My muscles wouldn't relax. A tension binded each one; every ligament and tendon still perfectly intact. I was tense, but I relaxed completely, when a child pointed to Alphonse not ten seconds after we departed from our train car.
"Are you the Fullmetal Alchemist?"
"Uh, no," Al replied, pushing his fingertips together as he forced a smile. "You see, that would be my older brother, Edward."
The child looked to where Al was pointing, and then yelled out. "How can YOU be the Fullmetal Alchemist? You're not even in a suit of armor! Lame!"
"WHAT did you just say you little"-Ed stopped and turned to me, cracking a grin and placing his hand on the child's head. Probably a little too rough-"Completely adorable child. Innocence is so precious, isn't it?"
He tried to laugh, but the child pulled out from underneath him, stepping back and rubbing at his head.
"Ow," he whined. "That hurt! What, is your hand made of metal, too?"
"Yeah," Ed was looming over him, still trying to keep that same forced grin on his face. He took off his glove, wiggling automail fingers. "It is, kid. That's kind of how I got the name."
The kid's face twisted in confusion. "What the heck!" he proclaimed. "That's only part of your body!"
Ed huffed, straightening and pulling his glove back on. "Yeah, tell it to the b-Brigadier who gave it to me."
"What's a Brigadier? Is that a type of animal?"
Ed sighed. "No. Hopefully they'll teach it to you in school."
"UGH. School's boring."
"Yeah, that's what I thought, too," he was guiding the kid away. "Now go study a book on animals or something."
"Heywaitaminute! Mister, mister!"
We looked over to see a little girl in braided pigtails, running over to us and waving a piece of paper over her head. She had a pencil in her other, and my heart almost melted just at the sight.
"Aww, Ed," I cooed. "She wants an autograph!"
She nodded, stopping where she was and presenting the drawing utensils.
"Mister, I'd like your autograph, please!"
With a huge grin on his face, Ed crouched down, becoming head level with her.
"Sure thing!" he replied.
Ed gently took the paper and pen from her, focusing on signing as neatly as possible. While he did, the little girl looked over to me, giving a smile with missing teeth. "Hi, lady!"
I put my hands up to my mouth, absolutely in love. "Hi!"
"Here you go!" He offered the utensils back, and the little girl nodded. She took a waddling step, arms out like a toddler, and I basically melted all over again.
"She's soooo cute..." When can we get one?
Ed grinned, laughing in that sneaky way of his. That was what distracted me from seeing the flash of a blade.
I didn't see the impact; the girl's arm was blurred from the speed. But I heard how it went in, the wet deliverance as the blade was lodged into Ed's stomach.
A choked groan fired from his mouth, eyes wide but head bowed. He lowered further, curling in, as the girl spoke.
"How's that for an autograph, Fullmetal Alchemist?"
The other little kid, the boy next to me, just screamed, hands in his hair. Al and I watched on, too stunned to do anything. A Homunculus? This little?
My thoughts left me, my brain rendered completely useless before I heard Ed finally make a sound.
He laughed once, and that's what got my heart kickstarting again.
"You stupid brat."
The girl flung away from him, squealing in the air. She laughed, the sound wicked. "Just kidding!! That didn't hurt!"
Without clapping his hands, a wall appeared, separating us from the small Monster. The lightning, blue with red highlights. I needed to focus... I couldn't worry. Not now.
The screaming of the boy caught my focus next. The high-pitched squealing curse.
I saw Ed's lightning again, hearing the snaps as his stomach and skin healed. He clapped his hands, producing a cannon that immediately fired.
"Get him to somewhere safe, okay?!"
The child. The non-evil one. Okay.
"Yeah," I sprinted towards the kid, bending down to scoop him up in my arms, hold him against my chest. His chin bounced against my shoulder, continuing to scream in my ear. I flinched away at the sound of it.
"WHAT THE HELL'S HAPPENING SHE JUST STABBED THAT GUY!" His voice grew even louder, commenting on something I couldn't see. "AND NOW SHE'S GOT THESE WEIRD THINGS COMING OUT OF HER WHAT THE HELL!?"
I did not want to know WHAT those 'weird things' were. My spine was crawling just at the thought of it!!
