it was one month later that everything changed. after me and matt talked, him pleading for me to forget everything that he said, we were okay. of course i told him our friendship was walking a tightrope right now. i couldn't let him try to control my life like he has been doing recently. even though we know each other for years, i will never think it's okay for him to tell my secret to david even after i told him not to, or to not let david come see me just because he hurt me. it's my life, and matthew needed to understand that. he said he did, so things were finally starting to change for me and him.
after my second show, with my entire family there, even my stepmother and my stepsister, i finally felt at peace with everything that happened over the years. my mom looked and acted like a totally different person. i couldn't explain how or why, but she looked happier. it probably was because we finally were getting along, or because she was okay with my dad, or it was the baby that mended both sides of our family. jeffrey may have fucked me up in so many ways, but seeing my family finally happy - i mean, truly happy, was all that i needed.
the tv from the restaurant me and zac were, was muted, with the news channel rolling. i wasn't really interested, but we were in silence - you know that pause between subjects? yeah, we were having that one. i opened my mouth to tell him about what happened with mitch last week - harrison's son, the cellist when jeffrey appeared on the tv. no, it wasn't him doing something normal, or just occasionally appearing, he was being arrested. the police officer holding his hands behind his back, put his hand on jeffrey's head, shoving him inside the car. then, silently, three pictures of three different women, that looked very similar to each other, was now showing on the screen. underneath it, there was the article: 'after killing three women, the 'a killer' is arrested in pasadena.'
i choked on my food, coughing like crazy, drawing some attention to us. "hey, hey, put your arms up!" zac exclaimed, tapping my back. i pointed to the tv, quickly grabbing my cup of water to chug it. "what? who's that?"
he was clearly worried so i spoke, with difficulty: "jeffrey, my biological father." my voice was hoarse and it kinda hurt now. "he was arrested."
zac widened his eyes, shocked by the news. "what the actual fuck?" he whispered-yelled to not draw any more attention towards us. "he killed three women?"
"apparently, yeah." i drank more water. this was insane.
he continued watching the news before turning his gaze to me. "this will sound weird as fuck, but those ladies look exactly like you."
i hit his arm. "they don't!"
"same haircut, hair color, white, blue eyes..." he trailed off. "angie, he's called the 'a killer', like what the fuck."
i gulped, looking down at my hands. "maybe he killed them because he couldn't kill me." i mumbled, feeling my eyes fill with tears. "oh my god, he was going to kill me!"
zac stood up, crouching beside me, not caring about the others around. "angie, no, he was not going to kill you, if he was going to, he would've done it a long time ago, okay? you're safe, babe, don't worry!" he grabbed my hands. "he can't hurt you anymore."
i nodded, wiping the tears that didn't even spill before hugging him. "what should i do now?" i asked when he went back to his seat.
he shrugged. "i don't know, at least now you don't have to worry about him." he called the waitress to pay for our lunch.
i let him, too shaken up with the news to even think about grabbing my wallet inside my purse. "oh my god." it finally hit me. david. "oh my god!" i said louder now, zac looking up from his wallet. "zac, i have to go." i stood up, grabbing my stuff.
"wait, where?" he was confused with my sudden movements.
i leaned down, kissing his cheek. "i tell you later over the phone, i'm sorry, i have to do this." i was out of the restaurant in a matter of seconds, rushing to my car. i entered, starting it to drive to his place.
i felt desperate as i began to make my way to his house. my heart beating really fast, thinking that i was finally free from my biological father. of course, i was forever marked by him since that day, but he was in jail, for now, not being able to hurt anyone. not me, not my family, not david. he wasn't walking freely after what he did to me and to that other three women. god, if he even hurt other people in his life. i wouldn't know. i don't want to, actually. he influenced me too much for my liking. my therapist even told me that. i couldn't let him take away everything that made me happy. the past two months i used to heal, and i did, now i just needed him.
when i parked in his street, it hit me again. i was here, but i didn't even know what to say to him. 'hey, he's in jail, let's get back together' it's too much. 'i still like you and i missed you, please take me back'?
i wanted to tell him how i truly felt, but i haven't really stopped to think about it, not even after what harrison told me. david was just... everything to me. not quite literally, but yeah, he was. he was the one thing that i really needed in my life, the key to unlock my true happiness. everyone knew how much he truly mattered to me, how much he changed my life in such a short period. he is the one that makes me laugh the hardest, the one that makes me swoon with just one look, the one that melts me entirely with his touch. he made me feel genuinely loved. i know ashton was a really important piece in my life, but it's in the past now. david is my present, and hopefully, my future too.
