In the shadows. (H.S) [A.U]

Chapter 18

"It's good to see you,
so good to see you.
Oh, how I've missed you
since I've been gone.
It's good to see you,
to be in your home."

***

For the past five minutes I have been standing at the same spot, trying to figure out what I should do. Should I just rush inside? Or ask him what he wants now? Or call Zayn? I think he lives nearby. 

But yet again, I'm not sure if I'm hallucinating or not.

You know what? It can't be true. It's probably my mind fucking me up. Last time I saw him, he was at the window the night after my last night terror. And he shows up again right after another one.

So, yup. Totally my brain fucking with me.

As I'm standing here, I take a mental note to book an appointment to see a therapist as soon as possible. 

In that exact moment, he turns to look at his side and he sees me standing there a few feet away from him and he gives me that same devilish smile. 

Okayyy sir, nice to see you but time to head inside now. 

Move Elizabeth!

I just look at him and without saying a word I rush towards the driveway and start unlocking my door as I look back to check if he has followed me. To my surprise, he is standing at the same spot, with his hand in the pockets of the black long coat which he is wearing. 

Which makes him look like the angel of death to be honest.

 He has an amused look on his face as he watches me struggle with opening the door. He really has the nerve to find this all funny? It feels like he's a predator watching his prey struggle just before he lunges forward and takes it's life. 

I'm finally able to unlock it and I rush inside. Just as I'm about to shut it, I catch another glimpse of him. He is standing just a few steps away from me now. 

So, he finally decided to lunge forward now?
Oh hell no!

I shut the door immediately. I drop my bag on the floor as I rush towards the kitchen. I knew this day would come. I fucking knew it. My past won't let go of me that fucking easily. 

I open the top cabinet as I stand on my tip toes to reach the bottle of the medication which I'm in a desperate need of.

When I moved here I brought some of the medication which I was prescribed in the past for my hallucinations. I kept them because I felt like at some point, I would need them again. Life ain't that easy. You can't get rid of your past that easily. So, I decided to keep them in the top cabinet where I can barely reach them. 

Kinda regret doing that at the moment.

My hand finally touches something and I'm pretty sure it's the orange colored bottle. I grab it instantly. My hands are shaking as I try to open it. Just as I open the cap, I hear the front door creak open. 

Fuck, did I just forget to lock the God damn door? 

A shiver runs down my spine and without even noticing, the bottle of pills slips from my hand and drops to the floor, all the pills spilling out of it.

I reach down to gather them. My shaking hands are seriously not helping at the moment. I stay focused on picking them up. I see a hand reaching over and picking one of the pills, followed by a deep hoarse voice,

"Didn't your parents teach you that it's rude to shut the door at someone's face, love?" he asks and I look up to see him crouched down in front of me.

I drop the pills which I had gathered in my hand and push myself as far away from him as possible. Unfortunately, my back hits the bottom cabinets and I can't get further away from him. I'd have to make a run for it. 

"What is it? Surprised to see me or you know that you're guilty? Which one is it?" he asks in a hushed tone as he comes a little closer. 

I still try to get further away, but it's useless as I am trapped. He's in front of me, to my left is a corner, but on my right side is the way out of the kitchen. If I gather some courage and use all of my strength, I can get away. 

He is looking like a predator crawling towards it's prey as he slowly starts moving closer to me. In a flight or fight respond, I decide flight. I instantly kick his chest to push him away which takes him by surprise and he falls backwards. I get up and rush towards the stairs instantly. I climb the stairs as fast as I can but I am not that fast because I'm out of breathe.

Just as I reach the top of the stairs, I feel a large hand grabbing mine and pulling me. It happens so fast that I get a whiplash from it. He pulls me back and I lose my balance as I stumble backwards and fall into him. 

His forearm comes around my throat as my back collides with his chest. He applies pressure on my throat and has me trapped against him. 

I thrash around in his hold but he just tightens it more to the point where I'm gasping for air. He chuckles lightly and brings his face near my ear,

"There's no point of doing this. You can't do anything. It's useless. You're weak. So, why try?"

