UN-RAVEL 25....
NEW DAWN.....
With a throbbing head, heavy heart and burning eyes Zamira had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room. The series of events had been too overwhelming for her. She wanted to apologise to Manik and talk to him in order to clear the misunderstanding so she sat waiting in the living room for him to return. As clock ticked by there was absolutely no sign of him. Sitting turned into laying down and then drifting into sleep. Pain and tiredness had enveloped her to an unconscious sleep. The clock clicks 1 in the morning and rambling in the room wakes her up, startled. Manik had walked in, in a tipsy state. The last time Zamira saw him so drowned in alcohol was when Ivaan had helped him in and taken care of him but today she is all by herself. She walks upto him and without facing any repulsion she is able to support him. As his weight weighs her down she barely manages to hold both of them and walk upto his room. It's a dark huge room no trace of light entered as the curtains weren't drawn away. Zamira searches for switch board and after five minutes when she lights up the room it appears bigger then before. She escorts Manik to the round bed and they both fall due to excessive weight. Getting off Manik's hold Zamira tucks him properly as she helps him out of his shoes. His coat and tie were already missing.
For the first time she turns around to look at the huge room and her heart melted. The wall right behind Manik's bed held a wall size portrait of their family, Manik, Nandani and herself. This was the first family picture that she had come across and it warmed her heart. She didn't remember this being clicked but the portrait made it so real that with every ounce of her soul she wished to have that moment again. At least once in her life. A table lying near the opposite wall has series of photo frames with some familiar and some unfamiliar faces on them.
Murmuring from Manik distracts Zamira's observance she turns to look at him coughing. Rushing upto him she hands him a glass of water and he gulps it down. His eyes meet Zamira's and a sweet smile breaks on his face which soon turns into a grumpy one as he mumbles, "Don't hate me baccha..... Please don't...." Zamira's eyes tear up, "I don't. I am sorry." Her voice comes out muffled with tears as she collapsed on his chest and he engulfs her in his arms. The night that seemed to be doomed in horror now felt protected, where it was hard for Zamira to fall asleep she had never felt so peaceful in ages.
The night splits into dawn and the darkness is far gone. It's a rise of new dawn. The rising sun clicked Manik's biological clock and even before he opened his eyes he could feel his head spin with pain and something on his body made him weigh heavy. His eyes skirt through the room and his arm feels numb. He looks at what is weighing him down and his eyes tear up seeing his daughter in his arms. He creases the contour of her face and the moment wakes up Zamira, she sits up startled and so follows Manik. As the recollection of the previous night downs on both of them they realise why they were their.
"About last night....." Manik starts with a deep sigh of regret but Zamira cuts him, "Forget it." Manik feels disappointed but her next move takes him aback.
She snakes her arms around his neck and whispers in his ears, "I need to talk to you about something really urgent please find a place where nobody can hear us or trace us." She nods looking into his eyes with confirmation and getting up from the bed she wears her shoes and bending down she kisses his cheeks, "I am sorry." She looks directly at him and with a broad smile continues, "And.... I love you."
Manik's headache had disappeared for the particular while and he smiled foolishly. Yes, the morning felt like bliss. Few minutes after Zamira had left he felt his head throb with pain, "Shit." Mumbling the word he threw himself back on his bed. It's only a while later he remembers the seriousness of words Zamira had said first. A part of him had curiosity while the other confusion and all in all he was filled with questions. Questions that had now begun to make him feel uncomfortable. The questions whose answers were becoming more of desperation then need.
Back in room Zamira gets into washroom and repeatedly sprinkles water on her face. She looks at her reflection in the mirror and takes deep breaths so that she could come in terms with her actions. "Yes.... Yes.... I am.... I am going to tell him. I am going to. Everything. Every goddamn thing." She repeats as she tries to think what she would tell him and how. Though there was no clear starting and lots of parts of her story were blur but she figured out her words anyhow.
An hour later when she closes the knob of the washroom and turns around she jumps at her place as her breath hitches in her mouth, "What the hell?" She shouts.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you Zu." Manik states carefully.
"It's okay. Just that I didn't expect you in here."
"Ya. But what you said earlier." Zamira nods her head, "We have two hours before anyone will come looking for us. So I want to talk."
"Alright. But what about Ivaan."
"I asked him to not come."
"But we can't talk here."
"Ya. I got that part."
"Did someone see you coming here."
"Nope."
"Impossible."
"Well, it is possible if I didn't use the door to get in." He says pointing at the door of the room in a but obvious manner confusing Zamira.
"How did you come in then?" She asks surprised.
"Come along. I will show you."
