STAMPYS AND SQAISHEY
Sqaishey's POV
The last thing I remembered was falling over in the kitchen and seeing nothing but black. Hearing nothing but muffled screaming. Now all I could see was a white ceiling that had a bright light on it. The light wasn't on but just the sheer amount of white around it hurt my eyes terribly. I couldn't hear much to be honest. Only beeping, sirens, and footsteps. I was in a hospital alright. When I first woke up I tried to persuade myself that I wasn't. That it was nothing but a stupid, stupid dream. How I was wrong. Oh, how I was so wrong. Within the first thirty seconds of waking up I had so much stuff jabbed into me that I was shocked my arm wasn't covered in red dots.
My body also burned. According to my doctor I had a fever of fifty Celsius which, for teenagers like me, could be fatal. When he said that I burst into tears and wouldn't stop until they started to drip a see- though liquid into me, cooling me down slightly. I still had beads, no tidal waves of sweat rolling down my face at every second. It had already soaked though the top of the bright blue hospital sheet that they draped over my bare body. I still don't know where the hell my clothes are. They could be anywhere at this hospital.
That was around two hours ago. Now, I still had a thick layer of sweat covering my upper body, my nose was blocked, my mouth was dry, I was hungry, busting to go to the toilet, and my chest still hurt like crazy. It didn't hurt in a way that my chest felt 'tight' or anything, it was more of an aching pain. Like pin's and needles. When I first got this feeling I tried to ignore it but now it was just too painful to do that. I crossed my arms over my chest and groggily sat up, my head spinning. My stomach did a few flips before I was violently sick down myself. Ugh, I felt awful. Why was I like this? I pressed one of my hands to my head. It was liked I had touched a hot coal from a open fire. A small shock ran though-out my hand. How hot was I? I guess the drugs they pumped into my system didn't help that much...
The curtain that was surrounding my bed got tugged open and two nurses walked in, both holding clipboards. When they saw the vomit that was all down my front they both started to gently clean me up. I couldn't help but feel extremely embarrassed when they did so, especially when one of them had to un-button the back of my gown, aka sheet, and clean up my back. I don't really know how the vomit got onto my back yet I wasn't going to question it. I was way to tired to do so anyways. Once they finished cleaning me I flopped back down onto the hard mattress and shut my eyes. I felt the thin blanket being tugged over my body, a loud clicking sound, before I had a horrible sensation that I was being pushed forward. In my panic I opened my eyes, sat up, and almost fell onto the floor.
If it wasn't for the nurse who was standing by my side I would've done so. Why the heck was I being moved? What? What the hell was going on? A few seconds of nothing but confusion had passed when the bed slowed down outside of the long hall of bathrooms. The three nurses that were surrounding me slowly pulled me off from the bed and somehow managed to pull me into the bathroom. I sat down on the edge of the toilet with my head in my hands, trying my best not to throw up again. I felt as if it was going to happen at any moment.
While my head was in my hands I peeked though my fingers and stared over at what the nurses/doctors were doing. They were seething up a small, drip stand sort of thing right next to the shower head. I did need a shower but I didn't want to get naked in front of them. I mean, one of them probably changed me into the rag that I was wearing but I was knocked out! I didn't know that they were doing so! One of them then ran over to me, slowly pulled me up and over to the shower. My heart started to slowly sink.
"C-Can I shower alone?" I croaked out. As I spoke my throat felt like somebody was stabbing it from the inside, out.
"Sure. There is a black button there if you need anything. Okay?" I nodded weakly and stared at them as they walked out of the bathroom, and back out into the hallway. I did feel a bit scared, as the bathrooms were right by the hallway! meaning anybody could come in here and see me in the nude at any time. I just hoped that somebody was standing outside the bathrooms so that couldn't happen.
After a few minutes of struggling with the hospital gown I eventually managed to get it to fall around my ankles. When I glanced at myself in the mirror I had to double take to make sure it was me. My face looked normal. My body didn't. It looked like that I had lost around two whole stone in around two whole days, I was pale, my ribs stuck out and...I had a lump. It was bright pink, hard, and scaly. It was on the very top of my...'chest area' and when I touched it a small jolt of pain would run though my body. No...No it couldn't be what I was thinking...there was no way it could be the 'C' word! No way at all! I could have..Cancer...I couldn't! I ran my fingers though my hair again as I stepped into the shower/wet room and started to wash the little bit of body that I had left.
