Chapter 53
The doctor advised me to see a therapist until they deemed it was okay for me to not see one. I was nervous because I didn't like sharing what I was feeling with anyone but I guess anything to make sure I stay with Ashton.
The therapist was really sweet, but I guess she kind of had to be. She asked me to call her Jennifer as I called her Ms. Sinclair out of respect. She wanted us to be on a neutral level with each other, I guess.
She prescribed me medication as well but only two weeks after I got out of the hospital. They allowed me to stay with the boys for that time being but another foster parent came and picked me up and brought me there. Ashton assured me that I'd be home as soon as possible even though I knew that he was as broken as I was in these moments.
My foster parent was named Alicia and her husband David was my other foster. They had strict channels on the TV so I wouldn't have access to anything that talked about "5 Seconds of Summer". I missed them and cried almost every night because of how badly I just wanted to be cuddled back in Ashton's arms as he wiped away my tears and fixed my hair.
They re-scheduled the court date and I get more and more nervous as it approached. I was allowed a visit from only Ashton a week before the date happened and it was the most relieving thing in the world. We held each other for what felt like forever as we both cried. There was a social worker close by watching us.
"Valerie, I'm so sorry all of this is happening." Ash said as he looked down at his feet as we sat on a bench in a park.
"Stop apologizing. None of this is your fault." I said as I laid my head on his shoulder.
It was what he needed to hear because I could tell how unhealthy he was beginning to get. He looked exhausted and I felt terrible. He didn't deserve this, it's my fault that all of this is happening.
We talked four three hours about everything. Michael and his girlfriend, all of the dogs, music they were writing, my foster parents, and just life in general. It was nice. I missed talking to him every day. I missed everything.
"Please just stay strong, love. I don't know what will happen but I do what you to stay strong." He said as we bid our goodbyes and the social worker stood close to me.
He kissed my forehead and I got in the car and the social worker drove off. I watched as he stood at the sidewalk with his hands shoved in his pockets and the sad expression on his face that was mixed with both confusion of what was happening and nerves of what was yet to come for me in his life.