Zamira dropping her towel on bed takes Manik's offered hand in her and they walk down the lower cabinet of her room where mostly her books, electronics and other stuff was kept. Manik pulls out few books and drags the window besides it making Zamira open her eyes wide. "22#ZU_1 is the password." Zamira nods and says no word. The book rack opens upto a huge iron vault which has a fingerprint and iris scanner. Zamira sighs seeing the door open and as they walk in, it closes behind them. She enters an underground dark arena. A huge place as huge as the house above her. Every single footstep in that place echoed. The walls had torn off paint and the place felt extra chilled. The darkness, cold, silence is horrifying and damping at the same time. Zamira could feel herself gulp as Manik took her to a far away bench and they sat at an arms length.
The next few minutes were filled with silence no word left Zamira's mouth and though Manik was tempted to question he pushed away the urge seeing nervousness run on Zamira's face. A part of her knew once the words leave her mouth there would be no going back. She had weighed this moment since a long time and always had happened to have a pessimistic approach towards it but her mother confining with her father had set her to think differently but that didn't change the fact that she could hear her own heartbeat as her hands shivered and forehead had sweat laced on it.
"It all began two months ago." She turns to look at her father who was keenly listening but at the very moment she could feel her eyes threaten with tears, so she looked down at her lap but continued neverthless, "Mumma was behaving weird and I had figured out why. It was because she felt unsafe at our place even I could sense it. We both had this strange feeling that someone was stalking us. Our every move." She couldn't help gulping at the memory as it scared her to the core, "Mumma decided that we would go back to India. Then a week before we had to go on the night of my last school day some people barged in our house. They.... They were covered in masks, wearing all black from head to toe. It didn't take them long to corner us." The dark night had happened in seconds as she recalls it but that night seemed to have been the longest of her life when she had actually lived it. Telling about it felt like few seconds and so did recollecting but living it was a completely different story. Zamira feels Manik's hand tighten around her as he assures her to continue, though there was a lingering fear of what this story will lead to in his heart. "They took us deep into the forest from our house's back door to an isolated place they handcuffed me and left me into a room and took mom with them. That night was horrible I dreaded every second of it. Eventually during middle of night." Zamira clutches Manik's hand tightly as she bursts into tears remembering that moment, she vailed loudly as her insides pained remembering the very moment. For the first time she made no effort to stop her cries. Manik looked at her motionless because a part of him knew whatever was coming next wouldn't let him live in peace with himself ever again. A part of him didn't want to hear more while as knowing the pain your wife and daughter had gone through behind your back wasn't easy to digest or live with. He couldn't move or console Zamira and maybe it was better that way. Zamira cupped her face trying to speak through her muffled tone, then came the words enough to tear both of them apart, "Mumma was beaten. She was almost unconscious. She couldn't even stand by herself." The laser sharp pain that Zamira had felt while seeing her mother's condition had hit her again paining her heart. Wiping her tears off she speaks as well as she could trying to have a non shaky voice, "I swear I swear I tried.... I tried a lot to wake her up but she didn't wake up that night. Neither the next morning but when she did I didn't know what to do. I thought that was it but then it became continuous with both mumma and me. They use to beat us to pulp till we fell unconscious and then we wouldn't wake up for days and once we did they would again beat us. It kept happening for days and days. They use to come and beat us. In starting it use to pain alot but then after a while it started feeling numb but still pained alot. Sometimes I use to wake up at night screaming out of pain. I started having nightmares about mumma and me in that room where they use to hit us so bad and then panic attacks. As if fear had made a home within me. My mind didn't use to work and all the time my body felt so sour. I had wished to die at that time and may nothing would have pleased me more. I saw mumma day and night suffering and it just added more to my miseries. Everything felt hopeless as if years will pass by and we will remain stuck in that situation. Sometimes even tears use to fall short. Most of the time during that two months passed by with us being unconscious only." Zamira roughly wipes her face and looks at Manik, from the look on his face she could tell that he was numb. She could sense him feel the pain and it devastated her even more so she inched closer to him and he looked in her eyes which were red because of the effort it took to keep the tears at bay.
"Then..." He motions her to continue.
Nodding in agreement she continues, "They use to talk to mumma almost every time she was conscious and she never told me about it but one fine day I got her to tell me and then she told me that they wanted something from...." Zamira's words trail as she knew whatever she is saying will do only one thing to Manik and that is to rot in self-guilt. Seeing her prolonged silence Manik turns to look at her and emotionally the words come out of his mouth, "Me." Zamira gulped in seeing guilt rush to his face and turn it a darker shade of red. She couldn't even nod in confirmation and he didn't even need it.