When I finished washing my self I quickly used the toilet before pulling the hospital gown back up again. I opened up the bathroom door and stumbled out and into the hallway. As soon as I did so I threw up yet again. This time it felt even worse than it did the first time. My throat burned, my stomach felt like it was getting squeezed though my windpipe and I just felt plain horrible. The same three nurses ran over to me and started to clean me up again. They lifted me up onto the same bed that I came here on and started wheeling me back to my 'room'. I mean, all it was, was a small space with a curtain wrapped around it. So it didn't really offer much privacy when you needed it.
The curtain got pulled around my bed and I was left there, aching all over, and feeling terribly alone. The hospital gown was already stuck to my chest with all the sweat that my body was somehow still managing to produce. I was shocked that I wasn't dehydrated yet. Maybe I was...maybe I was but my body didn't recognize it as it was fighting off bigger sicknesses. Hopefully not the sickness known as...cancer...No! I needed to stop thinking about that! Of course I didn't have cancer! Why would I? The lump was only small! It was far to small to be a cancer tumour! I felt tears start to roll down my face.
I really wished that my Mother or Stampy was here right now. They always knew how to make things better. No matter how bad the situation I was in was. I always knew that I could trust them. My Mother would be at work though. She worked quite late so it would be a long time until I saw her. So the only person I had left was Stampy. He might be recording right now. I couldn't remember the exact time that he recorded in the morning but I guessed it would be around this time. If he wasn't recording then he might be editing or looking after Kendal.
Kendal.
I bolted up and ran one of my hands though my hair making it all tangled. It was still damp from my shower so small drops of water flew all over my bed, my front, as well as my back. Where the heck was Kendal? Crap...I remembered when I fainted...I was making Kendal some milk. I was holding Kendal...Did-Did I drop him? I felt my heart start beating madly. I couldn't have dropped him! There was no way I did! I wanted to burst into tears and start crying like a baby, just like Kendal would, when the curtain leading into my room opened.
A nurse ushered somebody in. It was Stampy. His face was pale, his hair was stuck up in random places, his eyes were sunken, his eyes were also bloodshot from all the crying that he seemed to do and in his shaking, shivering, pale arms he held Kendal, my son. Kendal looked normal, apart from the large bruise on one half of his face. My stomach dropped. Did I seriously drop him? I can't have done! It wasn't possible! I didn't drop him! Stampy gently placed Kendal down on the small table that was by my bed. It was quite a large table so I didn't really worry about him falling off from it.
"Sqaishey..." Stampy trailed off. His voice sounded hoarse as if he had been shouting at somebody for hours and hours and hours. "I've only just managed to get in here...The doctor rang your mother up, talking about your...Diagnosis...she then somehow rang me up, begging me to go and visit you." Diagnosis? How come I didn't know what this diagnosis was? What?
"Diagnosis?" I whispered. My throat still burned from all the vomiting that I did earlier. Stampy finished whatever he was doing with Kendal and turned to face me, with tears in his eyes. Before I knew it those tears were spilling over his eyes and rolling down his face. "S-Stampy?" He took a deep breath in and sat on the edge of my bed with his hand on my knee.
"They don't know if it's-it's the right diagnosis, but they think that you may have...C-A-N-C-E-R." He spelt it out like he was trying to swear in front of kids. even though my head was spinning and my senses were messed up I still understood what he was saying...Cancer...I could feel tears spike up in my eyes. I shook my head, not wanting to hear it. It wasn't true! I would have something like it, but it wouldn't be as deadly as cancer! Nobody had that sickness in my family so there wasn't any chance that it would happen! There's no way at all!
"I don't have it! I don't! I can't! No! I won't believe until I see it!" I was practically screaming by now. Tears were streaming down my face. My head was spinning. I felt like I was going to throw up at any moment now. Stampy tried to pull me into a hug but as soon as he touched me I swung my legs over the side of the bed and started to run. I had no idea why I was doing so...It was because I had to get away. I had to...That was the only way that I was going to make my way though all of this stupid, stupid sickness lark! I only fainted! That was it! And now I'm getting accused of getting one of the most deadly sicknesses in the entire world!
