au: greek mythology
part three summary: krystal wants taehyung to trick yoongi, jisoo becomes a pawn in a prank, irene is suspicious of yoongi
ship: yoonsoo
warning: adult content, partying, drinking, strong use of language, dark humor, crude humor, and nut worthy content
Rated: M
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✿*:･°♡°･:*✿
'I am disgusted, I am revolted, I've dedicated my life to the gods of Olympus and this is the thanks I get?'
Angrily, Taehyung carried a limp and dresses in rainbow sequins girl in his arms through the parking lot of the club Lay was having his party in.
An orgy he was hosting and MISSSING was going in the lower part of the club was going on but he just HAD to be a mommy's boy.
'Please, forgive me Jisoo, I know not what I do....'
He genuinely felt so bad about this whole thing. Jisoo was such a sweetheart. A huge, soft, pillowy, flowery baby who could do no wrong. And here he was, going through a prank all because of his vain mother.
'News flash! There's always someone prettier than you! Helena of Troy is still alive!'
How exactly did it get to this point?
Let's go back to 1 hour ago.
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"You want me to do WHAT?!"
"I don't see why you are so testy about this, Taehyung."
He heard exactly what his mother told him. But he thought it was unnecessary and dumb. Who cares if she's younger and prettier. She looked like a sweet girl.
"All you have to do is get her so drunk that she would pass out, sneak her into Yoongi's car and shoot him with a love arrow! Simple!"
"Look, I get it that you are going through a mid century crisis but you are talking about making the darkest, most terrifying man in Olympus fall in love with a flower goddess!" Taehyung sneered through his teeth.
"Do you know what happens when a cupid fucks around with his love arrows? Dangerous shit happens!"
But sadly, Krystal was still hellbent on her prank. "I still fail to see the problem in this. No one is getting hurt."
Taehyung let out an annoyed growl. He knew his mother could be so vain but he never thought it was to this extent.
"If you don't then I'll tell everyone about that embarrassing incident at Jin's birthday." She threatened.
Taehyung gave her an offended look. She knew how much that time scarred him as a child. He's been scared of birds ever since!
"You wouldn't!"
Krystal waved her phone in his face. "In a heartbeat."
"Blackmail....you devious witch." He mumbled, squinting his eyes. "Fine! But if I get my head turned into a pile of dog food for Cerberus, I'm blaming you."
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Just as Jisoo was feeling tired and wanting to go home, she was stopped when she was on her way to Irene.
"Oh! I'm sorry." She said kindly.
The stranger was tall, his hair was blonde, styled in a mullet and he was wearing a very nice red silk shirt with black pants.
"It's okay, young one." He said with kindness in his smile. A very pretty smile.
"You must be the new girl Jin talks so highly about."
Jisoo chuckled embarrassingly, scratching her cheek with her finger. "Ehehe. . . I see,"
"Well, you are as beautiful as he says you are." He charmingly complimented. "Oh! Where are my manners? I'm Kim Taehyung, love extraordinaire and I run the love column of Kim Magazine."
Taehyung swiped out a business card that was solid gold and printed with pink letters on it.
Jisoo took it and began to read the words.
Kim Taehyung a.k.a V
The love and sex expert
She blushed when she read that. He wasn't just the God of love but he was also the god of. . . .other things.
"V?" She questioned, keeping hold of the card.
Taehyung smiled proudly, fixing his shirt collar. "Why yes, lovely, you ever wonder where they get the name Valentines day from? Not some old white guy, that's for sure."
Jisoo giggled cutely, which made him turn a little pink.
By the gods, she is just too precious!!
"You're silly, Mr. Kim." She said, smiling at him.
Her good nature alone made him feel super guilty about ehats gonna happen to her. He felt sick already.
"Well, come with me, lovely. I'll tell you all about it with a couple of drinks, of course."
Trusting him, Jisoo allowed him to lead the way.
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"So how are you gonna talk to little miss flower power?"
Yoongi had to listen to his brothers drone on and on about how he should approach Jisoo. At first, they had some good ideas but they were quickly shot down with one problem.
Irene. That man hating lesbian.
Or at least they thought she was a lesbian. She hadn't shown any men interest.
The last time a guy showed her interest, she turned him into a goat.
That was enough to scare any man, God or human, from approaching her.
"How about I just go home." Yoongi said, loudly. "I've been here for about 4 hours, tell Lay I said congrats on the divorce."
Hoseok looked very disheartened while Namjoon frowned a little.
"Awww, you didn't hear my plan." Hoseok whined. "It involved a fish and a stripper."
Yoongi paused, giving him a weird look. "What the fu- look! I'm tired and I have work tomorrow. I'll see you on sunday."
Every Sunday, the major gods have a Sunday dinner together.
"Alright, if you say so." Namjoon murmured. "I better see you there 2:30."
"2:30 PM. Gotcha, little bro."
As Yoongi left the VIP section, he couldn't help but think about what Namjoon said to him. About him needing to settle down and find someone.
At first, Yoongi scoffed at that idea. He was better alone. His life was just fine the way it was.
Besides, he's spent centuries alone. What was so different now?
Who would want a pale, death demon with father issues anyway? Not to mention a low self esteem.
No. . . He refused to have someone deal with his baggage. He had too many baggages and they were heavy.
No one deserves to go through that
Especially not someone like Jisoo. Who, from what Namjoon says, is the sweetest girl and the most innocent goddess alive.
She would never go for him.
Why bother?
He sighed as he walked to his car that was parked across the outdoors parking lot. Taking out his keys, he unlocked his doors and was prepared to toss his coat in the back.
But everything stopped when he opened the back door and found a figure laying asleep in his car.
Yoongi scowled. Who the hell let a drunk girl in his car? How did she get in his car?
But then he suddenly recognized the rainbow, sequin dress. He also noticed how low the back was, exposing her smooth and soft looking back.
And then his eyes slowly moved from her back to her legs. Those beautiful legs.
He couldn't help but bite his lip a little at how sexy-
What the hell? He thought this girl is clearly passed out and I'm looking at her like meat?! Mother would have slapped my soul out of my body
Yoongi sighed again, taking his coat and placing it over her.
Well, off to the hospital, you go.
Just as he was about to close his door, he noticed the rose in her hair. Recognizing that, he slowly reached over and moved her hair out of her face.
He knew exactly who she was.
It was Jisoo! That Flower Goddess!
"What the fuck?" He murmured. "How the hell-"
His words were interrupted by a quick and sharp pain in his back. Like someone shot an arrow at him or stabbed him with a needle.
The pain left as fast as it came.
Yoongi rose up and started looking around himself.
There was no body but him there. Where the hell did that come from?
Shaking his head, he closed his car door shut and proceeded to over to the driver side.
I should stop drinking whatever wine Lay makes. . . . That shit is too strong
- a u t h o r s n o t e
Hey! I'm so sorry for my inactivity. I was going through writers block and my mental state. If you know about my on and off depression, you'll know there are days where I dont want to do anything because of it.
That and work. So yeah.
But I'm fine now and I hope you like this. This was supposed to be posted like 3 days ago lol
Don't forget to comment and vote
Love ya