it was valentine's day. the day that i hated the most. i hate valentine's day since i was 13, because it was then when everything started going wrong in my family. only matt and zac knew about this, so they never pushed me to go out or something. usually i spent the day by myself, watching a movie or having a break down in my room, crying like my whole life depended on it. it was kinda stupid, but what happened was a really sensitive topic.
i groaned when my phone buzzed, showing me a notification with caleb's text. since our first day, we were trying to have something? i don't even know. it has been almost two weeks and we've seen each other almost every single day. he was nice and treated me well. i was waiting for him to text me today, thinking about one good excuse to no go out with him.
caleb: Hey!!
I was thinking about coming over
to yours so we could do something
together since it's valentine's day haha
i didn't respond, feeling bad about it, but not caring enough to do otherwise. i checked my other texts.
matt💛: if you need something
text me okay?
i love you bby
angie👼: thanks luv
ily too
i rolled my eyes when i saw that my mom also texted me and decided to not reply her too. she was probably saying something mean anyways. i then started scrolling through my instagram, and, i swear to god, my heart skipped a beat when david texted.
david dobrik: Angiee
What are you doing today?
Wanna hang out?
i bit my bottom lip. was it a good idea to go out with him? i really wanted to, i didn't know why i wanted so bad to say yes. i think it's because david's a good company and always makes me smile and has the ability to make me forget about my problems when he's around. was it really a good idea to go out with him instead of the guy i was currently seeing?
angie👼: i'm a bad mood rn
but yeah let's go
can you pick me up?
don't really want to drive
david dobrik: Sure!
See you in 30
i quickly stood up from my bed, scaring salem that was sleeping beside me, and went to look for decent clothes. i put on a random hoodie, jeans and my black vans. i brushed my teeth and fixed my hair before sitting down on my bed to wait for him. after a few minutes he texted saying he arrived, i said bye to salem and exited my apartment. i decided to take the stairs and left my building after arriving the main floor. like every time he came to pick me up, he opened the door from inside the car and i hopped in. "hey cutie." i said putting on my seatbelt.
"hey," he smiled starting to drive. "hungry?"
"a little." i shrugged, tapping on the screen to pick a song.
"what do you want to eat?" and he turned his head to my direction. "i didn't say you could pick the song!" he pushed my hand away.
"i said i'm in a bad mood, let me just pick one song, please." i pouted. "i want in-n-out."
"one song." he shot me a glare, starting to focus his way to the fast food. i chose one of cuco's song and we spent the whole drive in silence, with me humming the lyrics. david went to the drive thru and ordered our food. he didn't let me pay, of course, even after i insisted.
"where to now?" i asked eating one of my fries.
"somewhere we can eat in peace." that's the only thing he said before going silent again. it didn't last long though, because he parked right after we entered an almost empty road. it was near a practically abandoned beach. it was late, but i could sense that only a few people visit. he hopped off, grabbing our food and i did the same, helping him with the drinks. he sat on top of the car hood and i joined him, afraid that i was going to ruin the painting. "it's a tesla, don't worry." he said when he saw my concerned face.
"i know dumbass," i rolled my eyes. "you don't have to keep remembering every time we go out." david shrugged before starting to eat while some random song played from his car.
suddenly, david seemed hesitant when he tried to say one thing to me. he took a bite from his burger and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "so... matt talked to me about something." he started.
"oh god, what did he say?" david laughed at my reaction.
"he talked to me about how you hated valentine's day and you always wanted to stay alone for the day, and, you know, i kinda wanted to know why, if you don't mind telling." he rambled.
i shoved more fries into my mouth so i could take a little longer before talking. why was i about to tell him something that i didn't like sharing? david made me feel so at ease and i knew that i could easily trust him. so, yeah, i was going to. "uh, my dad left me and my family on valentine's day when i was 13." i quickly said, avoiding his eyes.
"oh," he seemed to not know what to do with my information. "i'm so sorry."
i shrugged. "it's not like it's your fault anyways." i took another bite from my burger. "what about you?" i glanced over at him and he frowned. "are your parents still together?"
he smiled. "yeah, they are, they are happily married, i think"
i nodded, shifting so i could get closer to him. "do you have any siblings?" i already knew the answer, but i asked anyway. i just wanted to keep talking to him.
"three, two sisters, one brother; and you?" he finished his burger.
"two, one brother and one sister, he still lives in austin because of his work and she is a nursing student." i explained, even though he didn't ask. my phone buzzed in my pocket and i grabbed it to see the text message caleb sent to me. i rolled my eyes.
caleb: Are you okay?
Did I do something wrong?
"who's that?" david asked looking at my phone. i sent a reply to caleb, saying that i wasn't feeling well and locked it.
"just a guy that i'm seeing." i tried saying like it wasn't important, just because i wanted him to know that.
"why did you just lie to him?" i looked at him and he was smirking. i really wanted to slap that smirk away. i wanted to kiss it away.
i leaned back against the windshield. "we spent practically the entire week together, i kinda need a break." i watched as david did the same, laying by my side.
our thighs were almost touching and i knew that if they touched, i would scream. "do you like him?" i could sense something in his tone when he asked that, but i couldn't put my finger on it.
"he's alright." that was all i could answer. i liked him, but i didn't know if i liked him like that, if i wanted something more than what we were having. i didn't want to be in a relationship if my feelings were confused because of david.
"just that?" he turned his head to look at me just to find me already staring at him.
i cleared my throat and tried really hard to look away from his eyes, that now looked more dark because of the night. "i don't know, too early to confirm."