I ran up a flight of stairs and found myself on the rood of the hospital building. Small flecks of snow was starting to fall from the entirely white sky above me. I held my arm out and let the white flakes fall onto my skin, sting for a few seconds before melting away. Snowflakes also covered the ground in a thin blanket. It looked amazing, beautiful, wonderful. My bare feet were numb from all the snow. I didn't care. I couldn't care about anything anymore. Slowly, I made my way over to the ice covered, metal bars that surrounded the roof's perimeter. Underneath the metal were a few, dangling icicles that were slowly dripping.
I cupped my hand around the bar and peered over the edge. The hospital building was straight down, no ridges to stop anything or anyone from falling to their deaths...A voice burst inside of my head. Telling me to jump...Telling me that: Nothing was worth it. Nothing at all. I would die anyways. In one quick motion I jumped up lifted my feet up in the air which probably exposed my underwear to everybody in England, and hooked my ankles around the bar, so that I was sitting on the every edge of it.
After a few seconds I un-tensed my ankles and let them dangle over the edge of the twenty storey drop. If I pushed myself any further forward then I would finally be able to escape this pain...I knew that I would. I knew that there was one downside though. If I escaped my pain by jumping, then I would cause many other people more pain. Emotions rattled, screamed, and yelled at me from inside my head. I had to jump! There was no other way that I was going to survive this otherwise! I shakily stood up and stepped down onto the only ledge that was sticking out. It was basically the top of the building so I guess it didn't really count.
My toes were stuck over the edge of the small, concrete roof. They dug so much into the edge that I noticed small spots of blood were coming out of them. It didn't matter though. I would be dead soon. I lifted one foot from off the ledge. My heart was racing. My lungs felt like they were water balloons about to be popped. This was it. This was the moment when nothing mattered anymore. I closed my eyes and let the tears flow out of them. I would never see my family again. I would never see Stampy...Or Kendal...But I was going to be a horrible parent to Kendal anyways! He had almost died twice already!
Suddenly the whole of my body got thrown backwards. It was such a shock to me that the only way I snapped out of it was when my body got smashed into the concrete. No...Did I jump and fail? Something warm got wrapped around me. Just from the smell I could tell that it was one of Stampys jackets. He sat me up and stared down at my shaking body. I squeezed my eyes and tried to think about what would happen if I did jump...I would bed dad right now. All my pain would be over yet I was still stuck here, on top of this building, scared and still confused about my diagnosis.
"I'm sorry Sqaishey. I-I knew I shouldn't have said the...c-a-n-c-e-r thing to you so soon. Trust me, when I first heard it I couldn't stop...stop crying. I couldn't imagine you being stuck in hospital forever, being sick with a horrible, horrible sickness. I knew that you wouldn't take the news well but...I didn't know that you would go as far to take your...your own life." He whispered. Both of his hands were balled up in fists in between the many wild and knotted strands of my hair.
He pressed his lips against mine. I was so shocked by how quickly he did it that I fell onto my back. A few seconds had passed before he pulled away and when he did so, I couldn't help but have a weird feeling of loneliness fill up inside of me. Stampy weakly smiled at me before pulling me up to my feet again. Even though his hoodie was draped over my shoulder the whole of my body was still wet from the snow. In the time since I had got outside the snowfall had changed from light to blizzard. He lifted me up bridal style and carried me inside.
"Where's Kendal?" I asked.
"Back by the bed. The hospital staff was kind enough to lend me one of those small, baby bed/trays that they have so he wouldn't fall off from the table. Don't worry, he's safe." When Stampy had carried me down a flight of stairs I got ripped away from him and placed on a bed so fast that I was winded. I got hastily wheeled thought many, many hallways before they stopped right outside of my ward. When the thin curtain got pulled around me drips, wires and tubes got shoved everywhere. Each and every single one of them making me feel more and more restricted.
Once the doctors had finally finished I stared down at myself. I had two wires coming out of both arms, a weird tube coming out of my stomach, a wire coming out of my inner thigh that led to a weird, empty bag. There was also a weird tube coming out of my chest. I gingerly ran my fingertips over the area where the tube entered my skin. It hurt like hell. A small jolt ran though my body. Sighing, I rested my head against the soft pillow and stared up at the ceiling. I started to think about what Stampy said. Maybe...It was possible...That I had c-cancer...Everybody had cancer cells so maybe mine multiplied and just got worse.