His words feel like a knife to my heart for some reason. It reminds me how useless and weak I was in the past and still am. Nothing has changed really. Just the place and scene. I'm still that weak Elizabeth. Tears roll down my face and drop on to his forearm.

"Aw, poor Elizabeth. Why are you crying? You don't get to cry before. You can cry afterwards. Or are you crying because you know you have done something really wrong? Well there is no use crying over the spilled milk now," he pushes my face a little upwards by his forearm.

"I.. didn't do.....anything..wrong. I'm not..guilty," I croak out as I try my best to gasp for air and tears blur my vision.

What happens next happens so damn fast that all I feel is a sharp pain my back and I hear glass shattering. 

I open my eyes as I let out a whimper. My eyes meet with his green ones which are now almost black from rage. He has me pinned against the wall now and I look to my left; there is a frame that fell from the wall. It's completely shattered now.

He bangs his hand on the wall on the right side of my face which makes me jolt and look back to him with more tears forming in my eyes.

"This...isn't..real. It's not.. happening," I mutter lightly under my breathe, talking to myself in order to calm down.

"What did you say?" He asks.

I don't say a word and just take deep breathes with tears rolling down my cheeks. My back hurts. Not to mention the grip of his left hand around my throat. 

After a while of me being completely silent he gets even more furious and yells at me, "I asked you a fucking question! Answer. Me!"

"It's not happening. This is not real. He is not real," I whisper to myself again, barely audible.

"Fucking say it louder!" he yells even louder as he tightens his grip on my throat.

"This is not real! You're not real! It's just in my brain!!" I close my eyes and yell.

I feel his grip loosen on my throat and I cough, trying to catch my breathe. I open my eyes to see his confused expressions.

"You think I'm not real..? Is that it?" he takes a step away from me.

I just nod and bring my hand to my throat, gently rubbing it.

"You're just a hallucination. You will be gone. It's my brain fucking up with me," at this point I don't even know who I'm trying to convince, him or myself.

He doesn't say a word at first. Seeming totally shocked. After a moment he finally speaks up,

"Sure, whatever helps you sleep at night, Eliza. I have warned you so many times about Zayn. This is the last time I'm telling you. It won't end well. I know what you have been up to," he says in a rather calm tone.

That's..what only Alex used to call me....Eliza. How..? How does he even know?

"You are just like Alex! A figment of my imagination! You're not real! I'm sure of it!" I yell as I thread my fingers in my hair.

He just stands there for a minute, watching me and looking confused. But then a smile appears on his face.

"False goodnight, Eliza."

With that, he walks away as if nothing happened at all. I hear the front door shut I slide down the wall, onto the floor, my fingers still in my hair as I cry my heart out. I look at the shattered frame on the floor and I pick it up.

It was a picture of me and Louis. We were at beach, eating popsicles and laughing about something. He had just tapped my nose, calling me "My little Liz" and I had my nose scrunched up while poking my tongue out at him. Niall took that picture at the exact moment.

Looking at the pic, makes me cry more. I want this moment back. I need him here. With me. I miss him. I want.. No, I need him here.

I stand up and walk downstairs. I lock the front door and pick up my bag to take out my phone. I slide down the door as I unlock it. There are many texts from Christina but I ignore them. There's only one text from Niall. I decide to check it.

"About Louis, I know you need him and you miss him right now. Here's his number. Call him if you feel like it. You know how much you mean to him, Liz. xxx-xxxxx."

I have never been so thankful for having Niall in my life. He knows me like the back of his hand but never really gives that away. Christina can get on my nerves sometimes, but he always understands how I'm feeling and what I need.

I decide to just text Louis,

"I need you..."

"Who is this?"

"I miss you, boo bear.."

I know that the nickname will give it away to him as it's only me who calls him that.

"I miss you too my little Enigma, you have no idea. But you should go to sleep right now. It's late. We'll talk soon."

"Okay, mother."

"I can literally feel you rolling your eyes through the screen haha. Goodnight, I love you! <3"

"Love ya too, boo bear. <3"

And just like that, A little conversation with him makes me feel so much better than before.

I truly miss him...

-_-_-_-

A.N:

All the love,

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