A/n- I fucked up the title lol
"Do you not see a pattern here? Do you guys get where I'm coming from?" Matt asks, desperately.
"Okay, but we can't just, like, give up!" Joey retorts.
"Otherwise, we're as good as dead!"
"He's right, Matt, please, i know you lost hope, but please you need to put through ok? Let's start small, let joey read the note. Ok?" I wiped the tears from my eyes as Matt nods, ok were getting somewhere, i look to Joey.
"Let's read before we die" he says.
"You don't get it, Joey. We're as good as dead already. We died the minute we accepted your invitation." I say, he stares at me.
"I just don't see the light at the end of the tunnel," Matt mutters, shaking his head. Joey picks up the priest's journal.
"Well," he snaps defiantly, "why don't we just try finding the next owner so that we can free it and get on with our lives?"
"Yeah," Eva agrees. Joey opens the journal and reads its contents aloud.
"Madison developed a taste for men, and soon the pool was filled with her victims. In time, her conscience began to whisper, and the guilt weakened her. The house moved on to another owner, keeping her trapped in the house." He reads.
"Madison," as it turns out, is a mermaid, according to the sketch on the opposite page. Lele is visibly surprised at this, but I shrug it off as just another weird thing that this house has decided to throw at us.
"The key to her room rests on the first floor and can only be found by breaking open the world."
"The world!" shouts Eva triumphantly, pointing at a nearby globe.
I smile a little. This is easy. The globe's right there. The evil must've decided to give us a break for once. Everyone rushes for the globe. Eva gets there first, punching it out of its frame with an almost frightening ease. Joey proceeds to pick it up and raise it over his head.
"You got this!" i yell.
"Go, Joey!" Eva yells
"You think we gotta break it?" he asks unsure.
"Yeah! Do it! Do it!" Tim says eagerly. Joey throws the globe against the table. Much to our surprise, it stays intact.
"I think we should step on it," Eva suggests.
Oli snatches up the globe. Oli! SMASH! He busts the globe in two with a single well-placed kick, sending the two halves flailing against the floor. The group crowds around his mess, expecting to find our next clue, but both halves are disappointingly empty. Eva's mouth twitches into a frown.
"There's nothing in it?"
"Okay, that's not the world," says Joey with a sigh.
It isn't? Oli's shoulders slump. Lele makes a face.
Then what the hell—
"I found another one!" It's Lele, a stubborn scowl on her face, clutching a second globe between her gloved hands.
"Can I break it?"
Oli shrugs. "Yeah. Go ahead."
"Just do it!" Eva shouts.
To say that Lele "just does it" would be an understatement. She holds it high, channels the ferocity of a fifty-ton wrecking ball, and smashes the hapless globe against the table.
"Bloody hell!" Oli does not want to get on Lele Pons's bad side. Tim cheers. Lele looks extremely proud of herself. There's nothing in that one, either.
"We're doing this wrong," frets Oli, flipping through the pages of the priest's worn-out journal.
"The key to the room is on the first floor."
Joey looks confused. "This is the first floor!"
"This is the ground floor," Oli explains.
"No!" Eva slams her hands against the table, frustration flickering across her face. "We're not in London!"
"Stop talking crazy English talk!" says Tim dismissively. Matt, who's spent the last several minutes doing absolutely nothing, makes a barely-audible suggestion about "other rooms." The group follows him, but not before Tim mutters "poppycock" under his breath.
Five minutes later, they've smashed two more globes, ripped apart a map of the world, and still haven't found the key. Tim's beginning to get a bit antsy about all this property damage.
"We just made that demon extra angry," he remarks as Joey throws the ruined map aside.
"We broke some, like, really nice globes." Matt continues.
"There's so many," moans Joey.
"There's so many worlds!" Eva complains. Tim scratches his nose.
"The spirit's gonna be pissed." he says. But it's not just the possibility of vengeful ghost housekeepers that's messing with my mind. There's also Matt. Since Sierra died, the Professor's been moping around the parlor, going on and on about how they're all screwed, and putting the least possible amount of effort into their search for the key. Whatever happened down there must've really screwed him up. Maybe it was inevitable. After all, his paranoid vendetta against Lele, this thing between us, our hate-love relationship. Maybe it was only a matter of time before the poor guy reached his breaking point.