After being silent for a while Zamira starts again, "When they knew that mumma had no information they called in for a deal with me." Manik's eyes turn upto look at Zamira's face, "They wanted me to come here and mingle in like.... Like a spy. So that they can use me and in return they won't harm mumma." She closes her eyes being tired of the tears she has been crying ever since, "Though mumma didn't want it. I agreed. Then Cadrica came into picture as she and mumma worked together and she is a great lawyer so mumma asked her to drop me off with you with the story she is leaving the country. That's how I came here." After saying out everything, when Zamira actually herd herself for the first time she felt that everything was real. As real as the sky and moon, as real as today and tomorrow, as real as everything that surrounded her. And it weighed tones on her heart.
Manik nods as he could feel the weight of the world weighing him down too. Every single breath was hard to take for him. The very thought of his family going through so much made him feel sick to the stomach. He didn't realise how he had kept his composure till now but what he knew is the moment Zamira gets off his sight every thing inside him will come guzzling out. He avoided looking at Zamira while she was observing him and that was the last thing at the moment he really needed. For his daughter to read him. There was a striking pain throughout his body that stopped him from even moving a finger and only he knew how dead he felt at the very moment.
"Please don't...." Zamira's muffled tear struck voice gets him out of his zone and he turns to look at her with the very energy he was left with. Before he could try frame a question Zamira continues, "Please don't feel guilty or I will feel guilty for putting you in this situation my entire life."
All he could do is nod in negative and take Zamira in his embrace as he let his guilt and regret fall freely as tears.
"You are not at fault Zamira. You are not. Baccha." He kisses his daughter's head.
Zamira moves away from him as she wanted to tell him something else as well, "I want to tell you something else also."
Manik nods in agreement.
"I never saw them but I know someone who is involved with them." Manik looked at her with different kind of seriousness this time, "Uncle Mac. The day I woke up at hospital he was the first one to be there and he told me the story I had to tell the cops and everyone else that's why I couldn't talk to you all at that time because I knew someone out of them would be there always." Manik nods creasing her hair away, "And mumma asked me trust you and only you." Manik's heart flatters at her words as the thought of Nandani having that trust at him did move him and strengthened him.
"Anything else."
"Not much that I can remember now." She speaks slowly as she rubs her tears off.
"Good. Now let me have a look at my daughter properly." His words make Zamira smile and cry out at the same time.
Manik takes Zamira's face in his hands and looks at her intently as the father in him looks at the prettiest girl in the world and the moment the thoughts of what happened to her clouds his memories he could see it happen in front of his eyes and closing his eyes he let's out a desperate cry.
"Please don't...."
Manik looks at her and kisses her forehead, "Sorry for not being there."
He kisses her cheek, "Sorry for not being able to protect you."
Kissing her other cheek he says, "Sorry for letting you go through all this all alone."
Zamira nods in disagreement as she rubs his tears off and holds on to his arm, "Honestly, if you ask me it hurts to have gone through all this but if it was all to meet you, I don't know. I am fine with it." Her words make Manik scoop her to his lap and shush her for saying that because he didn't want to know how badly she had wanted to meet him that going through terrible pain like the one she had gone was alright. He kisses her madly over her tear struck face. Holding her in his arms and keeping her away from every single bad omen didn't only feel like necessity but was the need of the hour. Zamira laid in his arms like a small child putting in no effort to hug him or hold him because she felt drained and she knew holding her father back wasn't needed because he wasn't going to leave her. An hour went by with Manik holding Zamira and the tears in their eyes had drained out but being their with each other was important and needed.
"Mumma is still there." Zamira managed to say with teary eyes.
This time Manik looked at her with reassurance, "She will come out and will be fine. I promise you."
Zamira nods believing him, "Umm...." She says sitting up on his lap, "Actually two weeks back I went to meet her and not any friend." Manik nods understandingly giving her cue to continue, "They asked me to get a red dragon file from you and only then I can meet her again but I wasn't able to find it. So I can't meet her for next four weeks." Manik nods with his mind this time working more accurately towards the problem.
Positioning Zamira so that he cups her face, "Listen to me, Zu. Now you are going to go back up in the room." Zamira nods repeatedly in negative not ready to leave Manik. She felt safe with him and she had nothing in her that could mortgage that protection of his. "Shh.... Listen you want mumma out of there safe and sound." She nods in positive, "Then you have to listen to me now. Okay." Zamira agrees with a dull face so Manik kisses her forehead, "I promise you one thing, Zu. That when this gets over I will never, never ever ask you to compromise or do something that you don't want to but till this isn't over you have to listen to me. Will you."
"Okay."
"Now, you will go back and I will ask Ivaan to take you from here and keep you busy. Once I come to pick you up at his place I will tell you what we are going to do. Till then wait for me."
