I miss you like crazy, I miss you like crazy.
Ever since you went away, Every hour of everyday.
I miss you like crazy, I miss you like crazy.
No matter what I say or do,
There is no getting over you.
***
So... I told Niall and Christina about last night.
They are currently having a mental breakdown.
We are sitting in the same cafe where we hangout almost everyday.
"Wait, What!?" Niall exclaims raising his voice.
"Finally!" Christina says as she throws her hands in the air just to be over dramatic and sits back in her seat.
"Can you both keep it down a bit? I just told you that I kissed him not murdered him." I seethe.
"Okay sure. But, details. Right now."
As I finish telling both of them the details they are dead silent. It kind of makes me uncomfortable.
"Sooo?"
"Um, nothing. Good for ya. You have finally warmed up to someone," Niall says as he shrugs.
"You do know that it's not true. I am not stone cold to everyone."
"Liz, honey, us four don't count. We have been there since God knows when."
I know that by 'us four' he means him, Chris, Liam and Louis. But I still try to defend myself.
"April. My coworker. I talk to her a lot. We are friends."
"Fine.. But it's good to see that you are finally starting to act normal," he says and dismisses the conversation because he knows that there's no point.
We both turn our heads to Christina. She looks lost in her thoughts. Niall snaps his fingers in front of her to grab her attention.
"Hey, come back to Earth. What are you thinking?" he asks her.
"Ohh, It's nothing. I'm happy for you, Liz. And if that asshole tries to hurt ya, I'll kick his ass."
"Me too!" Niall smiles brightly.
"Oh, you know at times like these, I miss Louis.." she sighs.
"Why?"
"Well Liz you see, he would have left by now to find Zayn to have a 'talk' and somehow by the end of the day he would've had all the information about him. Maybe even his blood group type.?" she says with a dead serious expression.
Niall and I burst out laughing.
"Honestly knowing him, I would expect the exact same thing from him. He gets slightly possessive when it comes to relationships for me." I say with a sarcastic smile.
"Slightly." Niall scoffs.
"Well you literally were the baby of our group. So he is allowed to act like that sometimes," she says as a matter of fact.
"Hey! I never asked to be in that position!" I say a bit rudely.
Little do they know it was one of the main reasons I left Seattle. I hated it when they acted like I was a five year old with not even a single clue about what I was doing. I knew that they were doing it all only because they cared about me and they didn't want me to face other things on top of which I was dealing with already. But it got on my nerves sometimes.
There is a difference between looking out for someone and trapping them inside a bubble so that they are safe from the world. And I hated that they chose to trap me.
Niall was the only one who would be comfortable with taking me to different places. It was like he was okay with everything. He was the one to treat me like a normal person. But I have a feeling that if he knew the details about my past, he would act the same as Louis and Liam.
Louis was the fun one but only as long as it was us five. If anyone else would join, he would go into his defensive mode. He was the loud and goofy one. But I don't know whenever I was with them, it felt like I was making their life as miserable as mine. Louis used to be a bit quiet around me. He wouldn't even let any guy come near me in high school. It felt like no one was allowed to talk to me. It gave me that "unreachable weirdo" reputation. But I wasn't made fun of. Obviously because of Louis. No one dared to.
Liam on the other hand, has always been the total opposite to Louis. He is my first cousin. He has always played the role which Ethan should have played. There is a four year age gap between us. So he was nineteen when I was fifteen, yet he was a very responsible person.
He was the first one to find out about my hallucinations. Luckily, he was someone who my parents used to trust blindly. He told them about my condition and when they tried to shrug it off once more like they always used to, he got furious. Which made my parents realize everything that was going on with me and what they were blinded from.
It was the first and the last time I saw Liam furious.
Liam became my cuddle buddy and has always been my source of comfort since the day he found me sitting on my bedroom floor leaning on the wall with my knees up to my chest, my hands covering my ears and my eyes shut tightly while I couldn't stop crying and screaming. To this day he describes it as one of the most horrifying moments of his life.
I'm like his little sister and he has always played the role of being my elder brother, so to see that sight in front of his eyes, it was gut wrenching for him. Since that day, he has been my constant support. He was the one to tell the others as well since I was too embarrassed to do so. But they all took it well and supported me through it all.
But yet again, Louis and Liam both have one thing in common, which is to be slightly overprotective of me. I mean I'm not complaining but it gets tiring sometimes.
I got rid of my hallucinations at the age of eighteen. After five years of that living hell, I just wanted to be treated like a normal person. Which didn't seem to be possible while living in Seattle and meeting these two almost everyday, and if I didn't meet them, I would have to be on call with them two to three times a day, assuring them that I'm feeling okay. Christina had moved here as soon as I was going back to being normal and Niall a few months later. So that left me in Seattle with Louis, Liam, Ethan and my parents.
After a year of being treated as a fragile little butterfly, I got tired of it. I wanted to be on my own, live my life and not to depend on anyone. Was it too much to ask?
So, when I got the first chance to move here, I made a run for it. I wanted to get away from all of that. Moving here felt like being released from a prison. But the thing is, my life felt like an actual prison. And it felt good to get rid of it.
But that was until I saw Alex again in a nightmare and then hallucinated about a new person apparently, Harry. But that's a whole another topic I don't want to think about.
As much as I don't want to go back, I do miss Louis and Liam a lot. Sometimes I miss their phone calls to check on me every night, to see if I was feeling lonely. If I ever was, Louis would always show up at the doorstep with cartons of ice cream and he would stay until I fell asleep. I miss how Liam would always figure out if I was crying or not. I swear, it felt like that guy has a sixth sense.
I miss them. I miss everything about them.
The worst thing is, I totally cut them off since I moved here. I never tried to contact them. Hell, I even changed my number so that they can't contact me. Maybe it was my stupidity or my fear of how they are going to react to me moving here. Mostly, my stupidity...
"ELIZABETH ROSE!" Christina yells in my face which makes me jolt back.
"What!?"
"Oh, she's alive." she says to Niall in a very calm tone and goes to sit back in her seat.
"So that's how you freaking check if someone is alive? Yell in there face so that even if they are alive might as well turn deaf, aye!?" I ask angrily.
"What the hell is wrong with you? We have been trying to talk to you for like the past ten minutes. And here you are throwing a fucking tantrum like a child!"
"Yeah.. sorry, I got lost in my thoughts." I mumble as I look down at the table.
"What's wrong though? What are you thinking?" Niall asks as he leans forward on the table and raises one of his eyebrows.
"Nothing.. Just thinking about how stupid I was for cutting Liam and Louis off and how I owe them an apology.." I don't even want to look at their faces so I just keep staring at the table.
"It's okay. I mean you do owe them a huge apology. Glad that you finally realized. Because not sure about Liam but Louis was actually very hurt by what you did." Christina says.
"Yeah I know.." her words make me feel extremely guilty.
"Maybe hanging out with Zayn is actually affecting you in a good way. I approve!"
"Yeah, yeah whatever you say," I say and roll my eyes.
When there is no response from Niall, I decide to look up at him just to see that he is looking away from both of us with a huge grin plastered on his face.
"Hey, what are you so happy about?" I ask suspiciously.
"Oh, um nothing," he looks at both of us and his smile is instantly gone. "Just glad that you realized your mistake."
Knowing Niall for all these years has taught me many things. And one of them is that this grin means something else for sure.
"What are you up to now you sly little piece of shit?" I lean forward and squint my eyes at him.
"Oh God Liz! Nothing!!!" he tries to sound as convincing as he can.
But I know better than to believe his words considering his facial expressions.
-_-_-_-_-_-
A.N:
Love ya!