Speaking of which, where is he?Oh. He's over there, examining a statuette, a questioning look on his face. And the statuette—wait.
"Is that...?" It's a guy with bulging biceps, holding up what appears to be the world. I rush to Matt's side, put my hands on our newly acquired prize, and begins to shake it. This is it. It has to be.
"I don't know," murmurs Eva.
"That looks dangerous." Matt clutches the statuette's base for dear life.
"It looks like he's holding—" Before he can finish, the world falls apart. The upper half topples into my hand, revealing a gaping hole in the center. And inside that hole is the key they're looking for.
"Oh!"
Tim snatches up the key from me, grinning like a madman, glad they don't have to wreck any more globes. Matt, too, has managed to slap on a smile, which is a good sign. Give us a few more victories, and he'll be himself again in no time flat.
The number two is engraved on the side of the key.
"Second floor," Tim assumes.
The survivors practically stampede their way up the steps. Especially Lele, whose high heels somehow survive her frenzied sprint. Matt, on the other hand, is trudging along at the back of the pack, so I figure now would be a good time to give him a good old-fashioned pep talk.
"Hey." I turn to face my friend.
"Lighten up, will you?" i smile.
"y/n—"
"I know. It sucks. We've all lost people. And it gets kinda depressing after a while. But you can't shut down on us. Not now. We need you,and look at you back there, you solved it, no one wants to admit it, but we need the professor." i explain.
Matt smiles, but it fades as quickly as it came and he shakes his head.
"It's no use, y/n. This house...I'm doomed. We all are. I know you're still trying to find a bright side, because you're y/n and that's what you do, but maybe it would be better if we just...y'know...let go."
"Don't talk like that, you psychopath!" shouts Eva from upstairs. I hold Matt back, he averts his eyes to the ground.
"Please." It comes out in a strangled tone, his eyes soften. Tears well up in my eyes, that's it my friend gave up, there's no use.
"It'll be ok, Matt, but please, i care, ok? I do care about you as much as i dont wanna admit it, i've gotten attached to you, but if you don't try, the group is gonna vote you in, please for the love of god Matt,do not leave me behind. Please, please I-" i burst into tears, as he wraps his arms around my waist, my hands place themselves against his shoulders pulling him into a hug before they fully wrap around his neck. We just stay in that position, me crying, him making attempts to make me laugh, a couple which work.
"Maybe Oli and Tim were right, maybe we should just go for a couple rounds of hate- sex" I bust out laughing, wiping my tears as we pull away from the hug.
"I wouldn't mind actually..." he look shocked, not being able to comprehend what I said. I laugh lightly, grabbing the back of neck and pulling him into a kiss, oh shit, ok, he kisses well, pulling away and patting his chest, I begin to walk upstairs to catch up to the group as he stands there dumbfounded. As i reach the top the group tries the key. They try the key on the first door they find, and sure enough, it lets them right in. Matt then joins us, looking at me.
"It's foggy," Tim complains, trying to shoo the mist away from his eyes. And then—a noise, like a snarling snake, coming from a nearby glass cage. Everyone screams. It's the mermaid chick, But she's scary, and she's all chained up, and her mouth looks like it's been sliced open, and she's got gill titties. Really nice gill titties, but still...am I turned on? Am I scared? Am I both?
yes.
"Please help me!" The mermaid screams out a sob, her words barely intelligible thanks to her shark-like teeth.
"The house...it lied to me...it said I would be free...but now I am in chains...I hated my husband...I killed him...it's true..." she looks down.
"What happened to you?" Joey asks.
"He was a very, very bad man!" she wails. She looks terrifying. Her hair is black and oily, her skin is paper white, and her humongous joker lips are smeared with blood. But at the same time, the pain in her voice and the tears staining her skin making me feel incredibly sorry for her.
I want to help her. Even if it means another death.
"But the worst part is...I lost my daughter too!" sobs Madison.
