But for so many of us, sleep seems out of our grasp.
-Meredith Grey
April Kepner was gone within the hour. She had just seen the brunette disappear from the doorway and had just part ways with Taylor who had ended the day with messy hair and blood-splattered skin. He had explained that he spent the day bolstering Lexie Grey's confidence when a hard case came in. "Lexie? You're interested in her?" It had brought a genuine smile to her face when Taylor blushed. "Isn't that cute?"
"Shut up."
"No, seriously. I think it'd be really cute," she insisted and he shoved her away with a snort.
"Don't you have an appointment with Dr. Wyatt tomorrow morning?" Immediately, the mood became somber. He had chosen the wrong topic to switch to. Looking down at her shoes, she nodded. "Then go get some sleep. In your own bed. You've been at the hospital for the whole week."
"Okay." It was unsettling how swiftly the woman's smile faded from her face and how her posture seemed to sag. Taylor couldn't bare to see it. Her eyes flickered up to meet his and he put on a smile, throwing his head in the direction of the resident's lounge. Walking past him, she had this resigned mask that schooled her features into one of neutral anger. Her mouth twitched into a frown and her eyebrows knitted together as she shoved her hands in her pockets.
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Rebecca and Hunter screamed as Tom huddled around them. His eyes peeked over his shoulder as Emily told him to go. He shook his head, sending the children on their way before turning around and helping her carry the man.
The metal groaned and concrete cracked as spider webs of cracks spread across the floor, faster and faster. The ground split between her hands and there was a loud crumbling crash as stone and dust rained on her face. The floor tore apart underneath her and she found herself floating in the air. Suspended, she was transported to a black realm as bodies fell all around her. Crawling to the nearest two, she felt her heart slam to a stop when they were both Tom. All of them were Tom. Curling into a ball, she closed her eyes and tried to block it out as the cacophony of metal and rock
Something slammed into her side and she spat out blood. She was so tired. Everything was slower as Tom slowly disintegrated until nothing was left and she collapsed, lying on the cold floor. He was gone again, was the only thought echoing in her mind. Emily couldn't take the loss again. Not when the facade she had put up was slowly cracking...
But something wouldn't let her die. The earth seemed to quake, shaking with unmatched strength until-
"Emily!" She woke up with a start, slapping off whoever was shaking her. Her face drenched in sweat, she opened her eyes and saw Mark nursing a red mark on his face. He was in his scrubs, all ready for work. She realized then that she was in an on-call room. She had crashed here last night.
Groaning, she realized what had happened. She wanted to prevent Mark from waking up and had resorted to sleeping on the bed she was in now. Except obviously it didn't work and he found her. "What?"
"Are you okay?" he asked in concern, removing the hand he had pressed to his cheek. With guilt, she saw the red slap mark she had given him. "You seemed to be having a bad dream." She sat up and he rubbed a thumb over her cheek, collecting tears she didn't know were there until he did so, "and you're crying." The stinging sensation had yet to leave her eyes as she rubbed them. Sniffing, she rubbed the crick in her neck.
"Yeah." Her voice shook. "I'm okay. It was just bad memories." Getting up, she grabbed her lab coat as Mark kissed her temple, following after her. "I'm going to shower, okay?"
"Yeah. I love you." The other didn't reply as she left; either she didn't hear him or she didn't have enough energy to respond.
.
Taylor rested his head against the wall, eyes lingering on Lexie as she closed her eyes for a moment. It was a bad day for her and he frowned. He had suggested a different case, even offered Emily to take her place for Sloan but the woman refused. Hunt paced up and down between the chairs before returning to where Derek and Mark stood. Emily's knees were bent, her arms resting on them and her hands clasped between them as they waited for the Chief to come out. She sat on the other side of the door, the one closer to her friends as Reed spoke first.
"Someone's getting fired." The comment was said in a frank manner, as if the truth but the tone it held suggested it would be one of the Seattle Grace people. April shook her head slightly, gazing at the floor in front of her.
"Stop it."
"She wasn't even my patient," Charles remarked and Cristina raised her head from where it rested against her first.
"What?"
"Nothing," he snorted, glaring back at her as the two held a stare down. Breathing deeply, Emily leaned back against the wall. Lexie sent her a worried glance and she shook her head. The older brunette glanced up at Taylor who was sitting near the end of the hall with the other attendings.
"How long is this gonna take?" complained Alex and Emily shot him a look before glancing at the pocket that held his phone. He nodded; Izzie called him today. He had no time to lose. But Jackson didn't know the full story and the beginnings of a smirk showed, sending a smart-ass remark without missing a beat.
