Hand in hand
--------------------
min.
Sand? The sound of the ocean waves made me look up and I finally begin to register just where the hell I was. The beach. I scrunched my toes and true enough, I could feel the sand falling in between the gaps of my toes, making me think this is all real.
This was the day where I went to the beach with Yohan and Hangyul. This was the day I had my first kiss with Yohan. Had everything that happened afterwards been a dream? I allowed my fingers to collect the windy breeze as I eyed at the people around me.
Just to make sure I wasn't dreaming, I placed my finger in my mouth, tasting the saltiness of the ocean that the air had carried around. I then proceeded to pinch my cheeks real hard, but no matter what I did, I was still in the same place, wide awake.
Everything was a dream?
I'm back to the beginning?
I spot Yohan and Hangyul talking to their seniors before sighing in relief. At least they're here with me, well since I have a chance to start over, I ain't screwing myself up again.
But wasn't today the day I met Jaekwon—
"Hello." a whisper in my ears sent shivers down my spine.
I whipped my head around and saw the bastard that made my life a living hell. The only thing I wanted to do right now was to slap him so hard across the face like what he had did to me, but I knew I would get into trouble, especially when his father is part of the school's director board, so I held myself back.
"Kang Jaekwon. I'm here with my boyfriend. Get out of my face." I spat as I backed away slowly. My ferociousness had him appalled as he cocked his head backwards, as though he wasn't expecting me to say that.
Of course he didn't. He thought that I was a vulnerable prey.
Jaekwon lets out a scoff, finding it all too pathetic before he turned to look at me again, this time with that same menacing glare. It took all the strength in my body to not cower in fear.
I have to stay strong.
Jaekwon began walking closer to me, and all of a sudden I find myself frozen, literally. It was as though my body was not under my possession, I couldn't move an inch and could only look at the monster in front of me.
"Boyfriend? Look around, Yoon Min. Its just you and me." Jaekwon glowered before he flashed me a sick twisted smile which made my stomach churn. When I am able to finally turn my head, I notice that everyone in the beach had disappeared into thin air, even Yohan and Hangyul.
Just as I began to panic, I finally realized.
This is all a dream.
People don't just disappear.
Yoon Min, wake up.
I clenched my jaw, my anxiety increasing by the milliseconds as Jaekwon came closer and closer. I need to wake up before he reaches me, please, Min. Wake the fuck up.
My tears started to fill my eyes as rage started to take over me. All I want is to wake up from this nightmare. I screwed my eyes shut, my fists clenched and my nails were digging into my palm as I chanted in my head to wake up.
I let out a big exhale, not knowing that I had been holding my breath in for who knows how long. However, even though I was facing the ceiling of my room, relieved that my journey with Yohan wasn't a dream and that Jaekwon would not be able to hurt me anymore, I still wasn't able to move.
Breathe.
I was in a state of sleep paralysis. I kept calm, knowing that Yohan was just in the next room. After a minute or two, as though a lock had been released, my body sunk onto the mattress as I finally had control over my limbs again.
My doctor warned me of sleep paralysis due to the nightmares that always causes me to wake up when my body is not ready to be woken up.
I feel like shit right now.
"Goddammit...stupid nightmares." A string of curses uncontrollably left my mouth as I slammed my fists onto the bed in frustration. Just when are the nightmares going to stop?
I quickly got onto my feet and quietly left my room before turning to Eunsang's room. Seeing Yohan would probably make me feel better, even if its already 3am. I entered Eunsang's room as quiet as a mouse, only to see a dim light in front of Yohan.
I shuffled to his side, hoping I don't accidentally scare him because I probably look like some ghost right now. "Yohan ah..." I mumbled softly while tugging on his shoulder. He immediately turned around to look at me, completely wide awake as though he hadn't slept a wink.
"Min? Why are you still awake?" Yohan whispered back but I hushed him with a finger to my lips before I gestured for him to come to my room, not wanting to wake Eunsang up.
If Eunsang wakes up...then it's going to be a huge problem because he wouldn't leave me alone until I fall asleep.
Sometimes I wonder who's the older one between us.
Once the door to my room closes, I wrapped my arms tightly around Yohan's waist, closing my eyes as I take in his warmth and the soothing sound of his calm heartbeat. Yohan makes everything better by finally returning my hug.
His big arms engulfed me further as his hand caresses the back of my head.
"What's wrong?"
"I had a nightmare of him again..." Yohan immediately pulls away to look at my face but I pulled him back into the hug, wanting to stay like this forever. But he soon broke the hug apart anyways.
Yohan sat me down on the bed, wanting to hear about my nightmare. Even though I didn't want to talk about it, I didn't have the heart to say no so I described everything in crisp detail. I still remember it so clearly, as though it actually had happened.