"And the only way I can be with her again is if I find her favorite doll, and then I make things right with those I have killed. You...you..." Her finger trembles at the group.
"Can you help me do those things?" Lele backs away, pulling Eva with her.
"No. There's a reason why you're there."
"That depends," says Tim, because Tim's an idiot.
"Wait! Hold on!" Joey looks like he just realized something.
"You're one of the previous owners, right?"
"Yes," Madison whispers.
"I am...please help me...I will tell you how to go about it...please...get the doll..."
"How do we know we can trust you?" Oli wants to know. Madison's gaze lands on his chest. When she speaks again, there's a whispery sort of hunger in her voice.
"You can look at me. You...you can trust me."
"You don't look very trustworthy," Matt pipes up, my eyes avert to him for a split second then avert. But Joey nods, and Oli's frightened eyes dart to the floor, and everyone seems resigned to the inevitable. They're going to help Madison the mermaid, whether they like it or not.
"Listen to me." Madison's voice has deepened. Danger leaks from her huge mouth.
"I wrote the names of the men I murdered in my diary on the counter. Those names...they need to be measured by the letter in coin." Lele snatches up the journal, trying not to look at Madison's deformed breasts.
Letter in coin? The hell is that supposed to mean?
She's still talking.
"My husband..." She giggles. "My husband kept his stash of golden coins in the dining room. There must be enough to pay for them! All you need to do is...you have to retrieve three bodies of the innocent men...they are chained to the bottom of the pool...but the pool is guarded by my wicked sisters, and anyone...any one of you who dares to enter that pool will be torn into shreds!" She chuckles again, as if she finds the idea funny. Which, to be fair, she probably does. Tim's eyes widen. Eva's mouth drops open. Even Matt
"Why Bother, We're All Goners Anyway" Haag looks worried, i care but really, you still have no hope?
"But they can be lured away by a very special song," Madison reassures the rattled group. Joey bites his lip.
"What do we have to do?"
"You have to find it. And after that, you will be shown where to find the doll!"
"Okay." Oli snaps out of his stupor and springs into action.
"Guys. We need to go." We then flee Madison's room and storm back down the stairs. Matt goes back to his mopey phase.
"I don't know why we're doing this." i grip his arm.
"Of course you don't," Eva snorts.
"Shut up!" snaps Joey.
"Look!" shouts Oli.
"A chest!" He power-walks his way to the box, then stops to examine it further.
"There's a lock on it. We need three numbers." Again? Whatever. Another code. They've got this.
"There's a symbol over here," mumbles Matt from the other side of the room. I let go of his arm and walk over.
"It's a...tab card counter?" i say. It's a coin counter. And there's a note on the side, which Eva takes the opportunity to read.
"The weight of sin will open the door to a song."
"Sixty-nine pounds?" jokes Tim.
Eva ignores him.
"Didn't she say that we need the weight of the coins?"
"Yeah, but what does that have to do with the weight of sin?" Joey asks.
"Just keep looking." Eva has no idea where the gold is, but she does know that it's their best bet to solve this puzzle. And that's all that matters.
"It should be here somewhere." she mumbles.
"Let's see..." Matt wanders around, not really paying attention to the proceedings
"Sin...the weight of sin..."
"Alcohol?" Joey suggests.
Matt lights up.
"Yes! Alcohol is a sin!" I need a drink. Eva points to a nearby platter of booze.
"There's alcohol over there."
"You think we're supposed to weigh that?" asks Oli incredulously.
They do. "Try six-twenty," Joey orders Oli and Eva, who scramble to insert the combination. Matt, meanwhile, forces a smile against his cheeks. It's almost over. Live or die, tonight is almost over.
Oli shakes his head. "It's not six-twenty."
The group scatters, looking for sins.
"This isn't working." They're doing it, and they've got no freakin' idea what they're doing, and this wild goose chase is beginning to piss me off.
"What the hell kind of sin are we supposed to put on the scale?"
"Maybe we should put you on it," says Joey, pointing at Lele. She just flips him off.
"Lele's right. This isn't working. Let's go ask the spirit board." i say.
