Gerard Way Hesitant Alien ERA
2014
Warnings: suicidal things
Gerard POV
I can't take this this month text after text there's was hate or something popped up that was going to keep me busy, Everyone thought I was okay when (Name) walked by he was always kiss me thinking I was okay, Believing Every time I said 'I'm okay' it was a lie, he knows he can't tell when people lying but he never said he wanted to, but I noticed I was gaining weight months ago and starved myself so many times up and down trying to show (name) I was okay but I couldn't resist go back to alcohol and drugs.
right now I'm at the studio recording the last song for hesitant alien when (name) called "hey babe, what do you want for dinner?" he asked, you could feel his energetic feelings through anything "I just ate with the band" I said, looking around to see if I forgot someone here "okay bye, baby love you" he said before ending the call, I can believe I just lied to my husband of 7 years, I've been lying about my health since we started as friends then dating then marriage just so we can act as everything is normal when we're are just some losers but (name) is the most nicest person you will every meet he will put a stranger life before his.
(at home)
(Name) always was first one to jump on me and hug me, of course he and the dog had a running competition outside but today the dog won but again there's always noise in the house, today it was just silent, and in this situation I been in a million times, I slowly creeped around with the pocket knife I carry with me.
As I slowly approached the bathroom door, I heard (name) crying with loving (name) in all the time we been around each other through pain and fear, I am familiar with how he cry, being careful, I open the door with my credit card and found (name) sitting on the floor with my old box of Death on the floor scattered, razors with old blood or notes with important words marked red
"why didn't you tell me you was struggling since 2005?" (name) said looking at me with tearful eyes "I'm sorry it just... if I told you, you'll do anything too help and then you will struggle" I said hugging him after he got up "I'm sorry but I got to show you something?" he told me, backing up
he pulled up his sleeves to show cuts and burns up and down his arms "I know you stop cutting a month but I couldn't help but to go back and think about my life before you and it was the worst but when I picked up my razor all I say was my 14 year old self telling me you never loved me and that I'm insane crazy adult that needed to kill themselves" he cried in front of me, I knew what he was going, Mikey did the same and we both confess.
"hey, we're going to get through this we can recover, both of us and the help of friends" I said holding his face in my hands "and I guess this is mine time to confess" I said backing up from him so only our hands was connecting us "I've been starving myself and people was sending a lot of hate and stuff was keeping me busy and my sleeping disorder been giving me shit these past months, I'm sorry" I said crying with him.
"let's start getting healthy and sleeping right without distraction " he said , bending down to pick everything up
"we have a long way to go"
the end
sorry if these stories are trash plus it short sorry