"If you would have travelled back in time, how different would our relationship be right now?" Yohan asked curiously, looking at the end of my room as though he was imagining how our current situation would be if things have changed in the past.
"Well, for starters we would have gotten together much more earlier. Like I would deadass just confess to you the next day after our first kiss." I nonchalantly say, causing Yohan to raise an eyebrow before giggling at my straightforward facade.
"You mean you had liked me ever since?"
"Why wouldn't I? You're perfect, Kim Yohan. You even made sure you had my full consent before kissing me. Who does that? All you ever did was be considerate to me and I love that trait about you so much."
Things went silent again as I wait for Yohan to speak up. I could tell that he was contemplating on saying something and sometimes I wish he would be considerate to himself instead of always putting me first.
"If I was that considerate, I wouldn't have left the room that day."
I stayed quiet, wanting him to continue to pour everything out and leave this phase behind once and for all. This was an obstacle in our relationship. We just need to jump over this, hand in hand.
"If I had travelled back in time, I would simply just take you with me and maybe reconcile on the way to the administrative building. Getting angry over your intimacy with Seungwoo was stupid. I should have known better since you were naturally a very touchy person, heck you even held my hand the first day we met—"
"Yohan stop." I needed to put an end to this.
He finally looked into my eyes with his glistening ones that my dim night light had reflected upon.
"It's never your fault, Yohan ah. Stop beating yourself up over this. I had never blamed you, not even once for what had happened to me and it kills me to know that you're emotionally hurting yourself. What had happened to me was inevitable, its just how life works." I paused to study his expression and the fact that he was crying made me cry as well.
We're a huge mess, but at least we are together.
"You're the love of my life, Yohan ah. We're in this together. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger and if we can go over this, we can handle anything, even if it feels like the whole world is against us. Alright?" I began to choke on my tears as we both grew into a bigger crying mess from my words.
I lift up my hand to wipe the tears off his cheek. This was my third time seeing Yohan cry and I never want to see it again. It feels like someone had threw my heart into a damn paper shredder.
"Don't cry." I try to firmly say, but my shaky tone gave it away. You know whenever someone tells you not to cry and you just cry even more? That's me and Yohan right now.
We tried to keep it down, in case we wake anyone in the house.
Yohan's trembling hand reach for my face, as though he was highly cautious in touching me after my nightmare and our heart talk session. But I assured him by holding his hand and snuggling my face into his big warm palm.
"I'm okay Yohan ah. I'm okay now..." I mumbled as our crying started to subside.
We both lean in slowly to close the gap between us and when our lips finally touched, it felt like everything had fallen perfectly in place again. This intimate moment feels so right as Yohan placed his hand at the back of my nape, deepening the kiss.
With all our worries, frustrations and fears thrown into the kiss, the room only got hotter as I shifted myself on top of his lap, my arms now around his neck. We pulled away for a moment to breathe, our foreheads leaning against each other, not even bearing to be apart for a second.
Dear God let me marry him.
I got sweeped off when Yohan kissed me again, his other hand rested on my bare waist beneath my shirt though it was nothing sexual. We were just two souls finding peace within each other after a long phase of anguish and torment.
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narrative.
The boy rubbed his eyes as he sleepily walked out of his room and straight into the kitchen, assuming that everyone had already woken up. But he was confused when he didn't see the anyone. Breakfast was prepared half way on the kitchen counter.
"Mom??" As soon as he turned back, he saw the back of his mother in Min's room, so he curiously went inside to see what was going on.
Eunsang gasped dramatically at the sight in front of him before slapping his hand over his mouth. The two ladies were staring at the comfortably sound asleep couple in the bed, mouths agape in shock at such an indecent sight.
"Soonhee ya, are you seeing what I am seeing?" Min's mother asked, as though she couldn't believe that she was seeing her daughter in bed with another man. Soonhee gave a nervous laugh before turning the other lady away.
"He's fully clothed! I'm guessing nothing happene—" before Soonhee could finish, Min's mother had already started throwing hands at the boy in Min's bed.
Yohan's eyes immediately shot wide open as he jumped awake, startled by the sudden impact on his body.
Min inevitably woke up too from the sudden commotion right in the wee hours of the morning. "Mom! Mom! We didn't do anything!!" she screamed as she witnessed how Yohan was literally running away from her mother that was chasing him with a feather duster in her hands, which she so conveniently picked up.
"Mother (eommonim), mother! We really didn't do anything I swear—" Yohan exclaimed desperately, almost pleading as he jumped over the sofas and maneuvered himself over the tables to run away.
"Who are you calling Mother?!" The said lady shrieked so loud everyone swore that the neighbours would be able to hear them.
Eunsang sighed and shook his head before plopping himself on the ground, watching Yohan getting chased around like a comedy show.
"What a wonderful morning."
[ a/n: i kind of enjoyed writing this chapter 😂😂😂 ]