We gather around it. Joey recites the incantation at breakneck speeds, as if he's a high schooler rushing his way through a presentation he didn't prepare for.
"Greetings, spirits. Speak to us." He gulps. "Okay. Give us...um..."
"A sign," interjects Lele. "Where it could be."
"Where is the weight of sin?" Tim asks. The F lights up. Then the L. Then the O. Then the O again. The spirit board finishes off with an R before it goes silent.
"Floor." The word leaves Lele's mouth. Okay. So it's on the floor somewhere. Under the floorboards, maybe? They search the floor, and Eva Gutowski once again proves herself to be the only one here who knows what she's doing.
"Wait a second." She kneels down in front of a grated vent.
"This can be removed. Hold on..." She carefully removes the grate, reaches into the vent, and pulls out a box.
"Oh my gosh!" shrieks Joey.
"Wow." Matt's voice is a flattened parody of itself. "The floor."
Inside the box is a bag of coins, which prompts another round of cheers from the group. Oli shouts
"We got the gold!" with the same amount of gusto that Lele would expect from a football player who just scored a touchdown. As for Lele, she's just smiles.
Thanks, board.
Joey smiles. "Awesome. Let's put it on the scale." They put the whole bag on there.
"Three thirty-four," Tim tells the group, his fingers crossed like strings behind his back. Come on, we've almost got it, this better work...
It doesn't.
"Wait." Oli wrinkles his forehead.
"What did she say? She said something else."
The butler, for once in his goddamn life, says something helpful.
"I think it was 'measured by the letter in coin." I tell him thank you and he pats my back smilling.
"The letter in coin." Tim shoots a bewildered glance in Arthur's general direction. Joey, meanwhile, thumbs his way through Madison's diary.
"Maybe it has something to do with the three names that she's..." He winces. "...killed."
Tim peeks over his shoulder, as do i. The page Joey's staring at is crammed with names, but three of them—Darren Swenson, Michael Harrison, and Steven Wellington—are circled in black ink. Tim can only assume that those are Madison's three victims.
"I'm not gonna lie to you guys," sighs Matt.
"I'm a little burned out after I killed Sierra, so my brain isn't...you know..."
Dude. I roll my eyes, trying to ignore the twinge of concern twisting around his heart.
Chill out. And stop bringing up the Sierra thing. It's only going to make things worse for you.
Whatever. I'll worry about Matt later. Back to the stupid clue.
The letter in coin... It hits him like a gunshot.
"Count the letters in the names."
Oli's already on it. "Forty-three," he reports.
"Okay." I'm right. I'm right. I've got to be. "So let's put forty-three coins in the bag and weigh that."
"I don't think we have forty-three coins," says Eva, shaking her head.
"Just try it!"
So they try it. Eva's wrong (for once): there are forty-three coins. More than that, actually, but they only need forty-three. Eva weighs them. "Try two hundred and sixty."
"Try two hundred and sixty!" Tim shouts.
Joey tries two hundred and sixty, and sure enough, the lock snaps open. "It worked!" he practically squeals. "How did you do that?"
Tim doesn't answer. Instead, he crosses his arms, smirking at his bewildered friends.
Inside the box is a record, accompanied by a note.
"Play this record to lure the mermaids out of the water. Once they've come to the source of the song, you must find a way to keep them there."
Joey sighs.
"This is never going to end, and we are all going to—"
"Shut up, Matt."
"C'mon on."i say grabbing his hand and pulling him with me.
"y/n, where are we going?" I stay silent. I pull him into a room, that conveniently is unlocked. I push him against the desk, kissing him hard, i go and unbutton his shirt, he's shocked. I back away from him, pulling off my dress, his eyes widen, as i kick the door closed, and well- you know what happened next.
A/n- DON'T WORRy THE JOEy ROMANCE WILL BE COMIN BACK SOON, BUT I LIKE MATT AND NOT MANy FANFIC ARE ABOUT HIM TOO SOOOOOOO, ANy WAy . I NEED SOAP OPERAS DRAMA IN My LIFE LOL.