Chapter 36
Cara
I think Keith and I will be just fine. He's showing how much he grew ever since the girls were born. I've only been home for 2 days and he's already stepping it up. When he brought me and the girls home for the first time, he was so sweet and gentle. He was the Keith I knew and fell in love with. He helped me out a lot and basically did anything I asked. The girls kept us up a lot and I didn't get much sleep the first night, but he was there when I really needed him. He woke up most of the time every night feeding them and trying to put them back to sleep. Raising twins is so much work! I didn't expect it to be a breeze but I didn't realize how hard it would be! When Crystal cried, Claire woke up and cried right along with her. I couldn't just let Keith wake up every two hours with the girls alone, I had to get up too sometimes. I mean there's two of them.
I remember one night, I was in so much pain. The doctor did tell me that my vaginal area would be tender and sore for a while, but I didn't realize I would be in pain. I was tired a lot and so cranky and irritable. I slept a lot too. I felt bad because I realized Keith was doing so much! So when I heard one of the girls crying on the baby monitor, I told Keith that I would go for once. I wanted him to get some rest too. It was about four thirty in the morning. I walked over to the nursery and opened the door. Claire was fast asleep and Crystal was screaming at the top of her lungs. She was beet red and looked like she was going to explode. I quickly picked her up and rocked her a bit. I sat down in the rocking chair and placed her head on my shoulder. I realized how warm she was and I lifted her up. She was really warm. I figured it was from the crying because this happens a lot, but she was really warm. I was so concerned and a little confused. I pressed my lips to her forehead and she seemed even hotter than before. I stared at her face and noticed how red her face was again. I got up and walked over to the dresser and took out the baby thermometer. I stuck it in her ear and waited. It red 102.2 and I gasped. This would be the first time she had a temperature. I quickly brought my screaming child into my room and called Keith's name. He quickly jumped up and walked over to me.
"What's going on?" He asked while moving the hair out of my eyes.
"I don't know. I think she has a temperature!" I said sounding panicked and worried. He sighed and took her from me.
"She's probably just warm because of all the crying." He told me.
"No, Keith I felt her and then I took her temperature. It was 102.2! That's bad right!?" I asked. His eyes widened and he quickly walked over to the closet to find some clothes. I watched as he walked around the room looking for things. I looked down at Crystal who was still crying and tried to shush her, trying to soothe her. Keith walked past me and went into the nursery. I followed not too far behind to see what he was doing.
"I'm going to need you to call Chris. We need to take her to the hospital." He told me. He walked away and ran downstairs. I stood there holding her. I hope she's okay. I really don't want anything bad to happen to her. Although I'm sure it's just a cold. I heard Claire's crying from the nursery and I went to check on her. I touched her forehead and her neck and she didn't seem to have a temperature. I sighed and placed crystal on the changing table. I needed to get her dressed if we were going to the hospital. I picked out something warm for her to wear and put a hat on her head. She was still crying and It was making me nervous. Keith came in then with his phone to his ear and a cup of coffee. He handed it to me while talking to someone on the phone.
"Who are you talking to?" I asked. He ignored me and got Crystal's purple baby bag out from the closet and threw a couple outfits in. He picked Claire up and bounced her a little and she stopped crying. He placed her back in her crib, hung up the phone and sighed.
"Alright, so I called your doctor and she said to bring her in to a local clinic, just so that she could get checked."
"Well, why can't we just go see her at the hospital? I don't want to take her to a clinic." I said. He sighed agitatedly and finished putting on Crystal's clothes for me.
"That's our only option. She doesn't work all hours of the night, we would only be able to see her sometime tomorrow. We might not even see her in the morning Cara." He said impatiently. Claire began to cry again and I sighed.
"Well I'm not taking her to a clinic Keith." I told him. He groaned and walked over to Claire. He picked her up and started to bounce her again. I stared at him as he did that and then looked back down at Crystal. She was crying so much and she looked so miserable. I picked up her baby bag and put a couple of things she might need inside. I placed Crystal in her crib and walked out the room. Keith was sitting on the rocking chair, rocking Claire with his eyes shut. I knew how exhausted he must've been. I took a sip of my coffee and walked into the kitchen with Crystal's baby bag in hand. I took out a few bottles to make some milk for her. Then I remembered that if Claire was coming with us, then I'd have to make a bag for her as well. I sighed and walked back upstairs. At least I wasn't huge and waddling all the time. When I got back upstairs Keith was asleep. Claire was awake in his arms but she wasn't crying anymore. Crystal was though, not as loud as before but more like making noises. I grabbed Claire's bag from her closet and packed some clothes for her. I put a new pack of diapers in there as well along with some socks and hats. I put her bag over my shoulder and picked Crystal up. I brought her downstairs with me and put her in the playpen. She continued to cry and I was starting to feel more and more exhausted. I finished packing Crystals things and zipped her bag up when I heard Keith coming downstairs with Claire in his arms.
"I had called Chris. He's working the night shift so Becca agreed to watch Claire." He told me as he walked into the living room. He placed Claire in the playpen with Crystal and sighed.
