Eight years ago...
"Fatty, fatty, two by four! You can't get through the classroom door! Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah! You are so fat, you must have stuff your mouth with greasy French fries before you could even swallow your food down your throat!"
Slamming my balled fists against the top of my desk, I snap my head at Angelica with my eyes that are burning like fire and I slowly rise up from my desk. "Look, Kate Moss lookalike, come over here and try me!" I snarl through my teeth and grip onto the edges of my desk.
"You are a fat nig-" Before she can finish her sentence, I lift up my desk and throw it at her direction before I push the desks out of the way across, so I can push the bitch's face against the whiteboard and my fist connects Angelica's chin prior to grabbing her by the hair, slamming the side of her face against the wall and around before I strike her in the mouth. Angelica collapses on the floor. She begins weeping. I storm off to her and tauten my grip on her hair and slam the side of her face against the teacher's desk where most of the class are clamoring obscenities. As I'm about to check Angelica's face to see if there's blood on, I glance at the appearance and out of nowhere, I'm being pulled away by two burly men in the uniform. "Don't you forget it, you stupid weak bitch! I'm not fat; I'm curvy, bitch!" I yell before I'm being taken to the Principal's office.
"SHIT!" I shout after I sit up from the fist that knocks me out of my nightmare when I was at my high school classroom on my bed and I slam the snooze button with my hand with anger. I groan at the time, which is now 5:35 AM in New York City.
My name is Jaelyn Christina Rodriguez. I am twenty five years old, I am the fourth out of five children, I am African American with Native American, Italian, and Portuguese descent, I'm single, I'm living all alone like Phyllis Hyman, and lastly, I'm not fat; I'm curvacious, baby! I go ahead to the bathroom to take a quick shower before I go out for my morning jog.
"Ugh!" I groan at the sight of my face on the reflection showing in front of me due to dark circles under my eyes and my pale rosy lips. I peel the silky headscarf off my hair to unravel my French braids; instead I turn the knob on hot and jump into the shower. After deciding to wet my hair in the shower, I start washing my body with my favorite signature scent; Vanilla brown sugar body wash following by the vanilla brown sugar body cream when my shower is over. Letting my natural hair in luscious waves, I begin braiding my bangs on the left side of my head and leave the rest of my hair alone. I brush my teeth, lips, wash my face, and look straight at the full frame mirror in front of me and I see a caramel twenty five year old woman pursing her lips. I'm never happy ever since I was an adolescent, why? Because I'm known as the 'big girl,' or the 'big girl with fat hips.' I didn't gain weight overnight. I begin gaining weight at twelve and over five months when my siblings and I visit my Dad, he was curious with my weight gain. At that period of time, my parents were separating and he was like, 'Gloria, what did you feed our child,' with his signature booming Bernie Mac-esque voice.
Ever since I started high school at Fiorello H. LaGuardia High School of Music & Art and Performing Arts, I want to dance because I've begin to dance when I basically five years old. Eventually, one of the girls with ribbon pigtails remarked, "Fat bitches can't dance!" Was I seriously gonna hear those girls shame my fame and disrespect my body shape? Hell, no! So, I run and jump off the stage to tackle one of the girls, snatching a chunk of her hair extensions in my hand. After that day, I knew I have to protect my body and reputation because the thin figure bitches are jealous because I have the shape of a pear and if they have bullshit to say about my curves, bitches get stitches. Throughout high school, I've been involved with fights, detentions, and suspensions due to my bewildering temper. In high school, I have a few gentlemen callers and when I say 'few,' I mean all gentlemen ask me for my number and prom just to get some, but I'm not having that until I'm in love!
But, on June 21, 2008, which was the day of my high school graduation, is a part of a new journey that is quite a blessing in disguise by God.
My family and I went out to the restaurant and all of a sudden while I was eating my Caesar salad, the sharp tightness on my chest occurred and my heart was pounding my chest rapidly like, 'Bu-boom! Bu-boom! Bu-boom! ' Really rapidly, like I really thought I was gonna die. I really thought I did. When I wake up to correct my dizzy vision and face the doctor, he already told me that I had just experienced a heart attack and he consulted to me that I should lose weight, thus concluding that I'm unable to conceive. At first, I had resentment towards that because I've been the big girl for six years and I can't have kids because of my reckless choice. Since then, my high school Gym teacher Ms. Fleming planned my meal plan, take my exercise easy on the first week of the weight loss journey, and excluding the sugar, candy, desserts, and sodas. I found out that water is the substitute for soda during the process. Ms. Fleming signed me up to participate in a marathon and one of those dance classes that doesn't look like you're working out, but you're dancing instead. Which was a lot of fun, by the way.
I can thank God and Ms. Fleming for helping me drop two hundred and two pounds. I look fabulous now! Just like my Mama says in Portuguese, "Não importa o tamanho... Não importa o seu peso é, você ainda é uma mulher bonita sempre e para sempre," which means, "No matter what size... No matter what your weight is, you are still a beautiful woman always and forever."