this far before. She didn't think Clementine would leave for good.
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Clementine slammed the door, her chest burning with anger. Her eyes were red already. She was sick of the games Violet played. She knew she was going through a lot, but so did Clementine. Especially with being the leader of an unorganized group of messy, angry, hormonal, violent teens.
As she packed her backs, she heard AJ's voice.
"Are we safe here?"
"Is this our new home?"
"Do you trust them?"
Her little boy. Gone.
She never stopped blaming herself. She won't ever stop blaming herself. Even though everyone told her the opposite. She was with him when it happened. She was there when that walker jumped up out of the water and snatched him underneath. She tried to save him, but just like Luke, AJ didn't make it.
When Louis pulled her out of the freezing cold water, she felt that same exact heartbreak but ten times worse.
A simple supply run turned into a lifetime of darkness in less than a minute.
With all the thoughts bombarding her, she couldn't even think straight. All she saw was red.
She was already at her breaking point, Violet just pushed her over the edge with those simple, heartbreaking words. The thought of a world without Violet ripped Clementine apart.
Clementine came to the realization that she couldn't live without her though. She wouldn't be able to stay away. She wouldn't be able to move on. She would miss all those nights together, snuggling by the fire, or their supply runs on Violet's good days, or that game they played where they described a color and tried to guess it... All of it.
She didn't know if she wanted to stay or go. She'd already lost everything when she lost her boy, but losing Violet would probably hurt just as much. The school would lose so much if she left. They needed her more than anyone else, but she couldn't continue these games with Violet.
She plopped down onto her bed, taking a moment to think before she acted out on feelings again.
Before she got too deep in thought, the sound of a respectful knock on her door filled the silent room. She already knew who it was.
"Come in." She spat with pure venom, still feeling the fire burning in her chest.
The door creaked open, slowly of course.
Violet stood there, rubbing her arm, lost for words, knowing she went further than she intended to.
"Clementine, I'm sorry. I didn't mean what I said." Violet started off shakey, hunched over, speaking softly.
Clementine sat silently, not even moving her eyes to look at the blonde in front of her.
Violet gently sat down next to her. She could feel the heat radiating from her body, Clementine's cheeks were a burning red.
"I made a mistake. I didn't see it coming and I can never admit when I'm wrong because I hate being wrong, so, I thought saying that would make me feel better... But losing you isn't worth saving my pride." Violet let out a sigh afterward, waiting for Clementine to give her a look at least.
"After I lost AJ, I realized that no matter how hard I try to keep someone safe, they'll die eventually. I kept him alive for nine years. Nine. Then I lose him because we had to cross a fucking lake. I didn't even get to say goodbye. He was just gone. I can't even bury him. My goofball. Gone. I can't lose anyone else."
Violet saw the tears forming in the corner of Clementine's eyes, but didn't want to interrupt. She wanted her to know she was listening.
"When you said that, I lost it. I can't handle that heartbreak again, Violet. I chose you for a reason. You're the reason I'm still here. You kept me sane after I lost him. You know that? Then you go and say that you were gonna let the fucking walker bite you? I can't. I do so much to keep you safe, well, and fed. I even give you guys vitamins and shit. That's how much I care. I go out for days on top of days, and I always come back for you. But all I get in return is the cold shoulder."
Violet had tears of her own streaming down her face. She never had anyone love her as hard as Clementine did. She never knew how to cherish that. All she knew how to do was push people away after years of losing people, she was sick of it. She wanted it to end, so, she became an asshole to everyone she was around, pushing them away until they wanted nothing to do with her, but Clementine was incapable of doing that.
"Don't ever say that no one cares about you, nobody loves you... I love you. I care about you. I care about you too much. More than you care about me. All you do is act like I hurt you. I've never done anything but love you unconditionally and you treat me like shit. I can't keep living like this, Violet. Get your shit together."
The cracking of Clementine's voice and the tears slowly rolling down her red cheeks stabbed Violet right in the heart.
"I love you, Clementine... And I'm sorry for everything. I'm terrified of losing you. I am... I try not to feel, but I can't. With you, it's impossible. I need you... And I just have to accept it. I can't be me without you. I need you. I'm not me without you. I need you... and you need me... And I'm here... No more pushing you away and acting like you don't exist... Just, honesty from now on... I promise."
Those words earned her a sideways glance from the brunette. Not of anger, not of sadness, but just pure love. Then a hug.
"I love you too, Violet... Love me while I'm still here."