"okay then." david gave me a small smile and i felt my whole body melting on top of his car.
i was curious, i wanted to know more of him, i felt the need to keep listening to his voice, it always shut down my own crazy thoughts. "if you could go anywhere, where would you go?" i practically whispered my question, but david heard, even though the music and the waves were way more louder, looking at me again.
"home, in slovakia." i raised my eyebrows. "i love los angeles, but sometimes i just want to go back to get a little more taste of what we had back there," he sighed. "sometimes it all seems like it never happened, some distant memory." i tapped my fingers on my stomach, thinking about his words. "and you?"
"i think greece, i don't know, my grandparents had so many stories about there, i wish i could go there to escape everything sometimes." i watched as david ran his hand through his messy hair. he stopped to think about another question, but i was faster. "what's your worst fear?"
this time, david hesitated for more than a quick second, stopping to think about a proper answer. it felt like hours, his eyes focused on the sky, one hand resting behind his head, and the other gently placed over his stomach. "being alone, with no friends." he suddenly replied. "i'm always surrounded by so many people, the thought of not having them there just terrifies me."
i nodded and looked at the sky too. "i can understand, i mean, you're never alone, i think i would be scared too."
for the fifth time we were there, i felt the need to scream when he put one of his hands down and it was now grazing mine. i wanted to shift a little more closer so i could touch it properly and intertwine our fingers, just to see how our hands would look together, if they were perfect molded for each other. "what's yours? you seem to not have any fears." we both laughed for a second.
"i can't say loneliness because i'm always thinking that everyone can just leave, in the way that if they all left i wouldn't be surprised." i said, thinking about an answer. "but i don't know, over the years i made matt my safe place, so i think my worst fear is losing him." we both turned our heads at the same time. "i know it's sounds ridiculous, but matt is everything to me."
david nodded and smiled. "i know, everyone can see that." i felt my cheeks warmer. thank god it was dark outside and he couldn't see my pinky cheeks properly. "have you ever had a crush on him?"
i rolled my eyes at his question. "i did, actually." i decided to tell him the truth.
i was like 12 when i noticed i had feelings for him. it was weird at first, it's always weird to like your best friend, because deep down you know nothing will happen owning to the fact that both of you don't like the idea of ruining the friendship. it was pathetic: a 12 year old liking her best friend that was 16. everyone always said we would end up together, and one time, my heart pumped really fast when they said that, like always, but he disappointed me, exclaiming the most genuine 'ew' i've ever heard. that day i cried, but decided that i would stop liking him and i would never develop feelings again. and so i did. i got over him really fast.
"i knew it!" he let out a loud laugh. "oh my god, he swears you never liked him, but i can see you head over heels for him."
i was fast to sit up straight and look down at him. "i wasn't head over heels for him! i just liked him for a short period when i was younger, that's it!" and that was when i noticed my leg was crossed and laid on top of david's thigh a little. "don't tell him, please!" i begged when i saw the smirk on his face.
"why? it was years ago," i laid down beside him again.
"it's weird, please don't do that to me, no one knows about this." i looked at him with puppy eyes.
"i won't, chill." he chuckled and shook his head.
i hummed and started glancing at the sea in front of us. it was a little distant, but i could see it from here. "have you had anyone after liza?" i knew about liza, i mean, who didn't? she sounded amazing, and i really wanted to know her. i heard a lot of stories about their relationship and they looked perfect for each other. and to be honest, that scared me a little.
i returned my eyes to his. "no, i'm very picky." he frowned. "what about you, anyone before caleb?"
i sighed, feeling the uneasy feeling inside my stomach as i lied to him: "uh... yes, just one, he left me when i said i was leaving town. i didn't cry, i just wanted to punch his face and got over him very quickly." david giggled, not noticing how uncomfortable i felt for a moment. "and caleb... i don't think we are going anywhere with what we are having." i changed the topic, trying to distract myself from my own thoughts.
he suddenly stopped laughing. "oh, why?"
"he is... annoying." i said remembering the amount of texts he sends to me daily. "like, he's a good kisser, and is great in bed, sorry if that sounded weird, but for me it's just a fling or something like that, because i don't think i like him the way he likes me." i rambled. "he treats me well, but... no sparks."
david raised his eyebrows. "what a shame." and our hands were touching again. he shifted a little more closer to me without me seeing, and now his shoulders touched mine, the back of our hands were together, almost in an uncomfortable way, but neither of us dared to move away. "your eyes look so beautiful at night." he whispered.
i looked down at his pinky lips. so inviting, if i just leaned in a little bit more we would be kissing. but i knew i couldn't, even though i noticed he was looking down at mine too. shutting down my urge to kiss his lips, i leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth. he smiled and i looked at the sky another time. suddenly, david slid his hand under mine and intertwined our fingers. i smiled with his touch that made me have goosebumps everywhere. i was bold enough to get more closer and lay my head on his shoulder.
and we stayed there, just enjoying the sound of the waves with the random music playing in the back, holding each other's hand. it was perfect to be there with david, in silence after we had the perfect night together. "we should probably go, it's getting really late." he mumbled minutes after. i knew that i could stay there the whole night if we had the chance.
"yeah, we should." i murmured and sat up, he did the same. david let go of my hand and started to grab the stuff from our food and hopped off the top of the car to put it all inside a garbage can near the beach. he offered me his hand and helped me get out of the hood too. i smiled at him and we both entered the car. he started driving back to my place and before he could turn the volume up, like he always did, i spoke: "thank you for tonight, i really needed that."