"Why, you need to make a phone call?" His friend beside him snickered, concealing his smile by looking down but they all heard it in the silence of the night. There was a long pause where no one moved. Emily caught Jackson's gaze. Before she could say anything, Alex lunged forward. He was on the man in two seconds, holding him down as Taylor sprung up, trying to wrench him , Mark, and Hunt tried to rip them apart. Emily pushed past everyone, standing between the two and trying to shove them apart. Mark saw what she was doing and pushed a hand against Charlie - who had stood up to defend his friend - and Alex, keeping them an arm's distance apart.
It was chaos. Cristina and Reed barking at each other while April exchanged blows with Lexie. Derek wrapped his arms around Alex, successfully holding him to the wall while Mark and Hunt held onto Jackson. They kept lunging at each other but they were barred by the attendings. Emily felt her head pulse at the commotion, pushing the two fighters away again as the Chief left the office. Twisting Jackson's arm around to keep him from fighting she shoved him into the chairs as Dr. Webber exited the conference room.
"That's enough!" When they didn't obey, he yelled again, "I said that's enough! What happened tonight - what happened to that patient, was inexcusable. And we're gonna be here till I find out who's responsible for it." By now, everyone was subdued and no one could look each other in the eye except the ones who were mediators. Emily let go of Jackson's wrist and he shook it out with a half-hearted glare. "So until then, you will sit down, you will shut up and you'll wait to be called." They did so. Jackson rolled his shoulder while Alex pulled his shirt down. "Hunt, Jacks." They were both red-faced as Taylor and Owen brushed past them all to follow the Chief. The blond man rested a hand on Lexie's shoulder briefly before she sat down as Cristina stood up to share brief words with her boyfriend.
Deciding to stand beside Mark, she followed him down the hall and he wrapped arms around her shoulders, clasping them to hold her tightly. She rested her ear against his chest, feeling the beats of her heart and his, slim arms slithering around his waist. "Someone's going to go down for this,"
"I know," he murmured, kissing her hair. She pulled back, resorting to just leaning against the nurse's station as Mark continued pain back and forth, replaying the night in his head. Glancing down the hall, Emily spotted Adamson staring and the two didn't break away until the Mercy Wester broke it off. Emily sighed, slouching against the counter as Mark came to stood beside her, holding her hand.
An unsettling silence befell them all.
.
"We were flooded with a mass casualty. There was a hotel fire. Half a dozen burn victims, a fireman with multiple traumas and a man with a penetrating chest wound," Taylor recited as he shared uneasy looks between the three figureheads in front of him. The blond looked at his clasped hands uncomfortably when he was done. The lightning cracked and flashed behind the him as the rain pelted the windows.
"What doctors were working?"
Yang, Grey, Karev, Adamson, that big kid whose name I don't know, uh, Kepner, Avery, Moore, and Torres."
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"I was on-call that night. Dr. Jacks was with Evan Lang and Dr. Robbins. Dr. Sloan was also on that case." She grimaced. She had yet to properly meet the woman who had captured Callie's heart. "After Dr. Grey debrided and wrapped the wound, I checked up on the mom because a few cases were still going coming. Then, I left Mrs. Becker because her vitals were stable to take on the new burn patient who I took to the O.R. immediately after examining him."
"And you flew solo?"
"Yes, sir. The patient came out alive, and stable."
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Emily laid beside Alex, squishing the red ball between her fingers as the nurse tied the tourniquet around her bicep. Her friend was on the phone with Izzie's mom as she waited patiently for him to tell her what happened. Jackson and Charles were on the other side of the room, talking and she eavesdropped without meaning to. The nurse helping told her to lie down and she did so, still hearing them clearly.
"I lost a patient."
"That's bad, dude. How'd he die?"
"No, I lost her. Parked her in a hallway, went to get her labs, couldn't find the hallway. Of course, no one would help me."
"Yeah, don't even ask for help. These Seattle Grace people are kinda douchey." Her head snapped up. She glared at Jackson's back as the nurse poured an disinfectant onto a patch of gauze. She knew Jackson. They hadn't talked much but still, he knew her and she knew him.
"No need to keep your voice down," she called frigidly. Glancing back, Jackson spotted her and Alex, a guilty look on his face. Rolling her eyes, she looked away and watched the nurse work.
"Case in point," Charles remarked and Jackson popped a chip in his mouth.
"Moore's nice if you get to know her but I agree. Karev's a douche."
"Nice, huh." He sounded skeptical but Jackson pursued his point.