Zamira gets off him and he stands up ready to go but her words stop him, "You too have to promise me something's."
He turns around and nods, "What is it?"
Bringing her palm forwards she speaks, "Promise me that you won't drink ever again."
Manik sighs remembering what he had done last night and how badly he regrets to put his little girl through that.
"I promise." He says placing his palm over her.
"You will tell me everything about mumma and you. I don't know anything about you guys and I want to know."
"You deserve to. So yes I will." She smiles at him.
"Last one, promise me that you won't blame yourself for whatever happened to us. Not even for a second."
Manik looks at her and his heart leaped out to her. He couldn't put into words how blessed he felt having her as his daughter and what not in the world he would do to keep her happy and safe. He hugs her and a word comes out of him mouth that actually made the weight go off his heart, "I promise." He kisses her hand.
Manik takes Zamira to a sink and he washes her face for her and then cleans it up and kisses her forehead with all the love he had. "Now go my brave little girl." Zamira smiles and leaves to go back just the way she entered. Manik called two people, one to go to his daughter and other to come to him.
As soon as Zamira leaves Manik falls on his knees and pukes out whatever was inside him. Tears fall down his cheeks without a pause and his limbs felt motionless. He could feel his insides corrode as if someone had put an acid in his mouth and now it is eating up his entire body. He screamed loudly trying to let go his pain but nothing helped. He rises from his place and walks to open a door that lead to other part of the arena. In the middle of the room a sandbag was tied to the roof. Manik punches the sandbag insanely. His knuckles bruised and blood spilt out of them. He had hit his head to the sandbag bruising his forehead. No pain from outside had the ability to burn him as much as the pain inside him had burnt him.
He felt being dragged away from the sandbag while red eyes looks at the sandbag with an insanity no near to any human can feel.
"MANIK...." Cabir's shout makes him look into his friend's eyes but with fire of evil burning inside him.
Getting rid of Cabir he walks to corner and picking up an iron rod he hits the glass doors and windows. He wanted to hear something that would shatter louder then his heart but there was nothing that could bring him to ease.
Cabir had to drag Manik and pin him down forcefully and make him stand in front of gushing water to get him back to senses.
"What's wrong with you?" Asks Cabir as he sees some sense return to Manik's eyes and he goes down on his knees crying. The cold shower might have helped to get Manik back in his senses but it didn't help to ease his pain.
Cabir bows in front of Manik giving no damn to the running water, he roughly pulls Manik's face to look at him, "What is it?" A very stern question leaves his mouth and Manik collapses on his chest as he wails loudly in pain.
Closing his eyes unable to look at his friend's condition Cabir tries to console him and this time asks in a very soft voice, "Manik, kya hua hai?"
"Zamira...." Manik cries out startling Cabir who pushes Manik up desperately willing to hear an explanation, "Zamira.... What's with Zamira?"
Manik tear struck face manages to narrate a story he never imagined he will have to. Cabir felt paled as a corpse while listening to Manik. For a while he couldn't manage to do or say a thing. He felt equally devastated as Manik but he had two options which he had to force himself to see. Either he can sit here and cry, regret or feel guilty or do what is needed to be done. He chooses the later trying to be the strong one and ironically, he felt anything but strong.
He pulls Manik up and closing the shower drags him to sit on a bench and hands him over with a towel and asks sternly, "Now, what?"
Manik looks at him helplessly, "Cabir I can't...."
"Shut up!!! Manik Sumair Malhotra. I am not in for listening to excuses. What's your plan?"
Manik looks at him lifelessly.
"Manik listen to me. I gave you chance to break down in front me. We don't have time for it now. Yaad hai guru ji kya kehte the. Agr jang ladne ke waqt sipahi apni khoye hue doston ke liye royega toh uski maut par rone wala shayad koi na bache." (Remember what our Sir use to tell us. If at the time of war a soldier will cry over his friend's death maybe there won't be anybody to cry over his.)
"It's not too late Manik. We have chance. Life has given us a chance this time which it didn't offer us last time. Will you do the mistakes we did earlier." Manik's eyes snap up at him with fury in his eyes, "Never."
"What then?" Manik looks at him and nods as he feels a spark of strength returning to him. The conversation that happened between his guru ji and him and his mother and him on the day that Zamira was in hospital run into his mind. It's time to mend some past mistakes and not regret and maybe when everything is put back in place there won't be anything to regret about. He is going to mend it.
He smiles at Cabir and Cabir returns it back knowing what is going to happen next. Following few hours both of them spend discussing their further plan of action. By five in the evening Manik had an exact idea of what he is supposed to do. He felt satisfied.
To be continued....
Keep smiling,
Stay blessed
&
For now signing off
SHIVIKA 😊....