I started to remember all the people that I saw on TV when I was younger of people that had deadly illnesses. This one man had no hair, he had lost it all during his treatment. This other person had brown tumours covering his face but he died just after they filmed his interview as the tumor apparently suffocated him. I knew that I wasn't going to turn out like that...Right? I don't know! I don't know anything any more! I just wanted to die! Then everything could just end! I fisted my eyes, not caring if I hurt myself. I hated myself! I loathed myself!
The curtain got pulled open and Stampy walked in. Even though I couldn't exactly see him I knew that it was him...I just knew. He sat down next to me and slipped something into my hand. I slowly sat up and stared down at it. It was a coin purse in the shape of a duck that had a small rose poking out of the top of it. A real rose. I pressed it to my nose and sniffed. It was defianlty a real rose. I gently placed the purse on my lap, stroking the small fluff that was supposed to be the ducks feather. I then quickly placed the rose on my bedside table
"Sorry it ins't much. Hey, if this lump-" He vaugely pointed to my chest. "-Does happen to be 'you know what' then I will...You know what I will do? I will look after Kendal to the best of my abilites. Even though most of our subscribers are children I don't know much about them. But I will try, okay? Whatever happens then I promise I won't let him go into a home! I promise." I nodded weakly, my head starting to spin. Stampy walked over to a nearby, see though, tray shaped object. From the see through, plastic material I could make out a small bundle of white sheets. Poking out the top was a small, red head that had a purple spot on it. It was Kendal.
Stampy carefully lifted him out from the tray and handed him to me. For once I was terrified of holding my own flesh and blood. He looked up at me with his little green eyes, unaware of the fact that he might not see me again for a long, long time. I wrapped a strand of his brown hair around my finger and tried to smile down at him. I couldn't worry him...Even though at his age he didn't know what worry was. He only knew what being hungry felt like, what a full nappy felt like and what being tired felt like. Kendal still had so much more stuff to learn. Most of it was horrible...Horrible stuff. About sicknesses, family, and about life.
Around two minites of me and Stampy sitting in utter silence, a nurse slipped though the small gap in the curtains and walked over to me with a saddened expression on her face. In her slightly shaking hands she held a clipboard as well as a see though box, simular to the one that Kendal slept it only it was much small. In the bottom of the box was around ten to twenty syringes floating around. It made me feel extremly uncomfotable. She looked at me and Stampy, then at me and Stampy again. After a gut-turning three whole minites she fianlly sat down on the chair and started to speak.
"Okay, this may come as a shock to you, but we may suspect that the lump on your chest may be Cancer." My heart stopped. I felt as if I just got shot. I felt like I was paralyzed. "We can't be certain though. So in around an hours time I will take you to the room where you're going to get scanned. Please don't fret dear, it's very rare in girls your age. Even if it is Cancer, down to your age, the treatment will work twice as fast." I nodded, weakly smiling at her. She gently took Kendal from me and placed him in his little bed. "Don't worry. Just try and get some rest." The second she walked out of the gap and pulled the curtain closed behind her I buried my face into Stampys chest and sobbed.
I was going to get the worse sickness in history. I was going to die. I wouldn't be able to see my little Kendal again. Everything was going to go downhill! Why was this happening to me? Why me? Why? It wasn't fair! Stampy gently rubbed my back as I sobbed. When I somehow managed to push myself away from him I noticed that he too was crying. It was only a few tears that were rolling down my face but either so it was...scary. I don't think that I ever saw him crying! I saw him before and after crying but not in the actual act of doing so.
"Sorry, Sqaishey." He chuckled. "I don't know why I'm crying. I'm not the one who could have a terminal illness. Hey, cheer up little ducky. It'll be okay. I know it! You will get the scan done and it will turn out that all the lump is a little tumor that can be removed with a small, little knife. Then we can go back to Squid's and my apartment and play Minecraft until the sun comes up." I so wanted to belive Stampy. I wanted to belive him with all my heart. He had a way of making you feel ten times better when you were meant to feel ten times worse. It worked most of the time, yet right now...It didn't.
I knew that I was going to get that illness...
Without a doubt.
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Hope You Enjoyed! I am not updating any of my books on weekends as I am doing all my collabs then. Woopiee!!