i love him. i'm madly in love with david dobrik.
it felt so good to admit that to myself. harrison was right, i knew at first, but admitting it? it's a whole different feeling.
taking a deep breath, i opened my car's door, hopping off to go to his front door. nat's car wasn't in the driveway, none of the familiar cars were in the street. he was alone, hopefully. i knocked on the glass door, shifting my weight from a leg to the other, nervously playing with my fingers, caressing the little 'd' on my middle finger. a habit that i recently discovered that i do without even noticing.
he appeared, seeing me standing outside, his facial expression blank as he opened the door. "angie." he didn't sound surprised.
"hi," i whispered.
he gave me space to enter. i didn't take my shoes off, thinking that it was weird for now. we needed to talk first. "is everything okay?"
i gulped, turning to look at him. "jeffrey was arrested." he frowned. "jeffrey, my biological father... he got arrested in pasadena." david nodded for me to continue, crossing his arms. "he killed three other women."
david raised his eyebrows. "holy shit."
"i know." i rocked back and forth on my heels. "after everything, i felt like i needed to tell you this." i looked down at my shoes. "i mean, we broke up because of him." i whispered.
david cleared his throat. "yeah, that changes a lot of things." i looked up, his blank expression still there. "but i'm not sure."
"what do you mean?" he didn't answer at first, his eyes avoiding mine, staring at some random point from his living room. "david," i have to ask. i needed to. "do you still feel the same?" it has been only two months, but he was cold and distant, which scared the shit out of me.
this time, he looked at me, his eyes glued to mine, as he spoke without any hesitation: "i don't think i do." david sighed like his chest felt heavy. "i mean, i have a lot going on right now, angie, so many stuff on my mind, i don't think it's gonna happen."
is it possible to someone break your heart twice? "okay." my voice went out in a whisper, so low, i was afraid he didn't hear it.
he nodded. "i have a meeting later, so i have to get ready, you know the way out." simply as that, he walked away.
i know how to read people. everyone knows that. it was one of the things that i do best in my life. i can tell every emotion my friends are feeling even before they do. it's weird, but it's true. david was the easiest one ever. you can tell whenever he's feeling happy when he grins way too much and laughs loudly - his honest laugh, that one; when he's mad with his stern tone, his brows furrowed; sad when he pouts and is just way too clingy; when he lies, even, holding his smile, not really looking into your eyes, his eyes twitching a little; and so many other things. however, he stood right in front of me, with his expression completely blank, and said that he didn't like me anymore, his mind way too busy with his career to care about a girlfriend. but his eyes told me otherwise. it twitched.
i felt sad. so sad that my chest ached. but, at the same time, i was fuming. so, without even knowing what i was doing, i kicked my shoes off, storming inside the living room - us being at the entry this whole time - to go to his room. i entered it, going inside his closet because i knew he was there, since the door was open - his room was a mess, as always. "you don't get to do this!" he turned around, wearing only a shirt and underwear.
"what-" i cut him off.
"no! you can't just fucking leave me like that again, david!" i shoved his chest, my eyes burning with tears. "you think you can just lie to my fucking face? do you think you can break my heart again? fucking hell david!" i was yelling at this point, so many emotions bottled up inside me. "you left me when i needed you the most! you just walked away because you couldn't respect my decision! i spent weeks crying because i couldn't get the image of you leaving me out of my head!" i sobbed, continuing to shove his chest. "weeks thinking that i deserved all of that, that i deserved the broken heart, just because i wanted a reason to keep fighting for you." he grabbed my wrists so i could stop shoving him away. "now i come here, acting like a fool, thinking that now that prick is arrested we can work this shit out," my vision was blurry with the amount of tears. "just so you can lie to my face!" i let out an incredulous laugh. "your eyes fucking twitched, they told me the truth even when you tried your best to hide it!"