"But where would she sleep? They don't have a crib over there." I told him. He sighed loudly and walked over to me.
"Then we'll just bring the playpen alright?" He said. I frowned and he noticed. He kissed my forehead.
"Look, baby I'm really tired and I just want to go and see if Crystal is okay." He told me. He put both of his hands on my cheeks and kissed me lightly. "Can we leave now? Do you have everything?" He asked. I nodded and he picked up Crystal and walked out to the car. I got Claire along with both the girl's bags and followed. He put her in her car seat and strapped her in. I put their bags in the middle of their seats, strapped Claire in and went back inside to get Keith some coffee and my purse. Keith finished taking apart the playpen and we locked the door and left.
When we got to Becca's house, she was up in her robe watching Jerry Springer. She smiled at me and gave me a tight hug. She wasn't there when I gave birth so she promised me that she would help out in whatever way she could. She took Claire's car seat out of Keith's hands and I put her bag down on the couch.
"I already have two bottles made for her, you just have to heat them up." I told her.
"Alright." She said.
"And don't put the bottle in the microwave, just boil some hot water and put the bottle in there for a few minutes." I said.
"Okay." She replied.
"And don't put her on her stomach to sleep." I tell her.
"Okay Cara." She said annoyed.
"Oh, and you have to put your hand under her neck, not like that, she could get a head injury." I said correcting her on the way she was holding her. She rolled her eyes and shook her head."And clean the bottles thoroughly okay? The nipples need to be sterilized, I don't want her to get sick. And don't forget to bathe-"
"Alright Cara! Just go worry about Crystal, I got this!" Becca say's impatiently. I wasn't trying to nag her, it was just the first time I was letting someone else take responsibility for one of my kids. It's hard, I was watching her hold Claire and I was already feeling separation anxiety! I looked over at Keith who was putting the play pin together. When he finished assembling it, Becca told me that she would sleep on the couch to keep an eye on her. I thanked her and Keith grabbed Crystal's car seat and we left.
When we arrived at the clinic I was getting anxious. I've never been in a clinic before and it was just so loud. It was way out of town and there was such a long line. We walked into the waiting area and I saw so many people needing assistance. There were little kids with cuts and wounds, and old men coughing and gasping for air. Women with crying toddlers and grouchy children. And teen mother's to be, with sad worried faces. We walked up to the front desk and a kind looking woman asked us if we had an appointment. I told her no and she asked for my baby's name and other information. Keith stood by my side the whole time with his arm around my waist. When we finished checking in, the woman gave us a clipboard and told us to fill out some paperwork. We sat down in the waiting area and I began answering the questions. Crystal was still crying and Keith was trying to soothe her by gently rocking her car seat on the floor. I continued to worriedly look at Crystal. She was crying so hard, probably because there were so many other crying babies. We waited a while and Keith struggled to stay awake. I sat there taking sips of my coffee and rocking her gently with my foot.
When the nurse called her name Keith woke up immediately and we walked into the office together.
As Crystal continued to cry, the doctor asked a few questions and checked her body. He did something like a routine physical but then he noticed her cough. He checked her throat and told us that she has a lot of build up and mucous. Keith and I asked the doctor what was actually wrong with her and if she'd be okay. After a while, he told us that Crystal had pneumonia but it could be treated. Although he tried to reassure me, I felt so sad. People die from pneumonia!
"So, what should we do?" I ask.
"Well, we'll administer some antibiotics and run a few more test and she'll be free to go home." He told me.
"What kind of tests?" Keith asked.
"Well, we need to see where her oxygen level is and do a little more observation. You all will be free to go home as soon as we finish evaluating her." He told him. I felt my eyes tear up and Keith squeezed my hand. We sat there as the doctor ran his tests and nurses came in and out of the room. I was nervous and worried but Keith kept rubbing my back or kissing my head to remind me that everything would be fine. After everything was done, we left around 7:30 in the morning. We were exhausted and Crystal was fast asleep. We finally made it back home and put her in her crib. Once she was back asleep, I called Becca to see how Claire was doing.
"She's great! She fell asleep about a half an hour after you guys left." She said.
"Thank you so much Becks, I really appreciate this." I told her.
"Oh no worries! She's an angel. But anyway, how's Crystal? Is everything okay?" She sh, well she has pneumonia, but she'll be okay. The doctor gave her medicine and I have to just keep an eye for any other symptoms. It's a good thing I noticed when I did." I said.
"Oh wow. Well that's good that you noticed! So how long do you want Claire to stay over here?" She asked.
"I'll probably come pick her up this eavning. Maybe around six or seven."
"Sound's good. I have to work at seven fourty-five though. So come before then. Chris works at eight so it should be fine." She told me. We talked for a little longer and she told me that Chris just got in and she had to go. We hung up and I went straight to bed. Keith was already asleep so I just did the same.
That was the first night that my motherly instincts actually kicked in. I was so tired that night and in so much pain, but I got up anyway and did what I had to do. I love my little girls, they mean the world to me. I'm beyond grateful for them and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I couldn't have done it without Keith though. He was really stepping up to the plate by being a father. He loves them so much. He cares so much about them and would do anything for them. I'm grateful for him as well. My family and friends are all I need. If I didn't have them, I'd be hopeless and alone. I love them and I so fortunate to have them in my life.