My eyes shut tightly, as if that could block out the ringing in my ears. "Please stop," I said, and felt him relax a little against me. Good.
I stopped near some building, dropping him from my hold and feeling him slip from my shoulder. His breath was ragged, just like mine, and we stayed bent with our hands on our knees.
"Are you okay?" I asked, eyes closed.
"Yeah," he responded. "You?"
I nodded, feeling bile rise in the back of my throat. My mind almost shot to this morning, feeling Ed slip down my throat and my stomach twitched with butterflies. But I couldn't escape in memory. Not now.
I sprinted back, and when I saw what lay before me, I skidded to a stop, stumbling over my own two feet.
The sound of something firm against hollow metal caught my attention. But it wasn't enough for me not to stare at Ed's hunched figure. He was on all fours, expression nothing but a grimace.
Why... Why wasn't he healing?
I wanted to move, gently put a hand to his shoulder and arm, try to help him up. I kneeled beside him, wanting to give something. Anything...
"Are... Are you okay?" An idiot's lament. But it was these four words that brought his golden stare to me. However brief.
"F-fine," he sputtered, sending a few drops of blood to the concrete. He continued coughing, spurting out pools of blood. I stared at the puddles, seeing part of my reflection in them. I didn't know what to do; my own walls at a stalemate, torn between breaking and rebuilding.
Another wave splattered, hitting the pavement of the station. I focused, knowing Ed was more important than I was.
I knelt down, hand finding his back, mouth asking the useless question of what I could do.
He steadied himself, knuckles scraping against the pavement as his hand curled. Sweeping streaks of blood along the paths his fingers made. His blood-stained glove.
I caused this, too.
"Ed...?" I needed him to say something.
He breathed, the sound horrible and weak. Like his lungs were dying.
He winced, some wound on his face pattering drops of red, adding to the others below.
"I can't..."
The words were barely spoken, barely audible underneath the sounds of Al fighting and the blood raining down.
"I..." His hand moved into a fist, a string of blood swinging from the space between his lips and the earth below. It landed, punctuating his words. "I can't..."
Lightning snapped, the shock enough to force me away from him. I stumbled back, catching myself on the ground behind me. Watching him heal with sparks and cracks of red. Repair all the wounds again. But the lightning was quickly dimming, and without thinking I moved. Gently placing my hand on his shoulder.
His hand found my arm, fingers clenching tight and palm pushing against me, trying to stand upright. Winces twitched into his face, and all I could do was watch. All I could do was offer him a support structure. Be the pillar he needed me to be.
His hold slipped, and I gripped his shoulder a little firmer, still trying to be soft with the motion. I felt like I couldn't breathe, like my own mind was floating from me. This couldn't be happening. I was having another nightmare. I knew I was.
Sparks started up, red lightning crackling along his chest, his face. I watched and took in the sights I could see, the cuts on his cheek sealing with foreign transmutation.
His hand pushed against me, and all at once he stood, human hand wiping the drying blood on his face. He was back, determination in those eyes of golden fire.
I could only hope to emulate it, one day.
Pushing off against a knee, I stood, immediately jumping back as a pointed shadow shot itself against Ed's automail blade. Ricocheting off, and as soon as it had gone into the ground, Ed charged forward, turning around and producing a wall with a clap of his hands and his palms against the ground. It was tall, the structure, with red and blue light crackling around it.
"Are you alright?" he asked, but I was stunned with confusion. He was... asking about me? He was worried about me?
"I'm... I'm fine," I said, and wiped a droplet of sweat off the side of my cheek.
With another dodge, Ed yelled out into the fray's noise.
"AL, NOW!"
"Right!"
Ed clapped, slamming his hands against the ground, and the earth below the Homunculus rose like a small tidal wave, quickly trapping him inside a cocoon of darkness. Simultaneously, another wave rose as well. An added layer. Another bout of protection. "Way too easy!"
I felt my own walls stir, seeing that small comparison. If only they knew... The monstrosity inside...
"Hey!" A voice squeaked, fists hitting the thick walls. "Lemme outta here!"
"No way." Ed grinned, laughing a little, his thumb passing his nose.
"Nice one, Brother!" Al smiled, returning Ed's thumbs-up.
"Old tricks work like a charm!" Ed sailed into the air, jumping straight up and over another attack. A thin bolt of shadow. Another one?