"because this is what i do!" his sudden outburst shocked me, making me flinch with his loud tone. "this is my job, what i do for a living, angela! i pretend, i fake, i lie!" i saw his eyes tearing up too. "for fuck's sake, i can't take this anymore!" his voice shook a little. "can you imagine how tired i am too? how fucking tired i am after faking for two months that i was doing fine? that i wasn't feeling like a piece of shit after what i did?" david didn't let me go, he just softened his grip and put my wrists down. "i was so selfish, i had no rights to do what i did with you, yet, i still did it, just because i felt so afraid of you getting hurt, i mean, more than you already had." he took a deep breath before continuing: "i can't do this anymore, i can't keep lying to everyone about how i feel, how shitty and how hollow i feel after leaving you."
the tears continued to roll down my cheeks. even though i was sad with his confession, that wasn't it. "yet, you still left me when i needed you the most." my tone was lower now, full of anger mixed with sadness - both feelings basically bottled up inside my chest for so long. "yeah, it sucked for both of us, but you still did it!" i sobbed. "and you didn't even try to talk to me, to fix things."
"i did!" he quickly cut me off. "i know you didn't know, but i stayed, i waited in the hallway for a few more minutes, but matt and zac told me i should come to talk to you later, i..." he closed his eyes for a bit. "i wanted to, for so long, but i didn't know what to say, i thought you wouldn't want to see me again. then, when i decided to go to your show, matt flipped and told me not to."
"why wouldn't i? i care about a lot david, of course i still wanted to give us a chance! are you fucking stupid?" i furrowed my eyebrows. "i tortured myself for days, thinking that i deserved this pain, that i didn't deserve you, to come here for you to do this! fucking hell david, don't you care about me? about how i'm feeling right now? 'you know the way out'? you're such a fucking dick! you act all like, oh-" i got cut off again, but this time he pushed me to his chest, pressing his lips against mine in a harsh kiss. i melted. my shoulders relaxed, i took a step forward to get closer, his hands still holding my wrists to keep me there.
as much as i wanted to literally live here, live within the warmth of his lips and the electricity from his touch, i shoved him away. "you can't... you can't just kiss me." i whispered. "we are not done, david."
"what do you want me to say? what do i need to do to make things better? tell me, i'll do anything." he got closer, cupping my face. "i'll do anything just to be with you right now, i'll say whatever you want with honesty, just..." i stopped to think for a moment. i didn't know. i couldn't answer him because he told me more than enough, but i felt too broken to acknowledge everything right away. "or can we at least pretend for a few minutes? i missed you so fucking much." he asked when i didn't answer right away. i leaned in, capturing his lips with mine in a slow kiss. he sighed, pulling me closer to him to deepen it, his tongue asking for entrance a little while later.
at that moment, it felt like i put the last piece in the puzzle like this was it. i love him. i love david too much to be apart from him. he hurt me a lot, but he knew he screwed it up, i could see in his eyes that he was deeply sorry, that he was willing to do anything for us to be okay. i know david. i can read him like the back of my hand. i know when he's lying, and especially when he's telling the honest truth.
i pulled away, resting my forehead against his. "are we pretending?" he questioned, kissing my nose
"only for fifteen minutes." i joked. he stepped away quickly which made me laugh. "i'm kidding, dobrik," i wrapped my arms around him. "this is for real."
he raised his eyebrows. "deadass?" i laughed loudly. "you can't lie on deadass."
i kissed his jawline, smiling. "deadass."
david pecked my lips one, two, three, four, five times. "good." he hugged my waist for another kiss. "can you believe that i confessed my feelings for you inside my closet only wearing a shirt and underwear?"
i giggled. "it's a funny story to tell the others."
"definitely is." he tucked a strand from my hair behind my ear. "i'm so glad we're okay."
i nodded. "me too." i rested my head on his shoulder, inhaling his scent. "we still have one thing to talk about."
david groaned. "we were doing great."
i chuckled. "you used the 'g' word."
he hummed, swaying our bodies back and forth softly. "and what about it?"
"i didn't know we were official." i shrugged.
"we were." his tone sounded like he was confused, like, 'how could i not know we were?' "i mean, we are."
i looked up at him, smiling. "what? are you asking me to be your girlfriend, dobrik?"
he shrugged, grinning. "maybe, yeah."
i hummed. "i'll think about it." david squeezed my waist, making me squeal. "fine."
"fine what, martis?"
i rolled my eyes, kissing him for a few seconds. "fine, i'll be your girlfriend, dobrik."
___
alexa play 'mad at you' by noah cyrus
sorry for not posting this sooner🥴woke up with the sudden urge to change everything in this book so i'll delete a bunch of chapters that i already wrote lmao