I never got to call Caleb back. I wouldn't say I loved him but I really did care about him. He was there for me when no one else was. And Ashley was a great friend. Yes, Caleb stopped calling me but Ashley called and texted me to see how I was doing. She came over once too so that she could see the girls.
Ava was living with Ciarra. She told me it was hard but it was good enough. She plans on moving back in with us. I mean, all her things are here and she'll need a place for her baby to stay. She came over the morning after we took Crystal to the doctors. She looked so sad and angry. She rang the bell and hugged me so tight. I figured that she was still upset about the fight we had, or maybe Ciarra was making life hell over there. But it was much worse.
"Come inside, I thought you had a key." I told her. She came in and sat down on the living room couch. Keith was still asleep and I was downstairs with Crystal, making a bottle for her when she arrived.
"Can you bring her upstairs or something? I really don't want to see her right now." She said while sobbing. I gave her a confused look and did as she asked. when I came back downstairs she was crying even harder, maybe even louder than before.
"Ava, what's wrong?" I asked her. Her hair was a mess and her face was pale. She looked like she was going to be sick. I got up and fetched a mint from the kitchen counter. i came back and handed it to her. She put it on the couch beside her and looked up at me.
"Cara, It's just awful. Why me? Why does this have to happen to me?" She asked me.
"What honey, what happened to you? Tell me, please!" I said.
"Cara, my...my baby...it's...gone!" She said, screaming at the last word. I stared at her crying face. I was so shocked. I was speechless. It was as if my heart stopped. I looked down at her still four months pregnant looking stomach.
"No..." I whispered.
"Why!? Why me!?" She screamed. I pulled her face to my chest and cried with her. I squeezed her as tight as I could and she squeezed back.
"What's going on here?" I heard Keith say from behind me. I couldn't even speak. I just sat there and cried with her. What do you say to someone who's had a miscarriage? What do you say to your best friend when her baby dies and you have two healthy ones? Do you say 'I'm sorry?' No, you can't say sorry, you can't tell them everything will be okay. All you can do is be there for them. I felt Keith sit next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. He wrapped his arms around both of us and we cried even louder. I thought that Crystal getting pneumonia was terrible. I thought that it was the end of the world. But little did I know, my best friend was grieving over the loss of her unborn child. I couldn't ask her what the gender was, I couldn't ask for any details at all! All I could do was hold her and comfort her. She would be sad for days, months, maybe even years. She'll never forget this. This will be branded in her memory bank for the rest of her life. And all I could do was be there. I coudn't make the pain go away. I couldn't bring her baby back. All I could do was be her best friend.
We sat like that for what seemed like hours. She just continued to cry, she didn't even say a word! Keith had left us togo check on Crystal and I finally told her that I'd go downstairs with her. We sat on her bed and she stared at the floor.
"Ava? Tell me what happened. How did you find out?" I asked her quietly. I watched as a single tear ran down her cheek. She placed her hand on her stomach and sighed.
"Ciarra convinced me to go with her to the hospital. I was bleeding uncontrolably and I was in a lot of pain. At first I was nervous that I was going through premature labor but once I got to the hospital and told the nurse how far along I was, she just told me." Her head sunk in her hands and she sobbed uncontrolably. I decided not to ask for anymore details and I just layed there with her.
Eventually she fell asleep but I couldn't. It was as if I had lost a child. I don't know what I would do if that happened to me. I'm surprised she even wanted to be around me. I mean, I have two healthy baby girls and she...It just sucks. I slowly got up and went over to where her nursery was. I was completely empty. It felt so dead in there, as if there really in fact was no life. I felt myself begin to cry and I fell to my knees. I sat there and sobbed for my friend. I probably sat there all night crying. When I finished, I laid on the floor numb with sadness.
I woke up the next morning still on the floor. It was cold and I was starving. As I left the room I saw that Aa wasn't on her bed. I walked upstairs and the entire house smelled like bacon. I smiled when I saw Keith in front of the stove. He looked upp and smiled at me.
"Good morning beautiful." He said. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. He kissed my lips lightly and smiled at me.
"What time is it?" I asked. He pointed to the clock on the stove, it read 6am. I sighed and rolled my eys. "What are you doing up this early?" I ask. He turns off the stove and puts the bacon on he plate.
"Well, if you must know...I got a job!" He says with a lot of fake entusiasm. I see his eyebrows fron and he shakes his head lightly.
"Should I even ask?" I say to him. He stops what he's doing and turns to face me. His face looks mad and he folds his arms.
"I'm working for my dad." He says. he immediately picks up his plate and walks over to the dinning room.
"Are you kidding me!?" I say as I follow him. He sits down and begins to eat.
"My mom was starting to get concerned about how I'm going to continue to provide for you and the girls." He says.
"Well, is she cutting you off or something?" I ask him.
"No, but my dad will."
"What do you mean? Isn't it your mothers money?"
"Nope, It's my dad's account. And the house is his. He's taking everything Cara. He's taking everything he paid for." He says.
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