"She is." Their pagers began beeping and Emily checked it, stopping the nurse from her work.
"Sorry, mass casualty in the E.R." The brunette explained, getting up and placing the red plastic ball back on the tray. Jackson and Alex got up as well and she walked faster, shoving past Jackson meaningfully as they reached the elevator. The whole ride was silent, awkward as Alex glowered at nothing and Emily waited by the elevator door, finger tapping against the shiny surface.
Then, the doors opened and they parted ways.
.
Emily tied up her hair when she reached the E.R. Spotting Mark enter a trauma room, she looked at the mom. She seemed perfectly fine as she passed. Reed was just finishing with her boy as Lexie went for the room Mark had gone into. Glancing over, she saw Taylor pulling Lexie aside and wiping something underneath her nose. They talked for a while before Emily pulled her focus away and back to the mother. Smiling, she looked at her vitals. "Has a doctor seen you yet?"
"Yeah." The woman smiled, looking around for her doctor. "Dr. Kepner was her name, I think. She said it was all good. And her-" she pointed at Reed- "she said my baby was all right." Mrs. Becker's chart looked normal. Nodding, she put it back down.
"All right. Just tell anyone if you're experiencing any pain, okay?" Agreeing, the woman kissed her boy's hair. Emily noted how easy and fond the gesture was and wondered what if for a split moment before continuing on. There were more people to save. Pulling the partition around, she turned around and helped another patient onward as the paramedics wheeled them in.
"Carter Hinton, thirty-three, jumped out the third floor window to escape the fire. Major burns to the chest, arms and torso and a left tib-fib fracture. Chest contusions and coded twice in the field."
"Bed four." The dark-skinned man was shivering as they rolled him into the space. "Lift on my count. One, two, three. Good. Okay, I'm Dr. Moore and I'll be helping you feel better, alright?" He nodded shakily with tears as she pulled back the gauze. He screamed and Emily grimaced, pulling it off as gently as she could. He whimpered when she began wrapping it again and checked his chest and other arm. HIs arms were deep second-degree while his chest was a third. With a slight shake of her head, she raised the bed rails and asked for some help before pulling the bed along towards the elevator.
"Page plastics, cardio and ortho, he needs an O.R. now."
.
"So you didn't see Dr. Karev perform a chest tube."
"No, I didn't. I was just finishing up the surgery when I went down back to the E.R. My patient was stable so I knew I could leave when I saw all the residents in the trauma room."
"So you were never there."
"Not until time of death. I checked her chart once and she said that Dr. Kepner had performed her initial exam before we parted ways."
"Dr. Kepner?" Nodding, Emily met eyes with the Chief.
"Yes, sir."
.
"Somebody call it." She came into the trauma room as Derek looked around for an answer. "Whose patient is this? Whose patient is she?" Her eyes narrowed at the blood streaming from Mrs. Becker's nostrils and neck. There was so much blood, more in the bed and on the floor instead of her body. The monitors emitted a flat tone and Cristina switched it off as April backed away. Emily glanced at Alex, his face sweaty before looking at the floor. "Time of death is 12:45 AM."
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"Come on," Mark prompted and she looked down beside her. The man was looking at her, fingers tracing absent shapes on her side. The pillow she was hugging had warmed by now, losing its cold touch minutes ago. "You've been awake all night."
"No, I haven't," she denied. His hand skimmed to her bare thigh, resting there and warming up her skin. He just stared but she didn't give up. "I was just... thirsty. I need to get a drink."
"Uh huh," he drawled, pushing himself up. Scooting closer towards her, he positioned himself so she could lie down against him. His toned arms rested on her shoulders for a second as he kissed her neck before wrapping around her neck in a hug. Her legs tangled with his as she reached up to hold onto his arms, turning slightly so she could kiss him fully. "Tell me what happened," he murmured, his forehead meeting hers as she closed her eyes.
Blatantly lying, she responded with a quick, "Nothing," and he sighed against her cheek when she turned back around. "Go to sleep. You have surgeries tomorrow."
"I will if you will," he promised and she acquiesced. The moonlight bathed their skins in silver as they broke apart for a few seconds to situate themselves in a more comfortable sleeping position. Resting on her left side, she stared at the wall as he shifted closer, leg slipping between hers. Her back pressed against his bare chest as he kissed her neck and rubbed the plane of her shoulder back and forth.
"I love you, Mark." Her voice cracked and he kissed her jaw before holding her tighter.
"I'm not letting go, jailbait." She smiled for the first time in weeks when she heard that. "I promise."