I looked over, seeing another Homunculus I had neglected before. But with the same strategy, the teen was sealed in darkness and we were free.
_____________
After a moment's discussion, we decided to head north. Back to the West again. After the point to go safer was raised, I briefly suggested we headed East. At Ed's expression, a closure of the eyes as he turned his back on me, swinging the suitcase over his shoulder, the topic died.
Was he... Avoiding our hometown?
No. That was a stretch. But all the times Winry or Pinako was mentioned... His face always fell, his fists always clenched...
Another mystery. Chalk it up with the strange light, power, and height increase.
And then number five arose: Ed let me pay for a meal.
My eyes widened a little in surprise, and I saw Al's head turn towards his brother.
He was.. He was actually letting me pay?
Before any heavy thoughts could come, realization dawned on me, a light bulb going off in my head. Equivalent exchange; he was trying to pay me back for...
Heat rushed to my face as I remembered what I had done not even twelve hours ago. I quickly turned away, covering my weak attempt at a cough with my fist.
I let him do what he wanted, too embarrassed to put up the usual fight. And Ed just grinned all the way through, as if we didn't just struggle for our lives.
_____________
I expected something different, when night rolled around.
I expected some rejection, some change of sleeping arrangement. But, to my surprise, Ed got the same room he usually did. Two beds, four walls.
Heat swarmed and stirred in my gut, fluttering around and making my brain loud with thoughts of why.
We climbed the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Wounds around my ribcage and lungs hurt, each exhale pressing pain against the base of my left lung and lower ribs.
"I'm... Actually hoping they have a bath in this place," Edward began, and I glanced over to see how his expression was in a light amount of pain. The warmth in my stomach turned cold and heavy.
"Are you hurt, Brother?" Alphonse asked.
Ed shook his head. "Just a little sore," he answered.
The room we had saved couldn't come quick enough. When we got in, I watched him disappear, red coat still on as he reached behind himself, closing the bathroom door and allowing that bright light to slip away. The door closed, clicked shut, and left Al and I alone.
Ed's bath started a few moments later. The water squealing out and rushing to begin filling the tub. I hoped it was roomy enough for him. I think our stroke of bad luck would just continue without that detail.
Ed's voice came to my mind, words he had told me when talking about breaking into the fifth lab. How his automail got jammed. What he said came back, altered a little to fit my own train of thought.
"Well, we got out alive, so there's that..."
I guess so. I lifted my stare, noticing Alphonse wringing his hands together from his place on the couch. He was worried, and before I could hesitate any more, I leaned forward, resting my jaw on a palm.
"You have a deck of cards on you, Al?"
He looked over to me, and then smiled. "Uh, yeah, they're in Brother's suitcase! Here"―He quickly stood up, almost running over to where Ed had placed his luggage near the bedroom wall―"Lemme get them. What game would you like to play?"
I quickly recalled his favorite one. "How about Gin?"
"Okay!" He looked over at me, hand holding the small deck while his other shut the lid of the suitcase. He bent down to set the case upright, continuing to reply. "That's my favorite game."
I smiled, watching him retrace the path he had taken to get to the couch. I resisted the urge to say "I know it's you're favorite"; I didn't want him to think I was taking pity on him by playing.
So we played, and when the clock was five-past-ten, I retired for the night. Ed had long rose from the water, towel wrapped around his waist as he briefly ventured out into the living area, grabbing his suitcase from its place against the wall, and shut the bedroom door.
Part of me snuck glances in between hands of cards, wondering why the door was shut in the first place. Sure, he needed the privacy of changing, but after...? It only made sense to open the door again, if he was welcoming me to sleep in the same room.
So when the clock was five-past-nine, I stood and stretched, leaving Al to nod.
"You must be tired," he said. "Sorry, I forgot about sleep."
"It's fine, Al," I told him, trying to make my voice as calm, as light as possible. Like shining a beam of light on a lab rat. "Good night."
"Goodnight." And that was our farewell for the evening.
I opened the bedroom door, and slowly watched my surroundings become visible.
He was there, sitting at the foot of his bed, the moonlight from the sole window brightening the room as much as possible.
I took a step. Just one step. That's all I needed, and I was submerged in darkness.