"and then i kissed his cheek before he cuddled me." i finished telling zac about my date with david.
it has been two weeks since my date with david and i was going crazy. he didn't text me after, i had to text him a few times, but it led to nothing. it's not that we weren't talking, he was just being cold with me, so it made me anxious. i stopped trying to talk to him after three days, knowing that i'd probably fucked everything up. i had no idea what was going on inside his head. now, i was more than aware on how unpredictable he could be, and it scared me a little.
me and zac tried to understand what was happening, with me explaining step by step of what happened on our date. "as i said, i don't think i've done something wrong." i took a deep breath. "he can't be mad at me for not kissing him, it's ridiculous, david wouldn't do that."
"maybe he's just busy." zac shrugged. he told me that a billion times already, and of course, i tried to pretend like that was true, but it was obvious that it wasn't.
i tried asking matt, but he told me he didn't know anything about, that david seemed normal. "maybe i should just forget about it." i said rubbing the back of salem's ear. "it wasn't meant to be, i get it."
"oh come on, you told me ten times already and you know i don't believe it! david probably has a good excuse for not being around lately." zac sighed. then, he stood up and started to grab his stuff. "i gotta go, i need to do something for my work for tomorrow." i nodded, not moving an inch to get up. he kissed my forehead before leaving.
i stood up after hearing the door close and went to my piano, sitting down on the little bench so i could play. i closed my eyes and started to play the first song that came to mind, my thoughts immediately drifting off to david.
i remembered how he smiled while talking to me. i remembered how he touched my face, how good it felt to hear him saying that he wanted to kiss me. i don't get it. he seemed fine with me not kissing him, why would he ghost me like that? he cuddled me for hours, and talked about more random things before we left, seeing like he enjoyed our date. it doesn't makes sense!
i didn't notice that i was playing the wrong chords until i started playing more roughly. i stopped right away, frowning at my actions. i was so frustrated with everything, i just needed a break from los angeles. i looked at salem and sighed. "mommy is just stressed." i pouted and stood up to cuddle her. "everything is messy right now, mommy needs a break." i mumbled with a baby voice.
i kept talking to salem for a bit, but stopped when i heard my phone buzz on my nightstand.
david dobrik: Hey
Are you free today?
was this some kind of joke? i scoffed and fought my urge to leave him on read.
angie👼: yes
david dobrik: Can I come over?
angie👼: why?
david dobrik: Can I?
angie👼: sure
david dobrik: See you in 20
i wanted to scream into my pillow because of how nervous i was. i quickly got up and started to clean up my apartment so it looked decent. it was david's first time here and i wanted it to look nice. i changed my outfit for one more pleasant and tried to fix my hair, deciding on tying the top and leave the rest in messy curls. i called the doorman so he could let david in, before he arrived. i texted zac telling him what was happening and locked my phone, not caring about his response.
after a few minutes that felt like hours, i heard a knock on my door and went to open it. david was there, wearing a black long sleeved shirt and an also black jeans. "hi." he exhaled.
"come in." i mumbled, giving him space to step in, and so he did. he took a good look around while i closed the door behind us.
"your place is so nice." he said not looking at me. "did you paint this?" he pointed to my harry styles painting, of course.
"yeah, my masterpiece." i bit my bottom lip, stopping by his side.
"it's amazing, you're really talented." david looked at me. he liked my art, he didn't think it was weird or childish, he thought it was amazing. that made my heart skip a beat inside my chest.
"thanks." i simply replied. "so... i'm not trying to be rude or anything, but why are you here?" i decided to ask.
david gave me a side smile and sat down on my couch. "i was thinking that maybe you could play for me like you promised."
i tilted my head to the side, looking down at him. "really?"
"yeah, why not?" he shrugged.
well, i mean, you didn't talk to me for two weeks, why shouldn't i play you a fucking song like nothing happened? "sure." i nodded quickly and sat back down on my piano bench.
when i was about to play, david reminded from behind me: "remember that you have to sing."
i rolled my eyes but started anyway. my hands were shaking, but i tried to ignore it, playing the first chords from 'god don't leave me' by highasakite. i kept my voice low, embarrassed by his presence.
i let myself be driven by the music, feeling my whole body go into the song as i played. i was too far gone from my apartment, however, i noticed david stepping closer and sitting down by my side. the bench was little, but fitted the both of us.
i didn't play the whole song, and soon stopped playing. i opened my eyes and looked over at david, finding him already staring at me. he was smiling, and was so close to me. "that was beautiful." he mumbled.
i felt his breath hitting my face, and i almost gave in. however, i turned around to get up, clearing my throat. i would've kissed him if he didn't ignore me for days. "you can't tell that i sing to anyone." i said sitting down on the couch. "if they know, they will keep asking me to sing and i don't feel comfortable enough to do so."
david turned to look at me and chuckled with my words. "i won't, promise."
i nodded and pursed my lips. "you can't do that." i let out, not even noticing until it was too late.
david seemed to be confused, frowning his brow at me. "what?"
i rolled my eyes. "you can't ignore me and then come to my house like nothing happened." i crossed my arms. "i tried to text you for days and you kept cutting me off like i did something wrong."
he looked down for a few seconds before getting up to sit by my side. "i'm sorry." he sighed. "i know it won't make it up to what i've done, it's just... i got a lot on my mind, and it's making me so stressed and anxious and scared." he rambled, which it made my heart ache a little.
i looked at him, seeing his worried face. why was he scared? was he hesitant like me? did he know that we would probably not work out together? was he scared about his feelings? i had so many questions, but i decided to not make them. i grabbed his hand, intertwining our fingers together, and rested my head against his shoulder. "i know," i mumbled. "i think that too.".
david turned his head and kissed my forehead. "i'm so sorry for being an asshole."
i smiled. "it's okay, i understand why you did what you did." i rubbed the palm of his hand with my thumb, in a way that tried to calm him down. "i feel the same way." i continued. "i know how scary it is, especially inside your own head." i felt david nodding. "but you don't have to shut me down like that, you know you can talk to me anytime, if you're feeling stressed or anxious or anything, i'm here, bub." i rested my chin on his shoulder to look at him. and again, we were a couple of inches apart from each other. "we're friends dobrik."
david chuckled and looked away, pursing his lips. "yeah, friends."